Romney-o, Romney-o, Who Both Art Thou Romney-o?

The Mitt Personality of Splitt Romney

United We Divide

May 19, 2012

Democrats, led by Barack Obama during this presidential election year, are clearly trying to divide America.  Just ask anyone at Fux News.  All the Democrats running for office are determined to divide Americans by emphasizing the difference between the adamantly ignorant and the (at least relatively) fact-based camps.

Obama and his Democrats are relentless in their efforts to distract Americans from the big issues like the ability to shoot anyone you find threatening (or just overly dark), keeping IQ scores down and birth certificates.  Yes birth certificates.  This is why Arizona Secretary of State Ken Bennett is threatening to keep the current president of the United States off the Arizona ballot in November.  Everybody knows it’s standard procedure to vet duly-elected black presidents before allowing them to run for office.  Damned, stubborn Democrats refuse to acknowledge that facts are no better than made-up-shit. 

Meanwhile Splitt Romney, an avowed Moron (sometimes he inserts another ‘m’ in the middle; probably just a typo) is fighting with everything he’s got to reconcile his disparate camps.  Some examples will show the difficulty of the task before him. 

In 1994 Romney supported allowing gays and lesbians “to serve openly and honestly in our nation’s military.”  Willard continued, “Clinton’s don’t ask/don’t tell policy on gays in the military is a fine first step but must ultimately lead to gays and lesbians being able to serve openly and honestly in our nation’s military.”  In 2006 Romney said he supported the Republican president whose name he now will not mention, and his decision to keep DADT in effect instead of extending normal civil rights to gays and lesbians.

In a 2008 New York Times op-ed, titled “Let Detroit Go Bankrupt,” Willard claimed: “If General Motors, Ford and Chrysler get the bailout that their chief executives asked for yesterday, you can kiss the American automotive industry goodbye. It won’t go overnight, but its demise will be virtually guaranteed.”  Now he says, "I pushed the idea of a managed bankruptcy, and finally when that was done, and help was given, the companies got back on their feet.  So, I'll take a lot of credit for the fact that this industry has come back."

There are countless other examples of Romney’s interminable inability to agree with himself on a wide range of issues.  At least in that he is consistent.  How can he possibly bring together these two absolutely irreconcilable perspectives?  So far his strategy is just to ignore the inconvenient one as necessary.  This is working well so far as most Americans tend to approach issues the same way.  There’s no doubt that Splitt Romney will continue his efforts at reconciliation.  Remember, this is the same country that allowed George W. Bush to occupy the White House for eight years.

Maybe Romney should strap both parties to the roof of his car and take them for a long, long ride to a secret undisclosed location.

Tune in next time when Romney takes both sides on the issue of flip-flopping on the issues and picks his two running mates.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible comment (and no comment) invited.