All The News (Noise) That's Shit To Print
April 16, 2026
Mr. and Mrs. America, and all the ships and clippers at sea,
we, like so many others, are frequently asked to rewrite history, or have just
taken it upon themselves to make shit up.
If Donald Trump was Winston Churchill…
Well, assuming he would not just say okay to Hitler and the
Nazis, because why wouldn’t he. You’re right, he would absolutely have sided
with Hitler. Presumably, he would have, as he is doing right now with great
vigor and success, attacked Americans by every means available.*
We shall go on to the end, we shall fight in Iran, we shall
fight in Cuba and the streets of America, we shall fight with growing lies and
growing stupidity everywhere, we shall defend our power, whatever the cost may
be, we shall fuck you at the gas pumps, we shall fuck you at the checkout lines,
we shall fuck you in the housing market, we shall fuck you at the voting
booths, we shall fuck you over health care and shoot you in the fields and in
the streets while you protest peacefully, we shall fight in the cities and
towns; we shall never surrender until America is defeated and ours forever.
This has been a Paying Attention™ special feature.
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