Thought For The Day – Unconventional Unthinking

The Assholes Formerly Known As Republicans

July 19, 2024

The F/TNC (Fascist/Trump National Convention) is happening, despite all logic, just days after an attempted assassination of the party’s presumptive dictator…I mean, candidate. It is difficult to imagine a larger quantity of dim bulbs. One would be excused for mistaking the entire hall for a giant box of hammers.

This gaggle of anti-government goons is poised to formally nominate demented, deranged, disgraced, twice-impeached, 34-count-convicted felon, rapist and failed insurrection leader as their nominee. USA! USA!

The presumptive nominee entered with the most conspicuous, what appears to be bulletproof shield over the tiny wound he sustained when another radical right-wing nutjob tried to blow a hole in Trump’s empty cranium, but only managed to kill one and critically wound two fellow felon supporters. You know that under any other circumstances the morbidly vain Don would want the bandage to be invisible – remember, this is the same guy who refused to wear a COVID mask because he didn’t like the way it looked.

Trump did not get one of Musk's trucks,
but he is getting $180M of Elon's dollars

Now Trump looks like they strapped one of Elon Musk’s oft-recalled Cybertrucks over what is basically a paper cut on his ear.* Perhaps most surprising, Trump’s newly announced VP pick – the former Trump hater (who called Trump “America’s Hitler” among other choice things) J.D. Vance – was not also sporting a similar over-sized ear cast, but many other attendees were proudly showing off their stupid by encasing their own ears is some kind of bandage-esque blob. You might remember that these are the same people who, like their brainless leader, threw perpetual hissy-fits over wearing masks to minimize the spread of a very deadly, highly contagious virus. You might remember, but they do not.

Tiny-brained wipers of other people’s bottoms

The otherwise long-invisible Melania Trump did manage to crawl out from under her rock to provide proof-of-life by making an appearance alongside her cheating felon of a husband. Melania was MIA throughout the Stormy Daniels trial and generally refuses to be seen in public with our without the alleged father of her child. We have not been able to verify the exact monetary compensation she was given for this very rare public appearance.

Meanwhile, in Floridaland, Trump-appointed ersatz judge Aileen Cannon has finally attempted to assassinate the otherwise slam-dunk stolen classified documents case against the caught-red-handed classified document thief. Citing the anti-democratic, fringe opinion of Hitler fanboy Harlan Crow’s wholly owned Supreme Court destroyer Clarence Thomas, Cannon decided that the office of Special Prosecutor suddenly did not exist.

Completely legitimate Special Prosecutor Jack Smith is insisting to differ (Smith don’t beg), appealing this absurd ruling from one of the most incompetent, laughable members of the federal judiciary.

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*There remains no proof whatsoever that any bullet made contact with the MAGA Martyr’s ear. None. Zero. Not even a fake report claiming such.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.