Those Who Don't Celebrate History Are Doomed To Regret It
August 8, 2026
As always, Paying Attention™ suspends our
regular coverage of the day's freakish follies, ferocious fucknuttery and
festering fascism to celebrate one of the truly unique moments (36 hours,
actually) in American history. These days, there is much to cover every single
day as we find ourselves in another uniquely perilous phase of our nation's
fragile, and currently failing maturation.
The 34-time convicted felon, pedophile-adjacent,
credibly-accused rapist and seditious dictatorial dipshit who ran on getting
revenge, and the biggest boatload of hatred, bigotry and lies, finagled his way
back into the White House (which he is physically and figuratively destroying).
He remains determined to put a stop to the Grand Experiment that has been
American democracy. It was never perfect, not even close, but it hoped to pave
the way for something better. A more perfect union, if you will. Nonetheless,
we hope you have some free time to celebrate this momentous holiday that begins
this evening.
There is so much shit hitting so many fans so
often that we almost didn’t realize Resignation Day(s) season was upon us.
We’ve barely had the time to sleep or feed ourselves since the sniveling
shithead Trump got re-elected, let alone to put up our Resignation Day(s)
decorations. Nonetheless, we must at least post something to honor this very
special holiday.
Despite our continued obsession with Tricky
Dick, Nixon seems so quaint now. Sure, he was a narcissistic, vengeful,
paranoid drunk, but he was not a fascistic psychopath bent on the destruction
of democracy, America, the environment and civilization in general. Okay, maybe
a little. But Nixon was at least part mammal. The new guy is unable to access
anything other than his lizard brain, and even that has shriveled to the size
and utility of a deer tick.
In the meantime, we leave you in the capable
hands of us from last year. From everyone here at Paying Attention™, Happy Resignation Day(s).
Told you so
Circa August 8, 2025
The Day The Drove Old Dicky
Down
The favorite holiday of
everyone here at Paying Attention™ is upon us once again. Sure, many people
prefer July Fourth, or Juneteenth, or Festivus, or some of the older, more
mainstream holidays, but Resignation Day(s) have long held a special place for
everyone here since that fateful night, August 8, 1974. We were enjoying a
pleasant evening in the Philadelphia suburbs watching the great Bonnie Raitt
perform at the Ambler campus of Temple University. A little after nine o’clock,
Bonnie stopped the show to announce that the war criminal, lying crook,
anti-Semite, and all-around vengeful, paranoid malefactor Dick Nixon had
announced that he would be resigning as of noon the very next day. As a great
cheer went up from the audience, Raitt played Auld Lang Syne and then finished
her planned set. We went home afterwards and celebrated in style. Oh, frabjous
day! Callooh! Callay!
Dick Nixon’s idiot henchmen got
caught breaking into the Watergate offices of the DNC by security guard Frank
Wills, whose life was ruined because he did his job by reporting the break-in. Nearly
47 years later, Donald Trump’s idiot henchmen got caught – though they made no
attempt to hide anything – breaking into the Capitol to shit on the walls and
on democracy itself. It did not take a security guard to uncover this break-in.
Trump’s malignant minions were caught in the act by everyone watching the whole
thing on live tv, though it did take a Capitol policeman, Eugene Goodman
(another Black man) to lure a sub-mob of Trump’s minions away from lawmakers
they very well might have harmed or killed in their seditious frenzy. And they
were, and many still are proud of it. These people need a nice quiet room with
rubber walls, but instead got a full pardon from their leader/inciter and
commander-in-thief Donald Trump.
Back To The Present
Returning to the present, many
in the Fascist/Trump/Epstein Party are pulling out all the stops to shanghai
the coming November midterms, which seem poised to slam on the brakes of
Trump’s abyss-bound train.
Can Things Possibly Get Any
Verse?
As we have most years since
2008 when a wonderful poem was rescued from obscurity, we present those now
famous stanzas with new verses being added most years.
Here is the original long-lost
text as presented in 2008…
We stumbled across a bit of
this very old, well-known verse that I thought would be fun to share with
everyone at this special time of year. It’s an age-old seasonal ditty and this being
my favorite American holiday and all.
I’m not sure I remembered all of the words correctly but I’ve rendered
them to the best of my recollection, and I may have been overzealous and
inadvertently added a few verses that didn’t exist at all. But it’s full of holiday magic and joy – a
favorite of children and adults throughout the ages, so read it to your
children and grandchildren to keep the tradition alive. Now without further ado, in honor of August
8-9, 1974, a moment in history, which our Founders would surely have savoured, We
bring you…
‘Twas the night before Resignation
‘Twas the night before Resignation, when all
through the house
Richard Nixon was cornered, like a trapped diseased mouse.
His burglars had screwed it tho they burgled with care,
His cover-up in ruins, soon the end would be there.
The Congress were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of impeachment danced in their heads.
Sam Irvin with his gavel, exposed all the crap,
And roused our democracy from a long winter’s nap.
So all o’er the land there arose such a clatter,
Even the public could see what was the matter.
And there it was every day on TV like a flash,
Then everyone knew the president was trash.
It was hard to imagine this crook being regal
Tho he said, “If the president does it then it is not illegal.”
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But his lies all exposed and the end of his career.
A great day for democracy, it happened so quick,
What could be worse than that horrid old Dick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And all those were sentenced and each one by name!
"Now Haldeman! now, Erlichman! now, Mitchell and
Dean!
On, Colson! On, Liddy!, oh my what a scene!
They all came a tumbling from the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
August 9, 1974 reimagined: Two
great tastes that taste great together:
Nixon’s very victorious shameful resignation and
Bush’s equally iconic/ironic MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We hope this helps get you in
the holiday spirit. Keep the party going while there remains any glimmer of
hope for the future. All the aforementioned crises are not going away any time
soon. But we can take these two days to reflect on the past, try to block out
the present if only for a day or so, and duct tape our fingers crossed for the
future.
In the meantime, enjoy Day One,
but be sure to get some rest. You’ll need all your strength to get through
Resignation Day(s) Two.
Ed Venture
Unmanageable Editor
No comments:
Post a Comment