Fifty Years On

Fear and Loathing in The Land of The ‘Fraid, Home of Depraved

June 6, 2018

The last thing we want to do here at Paying Attention is to get serious, but desperate times call for depressing measures.  In those few moments when we do get serious here, we hand things over to our benefactor and unwitting overlord Steve Gallop.  A humorless and merciless observer of politics and humanity, Steve has set the basic tone for what you see here on a regular basis.  We felt the need to hand the reins over for some serious bizness. 

The Beginning of The End

It was 50 years ago today that saw what I still feel was one of the most significant crossroads in American history.  As is so often the case, that moment was the consequence of gunshots and a bloody death.

On June 5, 1968 Robert F. Kennedy was assassinated immediately after winning the California primary, and very likely on his way to the Democratic nomination to run against Richard Nixon.  He was laid to rest 50 years ago today.  Bobby Kennedy, from what I can tell, was the real deal.  By the time he decided to run for president, he had moved himself to the right side of history.  He would have taken this country, or tried to at least, in a more honorable, more egalitarian and less war-based direction.  Kennedy brought positivity, empathy and hope in the face of the Vietnam War, the civil rights movement –punctuated barely a month earlier by the assassination of Martin Luther King – and of course, the still lingering shock resulting from his own brother’s assassination just a few years earlier.

No one is perfect, and Bobby Kennedy surely had his skeletons, but he truly seemed to have evolved leading up to his tragically shortened run for the White House.  He supported civil rights, workers’ rights and peace in Vietnam.  His death left the Democrats with the milquetoast Hubert Humphrey, and ultimately, the nation with the depraved, hateful and paranoid Richard Nixon. 

Obviously, no one knows what might have been, but everyone knows what actually has been.  Nixon changed the landscape forever.  He gave us Henry Kissinger, Watergate and Roger Ailes (the future head of Fox News and a man whose very name is a succinct statement of fact, if not warning).  Nixon and Ailes intensified and perfected political dirty tricks.  Nixon fucked himself and this nation with tremendous aplomb and severity. 

The road from RFK to today would have likely brought us to a very different place than the one we inhabit today.  We would have had 50 years of trying instead of festering.  And now, thanks to the current part-time occupant of the White House, backsliding faster and farther than anyone in their right mind could imagine, let alone tolerate.

 “A revolution is coming.  A revolution which will be peaceful if we are wise enough; compassionate if we care enough; successful if we are fortunate enough.  But a revolution which is coming whether we will it or not.  We can affect its character; we cannot alter its inevitability.”                                                Bobby Kennedy, May 1966

Obviously Kennedy was sadly mistaken about the last line in this quote.  If there ever was an inevitability to the revolution he saw, and was poised to have a hand in, that inevitability was shot to death the night of June 5, 1968, and laid to rest the following day.  Perhaps the unmitigated gall of the current administration will awaken the America that Bobby Kennedy saw off in the distance.  Perhaps, we are now poised to fulfill an entirely different destiny – the one imagined by people like John C. Calhoun, Joseph McCarthy, Jesse Helms, Strom Thurmond, George Wallace, Newt Gingrich, Dick Cheney, Grover Norquist, Roy Moore, Wayne LaPierre, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Joe Arpaio, Steve Bannon, Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, Mike Pence, Vladimir Putin and their fellow travelers.  I did not include Donald J. Trump in this list because he has no vision for America.  Only a vision for himself, for that is the only thing he can ever see when he looks anywhere.  Nonetheless, I suspect our answer will become known on November 7, 2018.

It takes an incredible amount of effort to move forward, to try to do the right thing to make positive change in a life, let alone in a society.  Bobby Kennedy had done the former, and was poised to give his best effort to do the latter.  But, it only takes a moment, the blink of an eye, the flash of a muzzle, the end of a life, to start a downward spiral that can last a lifetime or a century.

If you have ever talked politics with me, you know that I believe the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy was a watershed moment in American history that sent this country swirling down the drain into the cesspool that is now Donald J. Trump.  Yes, we have managed to come up for air for brief spates, just long enough to avoid brain death...so far. Donald Trump may be but a symptom, but so is angina.  Such symptoms, left untreated…well, you know.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled mayhem/merriment.

Steve Gallop
Concerned Citizen

Eagles Defeat Un-Patriots

Eagles v. Chrump

City of Brotherly Love
June 5, 2018

The Philadelphia Eagles, hot off their Super Bowl LII victory over the New England Patriots, have now handed a stunning, if unsurprising defeat to the Child-in-chief of the United States and renowned un-patriot, Donald J. Chrump.  Chrump, you may recall, has been obsessed with public displays of affection for symbols of our democracy.  Der Furor, as everyone is calling him, has no affection whatsoever for our – or any – democracy, as evidenced by his continuing demands for loyalty to him, and for the end of criminal investigations into his alleged (not really) crimes, and his attempts to dismantle the free press and the justice department. 

Reports are that half of the Eagles team decided not to attend any event with the least patriotic president in American history.  After Chrump realized that he was being shunned, he cancelled the event, instead holding a “celebration of the American flag” featuring the United States Marine Band and the United States Army Chorus performing the Star Spangled Banner – a song whose lyrics, like the words in the Constitution, are unknown to Donald Chrump.  A number of the Eagles were highly visible participants in the respectful exercise of First Amendment rights of peaceful protest during NFL games, though no Eagles knelt during the anthem during the 2017 season, while Chrump disgraces this nation on a daily basis.  It seems that Hair Chrump does not want anyone to kneel during the national anthem, but does want them to kneel before him.

Once the president had completed his morning thumb-and-bowel movements, White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Slanders gave a statement, “Unfortunately, the Eagles offered to send only a tiny handful of representatives, while making clear that the great majority of players would not attend the event, despite planning to be in D.C. today.  In other words, the vast majority of the Eagles team decided to abandon their fans.”  Speaking as a long time Eagles fan, and fairly recent foe of Sarah Slanders, I can say without fear of contradiction, that Slanders is a lying bag of hate with only one mentally unstable fan.  And, the Philadelphia Eagles remain beloved by their hometown millions, 90 percent of whom did not vote for, detest with every ounce of brotherly love in their bodies, and wish they had never heard of Slimy Sarah’s lone, loon of a fan.

In his defense, Mr. Chrump has no familiarity with any part of the Constitution other than the least significant, closing phrase of the Second Amendment, which, according to our sources, is repeated to Chrump each night by Sean Hannity before he nods off on the toilet.

First Amendment in action. Someone should read
and explain it to Chrump.

Philadelphia Mayor Jim Kenney said that he is “equally proud of the Eagles’ activism off the field” and that the players “represent the diversity of our nation — a nation in which we are free to express our opinions.  Disinviting them from the White House only proves that our President is not a true patriot, but a fragile egomaniac obsessed with crowd size and afraid of the embarrassment of throwing a party to which no one wants to attend.”

Kenney also said of the Child-in-chief, “I don't how you can make your case to a child who acts childish, who changes his opinion and his statements every single day and who, frankly, frightens me more than I was frightened in 1968 during the height of the Vietnam War.”

Maybe one day, after all his brain spurs wear off, Chrump will find it in his tiny little heart to PARDON the Eagles players for their intolerable adherence to the spirit and the letter of the Constitution and American democracy.

I. Mangrey bleeding green.  Go EAGLES.

Enhanced Legal Techniques, Part 1

Tortured Logic

June 4, 2018

The last Republican’t president brought in lawyers like John Yoo to find a way to pretend that torture was legal.  They tortured the language, rebranded war crimes, and came up with wonderful terms like enhanced interrogation to justify implementing techniques that our government previously prosecuted others for doing.  Waterboarding in particular was vilified by the United States in the past, but somehow was a preferred procedure under Bush/Cheney. 

Cheney recently crawled out from beneath his secret undisclosed rock to torture us once again, hissing that we should be proud of our horrendous past behavior.  The Dark Load shamelessly says we should resume torture and other war crimes, if only to enable the wraith Cheney to 1) look at himself in the mirror (whether or not there is any reflection), and 2) sleep at night (whether he does so in a normal bed or a coffin).

While the last Republican’t administration insisted that torture was lawful, the current one is now asserting that our laws are torture.  Many people are saying that the very essence of the Chrump administration is far worse than waterboarding, and our laws seem to have been relegated to the bargain bin at Borders Books.  Does Borders Books even exist anymore? 

Meanwhile, the media is tripping over its…let’s say tongue, to avoid calling Donald Chrump a liar. They say he deals in falsehoods, he is unsure of the facts, makes misstatements, and has a unique way with words – they are parsing; he is lying.  He says he is joking – he is not just lying, he is torturing the truth.  Reporters need to stop coddling Prezident Demented Cupie Doll and dispense some journalistic judo. 

The media might be interested to know that Chrump has lied more than 3,000 times in his first 500 days since he took the oath of office.  This lie count comes to 6.5 lies per day (up from 4.9/day over his first 100 days), but as has been noted previously here, out of those 500 days, he has only been “working” approximately 200 of those.  That brings the daily total closer to fifteen per day. And, considering the fact that a typical Chrump work day lasts about four or five hours, that is at least three lies per hour, or one lie every 20 minutes.  Most fact checkers – at least those who have not had to file for disability – did not count the fact that he lied while taking the oath of office…you know, when he swore to “preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”  Chrump lies more frequently than he breathes, and the lying clearly takes much less effort.

Chrump’s “lawyers,” some gone back into private malpractice, some still working for Chrump, insist that a sitting president cannot be touched by the laws of the land.  A 20 page letter (presumably with the best words), sent to Robert Mueller some time ago, included some enhanced legal arguments.  One such argument held that a sitting, or even a golfing president cannot be guilty of obstruction of justice.  I believe the idea is that this president cannot obstruct justice since he has no idea what justice is, but he is quite certain that whatever it is, it does not apply to him.  And who, in their right mind would argue with such a stable genius?

 

According to Chrump’s current spokesmodel, Rudy G Who Works For Free, “In no case can he be subpoenaed or indicted. I don’t know how you can indict while he’s in office. No matter what it is.  If he shot James Comey, he’d be impeached the next day.  Impeach him, and then you can do whatever you want to do to him.”  Can we quote you on that last part?

Rudy G: I hope he is smarter than he looks.
Spoiler Alert: He is not.

Rudy further blathered, “This is the reason you don't let the president testify.  Our recollection keeps changing, or we're not even asked a question and somebody makes an assumption.”  Is this guy actually awake when he talks on the television machine?

I. Mangrey repatriating.  They’re cuckoo for cocoa puffs…or something.

Chrump To Win Nobel Putz Prize

Two Equals on The World Stage

June 2, 2018

Donald Chrump recently met with Kim Kardashian in the Oval Office.  Why not?  She is an important figure in American political discourse.  Always has been.  And, she has (had?) her own show, which gets her to the top of Chrump’s busy golfing schedule.  She certainly is no less serious a political player than Chrump. 

Highly placed White House sources have told Paying Attention – under condition of non-existence – that Chrump thought she was actually Kim Jong Un.  After the meeting, Chrump spoke to no one in particular in the White House Rose Garden.

“I have just had a historic meeting with the leader of West Korea.  They said it would not happen.  Fake news.  Very fake news.  I also said it would not happen, but that was after and before I said it would happen.  I’ve said a lot of things.  I still have the best words and a very good brain.  Just ask me.  We had a very good talk.  And, I got it done under budget and ahead of schedule.  The fake news totally missed the whole thing.  Mostly I just shook my head and said yes.  Hey, this guy had his uncle killed by dogs.  Pretty impressive.  I may have to try this some time myself.  He’s a very strong leader.  I think he really likes me.  He said many nice things about me, so I said some very nice things about him.  Very nice.

The one smiling like an idiot thinks he’s about to win the Nobel Peace Prize

 

I know more about these things than all the experts.  And everyone agrees with me on this.  Kim was surprisingly friendly and he has really done much better with his hair.  Kim assured me that there are no more nuclear weapons in West Korea…or wherever he is.  And, anyway, who cares if they do?  Did I mention he said very nice things about me?  We are getting along very well, so I think it doesn’t matter anymore how many nukes they have.  After all, we have nukes why shouldn’t everyone have them.  It’s not like they’re dangerous.  I hesitate to say this, but he could really give Ivanka a run for her money.  And Ivanka has a lot of money – much more today than she did a year ago, which has nothing at all to do with me being president.  Believe me.  I am not making deals all over the world that have a very good effect on my companies that I have nothing whatsoever to do with while I’m running the country.  I could be doing both, but that wouldn’t look too good, although very soon I will not be giving a shit about that.  America will be doing so great, and Zombie Bob Mueller’s fake witch hunt will be over, and I will be doing whatever I want.  Then America will be really great, really, really great.  That I can tell you…and I will be even greater.”

The Prezident then wandered off across the lawn before being carried back the official residence and transferred into his robe in time to re-watch Fux and Friends before falling asleep on the toilet.

I. Mangrey recoiling.  It's a living. Not really. But I do it anyway.

Best Contraceptive Ever

Viagra Stocks Sagging

June 1, 2018

Chrump is having so many wonderful effects on America right now.  So much winning. So much tweeting.  So much painful rectal itching.  The man in the orange paint is inspiring all manner of interesting behaviors across America.  We have a massive spike in overt racist behavior.  More and more mass shootings.  America’s always tenuous relationship with the truth is now as tangible as Saddam Hussein’s WMD – which, though he did have a significant supply back in the 1990s, (sold to him by Donald Rumsfeld before he became George W. Bush’s offensive Secretary of Defense) were non-existent when Dick Cheney lied us into his illegal war on the basis of their existence.  Chrump’s prezidency, though somewhat less overtly bloody, is making Game of Thrones look like Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood.

Millions of Americans remain enraptured as they drift directionless in the sea of stupid that is submerging the swamp Chrump swore he would drain.  More and more Americans are working hard at being idiots by believing the perpetually lying sack of shit that is Donald J. Chrump.  According to a Huffington Post poll, 48 percent of Republican’ts said they believe that between three and five million people voted illegally in 2016, just like Der Furor told them; 17 percent said they do not and 35 percent.  Almost 25 percent of Democrats also believe Chrump’s absurd lie.

Sperm Shirk, Eggs Elude

Americans are doing more and more of less and less.  Those who ignore the news have a chance at the bliss of ignorance.  Those who are paying close attention spend most waking hours is shock and horror, then pray for dreamless sleep.  There is one particular activity that Americans are doing considerably less of under Chrump’s undyed eye. 

The birthrate for 2017 was at its lowest point in 30 years.  Many of you may be familiar with the term Baby Boom.  For those who are not, this refers to the huge spike in birth-giving between the end of World War II and the assassination of JFK (I’m looking at you Richard Nixon).  Certainly, the end of WWII was a time of intense joy and stress reduction across the globe, and this world wide sigh of relief led to a veritable free-for-all of sexy time, which resulted in a tsunami of what are commonly referred to as “babies.”  Now, those Baby Boomers make up some 20 percent of America’s population. 

Babies can sense imminent threats to their survival.
Many are now refusing to be conceived.

Baby Doomers

On the flip side, we have the “election,” inauguration, and subsequent descent into life under the tiny thumb of one Donald J. Chrump.  By now, you have surely deduced the connection between the onset of Chrumptopia and the preponderance of flaccid phalluses, clenched knees and incapacitating headaches plaguing the majority of Americans, and the resulting kibosh on kid-making. 

It is possible that Chrump has simply sickened people to the point that they cannot stand the sight of each other, or maybe the thought of Chrump having sex with porn stars and Playmates, sexually assaulting dozens of women, talking about dating his daughter, and just generally being Chrump has turned people off to sex for the foreseeable future. 

Chrump mistakes Rudy G for Ivanka back when he was seriously
considering dating at least one of them. (The video is much worse.)

 

The combination of no one ever being in the mood, and the sad though completely conscionable decision to spare a future generation, let’s call them Generation F**ked, from having to enter a world either still dealing directly with, or struggling to recover from, the devastation of World War Chrump, should keep the future Chrump-driven suffering to a relative minimum.  For once, misery is trying to avoid company.

I. Mangrey not reproducing.  Making the world safe for reality.                            

                                                                                               

Thought For The Day

May 31, 2018

Spotted this online poll last night:

For my money, they should have done it long before.  Thanks Ambien.

Burn Baby Burn

The Fiery Death at The End of The Tunnel

May 30, 2018

The British burned down Washington, DC during the War of 1812.  The Burning of Washington was and remained the only time since the American Revolutionary War that a foreign power had captured and occupied the United States capital.  That is, up until the Russians captured and occupied the White House in the person of Donald Chrump. 

Everything is under control in Chrump's Amerika.

 

Former Director of National Intelligence (2010-2017) James Clapper, who, to be fair, lied to Congress about illegal wiretapping of American citizens, during his tenure as DNI, believes that Russia “swung the election to a Trump win.”  Clapper, as DNI, was in a position to watch it happen in real time, and based on what he saw, claims to be certain that the Russians caused Chrump to be our Fake Prezident.  Turns out Clapper might not be the only one in a position to know what was going on.

Add to this former National Security Agency analyst John Schindler, who claims that American intelligence agencies have much more information connecting Chrump to the Kremlin than what they have told us.  Schindler says a senior NSA official told him that, by the time Chrump became the Republican’t nominee, “We knew we had a Russian agent on our hands.”  The NSA official stated that there were above-top-secret reports, which left no doubt that the Russians were subverting our democracy in 2016 – and that, “Trump and his kids knew what they were doing, and who they were doing it with.”

Der Furor, without telling anyone – not his advisors, not his cabinet, not our allies, not even Ivanka – cancelled his historic meeting with North Korea’s Kim Jong Un.  Sure, no one really believed this would ever happen, but it was fun to talk about at the water cooler.  John Bolton and Mike Pence both took turns sweet-talking Kim by threatening to vaporize him if he did not cooperate.  For some reason, Kim took offense at these insane threats, and lost his interest in meeting with his American counterpart.  Chrump first blamed China, and then cited Kim’s “tremendous anger and open hostility” for screwing everything up.  Naturally, Chrump had to look like he was breaking up with Kim, once he realized that Kim was breaking up with him.  As usual, two days later, when it became clear that Kim was acting less insane than Chrump by appearing to continue on the road to peace, Chrump reversed position again.  So it appears that the June 12^th summit is on.  Or not – there is still plenty of time – or not.

Lighting Up Some Hemp?

When he is not golfing or trying to start a nuclear war, Chrump is busy marinating the Constitution – if not the nation’s physical capital – in gasoline (despite skyrocketing prices thanks to his fuck-you-Obama decision to recklessly and unilaterally jettison the Iran nuclear deal, against the advice of just about everyone in the entire world), waiting for just the right moment to set it aflame.

Flaming asshole

 

I. Mangrey reporting. We are living in a tale, told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

Thought For The Day

May 28, 2018
Shouldn’t we try to get a better handle on natural intelligence before we start diddling with artificial intelligence?

What's your thought of the day?

A Craven New World

Two Pigs In a Pod

May 26, 2018

It has been reported, or possibly fabricated, that an off-the-books, secret meeting between Donald Chrump and Vladimir Putin recently took place at an undisclosed location.*  The picture below is the only known evidence of this historic mano-a-Chrumpo.  According to reputable albeit non-existent sources, Chrump embraced and sniffed his benefactor, to the obvious chagrin of Mr. Putin.  It is impossible to tell from the scant photographic evidence if any grinding was involved, but one is free to make up the facts as one sees fit in our brave new world. 

Mmmmmm, you smell just like Ivanka. But you’re much shorter.

It remains uncertain whether Putin’s translator actually relayed the words Chrump reportedly uttered.  “Vlad, you are my hero, that I can tell you.  How did you become such a strong leader, very strong.  So much stronger than any American leaders, except for Donald Chrump.  No one is stronger than Chrump.  Everyone knows that.  You already know that no one has been tougher on Russia than Chrump.  I’m hoping to keep myself in office as long as you have.  You’ve done an excellent job staying president, or whatever you call yourself.  You have the best elections, though I have the highest approval ratings of anyone, ever.  The fake media won’t tell anyone this, but I’m the most popular president in American history.  Most successful, most popular, smartest and the richest.  I don’t know if you know this, but I’m really rich.  Believe me.  But, I really like the way you handle the fake media.  Very strongly.  Very impressive.  If I wasn’t so obsessed with my daughter Ivanka, perhaps I’d be dating you.  I’m kidding, of course…or am I?  We’ll have to wait and see what happens.  One thing for sure, no collusion.  No collusion.  Not that I know of.  That I can tell you.”

Is it really collusion when Chrump and Russia have been working together for decades?   Every time we turn around, we learn of another Russian connection with the fake Chrump business empire, the Chrump campaign and the Chrump administration.  

I am just paying attention to all of this with my wife and our au-pair and I’d like to say how shocked I am that a pleasant and deadly presidential administration should be turned into an excuse for Russian propaganda of the shoddiest kind. What’s gone wrong with the world? I can’t even take a bath without six or seven Russians jumping in with me. They’re in my shirt cupboard, and Putin and Veselnitskaya are in the kitchen now eating my wife’s jam. Oh, they’re climbing up my legs. I can see them peeping out of my wife’s blouse. Why doesn’t Mr. Pompeo do something about it before it is too late. Ohhhh….God… 

_______________

*This might not be technically true, but we are well beyond that being a substantive issue.

But Wait, There’s More…There’s Always More

The latest entries into the Chrump Collusion Cotillion appear to be emissaries from Saudi Arabia and United Arab Emirates, who may not have, but most definitely did draw up and make a presentation describing a multi-million dollar plan to do exactly what the Russians were already doing – setting up fake social media accounts to help get Chrump “elected.”  This was a real team effort, except apparently, no one knew who else was on the team, with one sickly-orange-colored, malodorous pervert of an exception.  Just that one man…and one of his sons.  Just him, his son and probably his son-in-law.  And maybe his daughter.  God bless the United States on (sic) America. (Ivanka actually said this at the opening of the U.S. embassy in Jerusalem.  Kids say the darndest things.)

I. Mangrey recalculating.  Reality is rapidly becoming irrelevant.