Health Check

 

February 19, 2026

“You claim Biden’s staff covered up his health problems, and you look like you work part-time at a medical school as a cadaver in exchange for them saying how healthy you are.”
                         Paula Poundstone, February 13, 2026

Speaking of health, move over Life on Earth, here comes Coalie. What the fuck is Coalie you ask? Oh, ye of little stupidity. You are clearly attempting to stay mentally healthy by keeping your attention unpaid. Let us pay it for you…

Coalie is the Trump administration’s AI generated mascot for guess what – beautiful, clean coal.

This is fucking Coalie: He’s so cute.
He wants to watch you die. Slowly.

Here’s a much better mascot, ready to help out

Gritty, preparing for a shot on coal

Donald Epstein Trump, the Giant Orange Tumor on America's lung, just received the coal industry's version of the non-existent FIFA Peace Prize, crowning him The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful, Clean (Cough, Cough) Coal. What a pitiful lout. And just look at the faces of the three other people (below): the guy on the left looks like he is sucking on a lump of coal, the guy in the hard hat is looking for the exit, and the guy on the right is thinking that his entire life has led up to this moment and he just might be ending it all tomorrow. Meanwhile, Little Boy Orange is in awe of his specialness even as he is soiling himself.

This Health Check was brought to you by Fuck Donald Trump And The Whores He Rode In On, and by

THE Donald TRUMP
memorial EPSTEIN FILES

You know them, you love them, you don’t want to wait for the movie to come out to see all of them. It's the law.

I. Mangrey reporting. Nobody told me there'd be days like these.