Indigenous Peoples Day - The Beatdown Goes On

This land is their land. Show some fucking respect already.

These Assholes Are Making Me Thirsty

October 9, 2023

The sprawling $128 million Dilkon Medical Center on the Navajo Nation in Arizona, was completed more than a year ago. It has an emergency room, pharmacy and housing for more than 100 staff members. The new hospital was cause for celebration in a community that has to travel long distances for all but the most basic health care.

Sounds wonderful, right? Just one catch; there hasn’t been enough clean water to fill the facility’s storage tank, so the hospital sits empty.

Though Utah (yes, that Utah) and New Mexico have made peace with the Navajos over water, the (not-at-all) great state of Arizona has worked tirelessly to deprive the Navajos of access to the water they need, the water they are entitled to. I think somebody needs to go back where they came from.

No water for you!

In response to the Navajo appeal to right this wrong, the Extreme Court in a 5-4 decision, ruled against the Navajo Nation over claims that the federal government has failed to assert the tribe's desperate need for water access. Roberts, Alito, Thomas, Clowny Barrett and Kavanaugh told the Navajo Nation – drop dead. Fuck you. Fuck your shiny new medical center. Go back where you came from if you don’t like it here. Next case.

Writing for the malignant majority, Boof Kavanaugh wrote that “it is not the judiciary's role to rewrite and update this 155-year-old treaty.” Yeah, because treaties entered into between the United States and sovereign tribes are considered sacred and unbreakable for what Oneida/Iroquois comedian Charlie Hill described as “as long as the grass grows, the Sun shines…or 30 days, whichever comes first.” According to the Court’s majority, the 1868 treaty does not require the U.S. to take affirmative steps to secure water for the tribe on a reservation. So there.

Apparently, the Roberts court is only in the business of overturning 50-year-old established laws, like those allowing women control over their own bodies, or laws protecting the voting rights of minorities.  

The Roberts Court: a Jewish woman, a Black woman, A Hispanic woman

and six racist, misogynistic, fascist clowns

To be fair, maybe Kavanaugh is angry because he still hasn’t found his very own billionaire sugar daddy. Instead of drinking $1000/bottle wines he is stuck with his BFF, beer. He likes beer, he really likes beer, but I bet he’s willing to try flying on private jets to exotic locations and sip, guzzle or boof very fine wine.

FLASHBACK: a clip from the Kavanaugh hearing

I. Mangrey, member of the Dia Tribe.

Other Good News From Indian Country…

Paying Attention™ Request Line

 
Ariel Baddass on the air and taking your requests

October 8, 2023

Our newly hired DJ Ariel Baddass convinced management to add a request/dedication line for folks to hear what they want, when they want it, and send it on out there to someone special.

Hey boys and girls, cats and kitties, all the ships and clippers at sea. This is Ariel B back on the air at last. Been on kind of a forced hiatus. Got asked to leave my last gig after my tribute to the great Joey Reynolds. As Joey did on his last day at WIBG in Philly back in the early ‘70s, I locked myself in the booth and played John Lennon’s Give Peace a Chance for an hour or so, until they brought in a locksmith and a very large gentleman to help me to my car. Thanks to the good folks at Paying Attention™ for hookin’ me up to once again play the platters, spin the saucers, dish out the discs and respect the stacks of wax here at PA Central. I hope to make you proud playin’ the hits, the misses, and anything else you wanna hear.

I. Mangrey looking over the playlist

DJ: Let’s hit the ground spinning and take our first call. And who do we have on the line?

Caller: Hi, I’m Ed long time managing editor, first time caller.

DJ: Hi Ed. What’s your request and who are you dedicating it to? We’re here to make it happen.

Caller: Thanks Ariel. I wanna hear the late, great Fats Waller’s (I'll Be Glad When You're Dead) You Rascal, You. And I’d like this to go out to someone so deserving it ain’t even funny. The song is even older than he is, but not by much. Please send this out to Big, Dumb Donny T. May he rest in peace, or at least STFU.

Fats Waller - (I'll Be Glad When You're Dead) You Rascal, You (1929)

Send us your requests and dedications and we’ll get ‘em on the air. 

Our House, Is A Very, Very, Very Dumb House

Meet The New Joke, Same As The Old Joke

October 6, 2023

Now-ex-Speaker of the House Kevin McQarthy – who needed the most votes to cave in, I mean get in as speaker – has become the only speaker ever to be removed by his own party. It seems they forgot one thing – to have his doomed replacement ready to take the gavel. This means that the House will be unable to get any work done. Of course, 1) they barely got anything useful done the entire time McQarthy pretended to run the show, and 2) nothing this MAGA-addled Congress has done or would do in any way benefits the American people anyway. So, keep up the bad work folks.

His humiliating ouster makes McQarthy the third-shortest serving speaker of the House in American history, and the shortest since 1875. Heck of a job, Kevie.

“Speaker” McQarthy before being re-humiliated and fired by his own party

The fascist (i.e., Ratpublican) majority of the 117th - the Keystone Congress - finds themselves up a creek without a brain after dismissing their barely-chosen speaker for avoiding a government shut-down with help from Democrats because his party was busy tasing itself in the genitals.

Irony alert: the Ratpublicans who wanted McQarthy out for working with Democrats voted with the very same Democrats to achieve their goal of getting rid of McQarthy.

The Keystone Congress

Top speaker prospect Steve Scalise once described himself as (former grand wizard of the Ku Klux Klan and still racist as fuck) David Duke without the baggage. His words, not mine. Regardless of what Scalise meant by that, it was the second dumbest thing he could have said. The dumbest? He could have said he was Adolf Hitler without the mustache. In 2002, Scalise attended and spoke at a white supremacist conference organized by Duke.

This crop of Republicans/fascists seems more interested in vying for dullest knife in the drawer than doing anything government-y.

Since there are virtually no rules regarding who can be speaker of the House, a number of the flailing fascists in the majority have farted, I mean floated the idea of inviting the disgraced, twice-impeached, four-time-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president who is currently embroiled in 91 felony indictments and a potentially devastating civil trial that currently has him under a gag order, to be interim speaker.

Yes, please.

It’s possible there is actually one requirement for being speaker – not being under indictment. But as we know, rules were meant to be broken…if you’re a Republican/fascist.

Or, perhaps you would prefer in-over-his-head-in-a-wading-pool Jim Jordan (recently featured as our Schmuck of The Day), who has announced his intention to run for speaker, or one of the numerous dim bulbs qualified (i.e., having a pulse) to fake the reins. There is so much talent to choose from in the GQP. With the added bonus, if you put them all together, their collective IQ hits double digits. Isn't that exciting? But can they pull off the ever-elusive person-woman-man-camera-TV? 

The current temp speaker Ryan McHenry (R-Asshole) borrowed the gavel and immediately evicted ex-Speaker Nancy Pelosi out of an office she has been using since her time as speaker. It has been customary to allow ex-speakers to continue occupying that suite. For example, Pelosi allowed eventually-disgraced ex-speaker Dennis Hastert to remain in that office as long as he pleased. In 2016 - nine years after resigning as speaker to become a fucking lobbyist, Hastert was sentenced to 15 months in prison for financial offenses related to the sexual abuse of teenage boys. Or as it is more commonly referred to, being a Republican. Hastert became the highest-ranking elected official in U.S. history to serve a prison sentence. That record will hopefully be broken in perpetuity in the very near future.

And lastly, as is proving to be the case over and over of late, Sen. John Fetterman says it best:

        “Replacing one dick with a different kind of dick isn’t gonna change anything.”

I. Mangrey trying not to laugh so hard that I throw up. 

Donny's Phantasmagorical Fraud Factory

New York State Of Mine

October 3, 2023

Very stable genius Donald Jailbird Trump figured out a great way to distract everyone from the myriad pending court appearances necessary to manage his 91 charges in four separate jurisdictions (so far). Especially since he had to show up in court yesterday, where he was caused to share airspace with his nemesis du jour – Letitia James, who has Dumb Donald dead to rights if the judge hearing the case is to be believed. And of course, he is, since it is his courtroom and his rules. This judge has already found Trump guilty, and is now hearing more testimony in order to determine how much of Trump’s imaginary fortune to siphon away to pay his victims. Oh, and probably end his ability to do business in New York.

The disgraced, twice-impeached, four-time-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent ex-one-term-president took time away from being a grifting shitbag running for president in order to keep himself out of prison, by talking about executing Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Five-Star Army General Mark Milley, days before his retirement.

Milley has served his nation in the military honorably for 43 years – unlike Trump who never served anyone but himself and never acted honorably in his entire noxious life.

Then this happened…

Milley in obvious distress, somehow able to keep his hands from strangling Trump

And this (for which Milley felt compelled to apologize to the American people)…

Milley, conned into accompanying the Orange Oaf for political theater

Presumably, Trump believes Milley should have been executed for talking Trump out of using the Insurrection Act against American civilians who were protesting after the brutal police murder of George Floyd. Trump attacked Milley for daring to put his oath to the Constitution above blind loyalty to a demented conman.

But back to our main story…

New York State Of Fraud

Donald Trump may have just received the most severe spanking since Stormy Daniels swatted his dumb ass with a Forbes magazine bearing the fake billionaire’s artificial face. Trump was found guilty by Judge Arthur Engoron of having committed fraud over many decades. Of grossly over-valuing his assets to make him look much wealthier than he was, while at the same time demanding those same assets be assessed lower when the tax man came sniffing around.

If looks could kill, we might all die…of laughter

How do you think he got so rich? He didn’t. Just like his skin-tone and his “hair” and its ill-begotten hue, his financial status is completely bogus. And it’s about to get much, much worse for Dishonest Don. Trump bragged that he was the King of Debt – his crown is about to become much heavier. He said he will be testifying in his own demented defense, so odds are he will not.

Judge Engoron looked at the evidence and made an immediate ruling in the civil lawsuit brought by New York Attorney General Letitia James. The judge found that Trump and his company deceived banks, insurers and others by massively overvaluing his assets and exaggerating his net worth on paperwork used in making deals and securing loans.

Shocking, I know. Trump’s fake fortune was built on a house of marked cards.

Trump went on his anti-social media and called for the judge to be “stopped.” Them sounds like fightin’ words. And, incitin’ words.

Don't judge; he’s loser, not a fighter...

or a dancer...or a mammal

Trump’s ultimate liability may be a result of his lying ability, which is immeasurable.

I. Mangrey and T. Doff reporting.

Thought For The Day - Who You Callin' Old?

President 420

October 1, 2023

People say to me all the time, “Sir, Joe Biden is too old to be president, let alone get a second term.”

Well guess what, Joe Biden is not old. He is just stoned a lot.

Here is all the proof you need…

Why is he always wearing shades?

And if you need any more proof…

He sure eats a lot of ice cream. Munchies Joe?

Okay, so he’s also kind of old.

On the other hand, Donald Jackanapes Trump – who cannot spell, speak in coherent sentences, and recently told attendees at a Christo-fascist rally that “you need ID to buy a loaf of bread” and that he's currently leading "Obama" in the polls, adding

“…and we did it with Obama, we won an election everyone said couldn’t be won. We beat (McConnell-esque pause) Hillary Clinton.”

He also warned the audience that keeping Joe Biden in the White House would result in a World War, but not the one you’re thinking of

“We have a man who is totally corrupt and the worst president in the history of our country, who is cognitively impaired. In no condition to lead and is now in charge of dealing with Russia, and possible nuclear war. Just think of it. We would be in World War II very quickly if we’re going to be relying on this man.”

Maybe he meant Obama…or FDR.

Now, he's talking about executing his former chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and sending in the armed forces to shoot-to-kill shoplifters. Yeah, he's fine.

Trump claims he never did any drugs (he’s been too busy being an inveterate liar).

If Trump had any brains, he would claim to be a drug addict

Whether he is too old or too stoned, Joe Biden runs rings around Trump at every turn. We will leave you with this – Donald Jellybrain Trump’s greatest accomplishment as president:

Person, woman, man, camera, TV

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

What do you think?

Schmuck Of The Day

No Jackoff Required

September 29, 2023

Why the fuck is committee chairman and credibly accused sexual abuse enabler Jim Jordan not wearing a fucking jacket like every other man in Congress? Why does he hate America?

What a disrespectful fucking slob; but at least he’s an idiot

Fascist Party assholes are fine with daily mass gun murders in this country, they are fine with their ousted party boss/ex-president inciting an insurrection, threatening execution of the outgoing chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, and having been found liable of sexual abuse and guilty of fraud lasting decades, but they cannot, they will not, abide anyone not wearing a suit and tie when they come to work (except Jim Jordan), because that, and only that is the true measure of a man. And I do mean man. That, and only that, is what apparently what holds our fragile democratic republic together.

Poor Jim, he is in over his empty head

And why is Jordan crying? Is it because he’s Sofa King stupid? Is it because he turned a stupid eye while his fellow coach sexually abused members of his wrestling team at Ohio State? We may never know, since this asshole won’t even honor a Congressional subpoena.

Instead, Jordan’s Overslight Committee decided to hold a pathetic, illegal (there was no vote to hold this sham hearing, something that is required), and ultimately disastrous – for the Fascist Party – so-called impeachment inquiry. Every one of their expert legal witnesses testified that there was no evidence whatsoever with which to begin an impeachment of Joe Biden.

To be fair, there was one bit of evidence, but it turned out that had been photoshopped and was only evidence of the bankruptcy, desperation and stunning, however expected, dishonesty of the Fascist Party.

Rep. Gerry Connolly (D-VA) seems a bit mixed up

Another Democratic representative literally dared Ratpublicans to hold the impeachment vote then and there if they were so sure of their cause. The only thing we learned from this exercise in stupidity was, where there’s smoke, there’s mirrors.

Here’s Jordan again without a fucking jacket.

Oh, the Hugh Manatee!

Who will ever forget the immortal Benjamin Franklin on the last day of the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia on September 18, 1787, when a lady asked Dr. Franklin, “Well Doctor what have we got a republic or a monarchy,” and Franklin famously replied, “A republic if you can keep it by having people in the proper attire.”

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. What the schmuck.

Thought For The Day - Donny Get Your Gun

Cloudy With A Chance Of Shootings*

September 27, 2023

Disgraced, twice-impeached, four-time-indicted (so far), failed insurrection leader and Fifth-Amendment-dependent rape-y ex-one-term-president Donald Jezebel Trump took time out of his campaign/being a defendant schedule to stop at a South Carolina gun shop. He apparently purchased (if he didn’t pay cash the shop owner will be sorry) a Glock handgun – with Trump’s dislikeness on it, presumably to either shoot up a judge, prosecutor, entire courtroom or perhaps an elementary school in some lucky town.

Careful where you point that thing, you might miss

Deranged mega-supporter/groupie and Georgia congressmoron EmptyG was seen at the completely untrained, self-control-less and violent, proud new gun owner’s side smiling like someone who was just lobotomized, and clearly wanting to grab her lard and master by the pussy.

And, how would Donald even operate such a weapon? He needs both of his tiny hands to operate a glass of water.

It remains unclear whether he actually made the purchase, or more likely just said the first two (somewhat mutually exclusive in the order he said them) things that came to him.

“I’m going to buy one. I want to buy one,” said the perpetual liar.

A Trump spokesmaggot originally confirmed the purchase, but the Trump campaign unsurprisingly backtracked, saying he actually did not buy the gun. Probably time for another search warrant (better check his toilets) because…

What’s Another Felony Between Friends

According to the ATF, “Federal law prohibits the shipment, transportation, or receipt of firearms or ammunition by any person who is under indictment for a crime punishable by a term of imprisonment exceeding one year.”

Meanwhile, thanks to the Inciter-in-chief, threats of violence are spiking as Trump’s cases proceed and his violent, threat-laden rhetoric continues unabated.

In April of this year, before federal prosecutors indicted Trump, one survey showed that 4.5 percent of American adults agreed that the use of force was “justified to restore Donald Trump to the presidency.” That figure jumped to 7 percent after his first federal indictment. Who knows what it is at this point.

It’s a wonderful life.

______________________________________________

*Possibly in the middle of Fifth Avenue.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

What do you think? 

Hero Of The Day

It’s A Bird (A Very Large Bird), It’s A Building, It’s FetterMan!!

September 24, 2023

More powerful than a filibuster. Able to leap mental munchkins in a single bound. Faster than a fucking fascist. He is part man, part mountain. Part senator from Pennsylvania, all progressive. And an unrivaled troll of idiot Ratpublicans, who are apoplectic about the way he dresses. He is FetterMan.

Big John appears to be well over his stroke and subsequent bout with depression. Lately, he has been trolling the assholes across the aisle at every opportunity, and there has been a veritable cornucopia of those to snack on.

First, Fetterman called the impending faux impeachment of Joe Biden “a circle jerk,” then after McQarthy publicly announced the “impeachment inquiry” required of him to keep his gavel, Fetterman feigned shock and horror before bursting into laughter.

“Oh my gosh, you know, oh, it’s devastating.”

“Oooo, don't do it. Please don't do it! Oh, no! Oh, no!”

It’s kind of funny – like cancer is funny – the Fascist Party has their hair on fire because the junior senator from Pennsylvania has abandoned tradition with his sartorial choices, while the leader of their party ditched tradition by inciting an insurrection, threatening retribution against his political enemies and the termination of the Constitution, and lying more often than he breathes. Not to mention the host of mental defectives who dress well, but couldn’t think their way out of a paper bag.

National Lampoon - Deteriorata

Thanks to a directive from Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, the Senate no longer has a business attire dress code, paving the way for Fetterman to dress any way he fucking pleases. Sen. Susan Collins (R-Who-Gives-A-Fuck) said the new dress code erodes the “certain dignity” of the Senate and “debases the institution.” Look who’s fucking talking – the woman who makes the so-called world's ‘greatest deliberative body’ look like the world’s most dimwitted bozos (that’s not entirely fair – let’s not forget Tommy Tuberville – if he’s allowed to have that name, Fetterman can dress however he wants, Ron Johnson, John Kennedy, Josh Hawley, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, Lindsey Graham – need I go on?).

“If those jagoffs in the House stop trying to shut our government down, and fully support Ukraine, then I will save democracy by wearing a suit on the Senate floor next week.”
                       Sen. John Fetterman, September 18, 2023

Some of these so-called lawmakers are bent on impeaching Joe Biden because he is not Donald Trump. I’m pretty sure that is not how impeachment works.

These are the same people who are “investigating” Hunter Biden for making money on the back of his father’s name, while ignoring Jared Kushner walking away from his White House post with some $2B in Saudi blood money. The same people who fight tooth-and-nail for the rights of terrorists and mentally ill people (like Hunter Biden) to own assault weapons, and the right of kids to carry out mass shootings in schools (and every other fucking place) but are going apeshit over dismal drug addict Hunter Biden illegally buying a handgun and throwing it in a dumpster.

While Fetterman undoubtedly ignores the “dress code” in the Senate, the Fascist Party clearly ignores the brain code, the democracy code and the patriot code. So fuck them.

FetterMan – dressed to the ones and towering physically

and mentally over his colleagues across the aisle

This has been your Paying Attention™ Hero Of The Day. Fuck yeah.

Go FetterMan! Go Birds!

Fun Facts For The Day – Special Expanded Stupidity Edition

The Science Of Stupidity

September 22, 2023

The Secret Word Is Stupid

Scientists say hydrogen is the most abundant substance in the universe. I disagree. I say the most abundant substance in the universe is stupidity.
                               Frank Zappa, a mother of invention

One of America's major political parties, which shall remain brainless, believes fervently in the stupidity of science; it turns out they have the whole thing backwards. No surprise there. 

One week ago we presented the idea of “artificial ignorance.” A few days later cognitive neuroscientist Bobby Azarian published an opinion piece titled “A neuroscientist explains why stupidity is an existential threat to America.”

Excerpts from the article:

Although the term "stupidity" may seem derogatory or insulting, it is actually a scientific concept that refers to a specific type of cognitive failure. It is important to realize that stupidity is not simply a lack of intelligence or knowledge, but rather a failure to use one's cognitive abilities effectively. This means that you can be “smart” while having a low IQ, or no expertise in anything.

Stupidity is a consequence of a failure to be aware of one’s own limitations, and this type of cognitive failure has a scientific name: the Dunning-Kruger effect.

The Dunning-Kruger effect is a well-known psychological phenomenon that describes the tendency for individuals to overestimate their level of intelligence, knowledge, or competence in a particular area. They may also simultaneously misjudge the intelligence, expertise, or competence of others. In other words, they are ignorant of their own ignorance.

What we are dealing with here is an epidemic of stupidity that will only get worse as divisions continue to increase.

Here is the picture that appeared under the headline – likely not chosen by the author, but eminently apt:

Lauren Boebert – Stupidity personified and a shitting member of Congress

This patently non-stupid essay, explaining that stupidity is not a pejorative, sort of puts a damper on much of what we do here at Paying Attention™. It has not been uncommon for the word ‘stupid’ to appear on these virtual pages over the years. That term has always been meant as either an honest, heartfelt and objectively verifiable assessment and synonym for idiocy or dumbass and/or the politest insult applicable to the subject in question. Learning that stupid is actually a scientific concept implies that we must find a replacement.

The word dipshit leaps to mind, but it doesn’t have the grammatical dexterity we have thus far ascribed to ‘stupid,’ so we’ll have to see.

I Just Called To Say You're Stupid

Speaking of stupid – pejorative or otherwise, two days ago, decidedly non-stupid Attorney General Merrick Garland was caused to ride in the stupid, silly and sickening clown car that is the current House Judiciary Committee, presently chaired by stupid (non-pejorative usage) professional moron – or dipshit, if you prefer – (intentionally, and entirely justified pejorative) Jim “I See Nothing” Jordan.

Jim Jordan seen here, appropriately, portrayed as a dimwitted Nazi

Jordan, who has been in violation of a Congressional subpoena for nearly 500 days, and who remains under suspicion for seeing nothing that was happening right under his stupid (oops, force of habit) nose while his fellow wrestling coach was sexually assaulting the young men under their charge, has been overseeing (as opposed to his usual overlooking) the most farcical “investigation” since the dozen or so Benghazi “hearings” overseen by coif-challenged dummkopf Trey Gowdy, or perhaps the never-ending obsession with Hillary Clinton’s emails, which to be fair, did ultimately help derail Clinton’s presidential aspirations, leaving our country in the hands of a sexual predator conman with an IQ preceded by a minus-sign and “hair” and skin tone by Crayola. And who unquestionably qualifies as stupid in all its scientific and colloquial applications.

The extremely un-stupid Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA) and his
clock ticking off Jim Jordan’s ongoing subpoena dodge

The committee is allegedly looking into the heinous unfairness being foisted upon the American public as a result of the unnecessary indictment of the hapless drug addict Hunter Biden and the completely necessary, utterly justified multiple indictments of disgraced…Donald Jerk-Store Trump.

Merrick Garland for his part is unaccustomed to playing the circus freak. Garland has but one mode. He is serious, dedicated and more by-the-book than the book itself. Needless to say, he was not a good fit for those throwing a fit.

Liars And Traitors And Boors! Oh My!

Exactly WTF (the ‘W’ stands for where) where in hell does the ex-Republican (now Fascist) Party find their candidates? We know where they found Trump – a vapid reality show. Where does one go to recruit people like Jim Jordan, Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Kevin McCarthy, and too many others (and that's just in the House)? Flat Earth conventions (these are real things)? UFO abductee support groups? I know there is no shortage of dipshits in this country, but this bunch of brain-damaged yahoos are surely the cream of the crap.

Hello Dummy

Dummy ventriloquist and dummy dummy

And you don’t have to take my word for it – you should, but you don’t have to – here’s Rep. Mike Lawler (R-NY):

This is stupidity. The idea that we’re going to shut the government down, when we don’t control the Senate, we don’t control the White House…These people can’t define a win, they don’t know how to take yes for an answer. It’s a clown show…You keep running lunatics, you’re gonna be in this position.

Anyway, that’s a lot of facts for one day.
Not sure how much fun was involved, but at least it wasn’t stupid.