No Color For Old Men
October 18, 2022
Was
orange not bad enough? Is this sick fuck now in blackface or what?
Or,
was he just trying to appeal to the Hispanic Leadership Conference audience?
Either
way, WTF.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Question
For The Day.
October 16, 2022
After proving Trump's guilt beyond any reasonable doubt, the January 6 Committee has thrown down the
gauntlet. They have voted unanimously to subpoena the disgraced,
twice-impeached, failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent
ex-one-term-president, challenging King Rat to put his mouth where his ass is. But not
to kiss it goodbye, though that would suit most of America just fine. They
have challenged Trump to defend his fascistic lies under oath. It seems very
likely that the committee will ultimately recommend charges to Merrick Garland’s
Department of Justice, who will – if there is any justice in this land – indict
the most criminal president in American history.
Unfortunately, there have been too many times
when we have seen Donald Turmp under fire, under investigation, under
interrogation, under oath, only to emerge nowhere near scathed enough to
satisfy truth, justice or the American way (well, maybe the American way). Once
again, those of us with IQs that are not preceded by a decimal point find
ourselves hoping against hope, watching the Russian-roulette-gun-cylinders of
justice turning. With the barrel of justice pointed squarely at the orange-dyed
temple of the man who tried to steal America, will it finally land on the
chamber with the proverbial bullet in it when the metaphorical trigger is
pulled?
To that end, let us immerse ourselves in
positive imagery, that we may help to manifest that which we desire with all
our hearts.
No Color For Old Men
October 15, 2022
Was
orange not bad enough? Is this sick fuck now in blackface or what?
Or,
was he trying to appeal to the Hispanic Leadership Conference audience?
Either
way, WTF.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.
January 6 Committee Series Finale
Wow! What a
blockbuster. The most gripping reality tv ever. The Jan 6 Committee series
finale debuted yesterday afternoon. Besides being a much-needed recap of season
one, important new details emerged, proving beyond a reasonable doubt that
Donald Trump helped plan, incited and watched with glee the brutal attempted
coup he needed in order to nullify the election of Joseph R. Biden as 46th
President of the United States.
Speaking of new details, this morning we were treated to exciting new footage of members of Congress hunkered down, desperately trying to avoid Trump’s psychotic mob of pathetic misfits who were planning murder. And trying to do what the colluding president would not do – bring in reinforcements to rid the Capitol of the intruders. We saw and heard House Speaker Nancy Pelosi say of riot ringleader Trump’s plan to join the insurrection, “For trespassing on the Capitol grounds. I’m going to punch him out, and I’m going to go to jail, and I’m going to be happy.” For some reason, the committee chose not to include this during the series finale, but it’s out there now.
The Jan 6 Committee left viewers with perhaps the best final scene in the history of television – certainly the most historically significant. In a surprise ending that had O’Henry stand up in his grave and applaud, they concluded the final episode by voting unanimously to subpoena disgraced, twice-impeached, ex-one-term-president and failed insurrection leader Donald John Trump’s “relevant documents” (even those he stole?) “and testimony under oath” in order that the American people have access to the whole truth from the man who led the January 6, 2021 Capitol insurrection. In her closing, Cheney said
We are obligated to
seek answers directly from the man who set this all in motion. And every
American is entitled to those answers, so we can act now to protect our
Republic. So this afternoon, I am offering this resolution that the committee
direct the chairman to issue a subpoena for relevant documents and testimony
under oath from Donald John Trump in connection with the January 6th attack on
the United States Capitol.
Chairman Thompson in
his closing statement said
…we have left no
doubt, none, that Donald Trump led an effort to up end American democracy that
directly resulted in the violence of January 6th. He tried to take away the
voice of the American people in choosing their president and replace the will
of the voters with his will to remain in power.
He is the one person
at the center of the story of what happened on January 6th, so we want to hear
from him. The committee needs to do everything in our power to tell the most
complete story possible and provide recommendations to help ensure nothing like
January 6th ever happens again. We need to be fair and thorough and gain a full
context for the evidence we've obtained.
But the need for this
committee to hear from Donald Trump goes beyond our fact finding. This is a
question about accountability to the American people. He must be accountable.
He is required to answer for his actions. He's required to answer to those
police officers who put their lives and bodies on the line to defend our
democracy.
It was reported that
after learning of the committee’s decision to serve a subpoena Trump said to no
one in particular, “Testify under oath? No fucking way, and tell the truth? I can’t handle the truth. Have you fucking met
me?”
There is no reporting from numerous sources that after leaving the hearing room the committee was observed joyously pouring Gatorade all over Chairman Bennie Thompson.
Once again, we here at Paying Attention™ predict that The Jan 6 Committee Hearings win Emmys for best documentary, best reality tv series and best drama.
I. Mangrey reporting. Fingers crossed, stomach churning, mind reeling.
Irony
Is Dead, But Hypocrisy Is In Perfect Health
October 13, 2022
Irony is dead, and
so too may we be. Quack Dr. Oz is running a commercial attacking John Fetterman
for pulling a gun on an unarmed black man. Never mind the context according to
Fetterman. Shooting unarmed black men, as we all know, is practically part of
the Ratpublican platform. In fact, it’s one of the few policies they even
acknowledge other than outlawing abortion, contraception and same-sex marriage,
destroying the environment, and passing tax cuts for the super-rich every six
months.
White guys shooting
unarmed black men is practically the raison d être of today’s Ratpublican base.
Is Oz dog-whistling
that Fetterman cannot be trusted because the young black man walked away
unscathed?
Speaking of
hypocrisy, Raphael “Ted” Cruz, Josh “Running Man” Hawley and kidnapping racist Ron
DuhSantis all like to pretend they did not attend Ivy League colleges, while
they spend every waking moment riling up their gullible, dimwitted, self-loathing
supporters against East Coast liberal elites.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled
hysterics.
October 12, 2022
In other environmental-ish news, most humans are voracious consumers and ill-treaters of the animals with which we feed ourselves. I certainly am guilty of a lifetime of carnivorous behavior. We have all heard about the brutality of factory farms – not only against the animals, but also those who work there. But they’re another story. Cows, pigs, chickens are all treated horrendously en masse in order for us to stuff our faces. And since very few of us have to witness such brutal treatment and relentless slaughter, we are able to live under the shelter of plausible deniability. Well, it turns out that fish, whether “domesticated” or wild, may be the worst off of all. According to research, humans have fished out 90 percent of all the fish. And it is very likely that fish are not as stupid as we like to think.
Right
now, you might be thinking to yourself, wow, maybe vegetarianism or veganism is
the way to go. Not so fast big-brained alpha predator. It turns out that plants
are people too. Well, maybe not quite, but it seems that they also feel pain,
and communicate.
So, I
hate to break it to you, but maybe Soylent Green really is the way to go. It’s
certainly the only fair thing to do.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
You're welcome.
What is your thought for the day?
October 9, 2022
Quick aside: I don’t know if this makes things better or worse, but Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson joined her first oral arguments this week in what will in all likelihood result in a stunning and futile gesture to stop he psycho courtmates from taking another vampire-bite out of environmental protections. While it is a wonderful thing that she has a voice on the highest court in the land, it will be a voice in the wilderness for a long, long time given the super stupid (I’m looking at you Gorsuch, Kavanaugh and Clowny Barrett), super fascist (that would be you Alito) and supremely gutless (who does that leave…oh yeah, “Chief” Justice Roberts)* majority flagrantly and callously overturning a century of precedent (and millions of years of a planet that is habitable for humans) as they steamroll the Constitution and democracy on their way full-on-fascism in the good old USA.
Those
of you who know me and/or spend any time on these virtual pages will not be
surprised to hear that far above all other concerns for me, and for everyone here
at Paying Attention™, is the environment, and keeping it safe for all our
relatives, especially those who cannot speak for themselves – since they never
did anything to jeopardize their very existence.
I
was driving home the other day and what do I hear on the radio. I hear that the
fucking Supreme(ly fucked up) Court is planning to weaken some more
environmental protections. Because there are six fucked up motherfuckers who
hate the environment and will bend over, roll over, heel and do absolutely
everything to the benefit of rich people and right-wing ranchers, developers,
fossil fuel fetishists and general plunderers who don’t give a flying fuck
about anything but themselves.
If
there is a god, and I am in no way prepared to admit that there might be, I
feel it is safe to say that he, she or it, or they (who am I to assume a
pronoun) thinks that the human race was either a huge mistake or just a bunch
of selfish, mindless, hairless apes who just want to piss all over everything,
future be damned. Clearly this pinnacle of creation did a lousy fucking job of
stewardship. Some of them even twisted the whole concept from taking care and
protecting creation to having dominion, which they then decided meant thoughtless,
selfish, absolute control.
Quicker
aside: If there is a god, I damn sure hope it’s not the one to whom professional
fuckhead Doug Mastriano and abortion financier Herschel Walker are praying to rescue
their disgusting, shameless campaigns for Pennsylvania governor and Georgia
Senator respectively.
Maybe
whoever (if anyone) made us did so to satisfy some self-esteem issues. Maybe
we’re only really here because whoever it was needed someone to run around
screaming about her existence and how great and glorious she is (or was). I’m
going with her for now since it seems pretty foolish to think a man
created everything, but women are the ones who created life from then on.
Doesn’t make any fucking sense.
And guess whose profits went through the roof, increasing by 340% between the first and second quarters of 2022. (Hint: it wasn’t me)
So
much for calming the fuck down.
Freak
out…
I
mean, Peace Out.
___________________________________________________
*And, of course, all six
of them are radical Christians who believe church should trump state (pun
unavoidable, but nonetheless nauseating).
I. Mangrey reporting. Hair and planet on fire.
October 8, 2022
You
are likely familiar with the concept of citizen’s arrest. Well, guess what – it
turns out that as a citizen I can arrest, indict and convict someone just by
thinking about it. So I’m sorry, disgraced,
twice-impeached, ex-one-term-president and failed insurrection leader Donny Trump – I’m thinking about arresting you.
And it’s your own fault. You just won’t shut the fuck up. Why won’t you let
America be great again? If you won’t go back to your make-believe board room,
your make-believe business and your make-believe billions and leave us the fuck
alone, you leave me no choice. I think you guilty.
I Think, Therefore It Is
So,
for your many crimes – in and out of office – I think you guilty. Go to jail.
Go directly to jail. Do not pass Mor-on Lardo. Just turn yourself in. I don’t want
to have to think this again…but I will.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
You're welcome.
What is your thought for the day?
BONUS THOUGHT (with
thanks to Franz Kafka):
As Donald Trump
awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed
into a gigantic insect…
October 7, 2022, 11:00 PM, Eastern
THIS JUST IN:
Herschel Walker
admits to asking same girlfriend to get a second abortion, but still denies paying
for her first one. Says he believes he is still very anti-abortion a lot.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Late Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled
head scratching.
