Poor Excuse For A War

Don't Let The War Hit You On The Way Out

The Poor Side Of Town

January 12, 2014

This week saw the fiftieth anniversary of President Lyndon Johnson's first State of The Union address, during which he declared an “unconditional war on poverty in America.” Some of you might be thinking, heck, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea. At least it’s a nice sentiment. Put me down as FOR it. And what do you know? It had its share of success and programs begun under the banner of The War on Poverty continue to provide critical assistance to Americans in need. And yes, somehow after fifty years poverty stubbornly continues to menace countless among us. Federal policies that actually helped level the playing field continue their uphill battle. Twenty-four years after Johnson's declaration, President Ronald Reagan decided he had a better idea. Reagan declared war on The War on Poverty lobbing this brilliant salvo, “Friends, some years ago the federal government declared war on poverty, and poverty won.” 

This year Senator Marco Rubio (T-FL) used this fiftieth anniversary of one of America’s prouder moments to first vote against extending unemployment benefits, and then claim he has a better way to fight poverty. The most amazing thing was his ability to get through the entire diatribe without lunging for a drink of water. Not to be outdone the Republican’t chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee proposed stopping unemployment benefits altogether. There are many more examples of such brave and moral pronouncements from our legislators, many of whom were blissfully complicit while George W. Bush pillaged the national treasury and handed anything that wasn't nailed down to the very wealthiest among us, playing no small part in the Great Recession from which we are just now emerging over half a decade later…maybe. Today’s Republican’ts remain resolute as ever in fighting the War on The War on Poverty. Go Poverty!

Get a job ya little moocher.

Republican’ts of course oppose Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, a minimum wage, child labor laws, welfare, food stamps, public education, school lunches, civil rights, abortion rights, voting rights - anything that might help those unable to overcome circumstances beyond their control. They will fight any attempt to provide government assistance to anyone not already advantaged. They can only abide government handouts to large banks and corporations and will fight for what they believe to the death…of the poor. Oh, and 50% of Congress are millionaires. And the richest of them all is Darryl Issa (R-YFKM), chairman of the House Oversight Committee. Filthy. Rich. Issa has busied himself with creating phony scandals to investigate, none of them having anything to do with moving the country forward in any way. He surely puts the con in congress. Paul Ryan, who owes his success in part to government "handouts," says giving such help to anyone else has created a "poverty trap." Why does Ryan hate himself?

There is one thing that can be used to level the economic playing field, actually any playing field, that Republican’ts favor with every bone in their bodies, including those in their cold dead hands. And that, my fellow Americans, is GUNS. Yes, if you can’t get a decent paying job, can’t afford food for your family, if your unemployment was cut off by wealthy congressmen, get a gun. Not only can't they stop you, most of the people who are keeping you from having jobs, money and food actually want you to have a gun. You can just shoot your way to happiness and prosperity and simply claim self-defense. This is Second Amendment territory. Start your well regulated militia today. Even if it's a militia of one. Stand your ground. It's time to declare war on the War On the War On Poverty. But don't fire until you see the whites of their skin or the green of their backs.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Don't actually shoot anyone.