Schmuck Of The Day – The One And Only

When You Lie Down With Liars, You Wake Up With Lies

December 18, 2025

I try to keep up with the brain-damaging and soul-gnashing news (above) so you don’t have to. Last night I tuned into the “speech” Der Furor gave from the Remains of the White House. It was the most lie-filled screed since the last time he opened his face sphincter. While he did manage to keep his eyes open the entire time, his handlers clearly overshot the mark a bit on his meds. Trump was lucky Hegseth was busy getting his drunk on in his make-up suite at the Pentagon or he might have mistaken POTUS for a Venezuelan fishing boat. Actually, Donny Druglord probably had more drugs in him than most of the tiny boats his minions have blown up recently. Trump did not literally fling his feces at the camera, but he certainly resembled an angry primate acting out for being caged up for the public’s amusement.

I did not see the very beginning of Trump’s drug-fueled fib fest, but about 10 seconds after I turned on the sound, not more than a minute or so in, I heard this lying-sack-of-shit, criminal psychopath emit the words “they released a level of violent felons that we had never seen to prey on innocent* they cause war, they caused mayum…” That’s when I bailed out. I had to change the channel before my head exploded.

This demented shithead, immediately upon taking office in January 2025 freed every single guilty-in-a-court-of-law insurrectionist – all of them, some of them having committed violence in support of Trump, some of them apparently criminally insane, and some of them immediately re-arrested for new horrific crimes – regardless of how violent a part they played in the attempted coup.

And speaking of causing war and “mayum”, neither Obama or Biden ever threatened to invade Panama, Greenland, Canada, Mexico or Venezuela. So, with all due respect – which is to say absolutely none – go fuck yourself, sir. Please.

Dear Donald:

Guess what asshole, you can yell at us all you want. No one is buying the overpriced, undelivered shit anymore. Even some of your supporters/hostages called your pathetic attempt to gaslight us into believing the disaster you’re creating is you doing a great job a “political nothingburger” and “Perhaps the most pointless primetime presidential address ever delivered in American history.” Most Americans are on to you and we are sick nearly to death of your lies, your hate and let’s be honest, that stupid fucking cotton candy you keep trying to pass off as “hair”.

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*This was clearly the middle of a sentence that just never got completed because his damaged brain glitch ed out. It was amazing he had gotten that far without falling asleep, probably because they had him standing up to keep him awake. It’s only a matter of time before he nods off while on his feet and a team of big strong men, tears in their eyes, hoist his crumpled mass to its feet, chanting “Sir, sir, sir, wake up sir. You were giving a speech.”
 

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Schmuck on!