March 6, 2026
In one of the least
shocking updates in Broken News history, Paying Attention™ has learned that Donald
Jeffrey Epstein Trump did in fact not only approve of Noem’s $200-million-dollar
ad campaign, it was his (probably Stephen Miller’s) idea. Homeland Security
Secretary said he instructed her to make ads that “thank me for closing the
border.” Noem proudly disclosed this in public at last year’s CPAP –
Conservative Pimps And Prostitutes (or something) – gathering.
Noem described how
Trump said he didn’t want to be in the ads himself. According to Noem his idea
was, “I want you in the ads, and I want your face in the ads … but I want the
first ad, I want you to thank me. I want you to thank me for closing the
border.”
It is sadly
predictable that most of the media immediately believed Trump’s denial that he
knew anything about the ads. Don’t get me wrong, it is proven fact that Kristi
Noem is a sleazy, self-promoting, lying sack of shit. But, it is even more
certain than the Sun rising in the east and setting in the west every single
day, without fail – at least until our Solar System ceases to be – that every
single word out of Trump’s foul-smelling, decaying, sphincter-like-mouth is
more full of shit than one of his mid-day diapers.
The smart money is
on somehow both of them lying.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Broken News un-Shocking UPDATE.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled arts and crafts.
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