Out Of The Womb, Into The Fire

So Is Legitimate Good Or Bad?

The State of Missouri Misery

August 25, 2012

The Republican’t platform includes the yearning for a constitutional amendment outlawing abortion with no exception for life of the mother, rape or incest.  Congressman and Republican’t senate nominee in Missouri, Todd Akin (R-14^th Century) talked about his understanding that “if it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”  Wow, that’s just some groundbreaking stuff.  This guy is like the Einstein of the anti-choice crowd…if Einstein instead of thinking fifty years ahead of his time and coming up with E=MC², had gotten 90% of his brain removed shortly after birth and a Nobel Prize for drooling. 

Countless Republican’ts, most of whom share Akin’s views if not his level of stupidity or candor, railed against this Tea-Party-darling for his unconscionable views.  They were beside themselves with disgust that this rube would speak what’s on all their minds in broad daylight.

Do you know this guy?  Is this a guy?



One has to wonder just how many times these Republican’ts have illegitimately raped their wives, and their girlfriends or unsuspecting strangers before that, and their sisters and cousins before that. And how many of those illegitimately raped girls and women had enough magic bodily fluids to ward off all those pregnancies?  And how many illegitimate people are walking around using up valuable oxygen as a result of non-functioning magic fluids?  And how many of these illegitimate rape babies are now holding elected office under the Republican’t banner?  Legitimately inquiring minds want to know.

In other woman-hating news Paul Ryan, had no choice but to reluctantly join in the faux chorus of outrage against Akin.  Ryan and Akin have co-sponsored anti-woman legislation which included "forcible rape" language so they must still have feelings for each other.  Ryan has since stated that rape is simply one of many forms of conception.  And in his “mind” conception means you are automatically either a U.S. citizen with a gun license, a tax shelter and all the rights afforded thereby or a U.S. citizen who should prepare to have your voting rights denied, depending on your color and/or social status.  Ryan said, “The method of conception doesn’t change the definition of life.”  Apparently Mr. Ryan has decided he is not only Ayn Rand, but also Miriam Fucking Webster.

Wait, there’s more.  Forget about Sharia Law.  But get your secular asses ready for Mormon Law, if Willard takes the helm. Nobody does proselytizing like the Mormons. They don’t even care if you’re already dead, they’ll just sign you up anyway.  They don’t care if you were a Jew killed by Nazis.  Just like the Second Amendment jihadists are scared to death that Obama will take all their guns away, us normal folks should start worrying about all the forced conversions a (GULP!) president Willard will surely be imposing.  As comfortable as he is with illegitimate rape and all that, why would he bat an eye at making us all Mormons or even Mor(m)ons?

Romney said those who "seek to remove from the public domain any acknowledgment of God" aren't acting in line with the Founders' intent.  Romney said the Founders didn't intend for "the elimination of religion from the public square. We are a nation 'Under God, 'and in God, we do indeed trust."  A regular Nostradumbass in reverse.

The separation of church and state is enshrined in the First Amendment of the Constitution and the Federalist Papers, but Congress and the courts and myriad idiots have debated the practical extent of that separation since our nation’s founding.   Most can’t be bothered by the fact that most of the Founders were Deists not Christians.  They believed in a Supreme Being but did not believe in religion.

We are into some serious stupid here folks.  Don’t take anything for granted.  Vote early and often while you still can.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible (and illegitimate) comment invited.

Romney Shrugged...

Ayn Ryan's Express

Fantasyland

August 15, 2012

In 2005 Paul Ryan, then an up-and-coming libertarian heartthrob, attended a gathering to celebrate Ayn Rand’s 100^th birthday, which she was fortunately not around to enjoy.  Ryan offered up this heartfelt homage to his beloved inspiration, “The reason I got involved in public service, by and large, if I had to credit one thinker, one person, it would be Ayn Rand...you can’t find another thinker or writer who did a better job of describing and laying out the moral case for capitalism,” adding  “It’s so important that we go back to our roots to look at Ayn Rand’s vision, her writings, to see what our girding, under-grounding [sic] principles are.”  More recently Ryan gushed, “I give out ‘Atlas Shrugged’ as Christmas presents, and I make all my interns read it.”  For anyone keeping score, Ayn Rand makes Saul Alinsky look like Ronald Reagan.

Rand railed against Social Security and Medicare throughout her life, until she needed them.  Then she did everything she could to avail herself of them, including hiding her true identity by getting her benefits under her departed husband’s name.  Some people might consider this hypocrisy.  These people clearly don’t understand Rand’s philosophy of Objectivism “a philosophy based on objective reality.”  That objective reality, of course, is the one rattling around between Ms. Rand’s impenetrable ears and is therefore unavailable to the rest of humankind.  The rest of us can only glimpse this ruse by reading her works of fiction.  Russian ex-pat Rand, (born Alisa Zinov'yevna Rosenbaum) wrote fiction and she was fiction.  Rand was a self-serving political surrealist who believed selfishness is a virtue and that man’s “highest moral purpose is the achievement of his own happiness.”  So much for social structure.  Her ideas sound quite appealing on some level, but have no practical application in the world outside her own shoes, a world where other people might have the impertinence to exist.



Ryan didn’t have to use a pseudonym or wait until he was elderly American to take advantage of Social Security.  Ryan’s father passed away when Paul was only sixteen leaving the son with Social Security payments for the next two years, which enabled him to afford college, which enabled his political aspirations, which enabled him to spout off about killing Social Security in part by co-sponsoring George W. Bush’s so-called mandate to end the greatest social safety net.  Anyone remember how that worked out for the two of them?

I understand that a sixteen year old wouldn’t have the sophistication or foresight to turn down free money from the government he would later try to dismantle.  I assume that once he got older and became a full-fledged douchebag, slathering his affections on Ayn Rand he immediately returned the dirty money.  I could be wrong about this. 

More recently, in 2009, while Rand Ryan was squawking about the evil stimulus package, he was simultaneously petitioning the Energy Secretary for millions of stimulus dollars for his district.  I guess you call that hypocrisy rational self-interest - I know Ayn Rand would.

Now that Ryan is working his way up the food chain it is becoming clear that not everyone, that is, practically no one, other than Ron Paul who named his idiot son after her, finds Ayn Rand to be an inspiration.  So Ryan has disavowed his love for Ayn Rand in public for all to see, claiming that his unbridled devotion to Rand in an urban legend.  The extensive video record claims otherwise.



Ryan, who constantly whines about the federal deficit and has created a budget plan endorsed by the entire Republican’t party including Mutt Romney, also voted in complete lockstep with George W. Bush’s deficit ballooning policies for eight years.  Some people might consider this hypocrisy.  These people clearly don’t understand Paul Ryan’s malleable philosophy of Supply Side Objectivism - do as I say, not as I do.  Maybe Mr. Ryan, after becoming the next Sarah Palin, will immigrate to Russia and write the next great Russian novel: maybe The Emptyhead or Asshole Shrugged.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (not Ayn Rand) invited.

Romney Is As Romney Does

I did not know this...

This is not a spoof.  This is for real.  Truth is stranger than satire.

Meanwhile, turning to the present day Romney, Harry Reid continues his offensive on HMS Willard's tax history.  Reid shocked the political world by announcing that he had a secret informant, referred to only as Damp Threat, who Reid says told him that Romney (the humanoid Mor(m)on, not the ship) hadn’t paid any taxes over a ten year stretch.  The Romney camp was apoplectic, demanding that Reid “put up or shut up.”  Reid, a Mormon sporting both ‘m’s and a former boxer, sensed an opening and brushed off Romney’s limp jab.  Reid refused to back down and simply suggested Romney release the appropriate tax returns if he wanted to put the issue to rest.  Advantage Reid.

Reid continues to play it cagey on his source, dishing out details little by little.  Personally, I don’t care if his source is Ann Romney or the ghost of Hunter Thompson.  It’s time the Democrats started fighting back with the tactics that keep beating them.  The tactics perfected by Karl Rove’s mentor Lee Atwater, who plied his filth in the service of Richard Nixon, and taken to new lows by Bush’s “brain” – Rove himself.  These guys knew it didn't matter if what you said was true or not, just get it out there and let it fester.  Once the truth comes out, it's usually too late to matter.

Ed Venture reporting



Texass Strikes Again

Another One Has The Dust Bitten For Him

Death Row, TX

August 9, 2012

I guess when they say, “Don’t mess with Texas” they ain’t kiddin' - even if you’re not the least bit aware that you may have in fact messed with Texas.  But, don’t forget, execution is one of Texas’ most beloved cottage industries.  It's held in higher regard than their education industry.  Texas is still the Executions Champion, executing more people each year than any other state.  Texas out-killed their nearest competitor by 2-1 in 2011 and by more than 4-1 since 1976, being responsible for nearly 3 out of every 8 executions during that time.  Yeeehaaaaw!

This incredible record of ultimate justice is due, in no small part, to their ex-governor - the previous record-holder in executions, George W. "Let-'em-hang" Bush.  Bush The Destroyer signed off on 152 executions during his self-abbreviated tenure as chief executive of Texas.  Fortunately he didn't finish his second term and wanting to show the rest of the country that he wasn't completely heartless pardoned his first and only Death Row inmate as he began his run for president.  Said Bush recently, "That's one of my few regrets really, that and maybe not clearing enough brush while I was president. I never shoulda let that guy off the hook. I only did it so's people would think I's the kind of guy they'd like to have a beer with and maybe elect as president. If I'd a known the Supreme Court was gonna up and appoint me, I would of done things differently I think."  Bush's successor, Rick Perry, who will happily execute just about anyone, has yet to match Bush's record of killings per year but has surpassed his predecessor in sheer volume with 234 as of this moment. Except that...

Texas just executed Marvin Wilson, a man with an IQ of 61, even though the Supreme Court in 2002 ruled that executing “mentally retarded” people was unconstitutional.  The Supremes gave states some discretion to decide who qualified for protection.  Discretion is not something you think of when you think of Texas.  "Despite all the signs of Mr. Wilson's intellectual disabilities and the diagnosis of the court-appointed neuropsychologist, the District Court of Jefferson County (Texas) concluded that Mr. Wilson is not mentally retarded," an ACLU posting said, with "not" italicized for emphasis.  As difficult as this may be, perhaps we shouldn't jump to any conclusions before all the facts are in, or before we make up our own facts to make us feel better, as did the District Court of Jefferson County.  It may just be that in Jefferson County, Texas an IQ of 61 is considered exceptional.  Justice Antonin Scalia handles emergency appeals from the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals, which oversees Texas.  Scalia was asked for a stay of execution in this case, which he denied.  Sources say that Dick Cheney asked if he could be of any assistance.

In any event, this is a sad indictment on our entire nation, unless by some incredible stroke of luck the current idiot governor of Texas has seceded without telling us.  But perhaps the saddest part of the execution, it wasn’t the war criminal George W. Bush or Texas population control expert, Rick "I Can Only Remember Two Things At A Time" Perry.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Responsible comment (and Rick Perry's IQ certificate) invited.

Resignation Eve Is Upon Us Once Again

Hi, Ed Venture here. 

Way back in 2006 I stumbled across a bit of this very old, well-know verse that I thought would be fun to share with everyone at this special time of year.  It’s an age-old seasonal ditty and this being the eve of my favorite American holiday and all.  I wasn't sure I remembered all of the words correctly but I rendered them to the best of my recollection in 2006, and I may have been overzealous and inadvertently added a few verses that didn’t exist at all.  But, it’s full of holiday magic and joy – a favorite of children and adults throughout the ages so read it to your children and grandchildren to keep this festive tradition alive.  Now without further ado, in honor of August 8-9, 1974, a moment in history, which our Founders would surely have savoured, I bring you…

Twas the night before Resignation

Somebody get those damn Jews out of here!

Twas the night before Resignation, when all through the house
Richard Nixon was cornered, like a trapped diseased mouse.
His burglars had screwed it tho they burgled with care,
His cover-up in ruins, soon the end would be there.

The Congress were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of impeachment danced in their heads.
Sam Irvin with his gavel, exposed all the crap,
And roused our democracy from a long winter’s nap.

So all o’er the land there arose such a clatter,
Even the public could see what was the matter.
And there it was every day on TV like a flash,
Then everyone knew the president was trash.

It was hard to imagine this crook being regal
Tho he said, “If the president does it then it is not illegal.”
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But his lies all exposed and the end of his career.

A great day for democracy, it happened so quick,
What could be worse than that horrid old Dick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And all those were sentenced and each one by name!

"Now Haldeman! now, Erlichman! now, Mitchell and Dean!
On, Colson! On, Liddy!, oh my what a scene!
They all came a tumbling from the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

‘Tis the eve of impeachment –Oh please just once more
So much fun to be had, who knows what’s in store,
This appointed dry-drunk liar with his head up his butt.
Must be ripped from the Peoples’ House and his prison door shut.

Yes we did it one time not so long ago
Said it couldn’t be done, well how could we know.
Who knows what can happen when clear thinking rules,
Maybe we can get rid of this new batch of fools.

A long train of abuses and usurpations once again stains us all,
By Constitution, our right and our duty - this Despot must fall.
Again let’s take back our nation from thieves,
Then lock them away and dispose of the keys.

It’s that time of the season, to excise George the king,
The land of the free and that sort of thing.
And I say to you all, Power To The People, Out Of Sight,
More Impeachment to all, and to all a good-night!

“The Dick is out but we’re still getting f*&%$d”  sg, 1974

Ed Venture reporting

Enjoy this great American holiday and vote responibly in November.

Cheney v. Palin

Ex-Veep Verbally Violates Perpetually-Vexed Vixen

Half-Term Governor, Full-Time Half-Wit Comes To Defense Of Self

The Alaska Poopline

August 1, 2012

Simple Sarah is back, haunted not surprisingly, by the ghosts of vice presidents past and future.  The smell of selecting a running mate for Willard “W-2” Romney is in the air, either that or BP farted again.  That’s the ghost of vice president future.  I’m pretty sure Sarah isn’t coveting that post right now, but I could be wrong; she’s a veritable piñata of brainless baubles.  I’m sure she still expects to be asked to join the Romney ticket.  I would pay to see that.

  

However, it’s the ghost of vice president past that has the Tea Party sweetheart’s panties in a bunch, this time defending herself against Dick President, Vice Cheney.  The man-with-the-stolen-heart growled that John McCain made a mistake choosing Ms. Pinhead Palin as his running mate in 2008 adding that she wasn’t capable of being president.  Cheney should know just how important this is since he was president for at least four years after his running mate was appointed to the job by the Supreme Court.  McCain didn’t take too kindly to Cheney’s backseat driveling…four years after the fact.  McCain countered that he and Cheney “had strong disagreements as to whether we should torture people or not. I don’t think we should have.” 

As you may recall, Cheney was asked by George W. Whatever to help him find a running mate for the 2000 election appointment and Cheney found George’s running mate in Cheney’s bathroom mirror.  Who knew that Cheney had a reflection?

Petulant Pageant Participant Opens Mouth, Takes Dump

The She-Gorilla From Wasilla, never one to waste an opportunity to waste an opportunity, jumped in front of the first camera she could find, coming to her own defense as only she could.  Princess Palin vigorously refudiated the unprovoked attack perpetrated by the metastatic lesion on our nation’s history that is Dick Cheney.  “Seeing as how Dick – excuse me, Vice President Cheney – never misfires, then evidently he’s quite convinced that what he had evidently read about me by the lamestream media, having been written, what I believe is a false narrative over the last four years, evidently Dick Cheney believed that stuff and that’s a shame,”*  Palin said.  Apparently Palin’s English as a Third Language lessons are, as one might have said, if one was inclined so as if, beginning to, as it could be considered to be causing some improved ability in the speaking of it.

In Cheney’s defense, he hasn’t shot anyone in the face in several years…as far as we know.  He does after all live in Wyoming, the least populated state in the Union.  Coincidence?  If Cheney shoots someone in the face in Wyoming do they make a sound?

*really and truly an actual quote

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment invited.

Et Tu Brits

Socialists On Parade

Wake Up And Smell The Marxists

London, USSR

July 28, 2012

There are many threats to America across the globe.  I’m not sure but I think there’s still an Axis of Evil out there somewhere and they probably still have WMD.  Super genius Alan West warned us about all those communists in Congress who hate America.  Michelle Bachmann and other brave Republican’ts are still beating the drum desperately trying to alert us to the Muslim Brotherhood infiltration of the federal government, starting with the radical-Muslim-Kenyan-socialist-usurper at the top just waiting to take all our guns and hand America over to his Ayatollah.  Fortunately we do have some friends out there, like Pakistan, Saudi Arabia, 20% of Afghanistan and twelve people in Iraq…oh, and let’s not forget Poland –they’re still our friend, right?

But now, one of our most special friends, Great Britain has stabbed us right in the back – on international television.  Judas, Brutus, Benedict Arnold, Prescott Bush move over.  There’s a new ex-friend in town.  The whole world must know how hard we are fighting to avoid falling victim to socialized medicine in this country.  We are practically the only civilized nation left who hasn’t destroyed their entire social structure by providing decent health care to all our citizens and we’re insanely (literally) proud of our unflagging resolve on this issue.  But somebody out there seems to forget who the boss around here is.  Those queen-loving, foreign socialists, The Brits had the nerve to celebrate their national health care service in front of the entire world during the opening ceremony of the 2012 Summer Olympics.  Like it’s something to be proud of.  What a bunch of wankers.  And I thought we had such a Special Relationship.  Not even the dreaded Chinese tried to pull a stunt like that when we let them have the Olympics.  And they own us.  From now on, nobody else gets the Olympics until they learn how to behave.

Luckily, Willard Romney went in there and showed them who’s boss.  Romney, who is in the vanguard for recognizing the immediate and dire threat to American security posed by the Soviet Union, will not roll over for anyone…with the possible exception of the NRA, the Tea Party, the Birthers, the 1%, the Swiss banks, the Cayman Islands, Donald Trump and the Chinese.  First The Mighty Mitt insulted the Prime Minister, the Mayor of London and the entire United Kingdom by doubting their level of preparedness for the 2012 Olympics, set to begin the day after Willard’s slagging of the Brits.  Then he waxed ignorant about his secret meeting with the head of Britain’s very secret intelligence agency MI6.  The first rule of MI6?  You don’t talk about MI6.  You may not know this, I certainly didn’t, but we’re not running for president of the United States…again.  MI6 is barely acknowledged by the British government (its very existence only admitted in 1994), and one just does not go around bragging about meeting with them.  That is, unless one is Willard Romney, and your country has just slapped us in our grossly uninsured face. 

Needless to say, the British Press was none too impressed with our soon-to-be-defeated presidential candidate.  One British tabloid editor tweeted: “Serious dismay in Whitehall at Romney debut. ‘Worse than Sarah Palin.’ ‘Total car crash.’ Two of the kinder verdicts.”  Others wondered if they were looking at another George W. Bush.  A Romney spokesmonkey wasted no time in defending the hair candidate, “You better believe it you limey bastards.  Americans are no dummies.  That’s why we fought so hard to throw off your socialist rule back in…back in the day a hundred or whatever years ago.  You and those French commies that forced us to have slaves.  We know that the best way to pull ourselves up by our own economic bootstraps is 1) lower taxes on the richest job creators, 2) kill Obamacare, 3) start a couple more wars with, I don’t know maybe Iran or Syria or China or, yeah I’m going there – the Soviet Union and 4) elect us a whi…a real Anglo-Saxon type American who grew up rich and knows how to hide money from the government's socialist paws.  That’s all I’m gonna say.  If you want more info just follow me on the Tweeter.”

In other news, I can’t wait until those loser climate scientists finally give up their pathetic global climate change hoax.  Maybe then the brutal drought devastating our nation and burning up huge tracts of land across the globe will pack up and leave.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (and real socialism) invited.

Beck-mann

Bach-Mann:The Dim Wit Rises

Oh, Brother(hood) Who Art Thou?

Land of Make Believe

July 20, 2012

Now we have protesters in Egypt, pelting Hillary Clinton’s motorcade with shoes and tomatoes and screaming “Monica, Monica,” because… hope you sitting down…they’re watching too much Glen Beck.  These Egyptians, paying us back for The Bangles by walking like an American –albeit Glen Beck - are angry at America because the Egyptian people elected the Muslim Brotherhood candidate.  The Muslim Brotherhood appears to be about as anti-American as anyone could hope for, with the exception of good old drug-damaged, IQ-challenged Beck, who of course believes that Obama is a radical-Marxist-Muslim himself.  Stay crazy my friend.

The reliably-insane Michelle Bachmann would seem to be trying to one-up Bat-Shit-Beck screeching that Barack Obama’s secret plan for a Muslim take-over of America is being aided and abetted by Hillary Clinton’s deputy chief of staff, Huma Abedin – a Muslim-American, who has surely suffered enough indignity as the wife of former congressman and body-part-texting artiste and fervent Zionist, Anthony Wiener.  Bachmann, who serves on the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence, and four other particularly loony Republican’ts called on inspectors general in the State, Homeland Security, Defense and Justice Departments to investigate "potential Muslim Brotherhood infiltration" of the Obama administration by Abedin, presumably because of her flagrant not-so-whiteness and Muslimness.  Even John McCain couldn’t take any more.  McCain stood up on the floor of the Senate to repudiate Bachmann’s "specious and degrading attacks," adding, "These attacks have no logic, no basis and no merit. And they need to stop. They need to stop now."

House Speaker John Boehner, for once not moved to tears, was forced to respond to questions about Bachmann’s attack on Abedin with, “I think accusations like this being thrown around are pretty dangerous.”  However, when asked if this unhinged, McCarthyesque behavior should result in Bachmann being removed from the intelligence committee (and probably anything else with the word intelligence in it) Boehner said, "I don’t know that that’s related at all."  Huh?

There is no other explanation for this obvious misdirection but to assume that Beck and Bachmann have a secret cadre of buffoons planted in Egypt.  It is clear that Beck, Bachmann and their fellow travelers intend to turn the Egyptians still fighting for secular democracy into the Tea Party.  George W. Bush said that American democracy was God’s gift to humanity; apparently he was, as always, wrong.  It seems God’s gift to humanity was stupidity.  We are Dumb All Over*.

In other news, America is once again shocked and saddened by the weekly senseless slaughter of innocent people by a whack-job with a gun.  Luckily the president took swift, meaningful action; he courageously called for a “day of prayer and reflection” and ordered flags to be lowered to half-mast.  That should finally put a stop to all the tragic gun violence in America.  As always, Second Amendment jihadists insist that the important lesson to take from this horrifying calamity is that, thanks to our one unassailable freedom, another unstable white guy was able to exercise his god-given right to have firearms.  Can I get an Amen…or maybe a WTF.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (and stupidity at half mast) invited.

*Frank Zappa

Willard is W-2

Romney’s Bane

On The Campaign Trial

July 18, 2012

I realize the Republican’ts are trying, with every ounce of strength a bunch of lily-livered old white dudes can muster, to unite behind their least-favorite-presidential-candidate-of-all-time, Willard M. Romney, but this latest attempt to prop up the richest, second-most-clueless-man ever to get this close (alright, maybe third if you count Dan Quayle) to the nation’s highest office makes even me, an avowed non-Republican’t, feel uncomfortable.  Don’t get me wrong, I wish the guy’s hair would fall out overnight, scaring off a solid 90% of his voting base, but some things cut across all differences.  After all, we are all just mortal beings, sharing a small planet - albeit in the process of melting, orbiting a mediocre little star in a vast galaxy - much of which is owned by W. Romney - who I call W-2.  All of us, that is, with the possible exception of one Willard M. Romney, whose birth certificate I have yet to inspect for, 1) authenticity, 2) proof he was not born in Mexico where his great-grandfather fled to in order to maintain his Mor(m)on harem, and 3) proof that he actually was born and not manufactured in China.

Poor Willard, he’s fighting to figure out how he feels about so many things, like his time at Bain Capital.  He’s trying to figure out when he left Bain, what he did while he was there, where he hid all his money, how he amassed an IRA that would take normal non-corporate people several lifetimes to build legally.  These are all difficult decisions even for Mr. Etch-a-sketch.  

As if all that wasn’t enough to drive a Mor(m)on to drink, his helpers are not helping so much. Romney surrogate and former chief of staff to George H.W. Bush, John Sununu, clearly not the sharpest crayon in the box, was evidently let off his leash too early, sputtering, “I wish this president would learn how to be an American,” shortly before his head exploded.  Sununu later apologized for “using those words.”  Not, of course for the disgusting sentiments they represented, just the actual words.  Then fellow Republican’t John “I-Lost-Five-Of-Our-Planes-In-Vietnam- and-Can’t-Remember-How-Many-Houses-I-Have” McCain, trying to deflect attention from just about everyone clamoring for Willard’s tax returns insisted he didn’t reject Romney as his running mate in 2008 because of anything to do with dodgy taxes.  McCain said he chose Palin “because we thought that Sarah Palin was the better candidate.”  Just so we’re clear - the McCain team thought that Sarah Palin, the moron’s moron, was a better candidate for vice president than “Mitt” Romney.  Sarah Palin.  McCain declined to speculate on whether or not he still felt that way.  Oh, the humanity.

In other news of the mentally and morally deficient, George W. Bush was interviewed in some basement, by some unknown yahoo for the prestigious network -You Tube, not to be confused with You Tool.  With his signature-style folksy/moronic talking ability, the 43^rd “president” told the unknown interviewer, "Look, eight years was awesome. You know, I was famous and I was powerful, but I have no desire for fame and power anymore."  Thank God for small favors, though not for the eight “awesome” years he allowed this assbag to befoul our White House, or for allowing his dad’s Supreme Court to appoint him.  The ways in which God works seem to get mysteriouser and mysteriouser.  It just figures that America would force a black guy to clean up Bush’s mess and then blame him for making the mess he so desperately is trying to clean up, hindered at every single step by all those who thought the Worst Eight Years in American History were “awesome.”  The horror.  The horror.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (and more crappy, stupid presidents) invited.