Broken News – The Epstein Pedo-Files

Nothing To S(l)e(az)e Here

November 13, 2025

New information has come to light about some of the interactions between King and Queen of the Pedophiles and blackmailers Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell, and a guy called Donald Trump*…oh and a redacted someone known only as “VICTIM” with whom this Trump character apparently spent some hours at Epstein’s house.

Via Instagram

This information became public as the result of a subpoena served on the Epstein estate. This is likely whence any juicy tidbits on the Trump/Epstein case will emerge, even though it appears very possible the House will vote to release the Epstein Pedo-files now that Mike Johnson’s 50-day stalling hiatus designed to avoid swearing in Adelita Grijalva who, after being elected nearly two months ago, was all that stood between the American people and access to all the Epstein evidence.

However, given 1) the amount of time that has lapsed and, 2) the ubiquitous, unrelenting and shameless crime and corruption that is the entire raison d'être of the Trump administration, this reporter will not be the least bit surprised to learn that, oopsie, it appears there never were any Epstein files. Donald Trump’s non-existent dog ate them. Or Trump himself accidentally ate them.  Or I t was all just a Democrat witch hoax fake news hunt and Donald Trump will be suing America for a thousand million gagillion dollars for besmirching his otherwise squeaky-clean, mint-condition reputation as the nicest, most honest, most beloved and least racist person in the history of the United States. Also, Donald Trump never even met himself. He does not own a mirror and has no knowledge of his alleged existence.

Show Me The Epstein

If we do end up seeing any evidence the Formerly-Known-As-Justice Department has been sitting on and is forced to release (assuming Rep. Nancy Mace doesn’t jump off the release-the-files ship because she is in the midst of some kind of stroke marathon), we believe the documents will all look like this:

Audio files will be nothing but bleeped-out hours and white noise – not the white noise we hear out of Trump’s face sphincter every day, but the meaningless static-y sounds…again, not the meaningless static-y sounds coming from Trump every day, but the other stuff, like when tv stations went off the air late at night in the old days. I’m old enough to remember when shit just shut down for a few hours every night because there was still a shred of sanity in the human race. Buh-bye to all that.

____________________________________________
*Yes, that Donald Trump. Referred to in an Epstein email to Maxwell as “the dog that hasn’t barked.” And why hadn’t that dog barked? Was it too busy licking its balls? Epstein also stated, about Trump – in another email to journalist/slimeball Michael Wolff – “of course he knew about the girls as he asked ghislaine (sic) to stop.” Could this be why Trump had Epstein “commit suicide”?

Later that blight

OTHER BROKEN NEWS UPDATE

Last night the House of So-called Representatives voted to re-open the government for two months, after which we will go through this whole death-dance again.

 

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled heebie jeebies.

Broken News – Assholes Foreign And Domestic

Hey, Look Over There

November 12, 2025

In a futile and stupid gesture to take the focus off of Sleepy Don’s disastrous domestic policies – you know, tax cuts for the rich, government shutdown (now the longest shutdown ever), take food and healthcare away from the tired, the poor and the huddled masses yearning to just fucking survive, Trump tried to shift the conversation to foreign policy. Trump, who can barely keep his beady eyes open when he's not the one yammering away, has shown no interest in anything other than denying the reality of his failing presidency, blaming Joe Biden for everything, getting revenge on every perceived enemy and America in general, committing crimes and dissolving the Constitution and perhaps most important to him, rolling around in gold doubloons like Smaug and building monuments to himself. Like any pathetic, self-obsessed dictator would. 

The Senate has now voted – thanks to seven Dems and one Independent – to end the shut-the-fuck-down. Now the House has to put their two cents in to make it official. The House is poised to return from House Squeaker MAGA Mike Johnson’s self-imposed eight-week-long paid vacation – mainly to avoid having to vote on releasing the Trump/Epstein Pedo-files – to vote on officially ending the Turmp Shutdown. Funny thing: Squeaker Johnson will then have to swear in “recently” elected (some 70 days ago) Adelita Grijalva (D-AZ), who ran on, and vows to become the 218^th member needed to vote on releasing the long-demanded files to the public. By most accounts, there is much more Trump than meets the eye in those documents, audio tapes, etc. A veritable piñata of putrid pedophile perfidy. Whack away!

Il Douche had his unsightly, zip-coded ass handed to him in the recent elections all across the country that hates his miserable guts. Fortunately for him, he has his classless new marble and chandelier bathroom to tend to his ass. Dour Leader decided to show his fuckwit bona fides on the international stage by hosting fellow fascist pig Viktor Orbán in what’s left of the White House.

The Trimvirate…oops, I mean Triumphant Rats

Trump, seen above (just a few days before hosting another Let-em-eat-cake gala at Mor-on-Lago while 12% of Americans go hungry) likely bellowing at a reporter, while Vance takes a selfie and Viktor Orbán  imagines killing the reporter with his bare hands.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled ICE raid.

Fraught For The Day – One-In-Eight

Ain't Even No Cake For You!

November 10, 2025

There is something that does not get mentioned enough. There are countless stories every day that concern this issue, but do not include it at all, let alone feature it front and center. In the news biz, this is called burying the lede.

 

By now everyone has heard countless stories about the Grocery President Donald Fucking Trump canceling SNAP grocery assistance benefits. This is certainly a big story and is on its face no less than a crime against humanity. Period.

Two federal judges have ordered the sadistic fuck Trump to, at the very least, tap into emergency funds (which will only partially fund the program) already set aside for just such an emergency – no matter how contrived, or created as a diversion from the Epstein/Trump Files. The Supreme Court has blocked the lower court’s order, choosing to wait for higher courts to weigh in. While people are fucking starving. In America. Yes, that America.

Oops, I digress. Burying the lede, as it were.

The thing that barely gets mentioned, but should be shouted from the rooftops, and every other fucking place every fucking day is the fact that ONE-IN-EIGHT Americans – not South Americans, not Central Americans, but America Americans – most of whom are white, depend on SNAP benefits to survive.  

One in eight? Children. Seniors. Single moms working two or three jobs. People with disabilities. Veterans. White people!

To quote Chuck Schumer, “This president is a fucking liar. He says there’s no money to provide food stamps because of the shutdown. That’s bullshit.”

Yes, that Chuck Schumer.

Life Goes Off

And yet, late last night eight Democrats voted with the Fascist/Trump Party to capitulate and end the shutdown without getting anything in return. Millions of Americans can now expect their health insurance premiums to skyrocket in the near future. While those who have gone without their SNAP benefits due to the Trump Shutdown will now be able to afford to eat. The fruits of those benefits will be worth less when they die from lack of health care. All thanks to the Joe Manchin wing, now the John Fetterman wing, of the Democratic Party.

But don’t worry, the Dems got a promise from across the moat…I mean aisle to get a vote on extending the Affordable Care Act subsidies in December. And we all know what Fascist/Trump Party promises are worth. I suggest those eight Democrat surrender monkeys hold their breath until that vote happens.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fraught For The Day.

Radio WTAF Request Line

Ariel Baddass on the air and taking your requests

November 8, 2025

Paying Attention™ DJ Ariel Baddass convinced management to add a request/dedication line for folks to hear what they want, when they want it, and send it on out there to someone special if they so desire.

Hey boys and girls, cats and kitties, all the ships and clippers at sea. This is Ariel B spinning platters of various sizes, though we always defer to vinyl whenever possible. Just to remind you, I was asked to leave my last gig after my tribute to the great Joey Reynolds. As Joey did on his last day at WIBG in Philly back in the early ‘70s, I locked myself in the booth and played John Lennon’s Give Peace a Chance for an hour or so, until they brought in a locksmith and a very large gentleman to help me to my car.

Thanks to the good folks at Paying Attention™ for hookin’ me up to once again play the platters, spin the saucers, dish out the discs and respect the stacks of wax here at PA Central. I hope you’ll enjoy us playin’ the hits, the misses, and anything else you might wanna hear.

I. Mangrey perusing the playlist

DJ: Let’s hit the ground spinning and take our first call. And who do we have on the line?

Caller Betzy: Hi, Betzy here, long time listener, first time caller.

DJ: Hi Betzy. Nice hearing from you. What’s your request and who are you dedicating it to? We’re here to make it happen.

Caller Betzy: Thanks Ariel. I would love to hear Elvis Costello doing (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding. I’d like this to go out to all the anti-woke Trump junkies. I would like to help them wake up and smell reality. These poor folks are seriously ill and toxically white. And they’re making the rest of us sick as hell.

DJ: Excellent choice. A great cover of the classic Nick Lowe tune. Love your dedication. Trying to help these poor suckers out of their stupor. There’s nothing funny about them. Thanks for calling in.  Comin’ right up.

Elvis Costello & The Attractions - (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love And Understanding

Send us your requests and dedications and we’ll get ‘em on the air. 

Question For The Day – Aw, Shoot

WARNING: Unflinching Satire

November 7, 2025

I am concerned about the president. Donald Trump is clearly unwell. His body is failing and his very, very large uh-brain, which has long been suspect, is deteriorating before our very eyes. He looks dazed, he falls asleep at meetings, and his delusions of grandeur (and everything else) are snowballing at an alarming rate. His poll numbers are sinking near the speed of light; his political standing is swirling down his brand-new Lincoln Bathroom toilet.

Today’s Question For The Day:

Many people are asking (though not me): if Donald Trump shot himself* in the middle of Fifth Avenue, would he lose any voters?

 This is satire and is in very bad taste**

Bonus Question:

Do many people (not me of course) think he should try it and find out?

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*His body, his choice.
**You’re welcome.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.

Pic Of The Day – Puffy Daddy

The Shape Of Slaughter   

November 7, 2025 

No asshole. Everybody is not having a good time.

BONUS PIC

Notice how the “hair” has retained the exact shape of the just-removed hat.

DOUBLE BONUS PIC

After a staffer collapsed and everyone else in the room gave the man their undivided attention and assistance, the Cheese stands alone. The Cheddar-in-chief paid the same attention to what could very well be a dying man five feet away as he does to what could be a dying nation all around him.

Trump being Trump

This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.
Remember, things will get worse before they get much worse.

Thought For The Day After The Election

Two Thumbs Up For DJT

Just Like He Promised

November 5, 2025

Okay, who ordered the schadefreude?

SO MUCH WHINING!

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day After The Election. 

Paying Attention™ Election Central 2025 Broken News – Off-Year Election Coverage

Never Too Close To Call

November 4, 2025

Many people are saying that this off-year election, featuring, among other races across the country, contests for governor in New Jersey and Virginia, mayor of New York City and a California ballot initiative on Democrats finally bringing a gun to a knife fight by counteracting all the redistricting/cheating by the Fascist/Trump Party in red states.

Paying Attention Election Central is prepared to call the following:

We are projecting a big, fat liar, who will claim that any contest won by Democrats was rigged

This has been a Paying Attention™ Election Central 2025 Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled hope beyond hope. 

Late Nite With I. Mangrey – Dickless In DC

This Just Out

November 4, 2025

War criminal, waterboarding aficionado, drunk crippled-bird-hunting-partner-face-shooter, covert CIA operative outer and ex-vice president under George WTF Bush, Dick “Dick” Cheney has finally departed the world he worked so hard to fuck up beyond repair. He has shuffled off this mortal coil. Bereft of life, he has gone to meet his maker. He is no more.

He must go straight to hell. He cannot pass GO. He cannot collect $200.

Of course it’s considered bad taste to speak ill of the dead, but given the current state of the world, which Cheney helped to fuck up so badly, bad taste has, at least for now, and especially on this day, lost its influence on human interaction. If it ever comes back we’ll let you know.

Given all that, there is but one thing to say on this auspicious day:

It’s about fucking time.

Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow.