Whitewashington,
DC
June 29, 2013
From the same corporate whores justices who brought
you Citizens United Gone Wild, we now have the Voting Whites Act. On June 25,
2013 the 1965 Voting Rights Act was lynched by a bunch of white guys in robes.
Of course this time the hoods are gone and the robes are black, but make no
mistake, it’s still murder in the worst degree. Across America there was
profuse sweating, hand-wringing and running to and fro as this momentous
decision loomed on the horizon like the tornado over Dorothy’s Kansas. They
said it couldn’t be done. They said it wouldn’t be done. They said it shouldn’t
be done. Certainly on this last score they were right. On the other two
however…no so much. We're not in Kansas anymore; we're not in Oz either - more
like South Carolina in The Fifties…or last week.
Five white men (yes, I’m including Anti-affirmative-Action Figure Clarence “Harpo” Thomas) blithely
threw aside decades, if not over a century of progress in providing equal
rights to all American citizens no matter their religion, color or in recent moments,
their sexual orientation. Yes, even if they be Clarence
“I-Swear-It’s-Only-A-Very-Deep-Tan” Thomas. Five scared and hateful men...well, four actually - and the swing voter.
Nobody Could Have
Anticipated…
A gaggle of southern states immediately, even before
Clarence Thomas could ever so delicately pull Antonin Scalia’s zipper back to
its fully upright and locked position, broke out the champagne and ready-made
voter suppression laws, having waited for this moment with baited hoods and
single-digit IQs for as long as anyone cares to remember. Since before their
great grandfathers married their sisters - some traditions are hard to let go
of.
According to an anonymous source, Scalia was overheard
saying, “I think these n&%$$*#s have been unoppressed for long enough. They
had their day in the sun. We let them vote and look where that got us. Now
there’s one of them in the White House - it’s called the White house for a reason goddammit. My momma didn’t raise no fool.
In fact my momma won’t even admit I’m her son…what the hell is that about. The bitch. Anyway I can’t
wait to announce this decision. It will finally bring some justice around here.
I say if we're going to let those people vote we should only count their vote
as 3/5. After all I am an originalist.”
Scalia considers equal voting rights as racial entitlements. Chief Justice John Roberts has been whining about this dangerous assault on racial
inequality since his younger days working for Reagan’s justice department.
Bless their pointy little heads.
Mississippi, Alabama, Texas, Arkansas, Virginia, South
Carolina and North Carolina are all set to suppress non-Republican’t voters.
These states were more ready than a sprinter in the blocks awaiting the starter’s
pistol. At least the Supremes didn’t go after women’s rights this time around,
they’re letting states like Mississippi, Alabama, Texas, North Carolina and Ohio
destroy that for now. Hurray for states’ rights. Without it we risk liberty and
justice for all anywhere within our national borders. I look forward to
fighting that fight again.
We Can't Have Liberty
And Justice For All…At The Same Time
I guess these Supremacist Court judges decided that it would
be a good time to ratchet up the racial oppression again since they were
reducing the legal interference to gay marriage. Either that or Kennedy is
hiding something…in his closet. Or maybe they thought no one would notice the
damage they did if they also did something nice. Actually, four of the same
miscreants who voted against continuing to protect the voting rights of
minorities also voted against the Defense of Morons Marriage Act (DOMA),
with the fifth one - Kennedy - being the “swing vote.” Hey Clarence, remember when it wasn't okay
for a black man to marry a white woman? Or as you refer to them, the good old days.
The Court also shot down California's Prop 8, which banned
same-sex marriage in the state. It seems John Roberts only voted in favor of
stopping California’s Prop 8 to impress his gay cousin in California. In actuality
they didn't rule on Prop 8, all the Supremacists did was hand it back to the
appeals court instead of actually ruling on the case. If only they had been so
deferential handling in Bush v. Gore. Scalia called the argument against DOMA “legalistic
Argle-Bargle" adding, "We have no power under the Constitution to invalidate
this democratically adopted legislation." This from the man who did just that with the heavily bipartisan Voting
Rights Act only a day earlier. Scalia and Thomas should have to share a single
vote from now on.
Outside the Court of Last Resort the usual suspects weighed
in. Mike Huckabee told America, or at least the five or six that watch his show,
that "Jesus wept" over the DOMA decision. Yes the young Jewish man
who spent most of his time with twelve other like-minded guys and the
occasional hooker wept because gay marriage is legitimate in a country that
didn't exist in his lifetime. If anything, they were likely tears of joy. Michelle
Bachman let loose with, "Marriage was created by the hand of God. No man,
not even a Supreme Court, can undo what a holy God has instituted…What the
Court has done will undermine the best interest of children and the best
interests of the United States." I assume she wasn’t talking about voting
rights. Or her gay husband, not that there's anything wrong with that. Anti-liberty-libertarian
and up-and-coming Republican't Bull Goose Loony Rand Paul added his two cents, "I
think this is a conundrum…If we have no laws on this, people take it to one
extension further. Does it have to be humans?" Now he has no cents left.
And yes Senator Paul, it does have to be humans, but in the end that's a matter
for you to make peace between you and your Dog. Remember, Leona Helmsley left
her entire fortune to her dog, Trouble. What would people have said if she had
tried to leave her estate to a same-sex human
partner?
These biblical blowhards say it’s against God’s will for
people of the same sex to make love with each other. I wonder if God would mind
if these people would just go fuck themselves.
I. Mangrey
reporting.
Thanks for listening. Responsible voter suppression coming
soon to a state near you.
