Wednesday, December 10, 2025

Broken News – Seize The Day...I Mean The Oil

Shenanigans On The High Seize

December 10, 2025

Der Furor has ordered, or had someone order, or was eventually told that someone ordered some as yet unknown branch of the military to seize an oil tanker off the coast of Venezuela – who now sits atop the largest oil reserves in the world.

It was reported that it was a Coast Guard operation, though one military expert reported that boarding team looked to him like Navy Seals.

We also have not heard whether this was just a run-of-the-mill unprovoked act of war, or whether are meant to believe that the oil tanker was actually filled with fentanyl, or cocaine or both, like a giant fucking drug pinata.

It remains to be seen if any witnesses to this incursion will suffer the same fate as so-called “double-tap” elimination of the unfortunate crew (after all, it is entirely possible that if there were any drugs on their tiny boat, they were blackmailed into being drug mules) that Pete Kegseth blew up. The completely unqualified and unhinged defense secretary claims to be still reviewing the video of his war crime before deciding whether or not allow the American public – his bosses – to see the footage. Given how slow of brain the ex-Fux News flunky has shown to be, this could take a while.

Happy to help out, but he really should grow his own

And then this happened…

Reporter: What happens to the oil on that ship?
Trump: Well, we keep in I guess.

Let's all guess. Stay tuned as more facts – real or alternative – become available.
 

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled fear and loathing.

Thought For The Day – On Donald Trump

Washington, They Say, Couldn't Tell A Lie, Trump, We Know, Can’t Not Tell A Lie

December 10, 2025

I say, let lying dogs sleep.


This has been your Paying Attention™ Thought For The Day.

Tuesday, December 9, 2025

Question For The Day – That Blowed Up Not So Good

A person with a mustache and glasses standing in front of a lot of question marks

Description automatically generated

What Blows Up Must Come Down

December 9, 2025

The United States has the most powerful, expensive military in the history killing for power and glory. And oil. We – and I use the term loosely, and with a tremendous sense of shame – have the most state-of-the-art, most lethal weaponry known to man. Our latest hobby is pretending that very small fishing boats are threatening our country with vast quantities of weapons of mass destruction…I mean drugs. Quantities which, by the way, if they even existed – in the complete absence of evidence – could be only a tiny fraction of the more than 400 tons of cocaine brought into this country by Juan Orlando Hernández, former president of Honduras, sentenced to 45 years in prison, and sprung by a Trump pardon after serving less than a single year, and hoped many of us would OD on his drugs.

Today’s Question For The Day:

How can anything larger than a single Lego piece remain of a tiny fishing boat after spending quality time with one of our big-ass missiles?

Bonus Question:

Seriously, how?

This has been your Paying Attention™ Question For The Day.

Monday, December 8, 2025

On This Day In 1980

December 8, 2025


John Lennon Memorial – Strawberry Fields, Central Park, NYC

December 8, 1980, another date that will live in infamy. The day legendary musician, songwriter and activist John Lennon was gunned down in front of the The Dakota apartment building in Manhattan. Further proof that, as Mike Love wrote in the Beach Boys’ Student Demonstration Time, “The pen is mightier than the sword, but no match for a gun.”


John Lennon statue – Havana, Cuba

Watching The Wheels 

Nobody Told Me 



Gimme Some Truth

Also, today would have been Jim Morrison’s 82st birthday.


People Are Strange 


An American Prayer

One more for the road…

Power To The People*

______________________________________________
*Can we please have some right now before it's too late?

Saturday, December 6, 2025

Broken News – Give Fake Peace A Chance

A person in a suit standing in front of a sign

AI-generated content may be incorrect.

The Name That Launched A Thousand Shits   

December 6, 2025

Hopefully you are not reading this and have not heard about this anywhere else.

Donald Fucking Trump has received the first ever, completely fake, very stupid and historically pathetic FIFA (Fucking Ignorant Fucked Assholes) Peace Prize. Created out of thin air and ass kissing especially for woefully fragile, toxically narcissistic, treacherous cretin Donald Trump, who around the same time had his name affixed to the façade of the United States Institute of Peace. The building itself (below) has been empty since Trump’s fellow sociopath fElon Musk fired everyone who worked there earlier this year, with no plan to repopulate it or use it for any peace-promoting purpose. So, like everything else associated with the Trump name, just a lot of stale air, empty promises and flat out lies.


Well, at least he hasn’t had it bulldozed…yet.

That’s right, the same guy who is in charge of blowing up tiny fishing boats (and those aboard who somehow managed to survive the multi-million-dollar projectile that smithereened their vessel by hanging on to the tattered remains in the middle of the ocean) allegedly carrying enough fentanyl – oops, it was never actually fentanyl that wasn’t really on these fishing boats – he means cocaine (you know the stuff that the guy he just pardoned disbursed 500 tons of in the United States, with the hope of killing some number of us*) – to last about 12 hours, if it ever had even the slightest chance of making it to our shores, if it ever actually existed. Oh, and every fucking day that guy threatens to start a land war on Venezuela.

Naturally, Trump is desperately trying to associate his violent, hate-filled, racist, fascist name with ‘peace’. Could he be any more psychotic than this? Why yes, yes he can. And he will. He is only just getting started.

Again, we hope you did not read this and ruin your otherwise mind-numbingly-torturous day in Donald Fucking Trump’s alternate reality.

Fiends In High Places

Meanwhile, the Supremely Psychotic Six continue their crusade to erase the United States Constitution, democracy and the United States. Their latest act being complicit with their lard and master Trump’s previously illegal, not the new normal, wanton gerrymandering of Texas to sabotage any attempt by Democrats to win congressional elections in that state.

__________________________________________________
*When asked if he “could explain more about why [he] would pardon a notorious drug trafficker”, the commander-in-dementia responded, “Well, I don’t know who you’re talking about. Which one?” Which begs the question: Just how many notorious drug traffickers has he pardoned that we don’t even know about?
 

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled heebie jeebies.

Friday, December 5, 2025

We Need To Learn A King Or Two

The More Things Strange, The More They StayThe Same

December 5, 2025

According to historian Alan Taylor, the Declaration of Independence, though we tend to think about it as a document espousing freedom for “oppressed” people, subjects living under authoritarian rule, which of course it is, is more than anything a “list of crimes allegedly committed by the king”.

Taylor states, “That means that when the patriot leaders decide that they want independence, then they must persuade their people in the colonies – now states – that the king has forfeited his just authority. The purpose of the Declaration of Independence is to declare that the king is no longer sovereign.”

Prior to the emergence of the Declaration, the patriots tended to blame the Parliament and not King George for their plight. The Declaration instead placed the blame squarely on the king. It denounced him as being unfit to rule over a free people.


King George III

A non-exhaustive list from the original text:

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices…

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people…

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world

For imposing Taxes [stupid fucking tarrifs] on us without our Consent

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us…

Can you say holy fucking shit?

Wannabe King Don I

The above list of grievances could not be more familiar. They say history doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme. This list from yesteryear, 250 years yester, compared to the list we could make today, is like rhyming shit with shit. Not great as regards poetic creativity, but pretty fucking on the nose when it comes to what history is doing right now compared to 1775.

A person sitting in a throne

AI-generated content may be incorrect.
The Fuh King: Empty is the head that wants to wear the crown

No time for rhyme.

    Just complete repeat.

King George III did not replace every single official in the American colonies with demented, dimwitted dipshits who destroyed all functioning of the colonies, used public funds for their own asinine amusements and kissed the king's ass every fucking day. Wannabe King Don I – who plans on serving an unconstitutional third term – makes George III look like fucking George Washington – who refused to serve a third term as president because he was not king, a tyrant or an out-of-control dementia patient with delusions of grandeur and an IQ equal to the number of natural teeth remaining in his mouth.

And King George III didn’t slap his stupid fucking name on anything that stayed still long enough.

I. Mangrey reporting. No way to delay that trouble coming every day.

Thursday, December 4, 2025

Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*

 

Dr. Dementia Does It Again

December 4, 2025

Fresh off a brilliant performance garnering yet another Paying Attention™ Quote Of The Day, from the head of the Department of Dementia

Reporter: The New York Times reported that you had a phone call with Maduro

Demented Fucking Asshole Trump: I don’t want to comment on it. The answer is yes.

_________________________________________
*As always, the full context does not make it any better. Also, good chance this feature will be popping up constantly for at least the next three years (unless he suddenly drops dead, which would be a darn shame...or something). Sorry.

This has been another painful edition of Don Trump Actually Fucking Said This™*
Remember, it will get worse before it gets much worse.

Wednesday, December 3, 2025

Quote Of The Day – From The Day Room

 

A person in a suit and tie holding up his hands

AI-generated content may be incorrect.

Putrid Priorities   

December 3, 2025

“I also like very competent people coming into our country – maître d’s, wine, ya know, experts*, um, even waiters, high quality waiters. You gotta get the best people. ”
Super Genius Donald J. Trffffppmt, November 2025

A person in a white shirt and red tie

AI-generated content may be incorrect. 

The above is an actual, real, not-fake, non-AI quote directly in response to a question about who the Remains of the White House resident dementia patient and leader of the not-really-that-free world would be willing to allow into the country, now that he is banning so many nationalities – though not white South Africans – from entering the United States.

A random white South African

I know what you’re thinking: Wow, what a dumb-ass I am. I would have singled out scientists, doctors, nurses, teachers, losers like that. I would never have thought to prioritize maître d’s or wine, ya know, experts and high quality waiters. I should be ashamed of myself. And that my friend, is why you, and you alone, are not the president of the United States. I know that’s hard to hear, but it had to be said.

That being said, I have to admit that I would have said chimney sweeps, high quality bank tellers, and 43-man Squamish players.

____________________________________________
*Someone tell this classless yutz they’re called sommeliers. And be sure to tell him it’s not because they’re from Sommelia.

This has been your Paying Attention™ Fucking Dumb Fuck Quote Of The Day.

Tuesday, December 2, 2025

EXTREMELY Broken News – Just Say No To Drunks

A news sign with a person in a suit

AI-generated content may be incorrect.

Murder* On The High Seas

December 2, 2025

“Pete Hegseth is a fucking douche.”
South Park, November 26, 2025


This is objectively true

Secretary of Defecation Defense Johnny Walker Red…I mean Pete Hegseth is in hot toddy…I mean hot water over what two whistleblowers with direct knowledge (something Hegseth only has about alcoholism and raging stupidity) of the operation – a double bombing of a small fishing boat in the Caribbean which may or may not have been carrying illegal drugs of some kind – have made public. No one will ever know if there were any drugs aboard, because TrumpCo obliterated this and a dozen or so other similar vessels without any evidence, approval of Congress, or reason beyond desperately trying to distract Americans from the EPSTEIN FILES. Oh, and let's not forget the racism, fascism and total lack of humanity of the creature in charge.

The psychotic, toxically testosteroned ex Fux News weekend back-bencher and current dry drunk/rageaholic is reported to have given a spoken directive ordering members of the Navy to “kill everyone” with a second strike on an already struck small boat. The U.S. military is supposed to rescue any survivors of military operations and attempt to keep them alive. Of course that was before the fascist Trump regime ended all manner of legal and moral standards (such as they were) previously in effect.

Beside the moral directive to minimize death, even of adversaries, it makes strategic sense to keep them alive for the sake of extracting intelligence. Unfortunately, Hegseth, like every other Trump appointee is a mortal enemy of intelligence in all its forms.


Pete “Kill Everyone” Hegseth yelling at military brass

If true, Hegseth’s orders to “kill everyone”, one imagines in order to eliminate any witnesses who could testify to the complete absence of any illicit drugs aboard the small fishing boat, which like all the others blasted out of the water by TrumpCo, could never have enough fuel to reach our shores, let alone carry enough cargo to make it worthwhile, would constitute war crimes.

This alleged war crime of course would trigger a vigorous and thorough investigation, a trial and possible prison time. Just kidding, what this would trigger if true, is a full and unconditional pardon from the criminal-in-chief, and rapidly deteriorating mound of flesh Donald Trump.

More Best People

Trump is so opposed to illegal drugs entering this country that he is poised to pardon former president of Honduras Juan Orlando Hernández, who moved hundreds of tons of cocaine into the U.S. and once bragged that he “would stuff the drugs up the gringo's noses” – his version of Hegseth's “kill everyone” one imagines. This lovely gentleman, who likely promised Trump oodles of blood money, was sentenced to 45 years in prison on drug trafficking and weapons charges. What, no sex trafficking of minors? Oh well, nobody's perfect. I guess it’s good to see old, old Donny boy broadening his horizons even as the Grim Reaper is breathing down his rotting neck.**

____________________________________________
*And very likely
, if Trump continues to insist he is at war with Venezuela, war crimes.
**We must grab hope where we can find it.

This has been a Paying Attention™ Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled nausea.