Ticked Off

Correction/Apology 

December 16, 2025

While writing my pre-emptive obituary for the sniveling shitbag Donald Trump, I spent a bit of time racking my brain for an animal that would serve as a metaphor for the senseless, vile, grotesque and purposeless monster who attacked the recently murdered-under-the-most-tragic-of-circumstances Rob Reiner.

First I thought ‘pig’, but pigs are very smart. Then I thought ‘rat’ but rats too are smart and when not radicalized by filthy city environments make good pets. There’s no way Trump could survive a maze that any rat worth its tail could navigate for a snack. Next, ‘snake’, but snake are part of the food chain and generally don’t bother anyone unless threatened.

I finally settled on ‘tick’. But, as I thought about this after the fact, I realized that as dangerous and seemingly unnecessary ticks might seem, any damage they do is to a single person. If that person gets sick, or even worse, that ends the chain of events.

Donald Trump, by all accounts is responsible for the deaths of tens-of-thousands of Americans thanks to his gross mishandling of the COVID-19 pandemic, and is currently murdering untold numbers of desperate and starving people across the globe who depended upon the USAID program for food and medicines until Trump, Musk, et al decided not only to cut of all this desperately needed aid, but incinerated millions of dollars of supplies already warehoused and just waiting to be distributed. Who the fuck does that? Not a tick, I can tell you that.

So, as much as I fear and despise ticks, it was irresponsible of me to even mention them in the same breath as Donald Fucking Trump. It will not happen again…unless maybe I get Lyme Disease. But for now, there is simply nothing vile enough to compare to Trump.

And By The Way

Rob Reiner had this to say after the assassination of the hateful talking head Charlie Kirk

“Absolute horror and I unfortunately saw the video of it. It’s beyond belief what happened to him. That should never happen to anybody. I don’t care what your political beliefs are. That’s not acceptable. That’s not a solution t o solving problems.”

Rob Reiner was, by all accounts except that of the human poop emoji Trump, a mensch.

And By The Other Way

Dear Donald:

Because he had the good sense and decency to tell everyone how dangerous and despicable you are, you accused Rob Reiner of suffering from Trump Derangement Syndrome. Take a tip from the great Inigo Montoya

Ed Venture
Managing Editor