Save Us, Sir

Keep Up The Goof Work

March 21, 2026 

There is only one person, one woman, one man, one whatever, who can stop America’s freefall into total oblivion. Someone with a very, very large, uh-brain, perhaps a very stable genius who is very strong with the cognitive, and has the best words, who came down from heaven (well, from the second floor) on wings of gold (well, on an escalator of gold), with hair so golden (well, it’s not really hair per se, but it does vaguely resemble something like it). Someone who took this once proud and powerful nation, grabbed it with tiny, little hands and turned it right around to remake it in his own image – literally – and plastered his soon-to-be-reviled name* all over everything while he drove it straight off a proverbial cliff into total ruin in an unprecedentedly short time.

There is only one who can save us from himself. And it’s not Studebaker Hawk, it is none other than Donald Jeffrey Epstein Trump.

Donald, Donald, he’s our…I want to say, man?…if he can’t do it, no one can. Let's keep it that way.

Trump’s chief-of-staff Susie Wiles seen here suddenly
realizing she is Trump’s chief-of-staff,
either that, or she just heard him say something.

So Donald, sir, with tears in my eyes (probably an eyelash in there), my hand on my heart (I’d rather it was on your throat) a desperate nation begs you – please keep doing what you’re doing, sir, for just a few months more, and we mean that literally. Just a little more of that Trump magic. Because every day, possibly every hour, with every horrifying move you make, every fetid breath you take, every unstable step you take, more people hate your slimy, stinky guts and want you the fuck out of here.

Flay at the pump

Thank you for your…I want to say, service?...and for your attention to this matter.

______________________________________________
*There are reports that Trump has talked to longtime advisers about what it would take to officially make his birthday a national, federal holiday. Someone should tell this fascist fuckwit that the Trump name will soon be retired and removed from every government structure. Next to his name on the list of presidents, there will be a skull-and-crossbones…and a poop emoji.

I. Mangrey reporting. Keep those cards and letters coming in.