Fun Fact For The Day - Meet The Putz

He Is Such A Good Little Boy

September 20, 2023

During Trump’s recent interview on Meet The Press, he was asked about what exactly he was doing while his minions were hunting Nancy Pelosi and others – to capture and/or kill them, and Mike Pence – to “Hang Mike Pence!”, the disgraced, twice-impeached, four-time-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president (who will never take the stand in his own defense due to his absolute inability to ever tell the truth) had this to say:

I’m not going to tell you anything. Let me put it this way. I behaved so well. I did such a good job.

That was a direct quote from the man who would be king.

Why does Trump always look like he is sitting on a toilet and struggling?

Just thought you might like to know.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact For The Day.

Thought For The New Year

Shana Tova 5784

September 18, 2023

What A Putz

This is a sacred time for Jews the world over. Rosh Hashana - New Year, and Yom Kippur - Day of Atonement, just over a week apart. A time to take stock. To make amends. To atone. A time to let go of the past and eschew ill will. Unfortunately, this gets complicated when the past won't go away. When those who have wronged not only us personally, but worsened the entire world, continue their hurtful ways day after day after day after day. Bruising people's souls, causing death and destruction, and claiming – while looking to the heavens (I’m surprised he knew where to look) – “I am the chosen one.”

The following image just came across my desk while I was minding my own business, trying to be a kind, understanding and good person.

This, from a man who referred to Nazis as "very fine people"

Unlike the targets of Trump’s holiday greeting/rebuke, Trump will never learn from a mistake because, and he has made this very clear over and over and over again, he has never made a mistake, or done anything that might require him to have a regret.

I can't wait to see what he has to say to all the Christians who voted for Biden come Christmas and Easter. 

I'd better just leave it there for now. I have to go wash my mind out with soap.

I. Mangrey repenting.

Thought For The Day

If You Don’t Know How To Do It…

September 17, 2023

Alleged pedophile and confirmed douchebag Rep. Matt Gaetz (R-FL), who has a firm grip on at least one of (assuming he has two) Kevin McQarthy’s balls, accused the ersatz Speaker of “lying like a dead dog.” Gaetz described the hapless McQarthy as a “sad and pathetic man who lies to hold onto power.” And Gaetz knows a thing or three about pathetic liars because he undoubtedly owns a mirror, and is probably able to hear himself talk. 

It is possible that Gaetz and a few other Congress delinquents hold McQarthy’s fate in their greasy paws.

I just hope they clean up after him

Walking The Dog - Rufus Thomas

Also, Gaetz should consider selling ad space on that expansive forehead of his.

I’ve seen smaller billboards

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

What do you think?

Artificial Ignorance

No Added Artificial Intelligence

September 15, 2023

During their recent Fascist (nee Republican) Party debate, almost all candidates running against soon-to-be-convicted felon Donald Junta Trump said they would still vote for him even after being found guilty of any or all of the 91 separate charges, across four different jurisdictions, against him. There’s stupid, and then there’s stupid. And pathetic. And cultist.

As you know, the Fascist Party, especially the MAGA crowd is anti-science or progress regarding so many things that people whose IQs do not begin with a decimal point find meaningful, useful, and often integral to life in the real world. Neither are they particularly fond of democracy.

MAGAts naturally fear and distrust artificial intelligence. This of course is a no brainer since they are vehemently opposed to intelligence of any kind. And because they have no brains. Their unbridled fear of smart people causes them to soil their undergarments on a daily basis.

The Lyin’ King: Donald Jefferson-Davis Trump – all artificial, no intelligence

These are the same people who embrace trans fats, which are killing many of them, but are apoplectic over trans people who are not hurting anyone.

These are the same people who cosplay in tactical military gear for an insurrection, but are scared to death of someone dressing up as a member of the opposite sex for entertainment purposes (or any other purpose for that matter).

They are pitching a life-and-death struggle against “wokeness” because being woke is about being less stupid and hateful, and therefore a threat to all they hold dear and sacred. Being woke is about thinking it and paying it forward. The MAGAts prefer to keep their brains idling…or floored in reverse.

They think the gun lobby is the place where you wait to mow people down with assault weapons as they enter a school, church, bar or workplace.

They are too stupid to understand that Antifa is short for anti-fascist, constantly describing Antifa as fascists. Pot, allow me to introduce my good friend, Kettle.

They elect people like Marjorie Taylor Trump who threaten to shut down the government unless Congress opens an impeachment investigation into President Biden for reasons that exist only in her corroded cortex. EmptyG and her fellow MAGAts are obsessed with the pathetic dealings of Hunter Biden while ignoring the duplicitous, if not traitorous dealings of Jaren Kushner, who walked away with more than $2B Saudi blood/oil bucks several weeks after leaving his abjectly failed job in Trump’s White House. To be fair, Kushner only failed as far as serving the American people. He succeeded wildly in serving himself. How very Trumpy of him.

Unsatisfied by their staggering level of natural idiocy, they incessantly fight against any forms of intelligence – natural or artificial. What they really want is artificial idiocy. All of their news sources traffic in it. All their political heroes wallow in it. They are proud of their abject ignorance and they will fight to the death to increase the level of ignorance by any means necessary.

One More Incredibly Stupid Thing

One of the Defendant-Of-The-Century’s attorneys said “President (her word not mine) Trump is not your average person. He’s incredibly intelligent. He knows the ropes.* He also knows the facts, because he lived them…What is he going to have to be prepped for, the truth? You don’t have to prep much when you’ve done nothing wrong.” Trump has to be prepped before he walks down a flight of stairs. Or a gently sloped ramp. Or gets out of bed. Oddly, all his other lawyers are insisting they need more time – three years more time – to prep for his trials.

Trump – adding artificial ignorance to his already incalculable natural supply

Meanwhile, The Defendant is going on TV and anti-social media every day confessing to his crimes. He believes that he has “done nothing wrong” because he believes he is allowed to do whatever he wants, because. Trump has the right, but not the ability, to remain silent. Everything he says can and will be used against him in a court of law. In the very near (though not near enough) future.

The following actual quotes were made during a televised interview with Trump's former nemesis and shameless media whore Megyn Kelly:

“I’m allowed to do what I want to do.”
Donald Trump, September 14, 2023
referring to the illegal possession of government documents

“I know this. I don’t even know that. Because I have the
right to those documents. So I don’t really know that.”
Donald Trump, September 14, 2023
in response to being reminded that being subpoenaed
meant he had to turn over the documents

If Trump’s attorneys were smart (Spoiler Alert: They are not), they would invest in tranquilizer darts. Stat.

_____________________________________________________

*I think she meant “He knows the rapes.”

I. Mangrey reporting.
What does it all mean? I’m glad I asked. 

Impeachy Keen

Vengeance Is Mine, Sayeth The Turd

September 13, 2023

Mega-MAGAts Marge Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz and others have been threatening to shut down the government if they do not get their way. Marge in particular has been emptying her pie-hole at every opportunity, insisting that revenge be taken for the strikingly valid, dare I say necessary impeachments of disgraced, twice-impeached, quadruple-indicted (so far), failed insurrectionist, Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term president Donald “The Defendant” Trump.

EmptyG, seen here fondling the fake private parts of a cardboard Trump; when

you’re a psycho, they let you do it – grab a cardboard dummiy by the balls

The House Looney Caucus (or the FreeDumb Caucus as they like to call themselves) is now getting their wish. House Squeaker Kevin McQarthy has green-lighted EmptyG and Matt’s wet dream of beginning an “impeachment inquiry” into President Joe Biden. They are hell bent on impeaching Biden because.

Three of the stooges

Whereas Democrats had hours and days of evidence and witnesses, not to mention everyone in the world saw what Boss Trump and his Keystone Coup did to trigger Trump’s record-breaking second impeachment, McQarthy's treacherous cretins have zero evidence, they probably do not have enough votes to do anything. As Sen. John Fetterman (D-PA) put it, “It would just be like a big circle jerk on the fringe right.”

Fetterman added, “Go ahead. Do it, I dare you. If you can find the votes, go ahead, because you’re going to lose. It’s a loser.”

Fetterman, seen here learning that the fake impeachment inquiry is a go:
“Oh my God really? Oh my gosh, you know, oh it's devastating.
OOOoOoOOoOoOOOOh don't do it, please don't do it. Oh no, oh no!”

They say they need to see his tax returns. Now, I may be mistaken, but at this particular moment in history, it matters not-at-all whether I am or not, but I do believe Biden’s taxes are currently, and will be for the next decade or so, under audit by the IRS, or the NFL, or possibly extraterrestrials and are therefore untouchable.

So, the Fascist Party wet-dreamers can just clean up their premature procedural emissions and shut the fuck up.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thought For The Day - Anti-Pro-Life

Hold Your Water

September 10, 2023

The Fascist Party is searching for different misleading terminology to replace the wonderfully dishonest “pro-life.” They are finding that too many people believe pro-life means no abortions ever for any reason ever and for always. I assume people have this impression because that is exactly what the murderous pro-life mob has in mind. If they were pro-life they would not go around murdering doctors who perform abortions. They would not be fine with women dying in childbirth rather than risk the life of the unborn. They would not force women to give birth to dead babies. They would not cut off funding for school lunches.

In any event, the Fascist Party is now anti-pro-life.

The leading force behind the new branding – John Q. Fetus

Our sources tell us they are considering “Amateur Life” or “Q-Life. We are also told they may simply throw off all artifice and go with the impressively accurate “Pro-death.”

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

What do you think? 

Schmuck(s) Of The Day – Double Cracker Edition

Would You Like Cheese With Those Crackers

September 8, 2023

Loose Screws, Missing Marbles, And Words Of Dumb Whizz

Current Alabama senator and former (possibly also current) Milk Dud with ears Tommy Tuberville clearly has but one brain cell devoted to higher functions. Many of God’s creatures have large brains because they have large bodies and much of the brain is devoted to managing those large bodies and their daily functions. I am not sure how large Tuberville is, but clearly his brain is solely devoted to bodily functions, particularly defecating, sometimes out of his mouth.

Tuberville unsuccessfully telling himself to STFU

or attempting to pick his nose

Senate rules allow one lone member to gum up the works, even if that member has an IQ with a minus sign in front of it. Tuberville continues his one-monkey blockade on all promotions in the United States military because the military permits its members to have abortions as part of the medical care to which they are entitled as a condition of their service to this nation. Leaders in all branches of the military have made it clear that Tinpot Tommy is disrupting the chain of command, knee-capping the military with his brainless pursuit. Top Pentagon officials have recently gone so far as to state publicly that the human Tuber is aiding and abetting the communists.

For his part, Tuberville has said that he doesn’t “know what they do at the Pentagon every day.” Besides being incredibly stupid, what does the fact that Tuberville does not understand how the military works (did I mention he is a senator?), have to do with anything other than the fact that he is incredibly stupid.

Tommy the Tuber fielding questions

Tuberville, who must have spent much of his life with a tourniquet around his neck, also bemoaned the fact that “We are so woke in the military…we’ve got people doin’ poems on aircraft carriers over the loudspeaker.”

Mike Schmuckabee

In a tie for today’s Schmuck(s) Of The Day, alleged Christian Mike Huckabee warned that if Donald Trump does not regain the presidency in 2024, this would be the last election decided by ballots. Huckabee is a former governor of Arkansas (a position his ignorant, Christo-fascist daughter now holds), and claims to be a Baptist minister; let’s see what this religious leader has to offer in the name of Jesus…

Do you know how political opponents to those in power are dealt with in third-world dictatorships, banana republics, and communist regimes? The people in power use their police agencies to arrest their opponents for made-up crimes in an attempt to discredit them, bankrupt them, imprison them, exile them, or all of the above.*

If you are not paying attention, you may not realize that Joe Biden is using exactly those tactics to make sure that Donald Trump is not his opponent in 2024.**

Here’s the problem. If these tactics end up working to keep Trump from winning or even running in 2024, it is going to be the last American election that will be decided by ballots rather than bullets.

Recent head shot of schmuck Huckabee

Naturally, the rest of the Fascist Party sits on their hands, which must be difficult while their heads are lodged in there.

__________________________________________________
*It seems Huckabee missed the fact that Trump has promised to do all of these things should he be reelected.
*This of course is utter, unfiltered, unadulterated shit from a bull.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck(s) Of The Day. Fuck yeah.

Fraught For The Day - Dead. Heat.

Wake Me (Or Shoot Me) When It’s Over

September 6, 2023

There are myriad reasons to gnash one’s teeth, binge drink, break down sobbing at a moment’s notice and/or bang one’s head with great vigor against a random wall. I will not attempt to list them all, or even a significant fraction…I doubt I have enough time left on this plane of existence for such Sisyphusian task. There is however one glaring incursion on reality and sanity that has my knickers twisted to the point of asphyxiation.

Tied Up In Nots

This should not be happening.

Current President Joe Biden and disgraced, twice-impeached, four-time-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president Donald Trump remain in a dead heat – emphasis on dead – in the run-up to the do-or-die 2024 presidential election, according to just about every poll. This despite the fact that Trump gets indicted every week or so, will be embroiled in court battles in at least four jurisdictions, has already been found liable for sexually abusing and then defaming E. Jean Carroll (a judge later said that New York’s legal definition of “rape” is “far narrower” than the word is understood in “common modern parlance”), constantly kisses Vladimir Putin’s ass, and is by all accounts the world’s biggest douchebag.

This should not be possible.

Many people remain concerned that Biden – who is known to eat actual adult food and exercise regularly – is too old to continue being the most positively impactful president in decades. This despite the fact that Trump is only three years younger than Biden, eats like a drunken frat-boy, believes exercise shortens your life (he actually said as much), is twice the man Biden is, weight-wise, almost died of COVID/stupidity, stared directly at a solar eclipse, and whose intellectual claim to fame is being able name pictures of animals any child would recognize and remember the words: person, woman, man, camera, tv – and bragged about it like he had just rid the world of cancer…or himself.

In case you’ve forgotten or just need a good laugh/cry/ulcer…

How to person woman man camera tv – with Sarah Cooper

Freak out…

I mean, Peace Out.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fraught For The Day.

You're welcome.

What has you fraught for the day?

Broken News - First Amendment Follies

And A Derangerous Sociopathic Shall Lead Them

September 3, 2023

The world’s oldest juvenile delinquent Donald Junkfood Trump has kicked his perpetual hissy fit up to eleven. With several indictments and an unknown number of varied lawsuits hanging over the cotton-candy-covered black hole of knowledge and humanity that fills his head, the “man” who speaks in all caps all the time has decided it is in his best interest to thumb his Adderall-rotted-out nose at special prosecutor Jack Smith and Washington and DC Federal District Judge Tanya Chutkan. Chutkan will be overseeing Trump being found guilty by a jury of his peers after being afforded a fair trial. Most defendants know better than to publicly disrespect the prosecutor and flout the judge’s instructions, the abrogation of which can lead to contempt of court charges. Naturally, Trump thinks he is above the law. Hopefully, the law does not agree.

Donny has vowed to defy Judge Chutkan’s orders not to talk about his looming trials for three counts of criminal conspiracy and one count of obstruction of an official proceeding. The most consequential defendant in American history told a crowd of his faithful zombies in New Hampshire, “When we say I can't talk, I'd love to. I will talk about it. I will. They're not taking away my First Amendment.” First of all, huh? Second, it’s not your First Amendment dimwit. Third, we’ll see.

That’s right, the man who never shuts the fuck up is claiming to anyone having the misfortune of hearing his voice that he is being silenced. If only.

Whaaaaaaaaaaa! Gimme my First Amendment!

The First Amendment is Trump’s new battle cry. Someone should tell Donny that the judge’s instructions to keep his trap shut about the trial has anything to do with the First Amendment. Neither is his beef with Jack Smith a First Amendment case, nor is it campaign interference, or anything else he and his team of reject lawyers want to call it in order to sway public opinion. It is a case of so-called alleged criminal activity engaged in for the sole purpose of subverting our democracy. As was Trump’s first run for president. And his current fake candidacy is even more so.

Trump holds no loyalty to America. That has been made abundantly clear throughout his miserable life, and even more so during his unfortunate time as president. He also told his feckless followers in New Hampshire that he regrets ever getting into politics (no fucking shit, how do you think we feel), “I could have been relaxing at Mar-a-Lago or in the south of France ― which I would prefer to being in this country, frankly.” Amen to that shit-for-brains.

Il Douche is suddenly a defender of the First Amendment, which you can be sure he cannot quote, nor does he know what place it holds among the amendments to the Constitution. You can bet he does not know what’s in the Second Amendment either.

Lastly, one more quote from the Fascist Party’s leading candidate for the 2024 nomination:

“One more indictment and I think this election’s over.”
Donald Trump, August 8, 2023

This was the only thing he said that either made any sense, or had even a fleeting glimpse of the truth. However, he did not mean it the way I heard it.

Trump is deranged and dangerous. His level of threat to society demands a new word:

Derangerous

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled holiday weekend.