February 23, 2026
During our report one week
ago, covering The
Donald Trump Memorial Epstein Files, the following appeared:
Our interns are hard
at work starting a rumor that within those millions, possibly billions, of
Epstein Pedo-files still being held hostage by Trump (who, it must be
remembered has the authority to release anything he wants to), there are
hundreds, possibly thousands of photographs of Trump with underage girls.
Allegedly. Or so it is said.
Whatever you do,
please resist the temptation to spread this rumor, as it is completely
unfounded. Or is it? We may never know.
Upon further
investigation, our non-existent sources have informed us that this is not a rumor. The fact that photographic evidence of Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump with underage girls at one of Jeffrey Epstein's pedophile parlors exists should in fact be
treated at absolute fact. Or at the very least as alternative fact.
We apologize to anyone
who was offended by this grave error. We hope that our sincere apology in the
face of this miscue will allow you to retain your faith in our high-quality reporting,
which many people are saying is the best quality, perhaps in all of recorded
(or at least blogged) history. Rest assured, nothing like this will ever happen
again…until it does.
This is Ed Venture,
managing editor, once again apologizing. The duck stops here.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled
snow removal.
Duck you, pal.
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