Too Many Psychos Spoil the Broth

You Can’t Shut Your Lyin’ Mouth

July 13, 2019

No matter how hard the Russians try, no matter how many other foreign interests Chrump invites to help him, no one has done more, for decades, and continues to vigorously pursue nation-wide disruption of our elections, than the Republican’t Party.  One of their latest attempts, of course, is weaponizing the 2020 Census in order to instill fear in non-whites.  Attorney General Bill Barr is just the latest player in this ongoing, sickening saga.

Bill Barr took his lips away from Donald Chrump’s hind quarters just long enough to spit out a few more lies.  First, Barr tried to paint Chrump’s abject surrender on the Republican’t dream of adding a citizenship question to the Census questionnaire as a big win for the Loser-in-chief.  Then Barr swung for the fences.

Barr decided to respond to “reports” that Chrump had considered using an executive order to override the Supreme Court’s decision to nix the overtly racist plan to disenfranchise non-Republican’t voters via the Census, Barr said, “This has been based on rank speculation and nothing more.  As should be obvious, this has never been under consideration.  We have already accepted that any new decision to add a citizenship question to the Census would be subject to judicial review.”  There is simply no lie too big, small or blatantly disprovable for these political feces-flinging monkeys to hurl at us. 

Previously unreleased photo of Barr’s swearing in at ceremony

Perhaps Barr had his bloated head too far up his own or his boss’s ass to have heard Chrump’s own response to a reporter’s question on the possibility of issuing an executive order.  To quote the executive orderer himself, “We’re thinking about doing that.  It’s one of the ways; we have four or five ways we can do it.  It’s one of the ways that we’re thinking about doing it very seriously.  We could also add an addition on so we can start the printing now and maybe do an addendum after we get a positive decision. So we’re working on a lot of things, including an executive order.”  Case closed.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thought For The Day

Unusually Cruel and Punishing Presidency

July 11, 2019

The Constitution guarantees against cruel and unusual punishment, but leaves the door wide open for a cruel and unusual president.

This man belongs in a home, not the People’s House

Special Bonus Thought

Der Furor is now claiming he was dating ex-Playboy Playmate Karen MacDougal for the articles.  And he was dating Stormy Daniels so she would spank him with the articles.

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William of Orange

Billy Barr, the Boor

July 9, 2019

Chrump’s long sought-after Roy Cohn, William "Low" Barr should be choking on his words more than he is, but I guess if you are willing to work for Donald Chrump rather than for the American people – as Barr’s job description would suggest – you are more than ready to fuck the country at every turn.

Words to Choke On

Barr previously said he had no problem with Robert Mueller testifying to Congress about the report he submitted.  That all changed once Mueller was subpoenaed and is now due to testify on July 17.  Now that Mueller is scheduled to voice aspects of his report in public, under oath, Barr has been changing his diaper on an almost hourly basis – or so we are saying.

Barr, with malice of forethought, lied about what the Mueller report concluded.  He delayed releasing even a redacted version of the report in order to keep his fabricated version in the public’s mind as long as possible so as to weaken the impact of Mueller’s actual words once they fought their way to the surface.

"Besides, as the vilest Writer has his Readers, so the greatest Liar has his Believers; and it often happens, that if a Lie be believ’d only for an Hour, it has done its Work, and there is no farther occasion for it. Falsehood flies, and the Truth comes limping after it; so that when Men come to be undeceiv’d, it is too late; the Jest is over, and the Tale has had its Effect…"

                                                                           Jonathan Swift, 1710

To make matters more despicable, Barr told reporters what he thought about Mueller testifying on Capitol Hill, “To me the only reason for doing that is to create some kind of public spectacle and if Bob decides that he doesn’t want to be subject to that then the Department of Justice would certainly back him.”  It is always comforting to know that the U.S. Attorney General thinks subpoenas can simply be ignored.  Now, I am not a lawyer, but that sounds strikingly like some form of witness tampering.

Sex Traffic Jam

Meanwhile, it looks like Barr will have to recuse himself from any legal wranglings involving Jeffrey Epstein, who currently stands accused of sex trafficing with minors.  Epstein got a shout-out back in 2002 from a fellow player: “I’ve known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy.  He’s a lot of fun to be with.  It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it – Jeffrey enjoys his social life.”  That not-so-faint praise came from some guy named Donald Trump, who now denies he had any relationship with this terrific guy. 

One reason Barr may be recusing himself could be the fact that his father hired Epstein – before he was a billionaire, but not necessarily before he was a pedophile – to teach high school.  Epstein was not even a college graduate, and one year later, Barr the Elder resigned from his job as the school district brought in, according “an outside committee to study the school and to assess its operation under Mr. Barr.”  Shortly after that, Epstein left his “teaching” position and went to Wall Street.

The current Labor Secretary Alex Acosta aided and abetted Epstein’s escape from justice on similar charges in 2008 when Acosta was U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of Florida, where Epstein was terrorizing young women at the time.

Are these the best fucking people or what?

I. Mangrey reporting.  Tell me why.

Double Thought For The Day

The RepubliCo Party

July 7, 2019

Republican’ts are running into some resistance – though not from five Supreme Court Justices – in their quest to eliminate non-white voting.  It is undisputed fact that Republican’ts have despised electoral politics since the Emancipation Proclamation, and perhaps more so since women were finally granted the right to vote.  Female suffrage was particularly problematic since many women are white, which makes disenfranchising them much more challenging – hence the brutal redistricting and attempts to weaponize the Constitutionally mandated and protected Census.  To co-opt a phrase – By any means necessary.

Whether gerrymandering or illegally rigging the Census, Republican’ts have been plying this theme since the end of the Civil War…and of course, when the Republican’ts were the Democrats – before the Civil War.  Don’t be surprised when they announce they are considering another way to weight the system in favor of white people.  Republican’ts are working on language that will allow the Supreme Court to sanction having the votes of non-whites count as 3/5 of a vote.  What the heck, it was good enough for our Founding Fathers.

Our reporting has also uncovered plans by RepubliCo to allow corporations (like RepubliCo itself) to vote as people.  The idea is to find a way to provide more votes for larger corporations and somewhat fewer for smaller ones.  Kind of like, from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs – only upside down and backwards.

This Just In(sane)

Not many people knew the real story of how the Revolutionary War ended, until they heard the real story during Donald Chrump’s Super Ego Military (oh yeah, and Fourth of July) Extravaganza brought to you involuntarily by your very own tax dollars.  The historically challenged (and I mean that in every way possible) Chrump told the nation that George Washington achieved final victory in the Revolutionary War of 1812 because his “army manned the air, it ran the ramparts, it took over the airports, it did everything it had to do.”  Once victory was achieved, the Continental Army landed on the moon and claimed America for white people.

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Tanks Alot

Bend Over America, and Get Ready For…

Donald’s Very, Very, Very Big Fourth of July
Excruciating Ego Extravaganza

 

 

July 4, 2019

“There is nothing more frightening than ignorance in action.” – Goethe

“There is nothing more frightening than ignorance in power.” – Ed Venture

Il Douche continues his abominable pseudo-presidency – smooching with Putin, cuddling with Kim, and practically blowing bin Salman.  Chrump is clearly more comfortable with America’s adversaries than with our friends, and more competent with stagecraft than statecraft.

While on his all-expenses-paid family junket to the G20, Chrump tweeted himself into a dream date with boyfriend Kim Jong Un.  While most pundits are saying that Chrump is poised to completely cave on nuclear disarmament of North Korea, he continues to claim that he is making a great deal with the man he loves – no, not Putin, the other one.  Chrump’s impromptu tryst with Kim, which surprised everyone including his own people, was nothing more than a PR stunt meant to take the focus away from the newly headline-grabbing Democratic primary, and drag it back onto himself.  Chrump’s historic histrionic butthead-a-butthead is sure to go down as ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Tanks For The Memories

In service to co-opting the Fourth of July for his own amusement, Chrump is willing to screw the troops, by making them do grunt work on July 4^th.  Military brass is only reluctantly following the orders of their Mad King.  Chrump is blithely willing to risk the streets of Washington, DC and the Arlington Memorial Bridge in order to impress his private party.  Der Furor is closing off the Lincoln Memorial and half of the Reflecting Pool and is planning to give an illegal campaign speech to amuse his donors and other Chrumpian ne’er-do-wells – with his long-dreamed-of military parade.  Chrump’s latest folly boasts (literally) military jet fly-overs and a parade of dozens of tanks weighing over 60 tons, which may be more than the Capital’s infrastructure can handle.  It makes sense though, that a loose cannon would want a bunch of tanks and military aircraft wasting taxpayer dollars to massage his enormous, ever-expanding ego.

Prize-winning sand sculpture – Liberty Crumbling by Damon Langlois

According to reports, Donald’s Very, Very, Very Big Fourth of July Excruciating Ego Extravaganza will be wasting $2.5M of National Park Service money that was meant for park improvements.  I guess for someone who has never seen a national park he didn’t want to turn into a golf course, and who repeatedly ran like a scared little girl from the military claiming brain spurs, or whatever, when it was his time to serve his country.  If Chrump had even one patriotic bone spur in his body and a fraction of the money he claims to have, he would foot the bill for this military masturbation himself.

Will millions of dollars worth of tanks end up in the drink under the Arlington Memorial Bridge?  Will military jets accidentally deploy missiles or crash into each other over the skies of Washington, DC, killing and/or maiming hundreds of Chrump’s closest donors?  Will the Orange Grinch who stole the Fourth of July be mercilessly booed as he gives his latest campaign speech on the National Mall?  In the impertinent words of Donald J. Chrump, “We’ll find out.”

Louis XIV is alleged to have said, “The State is me.”  Donald Chrump would never make such a statement.  He has no awareness of anything like a State and he could never utter such a coherent, however demented, statement.  Chrump’s actions on the other hand, are unabashedly transparent.  There is no State, there is only himself.

Mere words cannot describe my longing to forget he ever existed, let alone his having eviscerated all common decency, social and political decorum, and Constitutional norms in his pathetic, perverted quest for undivided, unending, however enormously undeserved attention. 

We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when

I. Mangrey reporting.  Why don’t we do it in the road?  Because it was destroyed by tanks that’s why.                                                                                                    

                                                                                          

An Open Letter to a Closed “Mind”

July 1, 2019

“Dear” Mr. Chrump,

I hope you can take a few moments out of planning your, self-congratulatory (kissing your own ass) military display/private party, disrespecting and disgracing our nation’s birthday (It is being renamed for now – the Fourth of You Lie, in your honor.), to have someone read this letter to you.  It is admittedly comforting to have you kissing your own ass for a change, especially after your recent marathon ass-kissing extravaganza of murderous thugs Putin, Kim and bin Salman while you were overseas.  I know you are jealous of them since you are not permitted to murder those who oppose you, and that has to be hard on such an insecure little man like yourself.  I know you still believe you could shoot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue and not lose any support.  You are probably right.  If only you had the guts to try it.

I will try to keep this brief (short) because I know you do not like, or possibly even know how to, read.  I will try to keep you interested by using pictures as well.  And, to make it even more likely you will not be frightened (scared) by seeing words, it will be written in crayon.  I thought about making it ALL CAPS, but that’s your schtick.

Everyone, including you, knows that to you (Donald Chrump) the most important thing in the world (the big round thing you’re trying to burn up), perhaps even more than money, is television ratings.  And crowd size.  And an almost fanatical devotion to yourself.  Okay, so some people will say that’s three things, but only those fake, liberal, losers who can count.  Anyway, there is one surefire way for you to be seen by the largest audience in the history of audiences.  And I am not talking about just in America (the country you live in, but really, really hate).  The whole world (all those people who are not you, including all those shithole countries) will be watching.

I personally guarantee that your impeachment (the “I” word) hearings will be watched all over the world.  Think of the bragging rights.  Think of the ratings. 

After your big impeachment show series finale, you can have a super great new reality show.  You deserve it.  Bigly.  To save you the trouble of coming up with an original (new) idea – something you are incapable of – the good people here at Paying Attention (you can tell they’re good because they despise every little thing about you) have something special prepared.  It will be necessary to keep you off the streets once your fake presidency comes crashing down around you, and your name is spoken only in filthy shadows and in the confines of militia compounds.

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to shut the fuck up, but you can check out your new show here.

Very, very truly not yours,

I. Mangrey

Thought For The Day

 

The Soundness of Silence

June 28, 2019

If you are not a fan of women’s soccer, you might want to reconsider.  Megan Rapinoe co-captains the U.S. Women’s soccer team.  Rapinoe – a long-time outspoken advocate for equal pay, LGBTQ rights and social justice in general – has been standing in silence during the playing of the National Anthem before this year’s World Cup games.  She had been kneeling in solidarity with Colin Kaepernick and others since 2016 when she became the first white athlete to take a knee.  Now, U.S. Soccer now requires players to stand.  

The man pretending (very badly) to be president naturally had to weigh in from his toilet.  At this point, the question on most Americans’ minds is, “Does he wipe himself after he finishes tweeting, or does he have someone do it for him?  Is is always Ivanka, or does every acting cabinet member have to take turns?” 

Despite Der Furor’s faux outrage, Rapinoe refused to back down when asked if she would go to the White House if the team won the Cup and was invited…

Well played as usual Ms. Rapinoe

Sorry Megan, I guess you are not Chrump’s type.  No rape for you! 

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Thought For The Day

 

White Like He

June 24, 2019

June 19, 1865, known as Juneteenth, was the day that African Americans in Texas finally became the last ones to learn that the Civil War had ended and so had slavery in America, two and a half years after Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation, which had become official January 1, 1863.

On June 18^th, the day before the 154^th anniversary of Juneteenth and the impending Congressional hearing on reparations for slavery, Mitch McConnell responded to a reporter’s question about reparations.  McConnell, one of the whitest people on Earth – not known as a racist, but not exactly pro-civil rights – replied, “I don't think reparations for something that happened 150 years ago when none of us currently living are responsible is a good idea.  We've tried to deal with our original sin of slavery by fighting a civil war, by passing landmark civil rights legislation.  We've elected an African American president.”  What do you mean “we” white man?  You did everything possible to suffocate and destroy the presidency of our African American president – including stealing one of his Supreme Court nominations – you piece of shit.

Mitch McConnell, who has clearly never made a fist before, celebrates White Power

Who cares if the thing that “happened 150 years ago” lasted for over 250 years, and when it officially ended, was followed by another 100 years of brutal repression, murder and legally and socially sanctioned humiliation?  Thankfully, all of that is over…except for the insanely lopsided incarceration, the frequent murders at the hands of police and the explosion of public displays of racism thanks to the racist 45^th president’s welcoming presence.  Fuck you very much Mitch.

McConnell (left), not exactly looking unhappy about posing with Stars and Bars

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Climate Crisis Crisis

Looking For Intelligent Life on Earth

June 21, 2019, Summer Solstice

I hate to dredge up the distant past, in fact, I am loathe to dredge up or even look at just about anything these days – including the future – for fear that Chrump will lumber into the picture.  However, if I hope to have anything to say here at chez Paying Attention, I must keep my eyes peeled, my ears to the ground and my nose to the grindstone.

I. Mangrey, hard at work

Drool, Baby Drool

Long, long ago, in June of 2017, Chrump hosted a group of Native American tribal leaders at the White House and urged them to ignore federal laws forbidding them to drill on tribal land and “just do it,” referring to extracting whatever they want from the land they control.

The chiefs explained to Chrump that there were regulatory barriers preventing them from doing what Chrump was advising.  The Criminal-in-chief replied, “But now it’s me.  The government’s different now. Obama’s gone; and we’re doing things differently here.”

According to a reporter on the scene, the tribal leaders were taken aback, looked at each other, and seemed uncertain about how to proceed.  This confused the tiny-brained president who turned to one of the tribal leaders saying, “Chief, chief, what are they going to do? Once you get it out of the ground are they going to make you put it back in there? I mean, once it’s out of the ground it can’t go back in there. You’ve just got to do it. I’m telling you, chief, you’ve just got to do it.”

For those of you keeping score, that was the so-called President of the United States blithely telling people to break the law.  Not the first time and not the last.

The Native American leaders still weren’t sure whether the president was serious.  After all, Native Americans should always be skeptical of American presidents.  Chrump reiterated his suggestion to engage in criminal activity.  “Guys, I feel like you’re not hearing me right now.  We’ve just got to do it. I feel like we’ve got no choice; other countries are just doing it.  China is not asking questions about all of this stuff. They’re just doing it. And guys, we’ve just got to do it.”  There was no report any of the chiefs saying, “What do you mean we, white man?”

The Beating Goes On

But that was a long time ago.  With Chrump in the White House, I feel like I know now what dog years are like.  Here are a few environmental tidbits in honor of the Summer Solstice – the beginning of the shortening of daylight, and in horror of the beginning of a whole different level of darkness, the Chrump administration’s ongoing efforts to end human life on Earth.

During his fake re-launch of the campaign-that-never-ended, Donald Chrump told his reality-averse audience, “Our air and water are the cleanest they’ve ever been by far.”  That of course, is what is known in the business as horseshit.  Pure. Unadulterated. Transparent. Soul-crushing. Horse. Shit.  As it turns out, according to the American Lung Association, things have gotten measurably worse in the last two years (after years of improvement during Obama's tenure), since the Toxic Orange Gas Cloud began enveloping Washington, DC and all of planet Earth.  Four-in-ten Americans are now breathing unsafe air, as the Chrump administration rolls back environmental rules and regulations – 83 so far.

Twenty-nine experts who comprise the European Academies'Science Advisory Council (EASAC) have reported what most of us already know: climate crisis not only poses major threats to human health in the future, its effects are already here.  Their latest report explains that our accelerating climate crises is already creating global problems by spreading infectious diseases and exacerbating mental health problems.  I am happy to say that I am not suffering from an infectious disease due to climate crisis.  My attorney has advised me not to talk about my mental health.  The council’s report stated, “Climate change is already contributing to the burden of disease and premature mortality.  Without prompt and effective action, the problems are forecast to worsen considerably.”  

Cooooooooooooooooooooooooal

Chrump’s Environmental Prevention Agency, always ready to do their part on the climate front, recently paved the way for states to set theirown carbon emissions standards for coal-fired power plants.  One could excuse a brainless sociopath like Chrump for not knowing that air and water do not obey state boundaries.  However, one would like to expect more from the EPA, which acknowledges that this change could result in 1,400 more premature deaths by 2030 than the Obama-era plan it will replace.  Someone should remind the addled Chrump that he has a young son who, no matter how much money he inherits (probably not very much by the time his old man drops dead of a fast food overdose), he still has to breathe the same air as everyone else, though I am sure he will look fetching in his gold-plated gas mask. 

Further efforts to support climate crisis acceleration found the White House blocking a State Department intelligence agency from submitting testimony to the House Intel Committee stating that climate change is “possibly catastrophic.”  This gives further credence – as if this was needed – to the scientifically proven fact that Donald Chrump is “unquestionably catastrophic.”

Hermit crab frolicking on garbage-laden remote beach in its new plastic “shell”

Chrump’s Department of Energy recently put out a press release authorizing new natural gas exports.  The release referred to the gas as “freedom gas.”  In the press release Steven Winberg, who serves as the Assistant Secretary for Fossil Energy, additionally characterized the gas as "molecules of freedom."  Now it seems that freedom is just another word for nothing left at all.

But Wait, There’s More…

And, in a somewhat related matter, Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao (Mrs. Bitch McConnell) has kept shares in Vulcan Materials, “the country’s largest supplier of the crushed stone, sand and gravel used in road-paving and building” more than a year after promising to divest, collecting more than $40,000 in investment gains along the way, according to the Wall Street Journal.  Not many people know this, but roads are often used for transportation.   

Speaking of more, there will probably be another dozen or so stories like these by the time I finish writing this…there always are, and even more by the time you see this.  Just sayin’.

Finally, Some Good News

There are still some in government with functioning hearts and minds.  Not obvious, but true.  These almost mythical creatures attempting to put the brakes on Chrump Change.  More than a dozen states are pushing theirown bills to wean electricity systems off fossil fuels. Also, there is an ever-growing list of cities that have vowed to kick their fossil-fuel addiction.  Ryan Fitzpatrick, deputy director of the clean energy Program at the think tank Third Way said, “We couldn’t update our maps fast enough.  These states know that net zero emissions by 2050 is the goal, and there’s no time to waste. So they’re taking a minute to celebrate, then asking, ‘what’s next?’”  If they do not hurry up, what’s next will be ‘duck and cover.’



I. Mangrey reporting.