Fun Fact/Question For The Day

Refer Sanity

October 7, 2022

Joe Biden announced yesterday that he is pardoning 6500 prisoners in federal prison for simple possession of cannabis. He has requested that governors “pardon simple state marijuana possession offenses. Just as no one should be in a federal prison solely for possessing marijuana, no one should be in a local jail or state prison for that reason, either.” Biden also called on the Attorney General and Secretary of Health and Human Services to review the multi-talented herb’s status as a Schedule One controlled substance.

Biden announces major changes to federal policy on marijuana.
He seemed have a very dry mouth during the announcement.
Coincidence? Is this why he wears sunglasses so much?

Just thought you might be curious.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact/Question For The Day.

Repercussion Discussion

Break The Fucking Glass Already, It's An Emergency

October 6, 2022

Many politicians, political pundits and regular folks just like you worry that if Democrats do things like expand the Extreme Court* or fuck with the filibuster, Ratpublicans will someday exact revenge by doing something horrible. Worse than what they have already done. You mean like nominate, enable, protect and defend a sociopathic, narcissistic life-long conman and racist? You mean like stealing two Supreme Court seats and installing fascist theocrats who promised to overturn decades of rights and precedent, then lied to Congress about their intentions in order to get confirmed, and then did what they swore they wouldn't do?

The supremely unpopular Roberts Court sans makeup

Even if they could do worse than what they have been doing for decades, there is simply no point in worrying what they might do. Ratpublicans will always do the worst possible thing their damaged lizard brains can “think” of. It matters not whether Dems piss them off or kiss their ass. They will always play the victim, embrace hatred, ignorance and greed, and do worse than actual humans would ever imagine. Ratpublicans can never be bested at being the worst.

Former NRA spokesmodel Dana Loesch could not have been clearer in responding to brain-damaged (not that there’s anything wrong with that, as long as that damaged brain does not end up in the Senate) Herschel Walker’s latest perfidy – being outed for paying for an abortion despite his absolutist stance on abortions:

“What I'm about to say is in no means a contradiction or a compromise of a principle. And please keep in mind that I am concerned about one thing, and one thing only at this point. I don't care if Herschel Walker paid to abort endangered baby eagles. I want control of the Senate.”

Just another flaming example of Ratpublican “principles” in a nutshell. Infinity is too small a number to quantify these examples. And they will not stop as long as they have a voice in our politics. And hypocrisy does not begin to describe the immeasurable chasm between what they say to get power and what they do once they steal it.

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* In a recent Marquette Law School poll, 51% of respondents said they either strongly or somewhat favored increasing the number of justices on the Supreme Court, versus 49% who were strongly or somewhat opposed. Expansion was supported by 51% of independents and 72% of Democrats. It was favored by only 27% of Republicans. Go figure. Go fuck themselves.

I. Mangrey reporting. I hold these truths to be self-evident. You?

Broken News

Ginni Take A Hike

October 2, 2022

Hey, remember queen dingbat Ginni Thomas – wife of (In)Justice Clarence Thomas? If not, please let me know the secret to your success. I only bring this up because Mrs. Uncle Thomas just spent some quality time with the January 6 Committee.

Ginni was in constant contact with the likes of Mark Meadows, John Eastman (former law clerk for someone named Clarence Thomas) and other major players in Trump’s coup plot. She also repeatedly contacted several secretaries of state, attempting to persuade them to overturn the legitimate election results. Why on earth would anyone give even half a shit what a nutbag like Ginni Thomas thought about anything. Could it be because her husband would be ruling on events from the bench of the highest court in the land? Or because of her sparkling personality and extraordinary wit and wisdom. I’ll wait while you mull it over.

One wonders if the Thomasses know that their love was illegal in this country for a very long time and could have gotten one or both of them killed in many states once upon a time.

The admitted, and proud of it MAGAt Thomas is suffering under two important delusions, and undoubtedly some number of other lesser delusions. 1) that the 2020 election, despite voluminous evidence to the contrary, was stolen, and 2) that she is the smartest person in the room. Ginni Thomas would not even be the smartest person in the room if she was in solitary confinement.

Thomas also lied to the committee saying that she never shared her treasonous activities concerning the January 6 insurrection with her husband, with whom she is inseparable, according the both Thomases. Ginni also texted Mark Meadows three weeks after the election about “a conversation with her best friend” in the context of agonizing over Biden’s stolen election and it being the “greatest Heist (sic) of our History (sick).”

Thomas waddling into her Jan 6 Committee testimony
beaming like a giddy schoolgirl heading to the prom,
excited to see her dream date, who never showed up

Thomas has not been charged with anything and was only brought in as a witless…I mean witness. She happily testified to the committee that she continues to believe that the 2020 election was stolen. There never was, nor will there ever be any proof that there was any significant fraud by Democrats, though there were numerous examples of Ratpublican voter fraud, criminal interference and, oh yeah the fucking attempted coup.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled happy thoughts.

Marge And In Charge*

Fascists Will Not Replace Us…Hopefully

October 1, 2022

“Christian Nationalism is what America needs.”
Ignorant sociopath Marjorie Taylor Greene,
before congratulating Italy’s new fascist leader

The season of the Jewish High Holidays is upon us. It is a time when Jews the world over take time to reflect, atone and forgive, trying to take a break from the latest resurgence of anti-Semitism across the globe. Just the other day, a member of Congress put all of this to a supreme test. The unfortunate creature known as Marjorie Traitor Greene (I may have the middle name wrong, but it’s the thought that counts) once again made the tragic mistake of opening her mouth for something other than eating or yawning, or even vomiting.

The gun-happy goon from Georgia is the Class Dunce of Congress – she is allowed to stay in the room with the rest of the class, but because of her violent rhetoric and threatening behavior from the moment she took the oath of office which she clearly did not understand, she was banned from being on any committees. Committee assignments are pretty much all that matters while serving in Congress. Being the Congress Dunce has freed up all of Malignant Marge’s time, enabling her to hone her idiotic trolling skills, and to make videos of herself shooting feral hogs from a helicopter.

Fresh off kicking a young anti-gun-death activist who dared challenge the gun-addled grifter’s fealty to guns and mass murder, Ballistic Barbie is a woman who is afraid of cold soup and the associated, albeit imaginary, Gazpacho Police and she cringes at the thought of laboratories full of Peach Tree Dishes. Let’s just say that she is few loose screws short of a full deck of marbles.

Yes, this is an actual campaign ad

Marge and her fellow travelers continue to worship at the feet of an irreligious hate-monger who is the living embodiment of what they believe are the Seven Deadly Sins. A man has never taken confession, accepted Jesus as his personal savior (or anything else), and claims to have never done anything that would require introspection or penance.

Nonetheless, Mentally-Defective Marge was filled with glee at a recent Godless-Trump rally. She told an interviewer

We're seeing a resurgence; it's like a revival. It's really a Christian revival. I want to see the church in America come to life and save this country. Because the church in America is the American people. The Constitution was founded by Christian men.

An Open Letter To A Closed (And Incredibly Small) Mind

Dear Damaged Dipshit:

Ahem there little-brained lady. First of all, you might want to Google “separation of church and state.” Second, the Constitution was not founded, it was written. And yes, you could say it was Christian men, specifically white Christian men, and even more specifically many of whom were white Christian men who owned slaves. And just in case you’re not aware, slaves were actually people, and for some reason I’ll never understand, also Christians. Also, Church? Which church? I’m no Christian Scientist, but it is my understanding that there are quite a few churches in this country (you might also want to Google “Christian denominations”).

You may not be aware of this – since there is so much about which you are so stunningly clueless – but some of us, me included, are not what you might call Christian. Funny thing though, neither was Jesus. Did you know, Marge, that Jesus was himself an unrepentant Jew? As were all his disciples. Of course you didn’t, you poor demented, arrogant little thing. So, next time you decide to open your mouth, either just keep your foot in it, or eat something that requires extensive chewing. Either way, just shut the fuck up.

I. Mangrey

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*At least that’s what she thinks

UPDATE:

Not to be mean…okay, probably to be at least a little mean…Greene’s husband of 27 years has filed for divorce, claiming his marriage to the ever more pathic sociopath was “irrevocably broken.” According to court records, Perry Greene did not claim his long-estranged wife was herself irrevocably broken, at least not on the record. So, for Maaaadge at this point, I guess marriage is between one woman. I shudder to think what straw might have broken that camel’s back. Okay, so maybe this ended up a bit meaner than I expected. Just kidding. I wish her the worst.

She’s earned it.

I. Mangrey reporting. Long live schadenfreude.

Thought For The Day

Cloudy With A Chance Of Death And Destruction

September 29, 2022

First of all, holy shit. You’ve surely seen at least some footage of the devastation wrought by Hurricane Ian. Who would have thought Florida could get any worse? Besides its life-threatening governor, now Florida is in the midst of a life-threatening hurricane. At least the hurricane is neither a racist nor a fascist pig.

For the moment, let’s focus on Florida, because USA, USA, USA. Hopefully the loss of life will not be tragic as the clearly catastrophic structural/material damage. Unfortunately, what we are seeing is the not-too-distant future of the Flaccid Pecker State. Thanks to human technology, paired with human hubris, denial and stupidity, this will be Florida’s fate sooner than later. Unless they can jack the state up like they do with repeatedly flooded houses, most of Florida will simply be something that is excised from history books in Texas.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the day?

Schmuck Of The Day, Week, Month And Year

It Hurt So Hard I Laughed

September 28, 2022

It dawned on me a few days ago that we hadn’t updated our Fuck Joe Manchin for a while. Or, to dial back the entirely justified foul language, Schmuck, Joe Manchin. And what do you know, he suddenly shows up in the news and on my tv again after lurking in the shadows, or more likely a thick cloud of fossil fuel emissions, for several months. Anti-environment Joe is out hawking his latest attempt to speed up the climate crisis.

I found it incredibly, albeit painfully, amusing that Mansion was whining about how Democrats and Ratpublicans should be supporting his new piece-of-shit bill to ramp up fossil fuel extraction. Old King Coal’s bill proposes major federal permitting reforms that would weaken environmental review laws and clear the way for pipelines and other polluting fossil fuel infrastructure.

Dirty Sidewinder

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) called Mansion’s effort a “dirty side deal” adding, “We can listen to the fossil fuel industry and the politicians they pay or we can listen to the scientists and the environmental community to reject this side deal and eliminate the $15 billion in subsidies Congress is already providing to big oil and gas companies each and every day.” Presumably, Sanders did not include the phrase “Fuck Joe Manchin” in his remarks, though it is not unlikely that those words have passed his lips in private, or at the very least whirled around the frustrated Vermont senator’s brain from time to time. We will not venture to put those words in his mouth, but we hope to help ease them into yours.

Somehow, it always feels like Ratpublicans get into office (usually on a technicality, without a majority or mandate) and just do whatever the fuck they want. Then Democrats scratch and claw their way into office and have to struggle to get anything done thanks to the likes of fucking Joe Manchin* – great protector of corporate overlords, fossil fuels, and fucking hypocrisy.

I am not saying the following to be rude or mean, just accurate. Joe Manchin is one seriously schmucked up motherschmucker.

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*And it would be wrong to forget about fellow schmuck and senator Mitch McConnell called the “most effective first-term senator I've seen in my time in the Senate” – none other than thorn-in-the-genitals – Kyrsten “The Filibuster Is Our Friend” Sinema (?-AZ)

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Fuck yeah.

Schmuck Of The Day

Cloudy With A Chance Of Morons

September 26, 2022

Today’s “winner” needs no introduction. The reason that this individual 1 has never been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day is because for the past seven (actually 78, give-or-take) years, there has never been anyone to really top him as a bottom-feeder. Admittedly, each and every Schmuck Of The Day until today was really the runner-up. But here we are. The time has come for the King of Crap to tarnish the crown that should be his every day.

Just when you thought Donald Q Trump could not be more desperate, more absurd, more idiotic, we give you Exhibit A-hole, an exchange between Trump and Hannity from September 21, 2022 (this exchange occurred right after Trump explained that he could declassify secret documents just by thinking about it):

Trump: There’s a lot of speculation* because of the severity of the FBI raiding Mar-a-Lago, were they looking for the Hillary Clinton emails that were deleted, but they are around someplace?”

Trump, claims he declassified secret documents with his mind,

but cannot even use his mind to say words

Hannity: Wait, you’re not saying you had it…

Trump: No, they may be saying… They may have thought that it was in there. And a lot of people said the only thing that would give the kind of severity that they showed by actually coming in and raiding with many, many people is the Hillary Clinton deal**, the Russia, Russia, Russia stuff, or… I mean there are a number of things. The spying on Trump’s campaign.

Wait. What? Are these the documents he declassified with his “mind” or the ones the FBI planted? It seems that in his haste, Individual 1 forgot to mention that the Feds were also expecting to find Barack Obama’s birth certificate in there. Or maybe they thought Jimmy Hoffa was in some of those boxes.

I am not saying the following to be rude or mean, just accurate. Donald Trump is one seriously fucked up motherfucker.

Individual 1 practicing his testimony

Meanwhile…

We now know that the White House switchboard operator connected a call from the White House to a Capitol rioter while the Capitol was under siege on January 6. Hmmmm. Who was in the White House wishing they were at the Capitol that day? Maybe it was Hillary Clinton’s emails.

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*That speculation, of course was pulled directly out of Trump’s ass, shoved into his empty cranium, and ultimately frothed forth from his face sphincter in the friendly confines of Sean Hannity’s nightly hour of delusion dispensing. Even Hannity could not believe what he was hearing.

**Only one person has said this and his best bud’s head almost exploded when he heard it said.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Fuck yeah. 

Courting Individual 1 - Donald Q Trump

Kill, Cramp And Paralyze

September 24, 2022

Throughout his miserable narcissistic life, disgraced, twice-impeached, ex-one-term-president and failed insurrection leader aka Individual 1 has gotten away with literally everything but murder (unless you count the hundreds of thousands of extra dead people attributed to his mishandling of the COVID-19 pandemic). Two dozen credible accusations of sexual harassment, assault and/or rape, attempted extortion of Ukrainian President Zelenskyy, lying under oath, misuse of campaign funds to pay off sexual dalliances, election tampering, witness tampering, reality tampering, stealing an untold number of classified documents, and inciting an insurrection…who (besides Sean Hannity)* can even keep track?

We’re all representing clients suing Trump. Want in?

Today however, it seems like there is a line as long as the outside a men’s room at a major sporting event of prosecutors hoping to end the streak of this evil motherfucker. The Georgia attorney general. Southern District of New York district attorney. Attorney General of the United States. If one of these is first to nail Individual 1, does that kill the chances of all the others to exact their pound of flesh, or seeing as there are surely enough pounds of Individual 1 to go around, will each and every one get their day in court, each one setting his or her own special perjury trap (i.e., asking Individual 1 – who is incapable of not lying – a question)?

Then there is New York State Attorney General Letitia James. Granted, she had a head start, but she has just let fly with a massive 220-page civil lawsuit. According to James, Trump and his employees “violated a host of state criminal laws” and “plausibly violates federal criminal law” adding, “The pattern of fraud and deception that was used by Mr. Trump and the Trump Organization for their own financial benefit was astounding.”

Adding insult to assholery, on the same day that AG James announced her lawsuit, a three-judge appellate court panel – including two Trump appointees – smacked down the ridiculous and shamefully transparent attempt by Trump’s chosen federal judge to stop the FBI from using the documents Individual 1 stole on his way out of the White House and subsequently seized by agents last month.

There is likely no issue of Habeus Corpus here, just a colossal corpus, a veritable piñata of crimes just waiting to be whacked mercilessly until all the crimes have seen the light of day and the day in court.

Let’s all beat the crime out of him

BONUS TRACK

Bob Marley and The Wailers – Revolution

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* 

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thought For The Night

Better (Or Worse) Late Than Never

September 23, 2022

Yes, it took a while but the headline should have been...

Trump Plots Coup Then
Nation Watches Coup Plotz

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Night.