Question For The Day

Turning These Little Town Screws

September 23, 2022

Today's question is:

Are we about to see Individual 1 choke on the Big Apple?

What is the opposite of a Heimlich Maneuver?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.

Thought For The Earth

Cloudy With A Chance* Of Climate Disaster

September 22, 2022

Fool Efficiency

For those of you keeping score, today we will be treated to equal amounts of daylight and night, it being the Autumnal Equinox. No doubt, there are those who will demand a recount and might even attempt to subvert nature in favor of witlessness. 

Speaking of nature, many car commercials are touting fuel efficiency, likely in response to current gas prices. Certainly not in response to the climate crisis caused in no small part by the incessant burning of fossil fuels and the greed-inspired ignorance of fossil senators.

At this point in time, the only cars that are fuel efficient are electric vehicles.

________________________________________________________
* Guarantee, actually.

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life - Galaxy Song

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Earth.

You're welcome.

What is your thought for the Earth?

Special Mid-Day UN-Broken News Report

I Love It When You Speak Massive Civil Lawsuit Against Trump, Tish

September 21, 2022
12:30 PM, Eastern

This just in: New York Attorney General Letitia James has announced that the state of New York is suing Individual 1…I mean Donald J. Trump for a minimum of $250M. Michael Cohen believes that Trump’s liability will land closer to $750M.

James is seeking to permanently bar Individual 1 and his emotionally, mentally and morally damaged children named in the lawsuit (for once, Tiffany is thrilled to be left out, and Barren – or whatever his name is – has not yet reached the age of conman) from serving as the director of a business registered in New York state. She is also seeking to cancel the Trump Organization's corporate certificate., If this is granted by a judge, it could effectively force the company to cease operations in New York state.

James filed a civil lawsuit spanning more than 200-pages. According to CNN (the soon-to-be-ex legitimate news organization), the suit alleges that “the fraud touched all aspects of the Trump business, including its properties and golf courses. According to the lawsuit, the Trump Organization deceived lenders, insurers and tax authorities by inflating the value of his properties using misleading appraisals.

Donald Trump is not a liar; he is a lie. His wealth is a lie. His life is a lie. And damn sure, his "hair" is a lie.

James alleges in the lawsuit that over a 10-year period Individual 1 and his company made “scores of fraudulent, false, and misleading representations.” The massive suit specifically referred to more than “200 false and misleading valuations” of Trump's assets.

Sure, let’s say alleges. Why not. We’re all adults here.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Very Special UN-Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled schadenfreude.

 

Fraught For The Day

Put Your Hand In The Air Like The Fuhrer Was There

September 20, 2022

Der Furor was in Ohio riling up his neo-nazi nitwits at a rally in support of former never-Trumper and now Trump boot-lick J.D. Vance, Ohio senate candidate. Cornered like a rabid hyena, Hair Trump is nuzzling up to the Qanon Qrowd like never before. His super creepy, reality-free dirge/threat, set to ominous background music that turned out to be Qanon’s anthem, was perhaps his scariest screed to date. Trump did his best to scare the crap out of a half-empty house of brainwashed zombies, who have apparently eaten their own brains and are ready for war. Trump has morphed the Ratpublican Party from MAGA to MAQA – from Make America Great Again (which was complete bullshit) to Make America Qanon Already (which is deadly serious).

As Trump feels the walls of justice and reality – not the reality of reality tv, but a non-scripted reality that may not end well for him – closing in, he is in a desperate state. If he could bend over, he would chew his own leg off rather than face the music that an orchestra of prosecutors has taken their seats and is ready to perform. Adam Schiff warned during his closing statement at Trump’s record-breaking, democracy-shaking second impeachment,

We must say enough — enough! He has betrayed our national security, and he will do so again. He has compromised our elections, and he will do so again. You will not change him. You cannot constrain him. He is who he is. Truth matters little to him. What's right matters even less, and decency matters not at all.

And that was the mensch Adam Schiff being tactful. Now, Trump is getting worse by the moment. His legacy could end our democracy yet. The damage he and Mitch McConnell have done to our judicial system is a malignancy on the American body politic. Not just a “cancer on the presidency” that John Dean, at the end, warned that Watergate had become to Richard Nixon.

Trump’s Ohio Qrowd is out of the bunker

Remind you of anything?

Keith Olbermann is saying it and so should everyone else: Trump is America’s Hitler. This is not hyperbole. Olbermann explained that Trump was not the Hitler of 1945, but the Hitler of 1931 or 1933. This is how it begins. The only difference is it won’t just be Jews. Or Gypsies. Or homosexuals. It will be anyone of any stripe who disagrees with Dear Leader and his conspiracy-crazed cultists.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fraught For The Day. Oy.

Broken News

And A Sociopathic, Classless Pig Shall Lead Them

September 19, 2022

Hannity lays out the case against...Trump?

I found this quite enjoyable to watch, but it made me realize that Sean Hannity has a face for radio and a voice for silent films.

Political pundits keep asking why Ratpublicans refuse to walk away from the person known as Individual 1 in the Mueller investigation and subsequent case against Trump’s fixer Michael Cohen – Individual 1 is the person for whom Cohen paid Stormy Daniels, which landed the fixer, and not his boss, who ordered the payoff, in the slammer. Individual 1’s stranglehold remains unbreakable. They are still unable to stop kissing random body parts of their cheerless leader who looks more and more like a political leper But why? As the video shows, he is a surfing on a giant wave of crimes, impeachments and ongoing investigations from every quarter.

I believe there is one thing and one thing only that scares the living shit out of Ratpublicans. And that's one motherlode of shit.

Individual 1 will run if indicted. He will run if he is in the middle of a trial once (or twice, or six times) he has been indicted. The only possible scenario – short of his untimely passing – (untimely in that 2015 would have made things so much easier) that has even a chance of stopping Individual 1 from running in 2024 is him ending up in solitary confinement - which after all, might be the only way for him to remain safe in prison. (Now that's about the happiest thought I've had in some time).

What has Ratpublicans soiling their Depends is simple: if Individual 1 should ever lose the Ratpublican nomination to any of the next batch of human parasites posing as candidates, he would run as an independent. You heard it here first. 

And that my friends, scares Ratpublicans to death.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled happy thoughts.

Broken News

Another Fake Hoax

September 16, 2022

The unrelenting world-wide climate crisis hoax has exposed another major hoax. Dinosaur tracks. Apparently, some dastardly prankster had put fake dinosaur tracks at the bottom of a Texas river. Lying scientists are telling us that the giant make-believe footprints were left by a dinosaur 113,000,000 years ago. Yeah sure, and Donald Trump stole hundreds of classified documents when he left the White House after Joe Biden “defeated him” in the fake, stolen 2020 election. Who do these people think they’re kidding?

Alleged dinosaur tracks found after Texas “river” "dries up"

Fake drought conditions, like those we are being told are happening all over the world, caused the Paluxy River in a place amusingly called Dinosaur Valley State Park in Texas to dry up, exposing the hoax tracks last visible in the year 2000. Of course you can see the bottom of the river – everyone knows that water is invisible. Next they’ll be telling us we don’t need fermented dinosaur juice to run cars because they can run on electricity…whatever that is.

Man caught making “dinosaur tracks” in “dried up” Paluxy River in Texas

Louis Jacobs, a fake vertebrate paleontologist at Southern Methodist University told a New York Times reporter, “Those footprints, they’re spectacular because they’re deep. You can see the toenails. There’s more than one kind, and there’s a lot of them.” I’ll believe it when I see a real dinosaur or when I hear Sean Hannity report it.

For now, I'm sticking with super-genius Herschel Walker who said, “At one time, science said man came from apes. Did it not? If that is true, why are there still apes? Think about it.” As many times as Walker was hit in the head playing pro football, and his multiple personality disorder, and the fact that there are heads of lettuce with more cortical activity, who would better know how science works?

You know what else is a hoax? Intelligent Ratpublicans.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled conspiracy theories.

Science Postscript:

Matt Wuerker

Marty Two Bulls

It's The Democracy, Stupid

Your Vote Counts, But Who Counts Your Vote?

September 14, 2022

We are a mere eight weeks away from the most important midterm elections in generations. If Democrats cannot hold on to both houses of Congress, this country will be thrown into reverse so fast the transmission will be blown to smithereens, the air bags will decapitate us and the seat belts will cut off circulation to the brain and most of the body. If Team Tmurp tips the scales, it’s back to American Carnage. This time, drinking bleach will be mandatory. And dozens of armed, mentally defective members of Congress will storm the Capitol in order to overturn the 2020 election next January. We risk having Moscow Mitch back in charge, Kevin McCarthy or some other demented troll as Speaker. Common wisdom holds that the party that wins the presidency typically loses ground in the subsequent midterm elections for the House and Senate. 

Now, stay with me here, this is admittedly a bit twisted, but we surely live in twisted times.

Most Ratpublicans, including no small number of office-holders, continue to insist that Donald Turnip beat Joe Biden in 2020, notwithstanding the unrelenting tsunami of facts, every pertinent court decision, including many by Turmp-appointed judges, to the contrary. And the inconvenient truth that Joe Biden currently resides not at Mor-on Lardo, or Badmonster or any other soon-to-be-bankrupt, tasteless Turmp property, but at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, DC, which presumably, a large majority of Americans still believes to be the White House, and the seat of presidential power in the America that one assumes Turmp made great again during his astounding, albeit disgraced, impeachment-ridden, seditious single term.

I imagine this is not yet making any sense, or seemingly even thoughtful points, but again I implore you, hang in there; this won’t take much longer.

Since Ratpublicans believe they won the last presidential election, and since almost every Ratpublican running for re-election must continue to kiss Turmp’s ring, ass, and who-knows-what-else, should not the common wisdom hold that they be the ones losing ground in November?

Ratpublicans surely believe and fear this as evidenced by their frenzied attempts to disenfranchise as many Democratic and democratic voters as possible, lest they get their bloated white asses handed to them again in November 2022.

But Wait, There’s Moron

For his part mentally diminutive senator Rant Paul, when he is not busy managing his Medusa hairdo or haranguing and inspiring death threats against Anthony Fauci with his patented and patently insane conspiracy theories, has his own – let’s call them thoughts – on voting and elections. The dumbass doctor from Kentucky tweeted (and I promise you, I am not making this up):

How to steal an election: ‘Seeding an area heavy with potential Democratic votes with as many absentee ballots as possible, targeting and convincing potential voters to complete them in a legally valid way, and then harvesting and counting the results.’

Now, you are probably thinking to yourself, or saying to whomever is within earshot, or perhaps no one in particular, “What the fuck is wrong with this Kentucky fuckwit? This sounds strikingly like what used to pass for – what was that called, oh yeah – VOTING.” As Joe Biden recently said to the largest crowd ever assembled, that Ratpublicans’ endgame was “To turn the will of the voters into a mere suggestion — something states can respect or ignore.” Ratpublicans long ago gave up supporting voting or democracy. They simply cannot win most elections by, as Runt Paul said, “convincing potential voters to complete them in a legally valid way, and then harvesting and counting the results.” How could they? Their only actual policies are 1) tax cuts for the richest Americans, 2) stop people from voting, and 3) take away women’s right to choose.

Mike Lukovich

And Joe Biden is the one whose poll numbers are low.

Actual album cover from actual 1971 album

I. Mangrey, or else.

Quantum Limp

We Know What You Did Last Week...Do You?

September 13, 2022

Wow. Mr. Person-Woman-Man-Camera-TV may be having a wee problem with his very, very large uh-brain.

September 26, 2018

On September 3, 2022 while playing the old Oh-Yeah-If-I’m-A-Fascist-Then-You’re-A-Fascist card as a rejoinder to Joe Biden finally calling a fascist a fascist…well, a semi-fascist, the self-proclaimed Very Stable Genius seemed to have completely lost touch with the space/time continuum (you can add this to all the other things with which Il Douche has lost touch, like democracy, intelligence and reality). Trump’s hanging-by-fingernails grasp of reality was never anything but a flimsy façade. But now, even as he and his enablers loudly (in typical Ratpublican projection mode) question Joe Biden’s mental well-being, Trump tossed out this mind-bending little tidbit:

“Last week (italics mine, psychotic break, his), the weirdo — he's a weirdo — Mark Zuckerberg came to the White House, kissed my ass all night. “Sir, I'd love to have dinner, Sir. I'd love to have dinner. I'd love to bring my lovely wife.” All right, Mark, come on in. “Sir, you're number one on Facebook. I'd like to congratulate you.” Thank you very much, Mark. I appreciate it.”

Last week? Does he mean that, along with the thousands of documents, hundreds of which are classified, that Trump stole from the White House, he also walked out with a copy of the key to the front door. I wonder if Biden knows that the guy he beat like a dusty rug has been sculking around the White House meeting with Mark Fuckerberg nearly 600 days since he was unceremoniously tossed out like a cheeseburger that has gone undetected, growing moldier and moldier for six years under the bed.

More likely, what came out of Trump’s face sphincter was, as usual, just a verbal version of what emanates from the other end of his feeding tube and takes 10 flushes to eliminate from his gold-plated toilet – even when there are no added documents.

A very stupid genius, who is still – despite the odds – able to find his head

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled time warp.

 

Fascism: Love It Or Leave It

Is America Semi-Dead?

September 10, 2022

“We want all voting to stop.”
Donald Trump, November 3, 2020

Trump said this as it became clear to everyone outside of his cult and the voices in his head that he was on the verge of losing the election in 2020.

Fun fact: Trump and the majority of Ratpublicans are now saying this as a matter of course. This is the permanent status quo they envision for their new version of “democracy.” If they are being honest, and they most certainly are not, they would be perfectly happy if all voting would stop.

Lest you think this hyperbole, current state senator, Pennsylvania Ratpublican gubernatorial candidate and Confederate cosplay creep Doug Mastriano actually said this on purpose:

I could decertify every machine in the state with a stroke of a pen via my secretary of state. I already have a secretary of state picked out. It’s a world-class person that knows voting integrity better than anyone else in the nation, I think, and I already have a team that’s gonna be built around that individual.

If that’s not democracy then…wait a minute, that is totally and unquestionably not democracy or anything like it. And just for the record, here is Mastriano posing (while still on active duty) with fellow U.S. Army War College faculty waaay back in 2014:

Mastriano (left). Notice that no one else is dressed as a racist traitor.

Did we mention this picture was taken in Gettysburg, PA?

As if all this Mastriano malignancy was not enough, Rolling Stone just published a video of the fascist wanna-be-governor. The quote comes from a Zoom billed as a “Global Prayer for Election Integrity” on December 30, 2020 just one week before the January 6 insurrection that Mastriano attended. He allegedly did not enter the Capitol building, but was photographed (or whatever it is the kids call it these days) outside the Capitol that day. Make sure you’re seated, but not in the driver’s seat before attempting to read this perfect quote:

I pray that we’ll take responsibility. We’ll seize the power that we had given to us by the Constitution, and as well by You, providentially. I pray for the leaders also in the federal government, God, on the Sixth of January that they will rise up with boldness.

Whatever could he have meant by “rise up with boldness?”

There’s No ‘Semi’ In Fascist

Not only are most Ratpublican losers refusing to concede defeat, but they are planning, if they do manage to get elected, to ensure that any subsequent elections can only be won by other Ratpublicans. One dipshit who lost a primary explained that he would have challenged the results even if he had won.

They are not semi-fascists, as Joe Biden called them. They are full-blown fascists who refuse to admit (at least publicly) and refuse to accept that there is any way they can ever lose any elections. That being said, it makes sense that, seeing how Ratpublicans have always been opposed to wasting money on anything other than tax cuts for the rich and government subsidies (i.e., welfare) to oil companies, pharmaceutical companies and the like, that they believe it is a waste of money to even have elections. They clearly believe that they should simply have each of their candidates appointed to whatever office they choose so we can get on with the fascism and racism and baby-making by rape and incest. And the end of a habitable planet.

copyright 2018 I. Mangrey

One More Thing

According to a new Reuters/Ipsos poll, 

Fifty-eight percent of respondents in the two-day poll – including one in four Republicans – said Trump's "Make America Great Again" movement is threatening America's democratic foundations.

It's about fucking time. This keeps me nauseously optimistic.

I. Mangrey reporting.  I hold these truths to be self evident.