July 31, 2024
Well, this and perhaps a
monthly ration of Soylent Orange
Freak
out…
I
mean, Peace Out.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Fraught
For The Day.
You're welcome.
What has you fraught
for the day?
Wednesday, July 31, 2024
Fraught For The Day – Dick Tater Chips
Tuesday, July 30, 2024
Look Who's Fuckin’ Talking™
July 30, 2024
It’s time for
another installment of our newest, Paying Attention™ special feature:
Look
Who’s Fuckin’ Talking™
For years, Trump’s toxic ruining mate J.V. Dunce – the self-described hillbilly (though it’s a lie) and actual Yale grad – has been shooting off his mouth (if only) about Democrats being anti-children – that is, when he wasn’t busy comparing Trump to “America’s Hitler” or “cultural heroin, a “demagogue” or “just a bad man. A morally reprehensible human being,” among other things he seems to have completely forgotten. And he just can’t stop.
Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-CA) brings the receipts
Vantz has also described rape as “inconvenient.” He says people with children should have more say in our society and our elections. This note’s for him…
Well, listen up you farkakte fuckwad.
So you’re saying
that if you value children you want to get rid of Medicaid? And cut off free
school lunches for children in need of food? Am I getting this right? I’ll
presume you think old folks are garbage since you want to also get rid of
Medicare and Social Security. Right? And you believe that if you’re pro-child
you should be dead-set against a childcare tax credit for working mothers
and/or fathers? Am I close? And speaking of working mothers, you as a
child-loving whatever-you-are, you think that women should stay at home to
raise the children – like your wife the lawyer, who only left her law firm a
week or so ago so she could pretend not to be a working woman? How am I doing
so far?
And last but most, can you see there might be a problem with pretending you give a flying fuck about children – let alone grandchildren – while also pretending that the runaway climate crisis already devastating millions and millions across the globe ?
So far, the only
thing that is becoming obvious, now that everyone has to put up with your Diet
Mountain Dew morality/moronity, is that there is something terribly wrong with
your brain. You should seriously consider trading it in for something less diseased.
Oh what the hell, go ahead. Use it. How much worse could it be?
In closing, do you kiss your couch with that thing?
We
look forward to the day when a special ops team drags Vantz out of a spider
hole in Cleveland.
___________________________________________________
*A word we learned from Hawkeye Pierce at the 4077th M*A*S*H
unit while he searched for a crossword answer to the clue “Five letters: A
Yiddish word for bedbug.”
This has been a Paying Attention™ special feature:
Look
Who’s Fuckin’ Talking™
Monday, July 29, 2024
Schmuck Of The Day – No Add Vance
Cloudy
With A Chance Of Assholes
July 29, 2024
Who’s got two thumbs and all the charisma of a septic boil?
This fuckin’ guy
If you don’t know who this guy is, you’re not alone, and
you’re very lucky. This is JD Vance the Ted Cruz of non-Ted Cruzes.
Vance is a store-bought – by deranged tech bro Peter Thiel (ex-partner of
deranged Elon Musk – oh my, this is turning into a smorgasbord of schmucks)
freshman senator from Ohio, who has some very old-fashioned views – think Cro Magnon
– particularly when it comes to women.
More on this feces-flinging freak next time.
SPECIAL BONUS SCHMUCK
In another demented three-am post on his failing
anti-social media platform, Trump bragged about his “pole” numbers against
Harris and referred to himself as “a fine and brilliant young man named DONALD
J. TRUMP!”
Somebody get this man a mirror, a lobotomy and a
supply of fresh diapers. He is going to be shitting himself non-stop for at
least the next three months…if he makes it that long. He’s really, really old.
Oldest ever to run for president. Older than Reagan when he left office with
his long-standing dementia. Speaking of long-standing dementia…
How young and brilliant he looks
(I first thought this was a deer looking at headlights)
Not only is Trump the King of The Schmucks, but thanks to video evidence everyone is now laughing at his putts. This asshole couldn't win a tournament if he was the only entrant.
Putz putts
This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day.
Fuck yeah.
Sunday, July 28, 2024
Broken News – The Old Man And The She
July 28, 2024
Convicted felon and
Day-One-Dictator Donald Trump
“Christians, get out and vote. Just this time. You won’t
have to do it anymore. Four more years, you know what: it’ll be fixed, it’ll be
fine. You won’t have to vote anymore, my beautiful Christians. I love you
Christians. I'm a Christian. Get out, you’ve got to get out and vote. In four
years, you don’t have to vote again, we’ll have it fixed so good you’re not
going to have to vote.”
Gee, wonder what Trump meant by that – "cough"
Project 2025 "cough" In that moment all the angels lost their wings, slit their
ethereal wrists and Jesus said, “What the fucking fuck? That guy is a
Christian? I’m glad I’m not one. If these assholes ever thought I was coming
back to save their sorry asses, they can now just kiss that shit good-bye. I’m
not going anywhere near these hypocritical shitheads. Jesus H. Christ, what a
bunch of bullshit. Jesus out. All the fucking way out.”
Trump is waffling, in
preparation for whiffing, on showing up to debate his worst nightmare. Well, second
worst nightmare, the first being shunned by television cameras. This nightmare
is running against Kamala Harris. A woman. A woman of color (not a “colored woman”
as some in the Trump
camp have actually said in front of a camera). A woman who can laugh at things
that are funny instead of things that are psychotic. A woman who can dance
without looking like she’s having a difficult bowel movement. A woman who does
not pal around with dictators and douchebags. A woman with bigger and more functional balls
than he has. A woman who does not want to be a “dictator on day one.”
One thing Trump is not running away from, but is in fact
lumbering toward with what for him passes as vigor, is authoritarianism for
America.
No Newt Is Good Newt
Long-time pig and
ratfucker and wife-cheating disgraced ex-Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich is
worried that Kamala Harris “is going to pick nasty, mean, personal fights,
because they can't win any other than possibly with abortion on some terms.” Not
sure what happened to the end of that sentence other than it oozed from the
rotting and older-than-Joe-Biden brain of old Newt. Funny though, coming from
the party whose racist, rapist, fraudulent 34-count-convicted felon and
insurrectionist (oops, left out that whole stolen classified documents thingie)
leader/nominee is the most vile, nasty, mean personal attacker ever to
(dis)grace a presidential campaign. But, whatevs. You do you dickhead.
The other problem
with Newt noise is that it is extremely likely nasty, mean, personal fight
Harris might choose to pick with Disaster J. Trump will have the unique characteristic of being
absolutely based in fact. It’s not her fault that her (and America’s) opponent
is a slithering scumbag with not one single redeeming quality.
As I write this, Trump is busy making fun of Kamala Harris’ name. Class,
all the way. Low class. Bigly low class.
There is a very good
chance that should Trump
actually show up for a debate that he has said would be “easier than Biden,”
the former prosecutor Kamala Harris will make rancid ground beef out of the
already decomposing Trump.
And that my friends,
scares the Fascist/Trump Party to death.
This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled coma.
Saturday, July 27, 2024
WAKE UP! While You Still Can
You Deserve A Break Today...And Maybe Forever
An Imaginary* Product For Surreal Times
July 27, 2024
With only 101 days until the most critical, frightening election of our or most lifetimes, are you still
worried that our dystopian present is poised to decompose into a dystopianer
future? Are you having trouble hoping that Kamala Harris can rid this nation
and the world of having to pay attention to the evil and stupid Clear And
Present Danger J. Trump? Did you even know that Trump just said this to a gathering of
hypocritical Christians:
“Get out and vote.
Just this time. You won’t have to do it anymore. Four more years, you know
what: it’ll be fixed, it’ll be fine. You won’t have to vote anymore, my
beautiful Christians…. Get out, you’ve got to get out and vote. In four years,
you don’t have to vote again, we’ll have it fixed so good you’re not going to
have to vote.”
Yes, that’s right
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_________________________________________________
*Or is it?
Friday, July 26, 2024
Question For The Day – Is That Okay?
Whatever He Says, I’m Against It
July 26, 2024
While President Joe Biden was showing
ultimate class addressing the nation after passing the torch in order to give America
the best chance to stanch the fascist bleeding inflicted by Donald Trump, Trump was in Charlotte, NC,
holding his first Bund rally since Biden withdrew from the race. Clear And
Present Danger J. Trump told his mentally-defective minions, “If you don't mind, I'm not going
to be nice, is that OK?”
Today’s Question For The Day:
Gee, really, fuckface?
I
have two words for Douchey Don: Stop it!
Stop it. (R.I.P. Bob Newhart)
This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.
Thursday, July 25, 2024
Joseph R. Biden v. Clear And Present Danger J. Trump
Biden Bows Out With Grace And Class
July 25, 2024
Biden
ran for president in 2020 because he was worried Trump would turn America into
a dictatorship. He was right. He prevented it. Biden withdrew his candidacy
because he is concerned that Trump will turn America into a dictatorship. He is
still right.
Joe Biden addresses the nation after ending his
re-election bid
Biden
leaving the race in the hands of his vice president has the added benefit of
allowing Biden to focus on continuing to build on his already-Hall-of-Fame-level
legacy without the distraction of campaigning. He can ignore, for the most
part, the festering boil of an opponent.
Biden
really should take advantage of his new Supreme-Court-mandated superpowers. I bet
he could stand in the middle of Mor-on-Lago (well, Bedwetter…I mean, Bedminster
this time of year) and shoot someone (not necessarily kill, but maybe indirectly
nick an ear or something) and not lose any supporters.
During most of Joe Biden’s political career, I was not a fan. I am now. He is not perfect, but he is a patriot – unlike some immediate past presidents – but he will have surely left America better than he found it when he moved into what was left of the White House. The House his predecessor despised and soiled.
How many people get to exit the stage at the top of their game and make their last move the best thing they ever did in their lives? Something selfless and for the greater good. I’m not a believer, but Joe is, so Godspeed Mr. Biden. And thanks for not shoving your personal beliefs on everyone else.
I. Mangrey reporting.
Wednesday, July 24, 2024
Fun Fact For The Day – All Fact Up
Fact
To The Future
July 24, 2024
Presumptive
Democratic nominee Kamala Harris has hit the ground punching.
At her first stop as a presidential candidate on Monday, Vice President Kamala Harris said
Then,
from a band spanking new – and we do mean spanking – Harris campaign ad…
“She prosecuted sex predators. He is one.”
The
gloves are off. Let the ass whoopin’ begin.
So
when will the very old and mentally declining Trump drop out of the race and hand his ass over
to JD Vance?
Seriously,
how old is Trump?
Trump is so old dirt sends him a Father’s Day card.
Trump is so old his idiot followers believe he created God.
Trump is so old he taught Jesus how to ride a dinosaur.
Trump is so old…
Was that not in fact fun?
This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact For The Day.
Tuesday, July 23, 2024
Trump v. America 2024
Dr.
Strangehair
Or:
How I Learned to Keep Worrying and Hate the Bumb
July 23, 2024
Convicted
Felon Donald Trump is not actually running against Joe Biden Kamala
Harris. He is running against America. Trump is running against law. He is
running against order. He is running to rewrite our Constitution. He is running
against women, against all people of color, against Jews, Muslims and the
LGBTQ+ community. Trump is running to dismantle our democracy, flawed though it
may be. For my money, flawed is better than gone any day.
Trump is now very damaged goods. More than ever. He is a desperate, cornered, rabid
beast with everything to lose. He has 34 felony convictions hanging around his
neck. Convictions on 34 crimes without which he very likely loses to Hilary
Clinton in 2016. Some might even say he stole the election.
Countless
Ratpublicans continue running to cameras, microphones and anti-social media to
swear their allegiance to their fallen zero.
The
Fascist/Trump Party has hitched their bedraggled wagon to a stubborn mule with
two legs, a heart condition and foaming at the mouth. Think Monty Python’s Dead
Parrot Sketch except not only is the parrot dead, the conman salesman is
coughing up blood.
This is a dead campaign
Now Trump, the decrepit, withering old man is running against a much, much younger – not younger than his latest trophy wife, who appears to hate his guts – woman. The oldest presidential candidate in American history is no longer running against Trump; he is Trump. Old. Fake. Fascist. Brain-damaged. Smelly. Rapey. Ignorant. Criminal. Add to all that the fact that Team Trump is in full panic mode, whining that it is illegal for Biden to end his candidacy. Desperate. Delusional. Clueless.
Trump may be wishing he really had been shot. His campaign may very well be.
I. Mangrey, nauseously optimistic, but not counting any chickens.
Monday, July 22, 2024
Fraught For The Day – Bad Vance Warning
July 22, 2024
"Vance VP" -
Marsh Family parody
Russian
operative (and convicted felon) Paul Manafort (who worked for the Trump
campaign in 2016 for free since he was likely being paid by Putin) convinced
Trump to pick Mike Pence for his VP the first time around, but for some reason
Pence opted off the ticket in 2024 – something about neck issues. Putin found a
better #2 this time.
Worst
And Worster
To be fair, Vance is probably not dumber; just
worse
Judy Collins - Send In
The Clowns
Freak
out…
I
mean, Peace Out.
I
mean, Pass Out.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Fraught For The Day.
Sunday, July 21, 2024
Fun Fact For The Day – Late Edition: Thanks Joe
Biden
Begs Off – Puts America First…For Reals
July 21, 2024
Just regaining consciousness after this afternoon’s ginormous news that Joe Biden has ended his bid for a second term and endorsed Kamala Harris to carry the baton.
Presumably,
everyone is familiar with the election cycle phenomenon known as the October
Surprise – the shake-up event that frequently takes place in the month before an
election. Like when James Comey stupidly stuck his mouth where it didn’t belong
less than two weeks before Election Day, by sliming Hillary Clinton just before
she bested Trump in the popular vote in 2016. Many of you are also likely
familiar with what happened after that.
This is
all prologue to the fun fact that than the handing of the torch by Joe Biden to
Kamala Harris is the earliest October Surprise in American history.
Unlike
the self-proclaimed “America First” crowd, who follow Trump like rats followed
the Pied Piper, Joe Biden, in a historic move, withdrew his incumbent candidacy
for the greater good. Biden became convinced that this would provide the best
chance of keeping American democracy out of the hands of those who mean to end
it. This is not hyperbole. No malarky. This is no joke. I’m not kidding here
folks.
Was that not in fact fun?
This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact
For The Day.
Trump v. ??
Cherchez
La Femme (But Not In The Original Sexist Sense)
July 21, 2024
What a pitiful, ridiculous little man – wonder
who’s idea the backdrop was
They
Call It Unity (Think They Meant Untidy)
In
case you were smart enough to miss Trump’s unhinged, hateful, incoherent acceptance
screech at his party’s nominating/coronation convention, it was not, as many
useful idiots in the media predicted (for approximately the millionth time) a
new, pivoting Trump. Too many highly paid talking heads kvelled that Donny Bonespurs was a
changed man after his brush with being barely injured. They said he was
humbled, kinder, gentler, more circumspect. Bullfuckingshit.
We do know for sure that the Trump/Vance ticket and the Fascist/Trump Party writ large is (pretending to be) running against everything they actually stand for. They are running against Trump’s record, their own virulent anti-abortion policy (Vance removed the “End Abortion” page from his website), their stance on guns and of course their christofascist plan to unmake America – Project 2025. There was no mention of abortion, gun rights or Project 2025 – though the particulars of it oozed out of every pore of the party’s otherwise policy-free platform – during their recent circus/convention in Milwaukee.
The
Fascist/Trump Party claimed they were bringing a message of unity.
Unity-Or-Else is not unity. Disaster J. Trump did his best at the outset of his
“acceptance” screech. Then the full moon rose and the wereweasel emerged as Trump reverted back to his usual demented,
delusional, vicious, lying beast form. He dutifully read what was written for
him for a while, and then he went full-Trump, rambling on for more than 90 fucking
minutes*, putting many to sleep, causing home viewers to change the channel. It
was not a new Trump after all. It was just more of the shame.
Now
What?
Despite
all of that it is difficult to decide whether or not Joe Biden needs to bow out
of the presidential contest against someone who should not even be allowed to
run for the office. Calls for the 46th president are growing louder
and coming from increasingly influential quarters within the Democratic Party,
though it is mostly the conservaDems making most of the stupid noises demanding
Biden drop out. Still, many believe that Biden has stepped in too much
political shit, despite probably going into the books policy-wise as the best
president for everyday Americans since LBJ (who was certainly no liberal lion,
but hey, you take what you can get). Now Biden has COVID and must take time
that he does not have, off from campaigning. This, while his detractors
continue pummeling him, and if they are not careful, themselves.
If
Biden does indeed step aside, there is really only one person who can step into
his candidacy.
The
only people to have brought Trump to justice in any meaningful (barely) way
are women. E. Jean Carroll took Trump to the cleaners (Spoiler Alert: he’s still
filthy) to the tune of three-quarters-of-a-billion dollars, and a judge
insisting that what Trump did to Carroll was rape. Letitia James had Trump’s license to do business in New York State
revoked and lightened his wallet by $355 million after winning a civil fraud
case against Trump. Stormy Daniels stood her ground and led to Trump being convicted of 34 fucking felonies.
For
the moment at least, Tanya Chutkin and Fani Willis have not played their final
hands and remain in the game. They continue to insist that Trump deserves his
day in court to clear his good name…just kidding, they want to bring Maxwell’s
fucking hammer down upon his horribly dyed head for the crimes we all saw and
heard him commit.
Kamala
Harris, besides being the only person who can have immediate and total access
to Biden’s war chest, happens to be a woman. I’m not a big Harris fan by any
means, but she is no stranger to kicking ass. And she has bigger balls than
decrepit Old Man Trump.
Also
not to be ignored is the fact that Democrats survive in no small part, as does
any semblance of life, liberty and/or the pursuit of happiness in this country,
on the backs of Black women. Democrats, if you force Biden to withdraw, skip
over Kamala Harris at your peril.
All
that being said, anybody or anything should be able to defeat a fascistic,
toxic narcissist and convicted felon whose brain is melting, and whose soul
rotted away in the womb. If this proves untrue...
Earache my eye
_____________________________________________________
*Making it factually the longest, and by almost all accounts (certainly
mine) the most pathetically stupid, boring and deranged acceptance speech of
all time.
I. Mangrey reporting.
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