Philadelphia
Eagles enjoying their first moments as Super Bowl champs
Thus far we have not heard whether Don #47 is claiming that
the final score of the Super Bowl is fake news. He apparently stormed out long
before the game was over, just as he did while much of the final vote count in
the 2020 presidential election was being tallied. Only this time his team was never ahead, never
close, almost never stood a chance, something which, as we all know all too
well, would never stop him from spewing his alternative facts.
Don is a very, very small and
mentally ill old man. His unique blend of dementia, toxic narcissism, unrivaled
arrogance and unbridled stupidity would frighten The Hulk.
The Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles should
preemptively decline the White House invitation they will likely not get from
the petty tyrant/ginormous asshole currently residing there. Some of the
players chose not to go last time, and Our Lord and Lesion has not in any way
changed for the better since then.
The
last time was in 2018, after Don endlessly criticized NFL players who kneeled
or raised their fists during the national anthem to protest racial injustice.
Some Eagles players reportedly cited Don’s racist bullshit as a reason to
decline the traditional Super Bowl champion visit to the White House. Don
responded unsurprisingly by cancelling the event.
The Philadelphia team doesn’t need to dine on
room temperature fast food in the presence of the flaming racist who would just
as soon shit all over them – as his disgusting cultists did to the Capitol and
as he is currently doing to America – as shake their hands. Besides, Don is likely to have the team either
arrested or deported.
I. Mangrey, reveling. Almost forgot what it's like to enjoy something.
Rep. Andy Ogles (R-Tenn.) proposed an amendment
Thursday that would allow presidents three terms in office – as long as they
did not serve two consecutive four-year stints. While completely at odds with
the Constitution, this amendment conveniently excludes Obama, Bill Clinton and
George WTF Bush.
Now why didn’t I think of that? Oh, now I
remember why – I’m not a deranged Fascist/Trump
Party member who equates the Constitution with toilet paper. Or democracy with a
suggestion box.
Ogles faced an FBI investigation into potential
fraud involving campaign finance statements he filed during his first run for
Congress in 2022. Less than two weeks after Don #47 was sworn in, the Justice
Department withdrew from the on-going legal dispute over the FBI's access to
evidence seized from Don’s ally Ogles last year, likely signaling that the charges
will be dropped. Because in Trump’s
America only criminals are immune from prosecution.
Is it possible that Ogles proposing a third term
for his cult leader is his way of saying thanks, or is Ogles just an anti-democratic
piece of shit? Inquiring minds want to know.
Just like the old expression: it’s not being paranoid if they really are
after you, calling this a fascist takeover is not hyperbole when the world’s
richest man who paid for his guy (who previously tried to violently take over
the government) to become president and who now has control over his guy and
much (soon-to-be all?) of our government’s financial data and control, not to
mention now having unfettered access to all of our financial information,
payment systems – Social Security and Medicare payments, tax returns, Social
Security numbers, bank statements, etc. and will not shy away from using that
information for his own greedy, megalomaniacal, sociopathic purposes.
Trump. Musk. Go.
Muskand Trump have already crippled NOAA, USAID, the FAA, the FBI and the CIA. Even if the courts determine some or all of these depredations must be reversed, long-term damage has already been done.
Just know that it's going to get worse before it gets much worse.
From
the rarely relevant New York Times:
The First Signs of
Tyranny, From People Who Missed Them
NYT Opinion
I
guess this is why we have a Second Amendment, whatever that means. I have no
idea. I would never imply such a thing. Viva la Trump!
Trump is not Hitler – he is still a work in
progress.
Give him time…no seriously, somebody, give him time already.
WTFF**
________________________________________________ *Of equally diminutive mental stature.
**What The Fascinating Fuck
The idiot formerly known as Kanye, old pal of Don
#47, was at it again. In a flurry of posts on good-old-reliable-X, formerly
known as Twitter and current home fElon “Seig Heil” Murk, Con Ye once again let
loose on his favorite target – Jews. With a sprinkling of wife-aimed misogyny
thrown in for bad measure.
Ye, seen here realizing what a fucking asshole he is
Some of his clever bon mots included, “I love
Hitler”, “I’m a Nazi”, “Some of my best
friends are Jewish and I don’t trust any of them” and the classically artistic “I
don’t even know what the fuck anti Semitic means. It’s just some bullshit
Jewish people made up to protect their bullshit”. A true genius.
Maybe he should have a little sit-down with the
Mossad.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day.
Fuck yeah.
Lemon
Musk has latched his AI-and-Ketamine-addled brain onto the United States
Treasury. He and his crack team of teen INCELs, he calls engineers* – between
the ages of 19 and 24 – stormed the Treasury, threatened to call federal
marshals on those who work there, and gained access to pretty much everything
about everyone on file there. The-guy-who-bought-the-presidency has put himself
(I know, Don thinks he gave fElon the job) in charge of trimming the fat,
90% of the meat and an untold amount of bone off the federal government.
Remember, this is the guy who created the Cybertruck and ran Twitter right –
and I mean FAR RIGHT – into the ground, turning it from your average everyday
hellscape into a white nationalist, fascist, neo-nazi, psycho-shriek-fest.
Musk and his crack team of crackpot children at
Treasury
fElon
is also the guy who put up the money ($288M to be exact – as far as we know),
and who knows what else, to ensure that a traitorous, convicted felon, beholden
to fElon became the 47th and pre-certified worst fucking president
in American history, a title he is earning every single excruciating, fucking
day.
One
of Musk’s first blowtorch-haircuts was the U.S. Agency for International
Development (USAID), which for 60 years (that’s 60 with a 60) has addressed
hunger, disease and poverty for those in desperate need across the globe.
Musk’s fiscal haircut, much like his own and that of his buddy Don’s, could not
be more ridiculous and frightening.
from www.USA.gov
Musk’s
mortal wounding, heading toward first-degree murder of USAID is already causing
death and devastation all over the world. Critical food and medicine have
already stopped flowing to people who were surviving only with the help of
USAID. This is a huge gift to China who has already begun providing assistance
to people in need around the globe. This is something that powerful nations,
especially those who prefer to present themselves as role models, and know the
value of nurturing alliances, let alone carrying out acts of charity and
morality.
Many
people are complaining that no one person, let alone an unelected, sociopath
can simply eliminate a government organization created by an act of Congress. These
concerned legal scholars, legislators and others say this is completely
illegal. Those people are living in a dream world. That Constitution stuff is
so 1776.
With
the stroke of his dick, Musk has killed USAID, or at least put it in a coma, with Musk standing over the bed jumping up and down like a dip-shit, ready to press a MyPillow over its face. Now that he personally has
access to all our data, including our Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, all
of our financial information, fElon has free reign to cancel those funds as
well.
Word
has it that an asteroid is likely to make contact with what’s left of the
climate-crisis-ravaged Earth. Researches say that this answer to Humanity Gone
Wild “might hit our planet on December 22, 2032”, though they say that there is
“a less than 2% chance” of it actually hitting Earth. That does not mean we
should give up hope.
We’re
going to need a bigger asteroid.
______________________________________________ *One of fElon’s little twerps is quoted as saying “I was racist
before it was cool.”
By all accounts 77,301,997 Americans voted for
convicted felon and self-professed Dictator-On-Day-One
(And-Apparently-On-Every-Other-Fucking-Day) Don on November 5, 2024. According
to those who talk about such things 24/7 the main issue (besides misogyny,
racism, fascist tendencies and out-and-out stupidity) was THE PRICE OF EGGS, or
to coin a phrase that Don was incalculably and ludicrously proud of
“introducing” the very special word that no one had ever thought to use – groceries.
Pure genius I tells ya
Not Exactly An
Egghead
As always, Little Donny
Duncecap is impressed with his wording. He gives not one little shit about THE PRICE OF EGGS, which he told us as soon as he took office. And now egg prices are
through the roof. But Donny is such a smart little boy because
he knows words. He thinks no one else knows words. Well, I know a few myself. And
I’m not afraid to use them. Words like brain-dead (just made that up, how do
you like it?). Or schadenfreude (pretty spiffy, no?). Or how about Fuckface Von Clownstick (which Jon Stewart claims he
made up just because he was the first one to say it). I could go on, but you
seem like nice people so I’ll stop. For now.
And
she now worships at the feet of and is currently Secretary of Homeland Security
under Cricket…I mean Dictator-On-Day-One Don, who makes Cricket’s behavior look
like that of the winner of the Westminster Dog Show.
Don
is an 78-year-old man-baby. And talk about “untrainable” and “aggressive
personality”.
Do
the math.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought
For The Day.
Yesterday, during
a joint appearance with fellow criminal Benjamin Netanyahu,
Dictator-On-Day-Fifteen Don did not shoot from the hip. Deadly Don shot
straight from his big, fat, dumb ass. We can all smell it from here.
Even
Netanyahu was taken aback when Don blurted out one of the most shocking, insane
and disgusting concepts-of-a-plan imaginable while the two men stood together
in front of the American press. It was obvious the Israeli leader, had not been
apprised of this fucked up bullshit prior to Don’s public disservice
announcement.
Both of these bastards
belong in jail
Seemingly
out of nowhere, Don suggested that the United States – yes, that United States
– support the permanent removal of all Palestinians so that he (We? No thanks
dickhead.) can “own Gaza” and develop it into “the Riviera of the Middle East”
so “world people” can move in and make Gaza great again, or what-the-fuck-ever.
When asked if he was fucking serious (not in so many words) Der Furor rambled
on and on about making a great real estate deal out of the current “demolition
zone” that is Gaza since Netanyahu and Hamas turned it to rubble.
It’s
a good thing Don’s scum-in-law Jared fixed the Middle East during Don’s first
term, or this could mean trouble.
According
to one expert, Don’s shocking pronouncement, which was surely preceded by no
thinking whatsoever* – after all, Don generally only consults with himself, as
he has told us in the past – will most certainly result in some form of
horrific, most likely deadly blowback from any number of bad actors in the
region.
No
one is claiming that Don should think before he speaks. Besides, it’s difficult
to teach a very old, dementia-addled old rabid dog new tricks. While in theory he
possibly should think, he should never speak. Ever. Someone needs to tell
gramps to STFU, get him on the proper meds and into a well-padded room for the
duration.
Get
ready for even more bad craziness.
______________________________________________ *Although some are saying this was actually a new policy announcement
rather than more ravings from a known lunatic. Not sure which is worse.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Oy
vey.
This is not a
correction of anything originating here at Paying Attention™. Our hands are
clean on this one.
There was an
apparent mix-up with Punxsutawney Phil on Groundhog Day. The poor, put-upon
groundhog of annual fifteen-minutes-of-fame fame was reported to have seen his
shadow and scurried back to the safety and anonymity of his comfy abode, signaling
another six weeks of winter.
However, there was a
confounding factor that was not evident until careful review by GD replay
officials.
It turned out that
what caused Phil to make a hasty retreat was not his shadow, and therefore was not
a harbinger of much more winter. It turned out to be some insensitive oaf with
the likeness of our intolerable 47th president. No, not fElon Mush, the other
guy. With the orange pancake makeup and discolored cotton-candy-hair. Phil got
one eyeful of that coagulating countenance and hot-footed it back underground. Which
we all may need to consider if Der Furor continues his wrathful, fascist
rampage.
Hell, seeing that puss
makes me want to crawl into a dark hole for four years. No groundhog
should have to be subjected to such affrontery.
Wannbe-King Don (not to be confused with Don King, especially during Black History Month) has been in office again for two long years now...wait, I'm being told that is two weeks. Weeks, not years. Well, you could have fooled me. I’ll blame it on theRent-A-Coma. As we have barely survived these two years...I mean weeks, it
is time to admit that the emperor does in fact have clothes. They don’t
actually fit, and his tie goes down past his tiny...hands, but they are apparently his, since all his clothes are similarly
ill-fitting.
Okay, so he does have clothes. BFD. What
the emperor does not have are brains, empathy, human emotions, common sense,
business sense (other than recognizing that there are millions of suckers just
waiting for the next excuse to send him what’s left of their hard-earned
dollars, which are barely enough to live off of thanks to the lack of a living
wage for so many, thanks in turn to the policies of the emperor’s political party), or
the ability to stop breaking laws.
It would be so much better if he had any of those things, and no fucking clothes. I think I speak for all of us when I say that we would all compliment him bigly on his very strong and powerful wardrobe.
Freak
out…
I
mean, Peace Out.
This has been your Paying Attention™ Fraught
For The Day. We’re in some deep Don-Don.
It's time once again for one of our readers' favorite Paying Attention™ special features (Keep those cards and letters coming in):
Look
Who’s Fuckin’ Talking™
Much of our current political
milieu can be traced back to disgraced ex-president Richard Nixon who was
forced to resign as the impeachment noose was tightening around his miserable
neck. Actually, some good things came from President Lemonade. Thanks to Tricky
Dick we got inspectors general – non-partisan watchdogs put in place to protect
the American public from abuses perpetrated by government officials – like Nixon – at all
levels. No one was supposed to be immune from oversight.
Ha!
However, the main
culprit responsible for the descent of American political reality is none other
than the erstwhile costar of Bonzo the Chimp – Ronald Wilson Reagan. His trickle-down,
criminal presidency (and let’s not forget all the Alzheimer’s) set the stage
for today’s decrepit, dishonest and greed-fueled Fascist/Trump Party (nee
Republican). Reagan was the first
to beat the dumb-drum about government being the enemy. The MAGAts have run
with it all the way to Jan 6 and beyond.
Douchebag
Killer Mike – Reagan (well worth a look)
We bring you this
little tidbit on the heels of Trump’s most recent assault on America. After his
Friday Night Massacre a week ago – firing inspectors general who would not forsake
their oaths to the Constitution in favor of pledging allegiance to Don, and
after this past Friday Night Massacre – firing the leadership of the FBI, along
with all agents there who dared apply the law to the leader of the Jan 6 insurrection
against the government. Again, under cover of the weekend, this past Saturday
night Dictator-On-Day-One Don announced massive tariffs (25%) on Canada and Mexico,
along with a less horrific tariff (10%) on China. The Stock Market, which was
thriving right up to the 2024 election of Don, immediately responded by taking
a further dive. While this is not a real indicator of how most Americans
survive economically, it is only the first sign of the horrors to come.
Martin Mull – Eggs
The main reason Don
got elected – fucking egg prices – has done the exact opposite of improving,
which candidate Don promised he would fix very quickly and easily. “When I win,
I will immediately bring prices down, starting on Day One”. He also said, “I
won an election based on that. We're going to bring those prices way down”. Of
course, the moment he got in office suddenly insisted it would be very
difficult and not something a president can just fix easily. Everything is
about to get much more expensive as we are now embroiled in a self-inflicted
trade war* – mostly with our allies.
Speaking of eggs,
Don is now planning to ignore the burgeoning bird flu that has already resulted
in the euthanizing of 137 million chickens in this country, over the past two
years, in order to try and stop the spread of the virus which has already spread
across species. Dictator-On-Day-One Don will likely stop allowing the infected
birds to be killed so we can have more (and infected) eggs – just like he
thought that not counting cases of COVID-19 deaths would make the virus less
deadly.
Back to the Great Communicator. As the old saying
goes, even a broken clock is right twice a day. In that spirit, here is one of
the few valuable statements to come from old Ronny:
Our peaceful trading partners are not our enemies;
they are our allies. We should beware of the demagogues who are ready to
declare a trade war against our friends – weakening
our economy, our national security, and the entire free world – all while
cynically waving the American flag.
Though it was not Eisenhower’s dire warning before
him:
In the councils of government, we must guard against
the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the
military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced
power exists and will persist.
Or Biden’s more recent warning:
Today, an oligarchy is taking shape in America of
extreme wealth, power and influence that literally threatens our entire
democracy, our basic rights and freedom, and a fair shot for everyone to get
ahead.
Don, who insisted ad nauseam that only foreign
interests would feel the sting of his idiotic tariffs is now telling Americans
that “THERE MAY BE SOME PAIN” coming from his
ego-driven, thought-free tariffs that will “BE WORTH THE PRICE THAT MUST BE
PAID” (caps his), and is threatening further tariffs if they dare to
retaliate, which all countries involved have already indicated they will do.
Hopefully you’re not reliant on things like food, clothing, shoes, booze, medicines, sporting goods, petroleum, household goods, toys, computers, appliances, cars or other threatened items that will surely be affected by Don’s latest disastrous douchebaggery. Other than that, there should be nothing to fret over.
Unfortunately, he enjoys the occasional golden
shower
And, as if all this economic mayhem wasn’t enough, Don has fired the director of
the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau – two years before his term was to
expire. Not necessarily because the CFPB was the brainchild of Elizabeth
Warren, though that undoubtedly made Don’s move that much sweeter; but more importantly,
because – as the name implies – it protects consumers. That is a big no-no for
Don and his minions.
Rest assured however, that there will be no pain whatsoever for Don and his filthy, stinkin', blood-stained too-well-to-do buddies wringing their hands and our necks.
The smart money is on this not going well for America or Americans.
_______________________________________________ *The Rupert Murdoch-owned Wall Street Journal
said that Don has launched the “dumbest trade war in history”. They/we ain’t
seen nothin’ yet.
Before the electrons had even stabilized on
this story, Dictator-On-Day-One Don had to back down from his idiotic threat. Though
he claimed to have won concessions from Mexico and Canada, he is as is always
the case, full of shit. He backed down. He caved. Surrendered. He’s a loser, a phony, a wimp, a bully without
the muscle, who ran away to change his diaper at the
first sign of fighting back.
We would be remiss if we did not mention the following: Don is mentally deteriorating man-baby narcissist and an unparalleled moron.
As many commemorate the 80th
anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz, others seem more than ready to let
bygones be bygones. One of those heartless weasels is none other than the
richest man-child in the world – fElon Mush.
Just in case there are still any doubts about
what fElon Mush intended during Don's inauguration festivitieswhen fElon smacked his right hand on his heart and then
shot that right arm at a very familiar and troubling angle, turned to face the
people seated behind him who might have missed the fullness of the gesture, and
repeated his salute for the cheap seats, many may have missed an important dot
that needed to be connected in order to better complete the not-so-hidden
picture.
A few days after Mush made the gesture he seemed
so comfortable with he probably does it in his sleep, perhaps wishing to give the intentions of his salute unambiguous context, he also made an appearance via video at a rally
of the Alternative für Deutschland Party in Germany. The AfD Party has been
known to engage in Nazi rhetoric. The anti-Semitic, fascist-trending
billionaire from South Africa, who recently purchased a president and
significant portion of America’s federal government, told Germany’s far right
party to let go of Nazi guilt. Mush appeared at the Nazi-loving event just two days before the 80th
anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz.
Surely the greedy psychopath Mush feels no guilt about growing up in Apartheid South Africa with his wealthy extremely white family. Surely he also believes that Americans should not bother with remorse, and certainly not any reparations for the national sin of slavery. And surely it is well past time for even thinking about this country’s Original Sin against this land’s original inhabitants.
“It's OK to be proud to be German, and not to lose that in some sort of multiculturalism (italics mine) that dilutes everything”. Professional racist/anti-Semite Elon Musk, addressing modern-day Nazis, January 25, 2025
Mush told the new Nazi-wannabes that Germans had “too much focus on past guilt, and we* need to move beyond that. Children should not be guilty of the sins of their parents, let alone their great-grandparents”, obviously referencing the country's Nazi past. No, fElon children are not guilty of the sins of their ancestors, but they should wish and work to avoid repeating them at the very least.
Feeling guilty is much different than being guilty.
Mush’s $250 billion played no small part in
putting Dictator-On-Day-One Don back in the White House despite his 34 felony
convictions and countless other transgressions against innumerable individuals
and America itself. Mush is currently the owner of the American president and is in control of most of the federal government. This is not hyperbole. He is no doubt curious to see if he can be of similar "service" to Germany. He is probably excited since he won’t have to start from scratch and build new camps
and gas chambers; he can just refurbish the originals.
Don made another of
his patented “perfect phone calls”. This time to Denmark.In a fiery telephone call with Denmark’s premier
Mette Frederiksen, Don insisted he was serious in his determination to take
over Greenland according to senior European officials.
Don’s verbal nuke
lasted 45 minutes. Five current and former senior European officials briefed on
the call said the conversation had gone very badly.
Don calmly blowing a gasket at the Danish
premier
One source familiar with the phone tantrum told the
Financial Times “It was horrendous”.
According to another anonymous official, “He was very firm.
It was a cold shower. Before, it was hard to take it seriously. But I do think
it is serious, and potentially very dangerous.”
Part of Denmark’s response to Don’s bullshit, after Frederiksen attempted in vain to reason
with Captain Dementia and reach some kind of sane compromise, and after another
Danish official told the Adderall-addled asshole to “fuck
off”, came from a
Danish bakery…
Hopefully they taste better
than he looks, though surely not the point.
They sure got the coloring right.
Why the fuck not?
Marc Short, who
served as chief of staff to ex-Vice President Mike Pence, told the news outlet,
“Back then, he was trying to consolidate power in the Republican Party. Today, Trump is the party.” Yes, the party like it's 1933 in Germany.
You’re just figuring
that out? It’s been that way for nearly eight years.
And that my friends,
scares Ratpublicans to death. Fingers crossed.
