Thought For The Day – A Real Cut-up

Too Cruel For Pool

August 4, 2026

Deathbed Donny insisted that vandals – in particular a 67-year-old former Olympian David Hearn who was indicted by the Department of Justice-for-Trump – slashed a 295 or 300 or 350-foot gash in the brand-new, allegedly-indestructible algae-encouraging Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Puss Pool coating, badly applied and subsequently rumbled over by Donny’s caravan (because what president, or anyone else for that matter, wouldn’t want to drive a bunch of cars through the Reflecting Pool for no fucking reason).

If vandals could in fact be blamed, they were not radical left, boxcutter-wielding lunatics as some suggested. It certainly could have been a bunch of yahoos caught flagrantly driving a motorcade across the freshly painted and sealed landmark.

A caravan of cretins, lead by none other than Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump
drove across the newly renovated Reflecting Pool before it was refilled with
what would quickly become a massive algae bloom and total embarrassment

It turns out, as just about everyone knew, that the crappy contractors hired via illegal no-bid contract – originally touted as a one-to-two-million dollar job, which suddenly ballooned to sixteen million (no doubt replete with a massive kickback to Trump) – did a typical Trumpian shitty job, which almost immediately fell apart because of said shitty job.

Even Donny’s old pal and current U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia Jeanine Pirro had to admit it was not vandals and that all the evidence pointed to the fact that Trump’s shitty contractor did a shitty job and had to drop all charges against Hearn.

The main thing I can’t understand is, since Deadbeat Don assured everyone, on live television, that this amazing, very strong and powerful pool coating could not be cut by any blade with the possible exception of Excalibur or perhaps Anduril, or maybe bashed into submission with Thor’s Hammer, why didn’t he blame the destruction of his stupid pool liner on Jewish Space Lasers? That would have made much more sense.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.