Around the World and into your face
March 16,
2013
Well, there was
white smoke at The Vatican, but all we’ve got in Washington, D(ou)C(he) is a
White Schmuck, by the name of Paul Ryan. The 2012 losing VP candidate has
unleashed his “new” “budget” proposal on an incredibly underwhelmed public.
Though it’s not completely white - he did manage to string together a few
words, but of course there are no numbers - there’s plenty of smoke and more
than a modicum of mirrors in Ryan’s “latest” façade of a budget. It's just a
repackaged version of the budget the dress-and-lipstickless version of Sarah
Palin waved around during the catastrophic Romney/Ryan campaign to ru(i)n
America. America despised his budget last fall and they will continue to loathe
it now. The Great White Poop continues to channel the right wing's most beloved
psychopath Ayn Rand's hatred of everyone making less than $250K a year, and
combined her inimitable charm with the unwavering resoluteness of persona non
grata George W. Bush. Can you say MISSION ACCOMPLISHED?
At least
Ryan is consistent. He persists in holding to his vicious principals (except
when he denounced his biggest political influence, Ayn Rand, during the 2012
campaign), the centerpiece of which is, of course, repealing Obamacare despite
the fact that a large majority of the American people just thumbed their
collective nose at his Randian rubbish, preferring a foreign-born, America-hating,
not-entirely-white, secret Muslim to the Tea Party Darling and his anti-47%
running mate. Our dashing young dipshit also seems to have missed the news that
the ultra-conservative Supreme Court pronounced Obamacare legal.
Ryan also
continues his crusade to kill Medicare and Medicaid, and I quote “...because
we’re not going to give up on destroying the health care system for the
American people.” Most people assume this was merely a Freudian slip, but as we
saw with this man who clearly pays more attention to his body than his brain,
and his human-etch-a-sketch running mate, they don't like most Americans and
they certainly don't like the government helping those making under $250K/yr. The
feeling is mutual.
"Ayn Rand wouldn't kick me out of bed."
I'm sure
Ryan feels right at home with the Republican'ts in the House of "Representatives"
who just unanimously voted down any increase in the minimum wage. Republican'ts,
who only remain a majority in the House because of very creative and extraordinarily
cynical redistricting, insist that allowing workers to afford food, clothing and shelter all at the same time would
increase unemployment when what they're really angry about is that unemployment
is steadily declining under our re-elected Kenyan/Muslim/Marxist/socialist
president. Hey Boehner, is that a gun barrel in your mouth or are you just glad
to see me?
"If I don't get a drink soon, I'm gonna gavel myself to death."
In related white
smoke - or at least white - news,
Antonin Scalia has taken the other eight Supreme Court justices hostage
claiming that the new Pope was not properly elected. In a crayon-written note
thrown at an anxious S.W.A.T. team stationed outside the Court, Scalia charged,
“Once you give a small unelected group the unchallenged power to elect their
chosen one to a very prestigious office it’s very hard to change the rules.
Just like allowing nig black people to vote without any restrictions, as
a form of racial entitlement, your country, or church or what-have-you is
doomed. We cannot allow this pro-working-class archbishop, though in his
defense he is virulently anti-gay, to take over the Vatican. Especially since
there is a perfectly viable Pope emeritus still lurking nearby." Scalia told
the press that he will not release his colleagues until he, and he alone, is given
the power to name the next Pope or until Clarence Thomas says something
intelligent during oral arguments. "Hey I was the guy who named our 43rd
president and he did a heck of a job. I'm the guy who understands the Founding
Fathers' original intent and it so happens that I also know who Jesus' original
intent. All I want is to appoint one damn Pope. And then I can go back to
beating down the poor, the blacks, the gays, women and everyone making under
$250K a year."
In even more
news of the criminally dim and repugnant, Jeb Bush, apparently determined to
out flip-flop Willard Romney as he kicks off his 2016 presidential campaign,
“My guess is that history will be kind to my brother, the further out you get
from this and the more people compare his tenure to what’s going on now. I
think history will be kind to George W. Bush.” * The younger Bush continued, "I'm
proud to be the son and brother of presidents of the United States. Not many
people can say that, and probably nobody would admit it under the current
circumstances, but what the hey, at least none of us is my brother Neil or my
other brother Marvin, both of whom are felons more or less. In any event, my
name is Jeb Washington and I approve this message." **
Which one is the drunk and which one is just Bush being Bush?
Stay tuned
to this channel for further news of the hapless, helpless, hopeless and
horrifying.
*actual quote
**actual
fake quote
I. Mangrey reporting.
Thanks for
listening. Reprehensible comment invited.
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