Natural
disaster crushes The Bahamas: Dorian leaves widespread devastation
Der Furor made a big show of announcing he was cancelling a
planned trip to Poland in order to monitor Hurricane Dorian.the Prince of Putts neglected to mention that
he would be monitoring the situation from one of his shithole golf courses.
Much less-natural disaster still carving out a path of utter destruction
To put the half-melted wax cherry on top of his latest shit-sundae,
the Don Revolt-y, Man of Dementia trotted out a pathetically doctored weather
map “proving” that his idiotic lie about Alabama being in the path of Dorian:
Notice the fake Sharpie bubble on the fake map
and the not-so-sharpie bubblehead selling it
For those of you keeping score, it is actually illegal,
against the law and very naughty to alter a government weather map.So, do not try this at home unless, apparently,
you work in the Oval Office.
Don Revolt-y and Stench-o Pence-a
This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day…now
with more pictures.
America's biggest loser took time away from his busy golfing
schedule - it was only five minutes, but hey, what do want, the guy is donating
all of his legal pay (at least he says he is), and working for nothing.Well, not for nothing exactly.He is raking in money from any number of people
– including Bill Barr who is tossing his boss $30K to rent space at Chrump’s DC
hotel (which in itself is a violation of the law) for a holiday party, and Mike
“Let us not forget just how vile and dangerous this phony religious zealot is”
Pence, who made sure to stay at a Chrump resort 180 miles away from his
meetings in Ireland so that his boss could reap untold profits.Did Chrump mention that he's really
rich?I think he did.So many times, it simply cannot be true.Another way we know this is not true is that
if it was true, he would show us his tax returns, but he says it anyway.
As I was saying, the giant cheese puff that walks like a man
(sort of) took a break from cheating at golf to weigh in of Hurricane Dorian...“Not
sure I'm not sure I ever heard of a Category 5, I knew it existed.I've seen some Category 4s, you don't even
see them that much, but a Category 5 is something that I don't even know if
I've heard the term other than I know it's there, and that's the ultimate, and
that's what we have unfortunately.” And
with that, America became just a little dumber and fell even deeper into its
Chrump-induced depression/coma, the likes of which no one has ever seen other
than when they saw it before…the last time Chrump said or did something that
had anyone with a functional heart or mind weeping and vomiting. Chrump, who said he was carefully monitoring the hurricane
situation from his golf course, also spent a good bit of the holiday weekend
rattling off some 120 tweets, including– not for the first time, mind you –
what to all appearances was satellite imagery that officials admitted bore all
the markings of a spy-satellite image in a tweet taunting Iran.Yes, this is the qresident of the United
States almost literally waving his tiny, little pecker around in public,
thinking he is getting one over on his enemies.His main enemy would appear to be the United States of America. Our Commander-in-cheat also felt it necessary to insert
himself further into the devastating hurricane that had the temerity to push
his toxic orange ass from the headlines by tweeting more of his patently stupid
shit:
Surprising to no one, Chrump must have been tweeting from
his perch on the toilet since his information was clearly pulled right out of
his ass.The National Weather Service (NWS)
of Birmingham, Alabama, acting like a good first responder, quickly tried to assure
a needlessly worried Alabama that, no, in fact they were not in the path of Dorian,
though they could not say that Alabama was any safer from the less natural disaster
that is Donald Chrump than anyone else.
Chrump, even when he is dead wrong, will not put up with a
bunch actual facts that make him look bad or stupid, or pathetic or worthless,
perhaps in part, because no one does it better than Chrump himself.In this case, qresident shit-for-brains took
about 36 hours to come up with a worthless, pathetic and incredibly stupid –
not to mention completely false – rejoinder to NWS Birmingham:
“It’s a big problem.It’s a mental problem, it’s a big problem.”
Donald Trump, September 1, 2019, after blathering on
and lying endlessly about doing something about gun violence.
I have to admit that I am starting to come around to the
theory that mental illness is responsible for all these mass shootings in
America.My take might not be exactly
what all the firearm fetishists have in mind though.
Moscow Mitch McConnell and his Republican’t/NRA minions,
including Dumb Donald, would have you believe that all these shooters are
mentally ill.But, it is Triple M and
his gun-loving goons who are mentally disturbed.Oh sure, the shooters might be 40 or 50 cards
short of a full deck, but without the help of the mentally malfunctioning
legislators, who to be fair owe their very existence to the gun lobby, these
cortically crippled murderers would not have such easy access to weapons of
mass murder and mayhem.
Let us not forget that the first order of business of the
current administration was passing a law that made it easier for mentally ill
people to legally own guns.So tell me, who
seems less mentally competent here?
As is often the case, there is much wringing of hands over
the fact that we do not know the reason for a particular episode of mass
murder.The only reason we need to know
is a simple, well-worn four-letter word: GUNS.
Just so we understand, the same deranged doofuses who refuse
to acknowledge the existence of the increasingly palpable and damaging climate
crisis, refuse to admit to the obvious gun crisis. Our government will not allow research into
gun violence in America.One cannot help
but wonder, why the fuck not?
Then there is Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council –
classified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center in 2010 – a
birther who believed (believes?) Barack Obama was a Muslim, who weighed in
after this latest Texas shooting spree, “We've taught our kids they come about
through chance through primordial slime and then we're surprised they treat
their fellow Americans like dirt!It's
time we talk about the result of the left's systematic march through our
institutions, driving religious expression from the public square.Perkins complained that children are not
being taught that they are "created in the image of God.He added, “We've driving religion from our
public life and we're shocked that we no longer have morality and we no longer value
human life.”Yeah, that’s the problem.
Same shit, different day, another mass murder brought to you
by your Republican’t friends in Washington, DC and the NRA.
Finally, we have Beto O’Rourke’s raw, hot take, “Not sure
how many gunmen. Not sure how many people have been shot. Don’t know how many
people have been killed [or] the condition of those who have survived. Don’t know what the motivation is. Do not yet
know the firearms that were used or how they acquired them.But we do know this is fucked up. We do know that this has to stop in our
country. There is no reason that we have
to accept this as our fortune, as our future, as our fate.”
Unfortunately, not all of us know that this is fucked up.
SURPRISE!It’s too
soon to talk about gun control again.Five dead, 21 injured in our regularly scheduled mass shooting in Texas
yesterday.Ho hum.Just your average blood-spattered day in the
good old U.S. of A.
We always hear, “Guns don’t kill people, people kill people.”Even our esteemed leader, albeit armed with a
decimal point before any of the numbers in his IQ, who spells his name wrong,
agrees with this.In fact, he said after
the previous most-recent mass murder in Texas, “It’s not the gun that pulls the
trigger, it’s the person.”This of
course was in response to the uproar over the August 3rd El Paso,
Texas and August 4th Dayton, Ohio murder sprees, but well after the
July 28th Gilroy, California mass killing.Oddly enough, the one common denominator is
something called guns.You know, that
about which nothing may be said.Because, as always, it is too soon/too late.
Nobody can figure out why there is so much anger and gun
violence.
Some people wonder if the
Republican’ts can do anything…whatsoever.
Maybe we should make killing people illegal so people won’t
do it anymore.If that doesn’t work,
then we need to outlaw people.Or maybe
just stop people from being allowed to have guns.If the guns are just lying around, minding
their own business, they will never be accomplices to murder.Wait, you say it already is illegal to kill
other people?Even if you are
white?So, maybe it is laws that kill
people.Not guns, not people, not as
Chris Rock brilliantly suggested – bullets, it must be laws.Someone should take a good long look at that
Second Amendment thing.Or maybe it is
Republican’ts who kill people by insisting guns are not the problem and
refusing to interfere in any way with anyone’s God-given right to shoot large
numbers of innocent people.After all,
their leader – Moscow Mitch – happily calls himself the Grim Reaper; that does
not sound like someone who shuns the senseless murder of countless innocent
people.
Naturally, new gun laws go into effect today in
Texas.Will these laws be a step in the
right direction?Will they put the
brakes on senseless mass shootings?Are
you from outer space?The new Texas laws
make it easier to carry guns in foster homes, churches, schools, and presumably
in the womb.Texas needs to pass a law
making it illegal to offer thoughts and prayers after every mass shooting that
the state practically begs for.
Chrump still dreams of shooting
someone on 5th Avenue
It is patently unfair to blame Donald Chrump for all of these
mass shootings, it’s not like he is the one pulling the trigger just because he
is a trigger.It’s not like several of
these shooters – the guys who actually did pull the triggers – explicitly named
Chrump as inspiration for their heinous acts.It’s not like he spews violent rhetoric everywhere he goes, or relentlessly
encourages hatred of certain racially distinct groups while kidnapping and
caging their children or deporting those who will die without the medical care
they currently receive in this country, or promises to cover legal expenses for
violent acts in his name, or anything like that.It is not like he engenders a total lack of
respect for the law by offering presidential pardons to those who would commit
illegal acts that suit his purposes.
Artist’s rendering
I. Mangrey unarmed. Think and pray...and then contact your elected representatives.
“It’s the economy,
stupid.”Bill Clinton campaign mantra,
1992
“It’s the environment, stupid.”Hopefully, the Democratic campaign mantra, 2020
Chrump’s Environmental Prevention Agency (EPA) is poised to
roll back regulations on methane.Because, what better way to show China who is boss than by making it
crystal clear to them that we do not give even a tiny little rabbit poop about their
pathetic climate hoax, and pumping more carbon and filth into the
atmosphere.Take that Chairman Mao, or
whoever it is that runs that fake country.
This latest attack on everything Obama comes right after
July 2019 became the latest month to become the hottest month on record since we
started keeping such records.Even
Exxon, Shell and BP oppose Chrump’s latest roll-backs.Of course, these Earth-fucking behemoths are
mainly concerned that their market for fracking the Earth to death and selling natural
gas might be negatively impacted.
But Wait, There’s More
The Chrump Crime Syndicate is rolling back 84 environmental
regulations in order to ensure we have as much toxic waste spewed into the air,
water and directly into your face, as possible.Who cares that 67 percent of the American public believe the U.S. should
do more to fight the climate crisis, and 56 percent say climate crisis is an
emergency.
Chrump told a horrified press conference at the G-7 Summit
(after having skipped the climate meeting at the summit and lying about why):
“In a nutshell, I want the cleanest water on earth.* I want the cleanest air on earth.*I’m an environmentalist.** A lot of people don’t understand that.*** I’ve done more environmental impact statements than anybody that’s ever been president or vice president or anything even
close to president. And I think** I know
more about the environment than most people.**” Donald J.
Trump, August 25, 2019
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Donald Chrump – an amoeba
among presidents, the man who has clearly taken the ‘mental’ out of environmental.And he is doing everything he can to take the
environment out behind the barn and shoot it in the
back of the head.
Donald Trump's lies are
getting more frequent, more brazen and in some cases even more bizarre, if that
is possible.I will have to agree with
him on one issue though; we really need to build a wall.We may differ, however, on the precise
location of this very, very important, beautiful wall, and if it can be built
properly and it a timely fashion, I would gladly pay for it.We desperately need this wall to protect our
nation from the horrific onslaught that threatens our sanity, our health and
our very way of life.There is a dangerous
hole allowing poisons to inundate America.Everyone knows what it is, everyone knows where it is.We need to plug it up right now before
another single toxic emission leaches out into the world.
Build the wall!Shut that hole!
This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.
Is It Hot in Here, Or Is the Fucking Planet On Fire
August 26, 2019
When autocrats speak, significant numbers of people
listen.Some number of those act on what
they hear, and it is anything but hilarity that ensues.All of the most brutal, murderous dictators
in history had loyal, sizeable followings.
America has birthed her own dictator; he is not yet brutal
or murderous, just moronic, greedy, narcissistic and insufferable.When Donald Chrump speaks, armed white
nationalists listen.Sometimes they go
and shoot up a bunch of innocent people.Sometimes they target certain people that Chrump constantly denigrates –
to put it nicely. Fortunately, there was
someone around to convince him (and it was no easy task) that setting off a
nuclear weapon inside a hurricane to stop the hurricane was not a good
idea.Apparently, Chrump has brought
this up more than once.
Chrump explaining how to stop hurricanes
and windmills with nuclear weapons.
When Brazil’s Bolsonaro (which I believe is Brazilian for Chrump)
speaks, farmers set fire to the Amazon forest – our planet’s “lungs” – because
their deranged leader decreed that the forest is in the way of profits –
specifically, growing soy beans to feed to cows.Fires are fairly common in this part of the world,
but fires in the Amazon are up 77 percent since last year.It is much less common to have 48 lightning
strikes over the Arctic Circle
and massive fires in Siberia…oh yeah, and in Greenland, the Canary Islands and Alaska.
At least Brazilians have relegated their madman to an under-30
percent approval rating, unlike their American counterparts, who still rate
Chrump in the 40s.This, despite the
fact that Chrump continues his war on the reality of the ongoing climate
crisis.SAD.
The Chinese are really playing this whole climate hoax thing
to the hilt.Fortunately, our mayonnaise-brained
leader, whose election victory was a Russian hoax, is still having none of
it.He knows a hoax when he thinks he
sees one.A big reason Chrump was
throwing one of his countless hissy-fits – this time about having to attend the
G-7 summit – is that there is too much talk about the environment.
Someone was able to talk him into going, probably by
promising to Tivo Fux and Friends and the rest of the reality-challenged Fux
line-up so he could watch all of it when he got home.
While at the G-7, Brainless Leader skipped out on the
Climate Crisis meeting so he could tweet some more insane bullshit.Reporters were told that Chrump instead was
busy in bilateral meetings with Angela Merkel and Narendra Modi, both of whom,
oddly enough, were at the very meeting Chrump was definitely not at.
Der Furor was again asked if he believed there was a climate
crisis.Naturally, he replied with psychotic
lies and raving idiocy we have come to expect. “In a nutshell, I want the cleanest water on
earth. I want the cleanest air on earth.I’m an environmentalist. A lot of people don’t understand that. I’ve
done more environmental impact statements ... than anybody that’s ever been
president or vice president or anything even close to president.”
We’ll meet again, don't know where, don't know when
Chrump continues his death
spiral trade war with China.The war he
was apparently born to wage.He said he was
“the chosen one.”He told us trade wars
were easy to win.Yes I know, Chrump
also told us he was a “very stable genius.”And then, that he was “an extremely stable genius.”He also assured us that he was “the
least racist person in the world.”You cannot take him at his word.Or his “hair.”In fact, if you are anything like me, you
cannot take him.Period.
“I am the chosen one and I hereby order you to evaporate.”
Chrump knows, in whatever way it can be said that our
single-celled president knows something, that he is responsible for the current
burgeoning economic melt-down.This only
bothers him because it might hinder his re-election bid.Despite this existential threat to his precipitously
inflated ego, Chrump is not the least bit interested in, and in any event
wholly incapable of fixing the problem.Instead, his talent – again, such as it is – lies in convincing the
easily convinced that everything is whatever he says it is.Chrump knows how to work the ‘con’ in
convincing.
“Just remember, what
you are seeing and what you are reading
is not what's happening.”
Donald J. Trump, July 24, 2018
This has been your Paying Attention Thought For The Day.
Get Ready to Duck and Cover: Chrump is About to Go Noocular
August 23, 2019
While yelling at reporters about his mission to win his holy
trade war with China, Donald Chrump turned his Orange Dye #2 kisser toward the
sky (someone apparently told him where people of faith believe God is) and said,
“I am the chosen one.”
One cannot help but wonder who he thinks chose him.It clearly was not any of the raft of Gods in
whom Chrump does not believe. It is no longer all the farmers and truckers and American consumers his trade war is crushing. It absolutely
was not a significant majority of the American electorate.But, I digress.
Coming hot on the heels of him re-tweeting some brain-dead conspiracy
nut insisting that Chrump was like “the King of Israel” and “the second coming
of God”, Donald has become America’s very own Idi Amin. Or perhaps the second coming of Charles
Manson.
A re-tweet from the qresident
Chrump’s brain is going up in flames faster than Brazil’s
Amazon rain forest and Siberia (yes, Siberia is on fire), it is melting faster
than the Polar Ice Cap and is less predictable than a horde of wild, rabid monkeys
hopped up on goofballs.
“No global warming, no
recession and by the way…excuse me, NO COLLUSION.”
It’s not like Chrump was ever a very stable genius or
anything, but he is almost completely gone now.You
need not take my word for it, instead enjoy his latest word-expelling lollapalooza:
“But we also have to remember, a gun doesn’t pull the trigger, a person does.
We have great mental illness.”Yes, we
have great mental illness here in the good old U.S. of A.Some would say we have the best mental
illness, maybe in history.A large percentage of which
currently roams the White House.
Notice the fake Sharpie bubble on the fake map 
