Gratuitous Shilling For Planet Earth

Happy Earth Day

The Ocean – Coming Soon To A Street Near You

April 22, 2026

Some might notice a trend in the graph above. Some might be too greedy and/or braindead to give a shit and/or notice anything they can’t see from inside their own colon.

As part of his relentless crusade to murder the planet – and by definition those who inhabit it – wannabe king Donald has cancelled $25 billion worth of wind projects. His alcoholic Defense Secretary Kegseth claims it’s about national security. It is actually about national stupidity, and few do that better than Kegseth. Though the competition is fierce within what will come to be known as the Death-To-America administration when the history of our time is written (if that is still permitted).

As an aside, you might recall that Piss-Drunk Pete promised he would stop drinking if he became secretary of defense. Gee thanks fuckface. As we watch this numb-nuts carry on with his psycho-killer/radical Christian idiocy, one hopes – for his sake – that he has continued drinking to excess after getting his new job. If he’s doing all this sober, then raging alcoholism is the least of his problems. Either way, he is not the least of ours.

Musical Interlude

Ariel Baddass here. Glad to chime in with a few tunes for Earth Day while it’s still legal. The dipshits who want to end Juneteenth and MLK Day will surely be coming for Earth Day before they’re over – which hopefully will be November 3^rd. Anyway here are a few tunes for your angst-ridden enjoyment. And remember: A mountain is something you don’t want to fuck with.

Nick Offerman Is Sounding the Alarm:

America’s National Parks Are Under Attack

Loudon Wainwright III – Hard Day on the Planet

Kansas – Death Of Mother Nature Suite

World Party – Ship of Fools

World Party – And God Said

Flo & Eddie – Keep it Warm

Mothers of Invention – Billy The Mountain

Thanks for the opportunity to join in the Earth Day festivities. And now, back to our regularly scheduled rant already in progress...

Native American wisdom says we do not inherit the planet from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children. I think it’s time to fess up to the kids: Um, kids, um don’t get mad. We didn’t do it on purpose. Well, we sorta did actually, but we couldn’t help it. Anyway, again, we’re really sorry and we promise never to do it again, but here are the keys to the planet, and really, thanks for letting us use it, really. Hard to believe, I know, but we really did appreciate it. Anyway, we sorta crashed it. It’s pretty bad, but no one was hurt, well, no one we know…yet. Actually, a lot of people were hurt. There was sort of a pile-up, but we’re okay. Also, I’m pretty sure it’s totaled. What? We’re grounded? No more planet for us? Doesn’t that seem a bit harsh? Okay, we’ll shut the fuck up now. Again, really sorry. Please don’t tell your sister.

The only good thing to happen since Dirty Coal Don took over is his stupid Iran War, that is unless and until Trump and Hegseth start sinking oil tankers, is making more and more people thinking about electric vehicles.

For those of you who are still not dead or toxically apathetic from the climate crisis and the rabid ignoring of it, here’s just the thing: https://oilwell.app

Happy Earth Day from all us tree-huggers at Paying Attention™