Thought For The Day

The Hardest Working Man in No-Business

February 13, 2019

Not being, nor having ever been an executive, I have never been afforded any executive time.  If I was an executive, I would probably admit to having downtime, not needing to hide behind the Orwellian ‘executive time.’  Being a relatively normal human being, I readily admit that a good bit of my time is spent being less than optimally productive – as clearly evidenced by the very words you are now reading.

I suppose that if I were president of the United States, or merely pretending to be, I would want people to think that I was a very busy man, doing extremely president-y things for many hours a day, over many days of every week, with the possible exception of formal vacation time.  Especially if I had made a point of saying how hard I would work, how I would never leave the White House, and would certainly never waste precious presidential time (and millions upon millions of taxpayer dollars, not a few of which ended up in my own pockets) on a golf course.

Chrump, clearly pretending to be on the phone, presumably on a fake important call
related to the single piece of blank paper which was likely his reading for the week

If I was Donald Chrump, on the off chance that I did not die of shame, or of the knowledge that I spawned Don, Jr. and Eric, or the horrifying shock of seeing my own reflection in my gold-plated refrigerator, I suppose I would not hesitate to lie about how I spent the few days that I actually dedicated to doing the work of being president.  If I even had the slightest clue or interest in what that meant.

Say what!?  He is not even working hard cleaning up the mess he made.

One would think that Chrump’s people would at the very least find a way to make his schedule appear to be filled with events that seemed befitting a president.  Unfortunately for them we can see what fills his fitful hours because there are time stamps on every tweet he farts out. Chrump cannot tell the difference between working hard and hardly working. 

Whatever he is, I’m against it.

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Three Uneasy Pieces…

To Get Off My Chest, And Onto Yours

February 11, 2019

Money For Nothing

Many people, including a number of investigators, are wondering where all those millions of dollars for the Chrump carnage inauguration went.  More money was raised for poorly attended event, than for any other inauguration in recent memory. Over six million dollars went toward unused rooms in Chrump Tower.  As you may know, staying in a room at Chrump’s crappy hotels is much cheaper than not staying in a room at Chrump’s crappy hotels.  The reason for confusion is simple – each person in the very, very small crowd was paid large sums of money.  And in an amazing irony, Chrump had to sign non-disclosure agreements promising each and every not to divulge that they were present.

Someone should check the pockets of the Thief-in-chief.  This entire charade was, after all, nothing more than his latest con job aimed at lining the giant pockets of his ill-fitting pants.

Men In Blackface

To the surprise of few, it came to our attention that two top officials – the governor and attorney general – in the great state of Virginia, were discovered to have dabbled in dabbing on a bit of black shoe polish onto inappropriate parts of their bodies.  Not, mind you, that there are in truth any appropriate places on the human body to apply black (or any other color for that matter) shoe polish, but these poor slobs managed to slather it onto their very white faces.  Purposely.

The first of these to be exposed was the newly elected governor Ralph Northam, who had a picture of a man (possibly him) in blackface shoulder-to-shoulder with another (possibly him) in full KKK garb.  But that was way back in 1984 – not Orwell’s, but the real one.  As cries for his resignation rose from all quarters, Northam, who has by all accounts lived a completely non-racist-idiot life since that time, refused to step aside.  He continues to budge as of this writing.

Northam did apologize for being one of the poorly attired assholes (he was not sure which one) in the picture on his personal medical school yearbook page…at first.  The next day he decided, upon further reflection, that probably neither of the racist morons in the picture was him.  He said he must have confused this a different time when he was in blackface.  Whew, that was a close one.

Northam let loose with this during an interview with Gayle King on Sunday morning:

Gov. Ralph Northam: Well it has been a difficult week. And you know if you look at Virginia's history we are now at the 400 year anniversary, just 90 miles from here in 1619. The first indentured servants from Africa landed on our shores in Old Point Comfort what we call now Fort Monroe and while--

Gayle King: Also known as slavery.

Yeah, slavery, that’s the word he was not looking for.  Indentured servants?  Who does this idiot think he is, Ben Carson?  Oops, my bad, Carson never referred to slaves as indentured servants. Carson said during his first week as Secretary of Housing and Urban Dismemberment…

“That’s what America is about, a land of dreams and opportunity. There were other immigrants who came here in the bottom of slave ships, worked even longer, even harder for less. But they too had a dream that one day their sons, daughters, grandsons, granddaughters, great-grandsons, great-granddaughters, might pursue prosperity and happiness in this land.”

Best fcking people.  One cannot help but wonder – is Ben Carson in blackface?

It is the opinion of this reporter that Mr. Northam – a public, though not indentured, servant – should be required to remain in blackface until such time as he leaves office.  And he should apologize each and every day until that time…at least.

Man In Shitface

Not to be out-racist-ed, Donald Chrump, who is enamored of the genocidal racist Andrew Jackson, used some of his unending executive time to reiterate just what an unrepentant schmuck he is via his preferred method of “communication.”  Just as there is no good time to engage in blackface, there is no good time to parody Jackson’s Trail of Tears.  Not even by a man pretending to be president.

Chrump, consistently ignorant, abusive and shitty,
destroying America with his Trail of Smears

 

Wait, you ask, isn’t the guy in the White House a current racist and credibly accused of sexual assault by over a dozen women?  Democrats are panicked and demanding that all of their tainted colleagues step aside.  No one is calling on Chrump to take responsibility for anything.  It kind of makes you wonder.  It kind of makes me nauseous and crazy, and…

I. Mangrey reporting.  To see or not to see, that is the question.

Oh, and there’s this gem from Will Bunch at the Philadelphia Inquirer:

https://www.philly.com/opinion/commentary/jeff-bezos-national-enquirer-donald-trump-blackmail-saudi-arabia-20190210.html

Thought For The Day

What’s In a Lame?

February 9, 2019

Yesterday, serial adulterer, pornstar aficionado, admitted sexual assaulter and multiply-accused alleged rapist Donald Chrump went to the National Prayer Breakfast.  He was there to pretend piety in front of many seriously religious political and business leaders, many of whom are happily and hypocritically looking the other way since the most un-Christian president in modern history is willing to show hatred for the LGBTQ community and pretend that he is anti-choice on abortion. 

Hot off his unbelievable (not a compliment) performance (sort of like at circus seal, but with teleprompters) at the State of The Union, and not yet finished destroying democracy and the English language, or apparently sleep-talking, Chrump read to the assembled prayers, “Since the founding of our nation, many of our greatest strides, from gaining our independence, to abolition of civil rights…America’s potential is unlimited because our extraordinary people are just something that is number one, no matter where you go.” (emphasis mine)

Chrump taking another word dump

No one knows for sure how the phrase ‘abolition of civil rights’ came to pass those spray-tanned lips, but Chrump seemed unfamiliar with most of them, stumbling as usual across the teleprompter, like a third-grader who never raised his hand to read aloud to the class, but was nonetheless forced to do so.  Better luck next time, Little Donnie.

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The Most Feared Person on Capitol Hill

Young and Restless

February 8, 2019

Does this scare you?

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the youngest woman ever elected to Congress (during the blue tsunami of 2018), is scaring the crap out of most of Washington, DC.  AOC, as she is known is the most talked about pol since the incursion of Donald Chrump.  Ocasio-Cortez describes herself as a democratic socialist.  Ocasio-Cortez came out of nowhere, unseated the third-ranking, 10-term Democrat in Congress, and proceeded to charm and/or frighten everyone in and around politics.  She is incredibly well-informed, is effortlessly well-spoken and has more energy than the Energizer Bunny.  Ocasio-Cortez majored in international relations and economics at Boston University, graduating cum laude in 2011.  She is ready, ready as anybody can be.

Republican’ts across the country are soiling their diapers.  They act like they are seeing the reincarnation of Emma Goldman, or Karl Marx, and they are much more positively disposed toward Marx’s ostensible modern-day successor Vladimir Putin.  Completely at ease with their lying, sexist, racist, failing leader’s shenanigans, Republican’ts are positively apoplectic over the 29 year-old AOC’s ability to consistently attract attention.

Be afraid, be very afraid

Many in the media are simply amazed at the “sudden” emergence of a democratic socialist.  Maybe their brains have been so badly damaged by the perpetual shuck and jive, the slob and sleaze, the constant worst, most bizarre thing ever, the constant psychotic dishonesty of Chrump, that they forgot all about Bernie Sanders.  Sanders singlehandedly turned socialism from a dirty word – if it was known at all to most Americans, to nothing short of a cause célèbre.  Sanders caused ‘socialism’ to be the most searched word (and George Orwell’s 1984 the most searched book) in 2016.  And quelle surprise, a huge swath of America realized that they had all kinds of socialist tendencies.  Americans are unsurprisingly willing to consider Medicare-for-all, free college tuition for those in need, a vibrant social safety net and generally find socialism for the many, instead of socialism for the wealthy, quite appealing. Go figure.

AOC re-exposes the cancer that is dark money in politics

Old-school/Blue Dog Democrats are equally terrified of Ocasio-Cortez and the thought of losing their corporate-backed grip on their side of the aisle.  Just as Bernie Sanders sent them scurrying to the big-dollar-insulated shelter of the party machine and the friendly confines of old guard maven Hillary Clinton.  Clinton rallied to defeat Sanders in the 2016 primary, in part by having the Democratic National Committee stack the deck against Sanders, and in part by coopting Bernie’s progressive, populist message, though not anywhere near as invested in the message as the democratic socialist from Vermont.  The rest, as they say, is the (possible end of) history.

Ocasio-Cortez and many of her fellow freshman colleagues are pushing a Green New Deal – a platform proposal that focuses on environmental sanity, infrastructure, economic, social and gender equality, paid for in part by implementing a 70 percent marginal tax rate for incomes above $10 million.  Scary stuff.  To some.  Like Republican’ts who are calling the Green New Deal a “socialist manifesto.”  They can call it whatever they want, they can call it Peaches for all I care.  Maybe they should shut down the government again, or build a wall to stop it.

I. Mangrey rejoicing.  Just a little bit.

SOTU Aftermouth - The Mourning After

Donald Smallhands Saves the World (Or So He Says)

February 6, 2019

I have to admit that I did not watch the State of Disunity address as read, though not written by, Donald Chrump, who according to numerous news sources – several of which are not even fake – is the current president.  Of the United States.  Of America.  I still have to punch myself to make sure I am not dreaming, or already dead.  I know most people pinch themselves to make sure they are awake, but these days pinching is just not convincing.  I plan to stop punching myself as soon as Chrump’s Reign of Carnage comes to a screeching halt.

Actually, I did watch a little bit, but I was not feeling masochistic enough to have the sound on.  What struck me most was Nancy Pelosi, who had the good fortune to be sitting behind Chrump, thereby being spared what the rest of the nation had to endure – Chrump’s festively if not nauseatingly colored visage.  Pelosi seemed to be struggling alternately to keep from laughing and to keep from losing her lunch, as she listened in disbelief to whatever insincere, self-aggrandizing, clueless drivel that surely spilled out of Chrump’s ever-pooching face sphincter.

Pelosi trying not to humiliate Chrump any more than he humiliates himself

I am sure Mr. Chrump said many wonderful and inspirational worgs and phroses, many of which will be remembered long after the dawn of civilization, but not more than a few moments after they pass his lips.  If there is anything that Chrump is good at it is…wait don’t tell me…it’s on the tip of my tongue.  Nope, it’s gone.  Oh wait, I remember – it’s bankruptcy.  Not particularly useful for running a nation, but I guess you have to go with your strengths.  Chrump also knows how to make funny shapes with his little hands while he talks.  Not quite sure what that is all about, but it does distract from the stupid shit coming out of his mouth, and that is a big plus.

According to most reports, no one was seriously injured by the speech, at least not physically.  With the possible exception of Speaker Pelosi, who may have swallowed her tongue on a number of occasions.

The state of our union is Chrump.  It will continue to be so for the foreseeable future, and once it ends, the attempt at recovery will be similar to trying to unmelt the polar ice cap.

I. Mangrey refried.

Working Hard at Hardly Working

I Guess It's a Good Thing He Doesn't Like Beer

February 5, 2019

Remember when candidate Chrump accused Jeb Bush of being “low energy?”  Remember when candidate Chrump accused Hillary Clinton of not having the stamina to be president?  Remember when George W. Bush lost the popular vote and went on to become the worst president in our nation’s history…until Donald Chrump lost the popular vote and went on to become the worst president in our nation’s history?  But, I digress.

We know that Chrump has spent more time golfing than any other president – after raising hell about Obama’s golfing habits while in office.  Chrump’s private daily schedules covering nearly every weekday of the past three months were recently leaked to Axios.  The majority of his working hours are described as unstructured “executive time.”  According to previous reports on the President’s habits, “executive time” covers a few different tasks: watching television, tweeting, making phone calls and reading.  Yeah, right.  Reading.  He doesn’t even read his own tweets.  Executive time sounds more like recess.  This yutz not only has no clue what the hell he is doing, but he does not even give a shit.

While the schedules assert that Trump takes his executive time in the Oval Office from 8 a.m. to 11 a.m., six unnamed sources “with direct knowledge” claim that Chrump actually spends those morning hours in his residence.  It seems only logical, given Chrump’s insatiable proclivity for lying, that any schedule – whether intended for public scrutiny or not – would be less than accurate, unreliable, untrustworthy…you know, bullshit.  The difference between Trump’s largely unstructured schedules and other presidents’ action-packed agendas is astounding.

Chrump waiting for Putin or Hannity to tell him what to do and/or sleeping

According to Axios, based on 51 private schedules they obtained from a source inside the White House, Chrump spent 297 hours in executive time versus 77 hours in meetings for “policy planning, legislative strategy and video recordings,” since November 7^th of last year.

Chrump’s non-schedule schedule indicates a deeply troubling lack of formality to the president’s day.  It is simply not possible to get a handle on everything a president is supposed to know, when he is either unaware, disinterested or unconscious and flying, like the Hindenburg, by the seat of his bizarrely ill-fitting pants.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Slanders told reporters, “President Trump has a different leadership style than his predecessors and the results speak for themselves.”  Different leadership style?  That is an understatement, a misstatement, and a meaningless statement.  Of course it is different, but there has been nothing to indicate it is anything vaguely resembling leadership.  And style is such a subjective term.  Mental patients who wander the halls and talk to themselves have a style of sorts, so what.  One thing we can agree on however, is that the results speak for themselves.  In Chrump’s case, they are speaking a very different language to most of us, than what they say to him. 

The results I hear speaking include a toxic, middle-class-busting tax cut for the wealthiest Americans, checking off every item on Vladimir Putin’s wish list, shattering long-standing global alliances, foreign policy so horrible it makes George W. Bush look almost acceptable (not really, but please allow me this moment of hyperbole), brought racism and hatred out of the shadows and into the limelight, and not only ignoring the global climate crisis, but doing everything inhumanly possible to worsen the situation.  Fortunately, he has not trashed the economy that Obama built on the ruins of the Bush years, which seems to be, in his fevered mind, his signature accomplishment.  If Chrump has done anything else of actual value for the nation as a whole, I must have blinked when it happened and missed it completely.

Chrump claims his beautiful tone is due to “good genes” -
apparently, he is part navel orange

 

So, between the “hair” care, the golfing, all that “executive time,” and the pathetically short work days, it is remarkable that he can find the time for over 8,000 lies and all that whining about his worthless wall.  But, imagine how much damage he could do if he was engaged even half the time.  I say, “Take it easy Mr. Prezident.”

I. Mangrey retouching. 

Thought For The Day

What a Miserable Turd

February 3, 2019

Mitch Fucking McConnell continues to do everything in his power to kill democracy.  I am not referring to the fact that we may be only 12 days away from another Chrump/McConnell government fuck-up/shutdown.  The odds of avoiding this are lower than Chrump’s very, very small IQ.

Uncle Mitch Wants (to screw) You*

On the floor of the Senate, McConnell (R-KY) recently expressed scorn at the idea of making Election Day a federal holiday, which common wisdom contends will help improve voter turnout.  This is important to keep people involved in electing public servants.  Many people cannot devote what is often several hours waiting in line to vote (because Republican’ts continue to make sure there are not enough voting machines or locations).  Democrats have long been in favor of various means of making voting easier, and Republican’ts, as everyone knows, and they are happy to admit, are vigorously opposed to anything that helps people vote.  Unfortunately, this is one case where Republican’ts are firmly aligned with our nation’s founders, who wanted only white, male landowners to vote.  Nobody’s perfect.  To be fair, it only makes sense that today’s Republican’t party, made up of mostly white males, would feel this way.

These machines kill Republican’ts…and they know it

McConnell’s anti-democratic take, “Just what America needs, another paid holiday and a bunch of government workers being paid to go out and work for I assume our folks – our colleagues on the other side, on their campaigns.  This is the Democrat (sic) plan to restore democracy?  A brand-new week of paid vacation for every federal employee who would like to hover around while you cast your ballot?”  There is more bullshit packed into that statement than on all the cattle ranches in Texas combined.

The recently proposed legislation calls for one day off (not a week as McConnell lied) for federal workers, and encourages private employers to follow suit.  Specifically, “the Tuesday next after the first Monday in November in 2020.”

The Election Day proposal is a small part of HR-1, House Democrats’ wide-ranging anti-corruption package, which includes automatic voter registration and measures to prevent partisan gerrymandering.

This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.

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________________
*Unless of course, you are a white, (especially wealthy) male Republican’t

Happy Talk For The Day

How Many Muellers Can Dance on The Head of a Pin?

February 2, 2019

This from Lucian K. Truscott, IV:

It’s going to be a jaw-dropping arrest and indictment because it has to be. Mueller can no longer issue indictments piecemeal and get guilty pleas or convictions one by one. This time, he must lay out a case that Trump and his campaign officials committed crimes that are so egregious, it will be impossible for the congress to fail to protect him from being fired. If Mueller were to indict Kushner alone, or Trump Jr. alone, it would be too easy for Trump to feign outrage and fire him. That’s why Mueller’s next move will be his last, and it will be the big one, sweeping up everyone who is left at once.

From his fingertips, to Lady Justice’s ears (she is blind, after all).  My fingers are crossed, or will be, as soon as I post this.

Lock them up, lock them up!

This has been your Paying Attention Happy Talk For The Day.

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Chrump Attacks Intelligence

Donald J. Chrump, A Man of The World (Inside His Head)

February 1, 2019

It could not be more obvious that Donald Chrump has no time for intelligence.  He is anti-science, anti-democracy, anti-truth, and absolutely – literally and figuratively – anti-intelligence.  The head of every intelligence agency testified before the Senate this week and basically disagreed with every aspect of Chrump’s foreign policy blunders.  They probably resent finding out what their Commander-in-chief is doing via Twitter, since Chrump is too busy watching television to meet with them, or read any of the reports they provide.  Not only that, but the man-who-would-hold-America-hostage-for-an-idiotic-wall listens to no one but Vladimir Putin, Sean Hannity and the psychotic troll inside his head, and says the entire U.S. intelligence community is “extremely passive and naïve,” adding, “Perhaps Intelligence should go back to school!”

“I’m like, a smart person.  Intelligence is for losers.”

Before the sun rose the following day, Donald Twitterhands was as conscious as he gets, and tweeting his displeasure with intelligence.  The previous day, heads of the FBI, CIA, NSA, Defense Intelligence Agency and Director of National Intelligence – all of America’s intelligence agencies…that we know of, all testified at the annual Worldwide Threat Hearing.  Across the board, they panned Chrump’s actions regarding North Korea, ISIS and Iran.  Dangerous Don cannot tolerate anyone who disagrees with him since, as far as he knows, he is never wrong.  After all, he has the best words, the best brain and the best people – some of whom, by the way are the very same intel chiefs that just told Congress and the American people that the guy who hired them is a clueless nimrod who might be the most serious threat to our nation.

For example, Chrump insists that he and Kim Jong Un are in love and that North Korea is ceasing all nuclear weapons related program activities.  The facts on the ground show that Un has been ramping up his missile and WMD programs unabated, even as Chrump waxes moronic about an upcoming second meeting with Un.  Conversely, Chrump contends that Iran is an increasing nuclear threat and that the Iran nuclear deal brokered by Obama is the worst deal in history.  The intelligence community once again reports that despite Chrump’s efforts to derail the agreement, Iran is not in violation of any aspect of the treaty.  Only a month ago Chrump said, “We have won against ISIS.  We’ve beaten them and we’ve beaten them very badly…And now it’s time for our troops to come back home.”  Just days ago, DNI Dan Coates said, “ISIS is intent on resurging and still commands thousands of fighters in Iraq and Syria.”  And of course, Dumbass Don has repeatedly sided with Vladimir Putin over American intelligence when it comes to Russian meddling in the 2016 election.  This week Coates said, “We expect Russia to wage its information war…and use social media to divide our society.”

It is difficult to decide who to believe – the man with the very, very large (albeit sclerotic and badly damaged) brain, or the intelligence experts who have access to the latest information, for which their boss has neither time, nor interest.  After all, Chrump told us last July, “Just remember, what you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening.”  In the throes of his bashing of the intelligence community Chrump, was asked about the report, “I didn’t see the report,” he said at the end of a long rant.  Oh, and then the Republican't Senate weighed in, rebuking Chrump on ISIS, Syria and Afghanistan.

One thing none of the intelligence agencies counted as an actionable threat to national security?  Mexicans and other assorted brown people breaching our borders.  Chrump’s obsession does not seem to register with those who have the intelligence (literally and figuratively).  This is unlikely to dissuade Chrump from crying EMERGENCY ACCOMPLISHED when Congress passes a budget without a penny for his beloved wall, or steel slats, or barrier, or giant beaded curtain, or infinite cheesecloth.  However, it might present some problems when Der Furor tries to build his wildly unpopular, useless, racist wall without Congressional approval. 

Intelligence disagrees with everything Chrump does

We also learned, if there was any question previously, that both Russia and China have the capability to sabotage all aspects of America’s energy grid via cyber attack.  In April 2018, the White House forced out its cybersecurity czar Tom Bossert.  A week later, cybersecurity coordinator Rob Joyce said he would also be leaving.  Instead of replacing either of them, the Chrump and Friends have decided to leave the positions unfilled.  So, we have no one overseeing cybersecurity policy.

As of 2017, Chrump’s top cyber expert has been Rudy “Truth Isn't Truth” Giuliani.  You might not feel safer with the knowledge that Giuliani (I shit you not) has no idea how anything related to the internet works.  He recently whined to reporters that Twitter was out to get him.  Not to worry though, because Chrump has told us that he is an expert on cyber.  This from a man who does not use email, or the internet, or own a computer, or know how to spell if his tweets are any indication.  I wonder who is working his thumbs for him when he is on the toilet tweeting.   

I. Mangrey reporting.