Morons Of Mass Destruction

A Fabulous, Undeniably Crucial, Kindly Undertaken Peace Mission
I Hope They Stay Until The Job Is Done

Egypt, Egypt

September 14, 2013 

Members of Congress often travel to foreign countries to increase their profile, to be seen as movers and shakers. It's not uncommon for them to rush to the scene of newsworthy events, sometimes because they have an interest in the outcome, but more often because it makes them look and feel important. Sometimes the president will send one or more Senators or Congressmen in his stead to show America cares, or for fact-finding purposes. More often than not they just go because they want to or because they can, or occasionally to play golf or to cheat on their wives.

For example, it might be good to have Rep. Keith Ellison visit the Middle East since he is not Caucasian and he is a Muslim. Maybe he has a certain level of understanding of their culture that others might be missing. Or maybe John McCain, who still thinks he's the real president, will just take it upon himself to buddy up with "freedom fighters" in Libya or opposition leaders in Syria to show he da man. Then he can return home and tell the nation he knows what-up and that we'd better start a war in whatever country he just visited or else the United States is doomed. That's just the way he rolls. McCain never met a war he wouldn't start.

Just the other day a trio of Congressthings showed up in Egypt to hold a press conference. To call this ménage-a-twits Three Stooges would be insulting to stooges everywhere, especially the three we know and love. This tiresome threesome, from the land that brains forgot, spoke to what could only be perceived as an empty room, for fifteen minutes. All three clearly have IQs in the triple digits, it's just that there's a decimal point before those digits. You may not be familiar with all three, but they are well known and respected in the circles within which they move. And they do move in circles, like lobotomized hamsters unable to stop running on the wheel until their little hearts explode.

King, Bachmann, Gohmert

 

Michele Bachmann (R-MN), Steve King (R-IA) and Louie Gohmert (R-UF'ing Kidding Me) assured the Egyptian people military that they would lend their inestimable support to the blossoming dictatorship. Speak-no-real, See-no-real and Hear-no-real stated their certainty that this military takeover will lead to the type of democracy envisioned by Thomas Paine and Thomas Jefferson, and presumably by Thomas' English Muffins, all of whom (with the exception of the muffins) were quoted by Gohmert. He also compared the man now running Egypt, Gen. Abdel Fattah al-Sisi, to George Washington. During his time at the microphone Steve King babbled incoherently, as is his wont, and flashed a copy of the Constitution that he carries "in his pocket every day he wears a jacket" to the unseen and apparently stunned-into-absolute-silence Egyptian audience. What is in the tea these people are drinking?

King, Bachmann, Gohmert in the eyes of most Americans 

Michele Bachmann opened up the festivities, sporting her best deer-in-the-headlights look. The girl genius (IQ: .003) opened with, “My name is Michele Bachmann; I’m a member of the United States Congress from the United States of America.” Bachmann added, "We see the threat that the Muslim Brotherhood has posed around the world. We stand against this great evil, we are not for them. We remember who caused Nine-one-one in America. We know who killed three thousand brave Americans. We have not forgotten." Interesting. I remember when she thought it was Iraq, even though everyone with a whole-number IQ knew it was Saudis…and calls it Nine-eleven. Bachmann personally guaranteed her support for the Egyptian military as long as she serves in the United States Congress in the United States of America. An interesting choice of words since she has announced her immanent retirement, presumably to spend more time with her attorneys. Bachmann currently labors under a nimbus cloud of investigations and a tsunami of stupid.

King, Bachmann, Gohmert, sans make-up 

After all three had finished scaring the hell out of everyone in the Middle East and most of the Americans in the United States of America, Bachmann asked for questions from the "audience" and then responded to the continued silence by asking and answering "one question that has come forward again." I’m sure these three balloon animals airheads came across to the Egyptian people like the teacher in the Peanuts TV specials. I wish they sounded that way to me, but I can still make out the words.

The Definition of Insanity

Things don't get a heck of a lot better when you get the whole House of Representatives of the United States in the United States of America together. Two hundred and thirty Republican't members of Congress voted to repeal Obamacare this week. This is the forty-first time these yahoos have voted to kill Obamacare. Forty-one times. Failing each time. If at first you don't succeed try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try again. And expect a different result.

You just can't make this stuff up folks.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Making this stuff up invited.