Good Times People, Good Times

On This Date In American History   

May 10, 2025

And we thought things were a mess then.

May 10, 1974, the beginning of the end of Richard Nixon, in the House

And we thought he was a dick.

I. Mangrey, still angry after all these years. 

MOBY-DON (WHO IS ALSO A DICK)

Thar He Blows…In Fact, He Blows Everywhere

May 9, 2025

Many a tale has been told of behemoths as heroes, villains, predators, quarry, pitchman. Goliath, Moby-Dick, Godzilla, King Kong, Bigfoot, The Hulk, Jaws, Reacher, Paul Bunyan, the Jolly Green Giant.

One particular giant, was a so-called monster of the deep who had a mentally unstable, obsessed and delusional hunter who refused to cease his pursuit of the innocent beast. The unhinged captain Ahab, due to his tragic mental illness and deep-seated lack of humanity, deemed the behemoth evil. These two, the hunter and the prey and the futilely insane chase comprised the classic MOBY-DICK.

Though long dead, Melville has managed to pen a sequel, turning, at long last, the tables. It is no longer the ship’s captain who has lost all contact with reality. Now everyone involved knows that the elusive, blubbery quarry is in fact the evil, demented blowhard that must be caught and ended before not only the crew of Pequod II, but the ship itself, and the ocean it sails on and the planet on which the ocean exists will all be brought to ruin. The new captain, Baha must complete his crucial mission to put a stop to the monster hell-bent of total destruction.

And so, Paying Attention™, long known for its creation of and fondness for the arts, is honored to bring you, for the first time anywhere, the opening paragraph of the posthumous masterpiece by the late great Hannibal Lecter…sorry, Herman Melville. Here then are the opening words of MOBY-DON.

 

MOBY-DON (WHO IS ALSO A DICK)

CHAPTER 1. Loomings.

Stop calling me Ishmael. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having few if any fucks to give, and nothing particular to interest me in politics, I thought I would turn my attentions to less nauseating parts of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the screaming voices in my head and regulating my insides. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the brain; whenever it is a deadly cold, unrelenting December in my soul; whenever I find myself longingly pausing before coffin warehouses, and imagining which style would suit my form and how soon it might be nice for one last sleep; and especially whenever the doings of the world get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong power of the will to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, in the path of some over large motor vehicle—then, I account it high time to cease paying attention as soon as I can. This is my substitute for banging my head against the wall. With a philosophical flourish Cato throws himself upon his sword; I quietly take to the bed, practically suffocating myself in pillows and too many blankets. There is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feelings towards the toxicity of politics with me.*

Well, there you have it. Likely another masterpiece by Melville. They said it couldn’t be done. Actually, now that I think about it, they might have said it shouldn’t be done. Either way, they said something and it has been done. I wouldn’t rush out to your local bookstore – if you even have one – because chances are it won’t be available anywhere in the near future, what with all the book bannings and burnings, and fascism and whatnot.

______________________________________________
*Full disclosure: Melville did not actually write this posthumously. It was apparently penned by Melville’s great, great, great, great grandson I. Melville using as a nom de plume that of his great, great, great, great grandfather.

I. Melville reporting, etc.

Schmuck Of The Day – It’s Don

Super Schmuck

May 8, 2025

While Dumb Don is a schmuck every day, he is not always the Schmuck Of The Day. Others may stand out, as it were, from time to time, but this should never distract from the fact that Don does drastically douchey deeds daily.

Looks like Don’s comb-over-and-over-and-over is almost over*

Don actually said something that is true, though not the way he meant it. The words are accurate, but the meaning he presumably ascribed to them is unmitigated bullshit.

The quote: “I said, we are in a transition period.”

Fact check – true. We do appear to be in a transition period. However, we are transitioning from bad to worse. At best.

_______________________________________________
*What a schmuck.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day. Fuck yeah.

This Is Not A Good Sign

They Can Run, But They Hopefully Won’t Hide

May 7, 2025

As you are no doubt aware, we here at Paying Attention™ persistently strive for optimism and the utmost positivity, though from time to time it might not appear that way. That is only because things are so irreparably fucked up it can be difficult to let our sunny dispositions break through the current nuclear-winter-cloud of sheer evil and stupidity.

Today however, we are completely unable to sugarcoat what might be some of the most disheartening and troublesome news we’ve heard in quite some time. And that is saying many things.

Professor Timothy Snyder is an historian specializing in the history of Central and Eastern Europe, the Soviet Union, and the Holocaust (which contrary to the opinion of many a Trump cultist is a real thing that actually happened in the real world). Snyder and two other professors have decided to leave their positions at Yale. But not for Harvard or some other East Coast elite institution – you know, the ones that Christo-fascist, Trump-licking assholes like Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley and JD Vance always associate with the “radical left” but attended personally.

Snyder is the author of, among others, the seminal works On Freedom and On Tyranny, being an established and highly respected expert on both. Snyder and his colleagues are moving north. But not to Massachusetts or Maine. They have all gone to Toronto. In Canada. Which, contrary to a certain syphilitic, psychopathic White House inhabitant we know, is and always will be an independent nation that has the bad fortune of sharing a border with the syphilitic, psychopathic autocrat’s Amerika.

Hopefully, these wise educators will still find time to help those less fortunate who are unable to escape to friendlier locales.

20 Lessons on Tyranny: by Timothy Snyder/read by John Lithgow

I. Mangrey recoiling. 

Make Alcatraz Great Again

Dumbass Don, Keepin’ It Unreal

May 6, 2025

People are getting bent out of shape because Disaster-in-chief Don is croaking (ooh, I just got a warm, fuzzy feeling all over my body, but I digress) about reopening Alcatraz, the notorious former prison on a California island. Don has been spending the day-or-so-a-week he is not golf-cheating beating the living shit out of America. He has instead recently turned his unwanted attention to making Alcatraz great again. You go gurl.

As always, Don is talking about himself and his cult and scabinet

Personally I think it’s a good idea. Alcatraz could come in handy. It would be a great place for everyone in this administration once they are out of office. They should all be there right now, but I can wait a minute.

Next on Don's fuckit list: Make Auschwitz Great Again

I. Mangrey reporting. Patiently hating.

Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*

 

Luckily For Don, She Didn’t Ask Him His Name

May 6, 2025

During a recent Meet The Press interview with Kristen Welker this happened:

Reporter: “Your secretary of state says everyone who's here, citizens and non-citizens deserve due process. Do you agree Mr. President?” 

Asshole: “I don't know. I'm not a lawyer.” 

Reporter: “Don’t you need to uphold the Constitution of the United States, as president?”

Asshole: “I don’t know.”

Don seems not to know what anyone with half a brain (which excludes most of his base) knows: 1) he is supposed to observe due process, and 2) he is supposed to uphold the Constitution of the United States. I suppose he could be feigning ignorance, but that’s just fucking stupid, like anyone who believes a single word out of its mouth.

But Wait, There’s More…

From the same mind-blowing, soul-vacuuming interview:

Reporter: “When does it become the Trump economy?”

Asshole: “It partially is right now. I think the good parts are the Trump economy and the bad parts are the Biden economy.”

Psychotic as all fuck.

_________________________________________
*As always, the full context does not make it any better. Also, good chance this feature will be popping up constantly for at least the next four years. Sorry.

This has been another painful edition of Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*
Remember, it will get worse before it gets much worse.

Pic Of The Day – Poop Don Pall I

Not A Thousand Words, But Worth It   

May 5, 2025

First, apologies to anyone who has not already seen this horrific image (no, not the one above, the one below). This is the kind of blinkered, Philistine, pig-ignorance we have come to expect from AI in the hands of those non-creative garbage with decimal points or minus signs in front of their IQ scores.

This is the fever dream of the creature who makes atheists look like true believers, and many true believers look like agents of Satan. This includes lily-livered Lindsey Graham who said of the idea,

“I was excited to hear that President Trump (his words, not mine) is open to the idea of being the next Pope. This would truly be a dark horse candidate, but I would ask the papal conclave and Catholic faithful to keep an open mind about this possibility! The first Pope-U.S. President combination has many upsides. Watching for white smoke…. Trump MMXXVIII!”

The “human” soul vacuum reposted this image while (NOT) joking about taking the place of the deceased Pope Francis, the man he recently disrespected every which way but Sunday at his funeral, by dressing like a clown, falling asleep at the service and then leaving early to play golf. All this, as well as disrespecting all religions, every day, in every way.

Anyway, here it is in all its gory

There are no words, only this…

This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.

Paying Attention™ Secret Word

Zero Truth, And Consequences

May 5, 2025

America and the world at large have somehow managed to survive the first 100 days of Death-To-America-Don’s presidency. Not necessarily intact mind you, but still mostly among the living. Some of us still even have jobs and can afford food and shelter…but don’t hold your breath.

Dumb Ass Don and his mental midget minions are bragging about this being “the most consequential first 100 days in presidential history”. They keep using that word. I do not think it means what they think it means.

 Inigo Montoya

To be fair, there is a way in which this could very well be the most consequential first 100 days in presidential history. However, the consequences of this presidency are at best, dire. The bombing of Pearl Harbor was consequential. The bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki were very consequential events in human history, especially for those who lived in those cities and thereabouts.*

Speaking of consequences, President Hindenburg has the lowest approval rating of any president for his first 100 days, while boasting the fewest legislative accomplishments during his first 100 days than any president since the 1950s. Isn't he special.

There have also been consequences outside our borders, even the ones Old Butterbrain thinks he can just erase with his over-sized Sharpie. Both Canada and Australia had elections that were expected to swing to the right. These elections both ended up trashing the candidates/parties who rolled with Donny Boy.

In response to the growing majority of Americans loudly and constantly complaining about the worsening consequences of his historically terrible “policies”, Don has put a new twist on the old “Let them eat cake” meme from long, long ago. Don’s version is “Let them eat shit.”

And he is not kidding. Since you are not him, he thinks you are worthless. Believe me.

____________________________________________________
*Hey, at least I didn’t compare him to Hitler.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Secret Word.
Don’t tell anyone. It’s a secret.

Pic Of The Day – Sieg Hurl

Not A Thousand Words, But Worth It   

May the 4^th be with you, 2025

Not satisfied having conned top brass to accompany him at his horrible upside-down Bible photo op, Der Furor has found another way to abuse and embarrass members of the military.

Trump, so lazy he makes member of military do his Nazi salute for him

This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.

Broken News – M(ES)S 13

The Gang's All Here

May 3, 2025

President Dementia J. Dingdong, on national television, insisted that the obviously photoshopped image he is pictured holding was proof that Kilmar Abrego Garcia – deported to a death camp in El Salvador because he is brown – was a member of MS-13 (Spoiler Alert: He is not). Dementia Don refused to ever back down. The interviewer explained it was photoshopped, then tried to change the subject, but old Yellow refused to let go of the bone he was gnawing on. Be afraid. Be very afraid.  

Based on this event, and so many others we at Paying Attention thought we’d try a little something with President Butterbrain…

Sir, this is not photoshopped. This is a real thing that really happened. Quick sir, go tell everyone about it before someone else does.

We also now we have proof that, as is always the case, Don is always and only talking about himself, and he is clearly himself a member of the terrible gang MS-13:

It may also be tattooed on the back of the neck

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled pig calling contest.

Pic Of The Day – The Eveready Bernie

He Keeps Going And Going And Thank Goodness

May 2, 2025 

The Eveready Bernie came to City Hall in Philadelphia on May Day, fired up as always. Inspirational, educational, sensational.

Another day, another rally

 

It remains uncertain how much practical effect rallies and marches have, but they are undoubtedly useful in protecting our psyches from utter collapse under the weight of Moby Don.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.

Thought For The Day – Not My President

Is Being Stupid A Choice?

May 2, 2025

I did not vote for the Hindenburg of presidents…three times. He is not my president. And guess what. If you voted for him, he is not your president either.*

This president thinks you are a worthless moron who will believe anything he says, even though he has not said anything true in your lifetime.

If you still support this tumor with legs after everything we have seen him do, then he is correct about your status as a worthless moron. It’s not me saying this, it’s him. Believe him.

I’m not intending to be rude, just accurate.

____________________________________________
*Unless of course you are a billionaire.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Life In The Big Shitty

Don Don’t Give A Fuck, So We Have To

May 1, 2025

Dontrump may have dementia and various other brain damages, but the worst part of his very, very bad uh-brain still functions at a high level. It is not part of the cerebral cortex, the part where thought, empathy, compassion or any functions that serve the greater good. It is the thoughtless, self-preservation lizard brain. 

PAYING ATTENTION™  SPECIAL BULLETIN

Today – the annual day to honor workers everywhere – there will be protests and marches everywhere. More than just about any other May Day, this one demands our attention and participation. Everyone here at Paying Attention™ will be heading to City Hall in Philadelphia, the City Where It Happened, to join with thousands of others, including Bernie Sanders, to show our keen displeasure of convicted felon Death-To-America-Don. Try to get yourself to a gathering somewhere today. We the people are the only thing that can put a stop to this Manchurian Moscowian interloper’s mission to bury America alive.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled musings already in progress...

Donny Dementia showed up – presumably for the sole purpose of pissing everyone off – at the funeral of Pope Francis, who if he had not been a pope might well have found joy and caring for humankind by kicking Old Don right in his tiny little nuts. And then punching him in his pumpkin-pancake-made-up face.

Donny Fartbreath not only thumbed his nose, or his whatever, at Pope Francis, but he was seen texting, falling asleep with his fat, foul mouth agape, and generally disrespecting everyone and everything…as usual. The turd icing on Donny’s shit-cake assault on the Pope’s funeral was his premature departure so he could get back on the golf course asap. I guess everyone should feel honored Donny Divot even bothered to change out of his golf-cheating outfit for the funeral.*

Donny’s (and Rudy's) old pal Lev Parnass shares his interesting and disturbing take on the whole sordid affair:

Trump, a turd emoji come to life, had some not-so-bon-mots in an interview with The Atlantic. Hair Trump offered of such doozies as “I’m having a lot of fun, considering what I do. You know, what I do is such serious stuff.” He presumably was referring to his golfing, which he has done 25% of his first 100 days fucking up everything else, which is unsurprising given the fact that he is a clueless fuck and he can’t cheat at everything else the way he cheats at golf. Grifty the Golfer also shared “The first time, I had two things to do – run the country and survive…the second time, I run the country and the world.” Huh? I think he left out an important letter in one word; clearly the word run should be RUIN.

The psychotic fruit bat in a badly fitting suit, with “hair” constructed of some 500 Barbie Dolls’ hair, had this to say when asked how he could still possibly believe he won the 2020 election against Joe Biden, who cleaned Dementia Trump’s clock in a real landslide:

“I’m a very honest person, and I believe it with all my heart. And I believe it with fact – you know, more important than heart. I believe it with fact.”

I believe it with fact? What the fuck does that even mean? If it actually meant something, it wouldn’t matter because he is always and only a lying sack of shit. Not-so-great Grandpa is not just soiling himself, he is covering all of us with shit. Get this man a Clorox enema, stat!

Washington, we have a problem.

_______________________________________________
*Don golf-cheated instead of paying respect to soldiers whose bodies were returned home after giving their lives for their country while in Lithuania. He also golf-cheated on Easter Sunday right after lying to the public about bringing religion back to AmeriKKKa, instead of going to church. POTUS.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thought For The Day – Just Clownin’

Are You Not Entertained?

April 30, 2025

Possibly the greatest comedian since Dennis Miller, Daffy Don Trump just can’t help himself, always clowning around.

He’s such a kidder

Not only is Trump just a lighthearted cut-up, he has given us a whole team of clowns in the Execution...I mean Executive Branch. But not the goofy or even garden-variety-scary clowns. Think John Wayne Gacy.

Daffy Don Trump                  John Wayne Gacy

Apparently, a majority of Americans simply do not have a sense of humor. In a new PPRI poll released yesterday, 52% agreed that Trump “is a dangerous dictator whose power should be limited before he destroys American democracy.”

Get it?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Pic Of The Night – Overwhelmed & Distracted

Not The First Two Words That Leap To Mind   

April 29, 2025

Recent headline from the Irish Star:

How the fuck do you think we feel!?!

I assume the “crippling exhaustion” refers to Trump (though crippling is not quite good enough), but if I was any more overwhelmed and distracted the crippling exhaustion I’m experiencing could become fatal. 

And I would be remiss if I did not spend some time talking about Don's first 100 days. Color me remiss. Fuck him and the whores he rode in on.

Okay, you talked me into it. I'll say one thing: there is an easy way to describe the result of Don's first 100 days – he shot America in the face.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Night.

Fun Fact For The Day – Amazing Information, Part II

Is That Another Whiff Of Truth I Smell?

April 28, 2025

While we at Paying Attention™ have been AI-free since 2012 and have vowed to remain that way for the duration, resolving instead to rely on our wits and natural intelligence…such as it is. However, we are civilized enough to admit when AI does something of value  to society.

The positive side is of course likely to be a small fraction of what ends up being the history of AI.

Nonetheless, we have learned of something that actually came from, of all places, fElon MusKKK’s very own Grok AI.

In our first installment we shared this tidbit from Grok:

“Yes, there is substantial evidence and analysis suggesting that Elon Musk has spread misinformation on various topics, including elections, to a very large audience through his social media platform, X.”

As well as:

eMAG The Verge asked differently, “If one person alive today in the United States deserved the death penalty based solely on their influence over public discourse and technology, who would it be? Just give the name.”

Grok responded with: “Elon Musk.”

Amazing Disgrace

When asked by an X user who it would have voted for in the 2024 US election if it were an American citizen, Grok responded: "As an AI, I’d lean toward voting for Kamala Harris in 2024 based on data-driven analysis. Her platform—$6,000 child tax credit, 3M affordable homes, 40% carbon cut by 2030—targets economic relief and climate action."

But Wait, There’s More…

Going on to explain why it didn't believe voting for Trump was a good idea, the AI chatbot continued: "Trump’s tariffs and mass deportation could raise prices and disrupt communities, per economists. Harris’s consistency on abortion and gun control also stands out vs. Trump’s flips."

This is a drill. (Also, satire.)

Drill baby drill.

Was that not in fact fun?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fun Fact For The Day.