Question For The Day

Whatever It Is, I’m Against Him

June 10, 2023

Life-long criminal Donald Trump is losing his shit. Even he knows that the shit he is losing is hitting one big-ass fan. As always, he talks tough while, as always, he is precisely what he thinks he can just grab as he pleases.

However, a grand jury – made up of random American citizens – concluded that the disgraced, twice-impeached, now-twice-(so far)-indicted, failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president Donald Trump should be indicted for 31 counts under the Espionage Act. For those of you keeping score, that’s a former, albeit ersatz, president of the United States credibly (at least) accused of espionage against the country he (mis)led. Can you say Manchurian Candidate President?

From what we are hearing so far, the evidence is overwhelming. Texts, emails, visual evidence, CYA notes in real time from Trump’s own lawyers who were worried their client was entangling them in his criminal acts, recorded perfect phone calls – perfectly incriminating that is. Trump is an evidence-generating machine. Oh, and there is no shortage of witnesses to Trump’s alleged, alleged crimes.

Today's question is:

Will the American people elect a man serving a prison sentence for espionage against the United States, who has also undergone electro-convulsive therapy?

If he only had a brain

Paging Chief Bromden…

Bonus Question:

Do Trumpy Americans realize they live in the United States?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.

You're welcome.

What is your question for the day?

Fun Fact For The Day

Re-Indicted, And It Feels So Good

June 9, 2023, 11:07 AM, EST

Disgraced, twice-impeached, now-twice-(so far)-indicted, failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president Donald Trump, who was recently found liable for sexual abuse, must next appear in Florida court on Tuesday to begin his latest, though surely not his last, tussle with the law. Big law. The biggest. And Special Counsel Jack Smith, the guy who convicts war criminals in The Hague, does not appear to be someone with whom one would be wise to fuck.

Smith has indicted Josef Stallin’ on seven criminal charges related to the Espionage Act. This should be no surprise since we know that Trump had a history of divulging national security secrets throughout his time Tweeting from the White House. He will never be held accountable for those infractions, but fortunately, Treason Boy continued his nefarious nonsense after his ignominious defeat by Joe Biden, not to mention his ignominiouser coup attempt, which could very well be the subject of indictment #3 – coming soon to a legal venue near you. Could be Washington, DC, could be Georgia, could be New York, could be E. Jean Carroll taking a second bite at the asshole.

This indictment is The United States vs. Donald J. Trump, which is fitting since Trump’s administration was Donald J. Trump vs. The United States.

Mitt “Corporations-Are-People-My-Friend” Romney said that Trump “brought these charges upon himself.” Yeah, maybe, but Romney and his Fascist (nee Republican) Party visited Trump upon us all.

Remember your humiliating dinner with Donald in November 2016 Mitt?
Where you apparently just sat there and watched him eat.

Trump lawyer James Trusty said of his cretinous client, “He’s a fighter, and he’s going to come out swinging, and he’ll be fine. He’s not afraid of this thing.” That makes sense; organisms lacking complex brains don’t experience fear.

Many of Trump’s troubles seem to involve perfect phone calls.

“I would like you to do us a favor though.”

“I just want to find 11,783 votes…”

“I’ve got some great classified documents, the best classified documents,

that I declassified with my own very, very large, uh-brain.

When you’re a president, they let you do it.”

Trump is hoping he can get a more sympathetic jury in fascist Florida

Maybe he should STFU.

Just thought you might like to know.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact For The Day.

UNRELATED UPDATE

Pat Robertson is still dead. Whew.

RELATED UPDATE 2:00 PM, EST

Not seven counts. Trump hit with 37 counts.

The Good News

Thank God
No, Seriously, Thank God

June 9, 2023, 6:32 AM, EST

Lunatic televangelist, Christo-fascist Pat Robertson is dead. Don't expect him back in three days, or ever. May his death be as a blessing.

Highly Recommended Musical Interlude...

Jesus Thinks You're A Jerk

Fun Fact For The Day

Brooching The Subject

June 6, 2023

Frequent MSNBC contributor Jill Wine-Banks, who served on the team prosecuting Richard Nixon for his cover-up of the Watergate burglary, has also become known for her ornate, thematic, often whimsical brooches.

Wine-Banks chose this pin during the very much not-fake

investigation into Trump’s collusion with Russia in 2016

She picked a truly wonderful brooch for her recent appearance to discuss the state of Donald Trump’s legal status. I wasn’t quite sure I was seeing what I thought I was seeing that evening. Laughter ensued.

Yes, her brooch is exactly what it looks like…

Just thought you might like to know. Was that not in fact fun?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact For The Day.

Thought For The Day

What’s In A Number

June 5, 2023

Don’t trust anyone over 80.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

What do you think?

Fun Fact For The Day

It’s About Damn Time

June 1, 2023

Orcas To Humans: Get Off My Lawn

Orcas – aka Killer Whales – have taken up a new hobby. 

Orcas are extremely intelligent. They adapt, learn and teach their children. They exhibit many of the same emotions as humans; they have joy, fear, malevolence, and they have complex social structures. Also, they are apex predators.

Groups of Orcas have taken to sinking sailing ships. They have attacked more than 250 yachts in the strait of Gibraltar since 2020. Why, you might ask. I say who cares. Scientists posit that this might be revenge for the injuring of an Orca matriarch, who along with her offspring, decided enough is enough.

Orcas doing a happy dance after sinking another boat

When I heard this news, I thought it was one of the greatest things I’d ever heard – innocent creatures finally turning the tables. Someone else expressed concern over the loss of innocent human life – what if some of the people being killed are good people? I said, “Look, non-human animals need to step up and protect themselves from us hairless apes. They don’t have time to interview people to sort out the angels from the shitheads. Most humans certainly don’t waste any time wondering about driving so many species to extinction.”

At this point, I’m rooting for the non-humans. What can I say? I’m an animal.

Just thought you might like to know.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact For The Day. 

Schmuck Of The Day

The Bitch Is Back

May 30, 2023

Keith Olbermann frequently put it this way re Sarah Palin, “That woman is an idiot.”

This is not about Sarah Palin.

Shakespeare put it thus in Hamlet, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

This is not about a lady.

Then there’s the apropos Elton John song title referenced above.

If the epithet fits…

Something that blends all of the above (and then some) is required for today's subject: “The bitch don’t STFU enough methinks.”

President Joe Biden recently announced a new plan to fight hate, bias and violence against Jewish people and combat an alarming rise in antisemitism. Biden intends to send a “clear and forceful message” that “in America, evil will not win, hate will not prevail” and “the venom and violence of antisemitism will not be the story of our time.”

No brainer, right? Right. Until that is, champion of the under-educated, decimal-pointed IQ, Fux-News-encrusted hate mongers, and professional no-brainer Lauren Boebert put thumbs to phone and posted on Elon Musk’s home for anti-Semites and other human detritus, Twitter:

Guilty conscience bitch much?*

___________________________________________________________
*This of course presumes the presence of a conscience. That would be a mistake.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Fuck yeah.

Investment Opportunity For The Day

So You Want To Be A Millionaire

May 27, 2023

Blogging admittedly, though thoroughly enjoyable, does not pay the bills…any of them. All of the books and movies, and fine products – like Rent-a-Coma™, Votegra™, or even the democracy-preserving Moron-a-Tron™ Mental Detector – have failed to put enough food on the table to feed the average (non-Gregor-Samsa-sized) cockroach.

The latest Paying Attention™ get-rich-moderately-quickly-or-even-in-super-slow-motion scheme is something I can’t believe no one has ever thought to do. Why not combine two of the most popular and oldest professions? I think this idea might finally rake in millions when we open up our new chain of stores.

What better way to know for sure if you will really like the mattress you are shopping for? Everyone who has ever bought a mattress knows how difficult it is to decide how compatible your new mattress will be after just lying there for a few minutes and feeling awkward about being there where anyone can see you, and then buying something just to get the whole thing over with.

Mattress Whorehouse™ will offer clean, private rooms where you can give a mattress a true field test. And you guys, after you’re finished giving the mattress a good workout, you can pass out, sleep it off and see how you feel the next morning.

The smart money says Mattress Whorehouse™ will outsell every other mattress superstore. Put your money where my mouth is; get in on the ground floor while you still can.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Investment Opportunity For The Day.

How much you got on you?

Broken News – No-Brainers Edition

No Added Artificial Intelligence

May 22, 2023

As you know, the MAGA crowd is anti-science or progress – among so many other things that people whose IQs do not begin with a decimal point find meaningful, useful, and often integral to life in the real world.

MAGAts naturally fear and distrust artificial intelligence. This of course is a no brainer since they are vehemently opposed to intelligence of any kind. And because they have no brains. Their unbridled fear of smart people causes them to soil their undergarments on a daily basis.

The Lyin’ King – all artificial, no intelligence

These are the same people who embrace trans fats, which are killing many of them, but are apoplectic over trans people who are not hurting anyone.

These are the same people who cosplay in tactical military gear for an insurrection, but are scared to death of someone dressing up as a member of the opposite sex for entertainment purposes (or any other purpose for that matter).

They are pitching a life-and-death struggle against “wokeness” because being woke is about being less stupid and hateful, and therefore a threat to all they hold dear and sacred. Being woke is about thinking it and paying it forward. The MAGAts prefer to keep their brains idling…or floored in reverse.

They are too stupid to understand that Antifa is short for anti-fascist, constantly describing Antifa as fascists. Pot, allow me to introduce my good friend, Kettle.

They think the gun lobby is where you wait when you want to mow people down with assault weapons as they enter a school, church, bar or workplace.

Unsatisfied by their staggering level of natural idiocy, they incessantly fight against any form of intelligence – natural or artificial. What they really want is artificial idiocy. All of their news sources traffic in it. All their political heroes wallow in it. They are proud of their abject ignorance and they will fight to the death to increase the level of ignorance by any means necessary.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled disbelief.