EXTREMELY Broken News – Holy Trinity Batman

Great Googly Moogly

God Comes Out

July 21, 2025

In a stunning announcement sure to cause some serious agita in certain circles, God has turned everything upside-down. Speaking exclusively to Paying Attention™ – don’t ask us how this happened because you wouldn’t believe it, but no bushes were burned, no tablets handed down – just some straight talk (well, maybe “straight” is not the best adjective here, as you’ll see shortly). Anyway, the creator(s) of all things spake thus:

People of Earth (and everywhere else for that fucking matter) it is time you learn the truth. We are sick of those among you continually referring to us as “He” or “Him” or even those with a bit more imagination and smarts using “She” or “Her”. We hereby wish to make it known, and in no uncertain terms that this must stop. Yea and verily, our pronouns are “We”, “Us”, “They”, “Them”. We think you get the picture. If you don’t, We’ll spell it out: We are not singular, and We’re surely not a guy. Seriously, what the fuck. We know this will come as a shock, especially to those among you who are such fucking snowflakes about anyone who doesn’t conform to your pathetic views of gender (or so much else that you fucknuts are fucking up so royally). And We do apologize since We were the ones who created pathetic, as well as all you fools who think you know what we are all about. And yes, We did create free will, but not for this bullshit. We figured you would improve over time, you know, like grow-the-fuck-up, and to be honest, We thought it would get much better much faster. So get with the fucking program. You don’t know shit. Don’t make Us come over there and smite your sorry asses.

Don’t let the beard fool you

They went on about “that fucker who thinks he’s God” who “clearly has severe mental and emotional defects” and “can barely create a coherent sentence, let alone a fucking universe. No way did We create that fucked up shit. At least not on purpose. We have no idea where the fuck that asshole came from.” God, clearly getting more upset just thinking about “the little shit whose name We dare not utter”, and adding “is possibly the worst and most nauseating dancer since T-Rex – not the very cool band from the early 1970s, but the tiny-brained dinosaur We created back in the day. By the way, for those of you too fucking stupid to understand reality, We did the whole dinosaur thing long before we blew that shit up and came up with the idea for humans, which is really starting to look like a huge fuck-up at this point. We really miss those big bird/lizard thingies; they were a cheery lot, cheery and violent…but totally awesome.” They claimed, “We’re strongly considering another game-ending event, but We might just wait a few more years and let you all take care of it yourselves. You seem very determined, and We’re feeling a bit lazy at the moment.”

Lastly, and this was quite mind-blowing, They addressed the creation of Adam and Steve…I mean Eve

So, as the story goes, We created Adam and then took one of his fucking ribs and made Eve. Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up. With all the powers vested in Us, why wouldn’t We just take another lump of clay or whatthefuckever and make another body from scratch? Think about this: if We took Adam’s rib and made Eve and then said ‘be fruitful and multiply’, doesn’t that by definition mean that We told Adam to go fuck himself? Talk about incest.

And that’s when we asked to be excused from the conversation.

Obviously, we were a bit taken aback. But not as much by the announcement itself or even that whole Adam and Eve thing. Makes no sense whatsoever. Why wouldn’t either 1) Eve have been created first and her have her rib taken to make Adam, or 2) to have any consistency in the story, have men be the bearers of children? That’s all very interesting but what really caught us off guard was the salty language They used so effortlessly during our time together.

Much less surprising was how much time, and how much vitriol was devoted to the Orange MAGAt and his “ungodly bunch of half-witted, Us-hating, losers trying to re-make Our perfectly acceptable world in their graven, craven, and soon-to-be-fatal image. We mean, seriously, what the fuck.”

World Party – And God Said…

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled atheism. 

P(r)ic(k) Of The Day – Paging Al Jolson

Start Your Day With A… BOING!

July 20, 2025

According to reports, Damaged Don insists on doing his own face painting. When he is not cheating at golf or agonizing over the horrors of reduced water pressure interfering with the shampooing of his self-proclaimed luxurious “hair”, he is spending his time as president caking on some sort of color-coat to hide his ghost-like countenance. Which apparently these days consists of him dipping the front half of his face in a vat of shoe polish, or something. Either way it is always best to avert one’s eyes when confronted with the risk of gazing upon the horrific blob atop the larger blob that is Don’s torpid torso.

Trump after a fun game of Bobbing For Blackface*

Any way you look at it, he’d be better off with a sturdy paper bag. I could have said plastic, but I didn’t. I never would.

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*Also, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

This has been your Paying Attention™ P(r)ic(k) Of The Day.

Ya Gotta Love It

July 18, 2025

Two things occurred to me after this morning’s post hit the internets.

It could well be that all the angry MAGAts want to see Epstein’s client list because they expect to see a bunch of Democrats and Hollywood elites splattered all over Epstein’s Pedophile Island client list.

They are so hell-bent on this idea that seem unable to process the fact that Trump was besties with Epstein for 15 years in no small part due their mutual attraction for women “on the younger side”.

The other possibility is that due to the kinds of people that are on the client list, other forces are at work to keep that list from ever seeing the light of day.

Ya gotta love it. Or else.

A Line In The Scammed

Yep, Effin Jester

July 18, 2025

I have to say I am a bit surprised. It seems that some MAGAts have more scruples than their Lard and Master. They draw the line at pedophilia (though it could be the hope that it’s all about the Jews). There is no line Trump won’t cross.

Either that or they just can’t let go of the conspiracy theory Trump, et al have been peddling for the past several years, the one where he constantly croaked about the Deep State hiding the Epstein Files. Mirror please!

BFFs Trump and… Yep, Effin’ Jester

Speaking of the Epstein Files…

“Fear is the tool of a tyrant.”*
Maurene Comey, recently fired federal prosecutor

You might recognize the surname of the prosecutor that Trump suddenly had fired for no reason, no legitimate reason that is. Comey had a stellar record including the prosecutions of someone named Jeffrey Epstein and a woman named Ghislaine Maxwell (Epstein’s literal partner in crime who managed to live long enough to be convicted, and now serving a 20-year sentence for her work with Epstein). This Epstein fellow died in prison during a three-minute gap in the doctored prison video that Trump’s justice department told us was raw footage.

“Donald Trump is a tool and a tyrant.”
Ed Venture, Managing Editor, Paying Attention™

Nothing Happens For A (Good) Reason

In other blatantly coincidental news, the current Emmy-nominated, and top-rated-in-its-time-slot Late Show With Stephen Colbert is scheduled for the trash heap in May 2026. This obviously coincidental announcement came two days after Colbert’s monologue included some poignant and cutting remarks about his parent company Paramount paying off Trump to the tune of $16 million (to avoid a lawsuit Paramount would win easily) because they need Il Douche to okay Paramount’s merger bid with the right wing Skydance.

All you really need to know about the proposed merger is that Trump recently praised Skydance Media CEO David Ellison as “great” and said that “he’ll do a great job” as head of the merged Skydance-Paramount Global.

As we all know, Donny knows “the best people” and he is the world’s greatest judge of character.

“I’ve known Jeff [Epstein] for 15 years. Terrific guy. He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.”
                                           Donald Trump, 2002

Damaged Don also had an “I wish her well” (something he never said about the girls Epstein and Maxwell trafficked and Epstein raped) for Epstein's co-conspirator and co-defendant in sex trafficking of young girls Ghislaine Maxwell after being sentenced for 20 years. I dare you to name better people than this.

One More Thing

Sources report that The Daily Show could well be next on the chopping block once the merger goes forward. What a coincidence.

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*From Comey’s letter to colleagues after being summarily fired for bad reason.

I. Mangrey reporting.                                                  

                                                                                         

Man Of The Hour – John Lewis

An American Hero And Icon   

July 17, 2025

Five years ago today John Lewis drew his last breath. The final one in a decades-long succession of powerful, meaningful breaths. Of eloquent and profound words and consequential deeds. Arguably one of the greatest Americans in our storied, albeit sullied history. Who gave his life to and was the personification of “Good Trouble”.

Marches are planned all across the country to honor Lewis’ memory and continue the pressure against the racist, fascist Trump administration’s crusade to end democracy and decency in America.

Lewis famously joined Martin Luther King, Jr. in the Selma to Montgomery marches and was beaten nearly to death by Alabama State Troopers while marching across the Edmund Pettus bridge on March 7, 1965, which became known as Bloody Sunday.

The Edmund Pettus Bridge traverses the Alabama River in Selma, Alabama. It was built in 1940, and was and remains named after Edmund Pettus, a former Confederate brigadier general, U.S. senator, and state-level leader of the Alabama Ku Klux Klan. USA! USA! USA!

There have been calls to rename the bridge, including naming it after John Lewis. Lewis had voiced opposition to changing the name of the bridge before his death.

I. Mangrey remembering. It's time for some excellent trouble.

Pic Of The Day – Skeevin’ Miller

If It Walks Like A Nazi, And It Talks Like A Nazi*   

July 15, 2025

Despite valiant efforts by MusKKK, Stephen Miller will always be Trump’s top Nazi.** He's the guy in charge of bleaching America white.

Headline from our good friends over at Crooks & Liars…

I wish I had said that

BONUS TALKIE

Stephen Miller: Sucking the Blood Out of American Democracy

The Daily Show

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*But it’s not Elon MusKKK
**Though the competition remains fierce with MusKKK’s AI chatbot Grok claiming itself MechaHitler and now partnering with the Pentagon.

BONUS PIC OF THE DAY

This has been your Paying Attention™ Pic Of The Day.

Schmuck Of The Day – The Fuh King*

America Goes Up In Schmuck

July 14, 2025

It is becoming increasingly difficult to find anything good, or even just imagine something good as the Fuh King works to dis-mental America with levels of stupidity, incompetence and fascist fucknuttery like nobody has ever seen before.

Is That Schadenfreude I Smell?

The previous paragraph was written a week or so ago. Sometimes I store bits or pieces or whole posts – like a squirrel, though not in my cheeks – to use at a later date. But, since then there has been a whiff of something sweeter in the air. Sickeningly sweet, but sweet nonetheless. Who would have thought that a dead pedophile could become so “popular”?

The MAGA cult is currently tearing itself to pieces over the non-existent Epstein files that very recently were spending quality time on psychophant AG Pam Blondi’s desk. Now they have either vanished, never existed, and/or were the work of evil Democrats bound and determined to destroy St. Donald of the Double-cross. I hope they figure this shit out in time to get crushed in the mid-terms.

Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled word-fest.

Despite Fey King Don’s self-professed “very, very large uh-brain”, his delusional insistence that he “has the best words” and is a “very stable genius”, the Moron of Mor-a-Lago is objectively the dumbest, most deranged and most neurologically impaired creature to ever sully the Oval Office.

So stupid and un-self-aware is Donny Dumpsterfire, that he has repeatedly related the story of the snake and the lady without a whiff of realization that in this story, originally one of Aesop’s fables, later put to song by Oscar Brown, Jr. (below) and others, Donny is the snake. The fact that he is a snake, and has been one his whole life seems to have escaped Donny’s keen sense of psychosis.

Oscar Brown, Jr. – The Snake

Somebody should hide Don’s fucking Adderall so maybe he’ll fall asleep for a few weeks. At this point, he just might want to sleep through this latest Epstein episode. I wish him hell. This whacko never sleeps, and clearly spends all his waking hours thinking of more ways to fuck everything all the way to hell.

All I can do is dig into some health food…

mental health food

It’s not like he does anything except cheat at golf, butcher the language and sign executive orders that are placed under his Sharpie. It’s not like he has a fucking clue what’s going on in his own administration:

Reporter: “Who ordered the pause [in aid to Ukraine] last week ?”

Dumb-ass Don: “I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”

Large, but not so much in charge apparently. Ignore-ance personified.

While ignorance is the order of the day in this administration, that’s not all they’re bringing to the table for America’s last meal before its execution. In this second Trump administration case the stench of dishonesty, incompetence and sociopathy is bordering on fatal. Certainly for Ukraine (and by extension Europe?), and likely for this country.

We Are Just Following Executive Orders

Executive orders are not law. They can be removed and reversed at the stroke of a new pen (even a robo-pen). This places them below presidential pardons in seriousness, since pardons are forever. Laws are the law because Congress said so. Then the Supreme Court decides to undo the law at the whim of five (or up to nine) lifetime – often political – appointees. In this case, there are six valiantly trying to enshrine fascism as the replacement for our constitutional republic. Executive orders are just the guy (maybe a woman in 100 years) at the top doing whatever the fuck he wants. In this case, these orders are simply tantrums thrown by the man-baby in the White House.

Here’s a look at presidential executive orders in the first 100 days of several presidents:

Biden issued 42 in his first 100 days, (more than any president since Harry Truman)

Roosevelt had half as many executive orders as Grumpy and actually used them to move the nation forward by helping everyday people. FDR also signed a shitload of bills into law, as opposed to the current administration, which gives no shits about passing laws or obeying the laws we already have.

Fool me once, shame on you. (Try to) Fool me twice, go fuck yourself. Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité!

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*AKA the Fey King.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day.

Schmuck Of The Day – Who Da Boss?

Secretary Of Defensiveness

July 12, 2025

This one’s kind of a toss-up, but we’re going with the underling-in-charge this time. Our uncertainty will be obvious by the end here, so feel free to disagree, but either way we’re up to our eyeballs in stupidity, chaos and peril.

Pete Kegseth, the very defensive secretary, and by all accounts the least competent… When he’s not busy day drinking or primping for the cameras in his specially built make-up room in the Pentagon, he’s doing The Lard’s work yelling – like a late-night-drunk waiting for an “escort” two hours past closing time at his third dive bar of the evening – at reporters who dare mention facts in his pathetic presence, or lawmakers who dare question his inept and/or absurd actions, his unparalleled ignorance, his dangerous incompetence or his almost Trumpian ability to lie through his booze…I mean teeth.

By all appearances, Kegseth unilaterally cut off funding to Ukraine a week or so ago – without telling Dear Doddering Leader.

When Dumb Don was asked by a reporter why the funds were halted, he claimed ignorance:

Reporter: “Who ordered the pause [in military aid to Ukraine] last week?”

Dumb-ass Don: “I don’t know. Why don’t you tell me?”

I know I am, but what are you? Maybe you should be president. Large, but not so much in charge apparently. 

And then the demented follow-up, days later:

Different Reporter: “What does it say that such a big decision could be made inside your government without you knowing?”

Same Dumb-ass Don: “Uh, I would know. If a decision was made I will know. I’ll be the first to know, in fact most likely I give the order, but I haven’t done that yet.” (actual quote)

Uh, what the fuck? Somebody call those nice young men in their clean white coats to come and take him away, this guy’s brain is goo. Maybe he’s got hisself one o’ them thar brain worms, or maybe they’s a rabbit munching away in there. He’s like a boxer who’s been knocked out but his body hasn’t figured it out yet.

While ignorance is the order of the day in this administration, in this case the stench of dishonesty and incompetence is bordering on fatal. Certainly for Ukraine (and by extension Europe?), and likely for this country.

Fool me once, shame on you. (Try to) Fool me twice, go fuck yourself.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Schmuck Of The Day.  

Thought For The Day – WTFer

A Fucker Is Born Every Minute

July 11, 2025

It is considered bad form to make fun of the mentally disabled... unless of course the mentally disabled person in question has made a career out of making fun of everyone else, including disabled people. Oh, and has also cheated, lied, raped, incited a coup, and is well on the way to disabling, if not destroying, democracy right here in the good old U S of A, and currently has masked, armored, heavily armed forces terrorizing and occupying an American city – Los Angeles – where nothing is going on, for no reason other than instilling fear in the populace and local authorities.

U.S. battle-ready troops in Somalia… Oops, it’s Los Angeles

Even so, one might do well to stay above the fray and leave dumb enough alone. Not out of fear, though it seems that would be entirely justified given the ongoing and expanding terror campaign, but out of simple human decency.

We Would Never…

Being overly woke here at Paying Attention™, it would be completely out of character to make light of the fact that Damaged Don Trump is suffering from a rapidly accelerating mental decompensation. Or to not insist that it is unfair to put too much stock in his cognitive decline since his brain has been on the fritz for a very, very, long uh-time.

Mentally disabled doddering, “dancing” dipshit (or so it's been said)

We would never laugh hysterically at someone who routinely stammers, mispronounces, demonstrates a Homer Simpson-esque level of ignorance, and walks like a penguin with its shoelaces tied together. Laughing at a poor, demented, sniveling sad sack-of-shit like that would be rude and unprofessional.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.