It’s
Not The Crime It’s The Fuck-up
February 27, 2026
Yesterday saw the
desperate Fascist/Trump/Epstein Party attack their go-to bogeyman, or in this
case, bogeywoman. Whenever they get their diapers in a twist, who they gonna
call? Why it was none other than Hillary Clinton – who never met Jeffrey
Epstein and is never mentioned in the Donald Trump Memorial Epstein Files,
unlike certain other persons-of-much-greater-interest, such as Donald and
Melania Trump, one of whom deserves a giant trophy for best supporting actor in
a pedophile role. Both Trumps appear in probably thousands of photographs with
Epstein and his convicted-partner-in-heinous-crime Ghislane Maxwell.
The Clintons with Epstein and Maxwell
Wait, that’s not the Clintons?
The most recent
revelation, which hit the news stands hours before Trump’s two-hour-tantrum in
front of Congress, was that the FBI is hiding 50 pages of documents pertaining
to four interviews by the FBI of a woman who accused Donald Jeffrey Epstein
Trump of sexually assaulting her and beating her after she bit his uninvited,
unwelcome little pecker…when she was thirteen years old. Somebody has a lot of
splainin’ to do. And it ain’t Hillary Clinton, or even her very questionable
husband, who you might know is not the president today and is not mentioned nearly
one million times (that we know of) in the Donald Trump Memorial Epstein Files.
At least the
committee got Hillary to spill the beans on UFOs. They also decided to ask
Clinton about Pizzagate, the absurd Qanon conspiracy theory that accused
Democrats and assorted high-profile liberals of running a PEDOPHILE RING OUT OF
A BASEMENTLESS PIZZA SHOP BASEMENT. Are you fucking kidding me? Donald Trump
was best friends with the chief of what was likely the BIGGEST PEDOPHILE/CHILD
SEX TRAFFICKING OPERATION IN AMERICAN HISTORY, while that best friend was
running the operation and Trump was very likely helping his pal recruit children
and young women to be raped and trafficked. Why the hell would they even bring
up Pizzagate again? What kind of clueless idiots are these Trump ball ticklers
and ass kissers?
What about her
emails?! Benghazi! You forgot about Benghazi!
Speaking of the
Donald Trump Memorial Epstein Files, according to our non-existent sources, Trump
is claiming that most of The Donald Trump Memorial Epstein Files can't be
released because they are under audit.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled Dead Parrot sketch.
Ah, the old ‘You can’t see it because it’s under audit’ ploy. Right.
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