Donald Trump continues talking nonsense and talking shit on the scam-pain trail. He is nothing but an invertebrate…I mean inveterate…nah, I’m sticking with
invertebrate…liar.
Mouth open, therefore lying
Okay, so he’s both.
So sue me.*
__________________________________________ *Okay, so he’s also a misogynist, a racist, a fascist, a sociopath, a convicted
felon, a traitor, a rapist and a hate-obsessed shit-stain on the human race.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
No More Shopping Days Left Before Resignation
Day(s)
In case you forgot where we left off
August 9, 20232024
Party like it’s 1974
If there could be anything better than
impeaching someone like Richard Nixon (once) or Donald Turmp (twice), it would
be indicting someone like Donald Turmp and finding him guilty, perhaps even
LOCKING HIM UP. With Nixon, it was said that the cover-up was worse than the
crime. That might be true. After all, at least according to Nixon – before
everyone learned it was his idea – Watergate was nothing more than a
“third-rate burglary.”
In the case of Turmp, there has, at least not
since the bombing of Ft. Sumpter, been anything worse than his long-planned
attempted coup. Sure, the cover-up is a veritable smorgasbord of crimes, but
the planning, inciting and attempted in-person leading of the assault on the
Capitol is tough to beat. Then, there was all of potential evidence was deleted
from phones belonging to members of the Secret Service, the Department of
Homeland Security, and the Department of Defense. It appears that all of these
government agencies wiped their text messages right after Turmp’s attempted
coup.
I have heard some say it will be all but
impossible to LOCK HIM UP. This is due to the requirement for all living
presidents, ex or otherwise, twice-impeached or otherwise, anti-American or
otherwise, guilty as fucking hell of trying to overturn a legitimate election
or otherwise, to have round-the-clock Secret Service protection for life (with
or without parole). This would necessitate incarcerating some number of agents
along with their protectee. However, I have an idea. Let’s round up the SS
agents who deleted their text messages related to January 6 and post them with
the man they protected, and they can all do time together. This is why I get
the big bucks…or would, if I got any bucks at all.
Those Who Don’t Learn From History
Are Doomed To Fuck It Up For The Rest Of Us
Before we regale you – or perhaps gale you for
the first time – with this year’s brand-new verses of the old holiday favorite ‘Twas
The Night Before Resignation, on Day 2 of Resignation Day(s), here are a
few highlights from the ghost of Resignation Day(s) past.
Just a few more hops down
memory lane before the main event:
2013
Pardon me for not forgetting.
Pardon me for not letting it go after all these years. Pardon me for dragging
you into my obsession. I just can’t seem to quit the man who tarnished America,
no easy feat, and then quit rather than face the music. I don’t care if he’s
dead, I still want to impeach Nixon. It’s never too late for justice to be
done. I know it will never happen in this case, but that doesn’t make it right.
Those who do not learn the
lessons of history are doomed. Period. And that’s the way it is. Good night and
have a pleasant tomorrow.
2014
Thanks Ed, that was a treat as
always. I hope you don’t mind if I add a verse or two for today’s holiday
season…
Once more it’s that season, now
Obama’s the one
New Impeachers are restless, and each has a gun.
They are angry and senseless, and each one is White
No need for good reason, they just want to fight.
So let’s watch in amusement, as they trip o’er their tongues
As they sputter and spew and expel from their lungs
All the hot air and spittle, all the BS and blight,
Keep it up silly Crackers, and to all a good-night!
2016
Tiny
hands, tiny brain, tiny what-the-fuck-ever,
You will lose very bigly and be president…NEVER
Go prepare your next bankruptcy, it’s what you do best
You whiny Tweet-aholic, and sanity’s pest
2017
The
endless lies and insanity assaulting us all, By
Constitution, our right and our duty - this Chrump thing must fall. So
I say to you all, Power To The People, Out Of Sight, More Impeachment to all,
and to all a good-night!
2018
Impeachment, resigning
once more fill the air,
Now dash away blob with your FAKE orange “hair”,
This Chrump works for Putin, and amplifies hate, He’s racist, he’s fascist; ain’t America great?
Though mostly Chrump’s
tweeting and golfing galore, He’s doing great damage,
let’s show him the door. Fake “hair”, phony
color, his face sphincter speaks, Let’s vote like we mean it and be rid of this freak.
Colluding, conspiring,
with Russia, oh no! Won’t tell his own people what he said to our foe. This treasonous cretin makes us all sick and tired, Let’s pray the next Congress will tell him, “YOU’RE FIRED.”
2019
We heard from The
Mueller, in a manner of speaking
He said there were crimes, he said there was sneaking
He all but said, “Congress, it’s time to impeach,”
He said indicting and punishing was out of his reach.
Still helping the
Russians help him get re-elected, With his treason,
stealing children from their parents and torturing them, denying climatecrisis, treating international allies like dirt and generally His crimes are
innumerable, his racism steady Impeach The Mother
Fucker Already!
2020
‘Twas the night before Resignation
So we had our
impeachment, if fell with a squish,
We thought he would go down, did not get our wish.
Chrump escaped, abetted by old Moscow Mitch, That dastardly, reptilian son-of-a-bitch.
Only one thing might
stop this walking crime ‘gainst humanity, This shit storm
perpetrated by this terrestrial manatee. A second Chrump term
will kill America, no doubt, So, on November the 3rd,
VOTE HIM THE FUCK OUT!
2021
‘Twas the night before Resignation (In 2021 it just gets verse)
Twice, there were Turmp crimes, and
all through the House,
There were cries for impeachment, “Get rid of this louse!”*
The crimes were all proved, beyond shadow of doubt,
Witnesses, videos. Throw the bum out.
The country was nestled and nervous
and scared,
Of the mad orange man, with the fake orange “hair.”
He bragged about crowd size and hands and whatever,
He promised to fight and stay president forever.
And despite all the evidence, and
all the convincing,
Still half the country’s all his, the other half wincing.
It was easy to see that this Turmp was a fascist,
Who put any against him on his miles-long blacklist.
They impeached him not once, they
impeached him then twice
The Senate stood by him, we never got to say, “Atsa nice.”
‘Cause he stayed on in office, swore he’d get re-elected,
But the voters said, “Fuck off! Go to hell! You’re rejected!”
The sorest of winners, could not
handle such losing,
So he riled up his MAGAts, to believe his delusing,
Go take over the Capitol, it need not make sense,
And while you are at it, try hanging Mike Pence.
Never cared ‘bout America,
repeatedly treasonous,
One can’t help but wonder just what the reason is,
Always siding with Putin, and threat’ning Ukraine
To get Hunter Biden? This fucker’s insane.
He whined and he moaned and incited
insurrection,
All because he’s psychotic, no one wants his erection.
Turmp still thinks he’s president, or will be reinstated,
His tiny brain and reality are for sure unrelated.
Can the Democrats somehow get
brains, spines and balls,
And stop the Turmp Party from having it all?
They unsuccessfully impeached him not once but twice,
There’s nothing left, but to impeach his ass thrice.
_____________________________________________________________ *Actually, the cries
were “Impeach The Mother Fucker Already!” which didn’t rhyme with house and
would have thrown off the rhythm completely.
2022
‘Twas the night before indictment,
and all oer the place
America on the precipice of wars civil and race.
When all of a sudden, we heard such a clatter,
When Merrick Garland said finally, “Something’s the matter.”
Though now Turmp is gone, well not
really but sorta
And at least we can’t feel his tiny hand on our aorta,
He is out of high office, the vote saw to that,
But Turmp just won’t accept it, his head is too fat.
He keeps whining and calling to get
the votes changed
Turmp can’t let it go, he’s a fascist, deranged.
He deserves a subpoena, or at least an indictment,
For his scheming and plotting and his violent incitement.
For his eating, burning, shredding
and stealing of documents,
And even mixing some in with his voluminous excrements,
The White House plumber (not Nixon’s) needed always be near.
For Turmp’s flushing of documents, no punishment too severe.
On Rudy, on Hawley, McCarthy and
Gaetz,
On Oath Keepers, Proud Boys, and oh how they hates.
They want a White nation of Christians, not Jews,
Their divorce from reality is surely not news.
Two impeachments, one term, there has
not been one worse,
And the cause of such angst, and such torturous verse.
Drag him off by his feet, or his “hair” or whatever,
Let him back in the White House? Oh fuck no! Oh fuck, NEVER!
As Trump goes kicking,
screaming and fake-tweeting into that good night (good for us, that is), we
will continue our appointed rounds, unfazed. Well, maybe fazed, but undaunted.
So, without further ado, or a
don’t, or a maybe, Paying Attention™ brings you our 2023 installment of the
Resignation Day(s) festivities.
We’ve now had some indictments, p’rhaps justice is nigh,
Trump can’t keep his fat trap shut, is he stupid or high?
He confess to crimes, and he threatens the judges
Trump must have a death wish, he just never budges.
Trump declares many things, not one is a fact,
Like saying he’s protected by the Presidential Records Act.
He keeps claiming this thing, his head’s a latrine,
That act does not mean what he thinks that it means.
Donny Douchebag’s still running, for to stay out of jail,
And our justice moves slowly, at the pace of a snail.
We must hope that Jack Smith, can in court be successful,
And get orange jumpsuit and bars surrounding this asshul.
Will the Fascist Party nominate an indicted or convicted
felon,
Who atop his shoulders sports a hollow, festering melon?
Will Trump serve as president from a crappy cell,
While the rest of America, slides into hell?
Only time will tell if there’s life after Trump,
Or our democratic republic ends up mildewed and buried in
the trash heap of history, in a rotting, smelly dump.
There’s no telling how dimly America’s light might flicker,
Before we just hope Climate Crisis ends it all quicker.
That is all for this year, there’s too much crazy shit,
So much stupid and criming, and dumb fascist twits.
Trump’s impeachments were foiled by McConnell, et al,
Despite that the House had him grabbed by the balls.
For us, now it’s back to news, needles and pins,
And the soul-crunching fear that Trump somehow wins.
Let’s think and let’s pray, and then hope and then vote,
So that Trump is pariah, when history’s wrote.
I imagine having the same sentiment when
Turmp finally meets his very flawed maker
Those Who Don't Celebrate History Are Doomed To
Regret It
August 8, 2024
As always, Paying Attention™ suspends our
regular coverage of the day's insane, and for a change excitingly hopeful events
to celebrate one of the truly unique moments (two days, actually) in American
history. There is much to cover every single day as we find ourselves in
another unique period in our nation's fragile maturation. The race for the
presidency is between a fascist insurrectionist and 34-time convicted felon,
potentially awaiting even more convictions and a former senator, California
attorney general and current vice president, who if victorious will be America’s
first woman president. Many people are saying she is also black. Nonetheless,
we hope you have some free time to celebrate this momentous holiday.
Though this is the 50th anniversary
of the disgraced departure we regret to inform that there will be no new verses
added to the holiday classic ‘Twas The Night Before Resignation. Other than
this intro we are presenting, unadulterated, last year’s celebratory offering. Too
busy trying to maintain sanity, and dare I say hope, during these last three
months before either wonder and a newfound respect for women, minorities and
the environment, or abject misery and untold disaster coming our way on November
5th (in truth there is a very good chance that the results of this
election will not be known until December or worse since Trump’s entire strategy consists of having his malevolent minions
refuse to certify election results that favor Harris in key swing states). That
and preparing for the Paying Attention team’s first vacation in eight years.
It’s not easy informing and inflaming you with all the fascist flotsam and
jackass jetsam being spewed by the Fascist/Trump Party in their
bid to turn America into a seriously failing shithole country with a government
of, by and for Donbald J. Grump.
In the meantime, we leave you in the capable hands
of us from last year. From everyone here at Paying Attention™.
Told you so
The favorite holiday of
everyone here at Paying Attention™ is upon us once again. Sure, many people
prefer July Fourth, or Festivus, or some of the older, more mainstream
holidays, but Resignation Day(s) have long held a special place for everyone
here since that fateful night, August 8, 1974. We were enjoying a pleasant
evening in the Philadelphia suburbs watching the great Bonnie Raitt perform at
the Ambler campus of Temple University. A little after nine o’clock, Bonnie
stopped the show to announce that the war criminal, lying crook, anti-Semite,
and all-around vengeful, paranoid malefactor Dick Nixon had announced that he
would be resigning as of noon the very next day. As a great cheer went up from
the audience, Raitt played Auld Lang Syne and then finished her planned set. We
went home afterwards and celebrated in style. Oh, frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
Dick Nixon’s idiot henchmen got
caught breaking into the Watergate offices of the DNC by security guard Frank
Wills, whose life was ruined because he did his job by reporting the break-in. Nearly
47 years later, Donald Trump’s idiot henchmen got caught – though they made no
attempt to hide anything – breaking into the Capitol to shit on the walls and
on democracy itself. It did not take a security guard to uncover this break-in.
Trump’s malignant minions were caught in the act by everyone watching the whole
thing on live tv. And they were, and many still are proud of it. Others claim
it was all a false flag operation perpetrated by the FBI. These people need a
nice quiet room with rubber walls.
A number of Ratpublicans have
suggested that Mike Pence, who aided and abetted Turmp for five years, was a
hero on that day and deserved a medal. Why? Because he, like Frank Wills, did
his job? Pence spent much of Jan 6 running away from his boss’ angry mob (a mob
Pence still hopes to woo for a presidential run). The same mob who wanted to
hang him by his neck. Pence eventually carried out his constitutional duty,
though beforehand Pence was hoping he could carry out Turmp’s wishes and
overturn the legitimate election that made it clear he and his boss had lost
bigly. Frank Wills died in abject poverty, unable to afford water or
electricity. Mike Pence thinks he is running for president…of an imagined
Christian nation where the Bible trumps the Constitution.
Today, many in the Fascist (nee
Republican) Party are clamoring for the
impeachment of President Joe Biden, for reasons that only exist in their badly
damaged brains. We, on the other hand, are currently enamored of a different
“I” word – INDICTMENT. The tsunami of indictments raining down on the former
guy are based on actual facts, unimpeachable audio and video evidence and
myriad confessions by numerous parties involved, including the ringleader
himself and some of his lawyers.
Can Things Possibly Get Any
Verse?
As we have done most years
since 2008 when a wonderful poem was rescued from obscurity, we present those
now famous stanzas with new verses being added yearly.
Here is the original long-lost
text as presented in 2008…
I stumbled across a bit of this
very old, well-known verse that I thought would be fun to share with everyone
at this special time of year. It’s an
age-old seasonal ditty and this being my favorite American holiday and
all. I’m not sure I remembered all of
the words correctly but I’ve rendered them to the best of my recollection, and
I may have been overzealous and inadvertently added a few verses that didn’t
exist at all. But, it’s full of holiday
magic and joy – a favorite of children and adults throughout the ages so read
it to your children and grandchildren to keep the tradition alive. Now without further ado, in honor of August
8-9, 1974, a moment in history, which our Founders would surely have savoured,
I bring you…
‘Twas the night before Resignation
‘Twas the night before Resignation, when all
through the house
Richard Nixon was cornered, like a trapped diseased mouse.
His burglars had screwed it tho they burgled with care,
His cover-up in ruins, soon the end would be there.
The Congress were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of impeachment danced in their heads.
Sam Irvin with his gavel, exposed all the crap,
And roused our democracy from a long winter’s nap.
So all o’er the land there arose such a clatter,
Even the public could see what was the matter.
And there it was every day on TV like a flash,
Then everyone knew the president was trash.
It was hard to imagine this crook being regal
Tho he said, “If the president does it then it is not illegal.”
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But his lies all exposed and the end of his career.
A great day for democracy, it happened so quick,
What could be worse than that horrid old Dick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And all those were sentenced and each one by name!
"Now Haldeman! now, Erlichman! now, Mitchell and Dean!
On, Colson! On, Liddy!, oh my what a scene!
They all came a tumbling from the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"
August 9, 1974 reimagined: Two
great tastes that taste great together: Nixon’s very victorious shameful resignation and Bush’s equally iconic/ironic MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We hope this helps get you in
the mood. Keep the party going while there remains any glimmer of hope for the
future. All the aforementioned crises are not going away any time soon. But we
can take these two days to reflect on the past, take a deep breath knowing that
the political career of Donald Trump is melting away like the Wicked Witch
after Dorothy doused her with a bucket of water (the same thing might be
literally possible with Trump – has anyone tried it?), and duct tape our
fingers crossed for the future.
In the meantime, enjoy Day One,
but be sure to get some rest. You’ll need all your strength to get through
Resignation Day(s) Two.
Sure JD Vantz* is an easy target. He’s no Tim Walz, who
Kamala Harris just picked to be her running mate. Some call Vantz WEIRD. Tim Walz
called him weird. Vantz brags about drinking Diet Mountain Dew. He called
himself “a never Trumper”
only to join Trump on the insurrection, misogyny, racist, shit-licker ticket. Vantz
called childless adults “deranged,” “psychotic” and “sociopathic.” Get this man
a mirror please! How many children do Clarence and Ginni “Coup Plotter” Thomas
have? That would be…wait, don’t tell me…oh, it’s zero (Thank God!). And how many children
does Elon Musk have? Does he even know? Oh yeah, it’s 12, with three women. And
Vantz doesn’t think divorce should be legal either.
Whatever the opposite of ‘personality’ is, that’s what he’s
got and he’s not afraid to flaunt it. Vantz lives in a world that doesn’t quite
exist and that most mammalian Americans deplore. I hate to pick on such a pathetic
puke, but I love it even more. From deep within the vault of Vantz’s
alternative facts and deep-seated misogyny and soullessness, JD added the
following assemblage of not-so-happy horseshit and unrivaled stupid during a
2021 interview with Russian operative Fucker Carlson
JD VANTZ: We're effectively run in this country, via the
Democrats, via our corporate oligarchs, by a bunch of childless cat ladies who
are miserable at their own lives and the choices that they've made, and so they
want to make the rest of the country miserable, too. And it's just a basic
fact. You look at Kamala Harris, Pete Buttigieg, AOC - the entire future of the
Democrats is controlled by people without children.
Someone should tell Diet Mountain Douche that Kamala Harris
does have stepchildren, and Pete Buttigieg has adopted children. At least Vantz
referred to the ones running this country – or at least trying to – as “our
corporate oligarchs.” Most of those corporate oligarchs are not George Soros.
They are the ones behind Trump.
The ones who own Clarence Thomas and Sam Alito. And JD Vantz.
I. MANGREY: We’re effectively run in this country, via the
Fascist/Trumpers, via their corporate oligarchs, by a bunch of brainless rat fuckers and incels who are miserable at their
own lives and the choices they’ve made, and so they want to make the rest of
the country miserable, too. And it’s just a basic fact. Not an alternative
fact. You look at Don Trump,
JD Vance, MTG – the entire future of the Fascist/Trump Party is controlled by people without brains.
___________________________________________________ *A word we learned from Hawkeye Pierce at the 4077th M*A*S*H
unit while he searched for a crossword answer to the clue “Five letters: A
Yiddish word for bedbug.”
Who doesn’t remember where they were when some nutjob fired
his Ratpublican-endorsed assault weapon in the general direction of Donald Trump on July 13, 2024 while the convicted felon and part-time candidate was holding one of Bund
rallies in western Pennsylvania?
Wait, what? Trump
got shot? Oh yeah, totally forgot about that. Actually, no one really knows for
sure. Until today no one knew exactly what if any injury was sustained by the
former fucked-up fake president.
Trumpand his idiot, deadbeat sons seen here stealing
valuable oxygen from people who actually deserve it
Dumb-Dumb Bullet
Chicken shit Trump took time away from running away from
debating Kamala Harris while amping up his racism to put all the conspiracy theories around his brush with
flesh wound to rest with the following statement straight from the whore’s
mouth:
As you know, your favorite president DONALD J. TRUMP, a fine
and brilliant YOUNG man was nearly killed by a hail of bullet from the gun of
an Antifa sniper. It was an assassination unlike any ever seen in the world. It
was only due to my cat-like reflexes that I was able to dodge the bullet. Well,
my cat-like reflexes and the good Lord who clearly loves DONALD J. TRUMP and
protected him from harm – with the exception of all those witch hunt
indictments and fake guilty verdicts and massive fines, which I can definitely
afford to pay very easily.
Being shot like that, and almost killed very badly means that
I should automatically be elected president for the third time.
My injuries are my private business, just like my favorite
Bible verses. I do not like to show off my extensive – probably the most
extensive of anyone ever – knowledge of the very great Bible, which the only
book I like more than The Art of The Deal, which I totally wrote – with God’s
help – all by myself. I also want to avoid upsetting all Americans who would
never get over hearing the tragic details of my horrendous injuries that I
definitely got from being shot and nearly killed several times by the Antifa
gunman in the terrible, crime-ridden state of Pennsylvania.
Today, I just want to promise you that I will definitely
release all of my assassination attempt medical records. I would love to provide
everything right now, right here, today, except that those medical records are
currently under audit. I am sure that the audit will be completed very soon,
probably around November 6th, which by an incredible coincidence is
the same day that my taxes will finally be released from the audit hold that
never existed. I will also show the entire world Barack Hussein Obama’s real
birth certificate. And Jimmy Hoffa’s remains.
For now, I will continue my victorious march to the White
House after smashing the big loser and recently-declared black person – I think she’s a woman, is she a
woman, no one really knows for sure, but we’ll call her a woman…why not – Kamala Harris who’s never done anything in
her whole life, doesn’t even play golf, and who no one ever even heard of. Me
and my excellent running mate PT Varnum will beat Laffin’ – that’s
l-a-f-f-i-n-apostrophe – Laffin’ Kamala Harris. Let’s see who’s laffin’ –
that’s l-a-f-f-i-n-apostrophe – then.
After
extensive behind-the-scenes wheeling and dealing, President Joe Biden and his
team managed to secure the release of several Americans and dissident Russians
released from Russian captivity. You might remember that Trumpbragged that
once he was re-elected, his hero Putin would simply release one of his prisoners.
As always, he had no plan to offer, just braggadocio (i.e., wet, stanky
bullshit).
After
the prisoners were released, the following exchange occurred
Reporter:
“Trump said he could've gotten the hostages out without giving anything in
exchange. What do you say to that?”
Biden:
“Why didn't he do it when he was president?”
A day
later, the following headline was seen on the internets, this time the MSNBC website
4 reasons Trump isn't celebrating Americans
returning home from Russia
#1 Trump is an asshole
#2 Trumpis an unbelievable asshole
#3 Trumpis a toxically narcissistic asshole
#4 Trumpis an uncaring, spiteful piece of shit
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
Yesterday, Trump was invited to National Association of Black Journalists for a Q & A. Should have been a piece of cake. Yellow cake…uranium, that is.
Somehow Donald the White (Dipped in Orange) did not fit in well. He does not
appear to enjoy the company of Black women. It was surprising
that Trump didn’t show up in blackface.
SPOILER ALERT: It
did not go well. Trump’s babysitters abruptly pulled the plug half way through the planned hour-long exchange, presumably to
give him a bottle and a fresh diaper.
Trump showing off his racist and misogynist bona fides at the NABJ
conference
Among other shining
moments, Trump croaked that he
would absolutely pardon the innocent convicts doing time for the crimes they
were convicted of during the Trump-led attempted coup on January 6, 2021. And of course he railed against
immigrants taking “Black jobs.” Pure comedy gold.
Trump also apparently
believes that being Black is a choice because, as he said, Kamala Harris “was
always promoting her Indian heritage. I didn’t know she was black, until a
number of years ago when she happened to turn black (italics mine, stupid racism his). She
wants to be known as Black…She was Indian all
the way and then all of a sudden she made a turn and she went, she became a
Black person. I think somebody should look into that.” There's no turning black...I mean back from that one, so now the Trumpcampaign is doubling down on it. You go gurl.
It is always a treat
to hear racist white folks trying to impugn a black person’s blacknuss. They said
Obama wasn’t black enough and now they’re playing the same game with Harris,
thinking this will cause Black folks to agree with them,, thus eliminating any
racial connection with the target of their pathetic reverse pandering.
Rahsaan Roland Kirk – Blacknuss
Trump had this to
say in the aftermath
A man came up to me
after my incredible interview with the Blacks. It’s not me. Many people are
saying what I did was absolutely mindboggling. I did a perfect job. I totally won the
interview. Such nasty people. This man came up to me, big, strong man, with tears in his eyes,
said he never cried before in his whole life, and he said to me, “Sir, keep digging, sir.”
2024.png)
