Jon, Dick and I

It Didn’t Have To End Like This

August 6, 2015

Dear Jon:

How could you? I’ve been loyal, faithful, obsessed and often life-savingly amused lo these many years. I invited you into my home, onto my computers, and recently my phone. And now you’re just up and leaving? I know you warned me it was coming. And suddenly I was supposed to take you seriously? And now it’s really happening. I can’t believe you weren’t lying to me. Have you no sense of decency, sir?

The face that lanced a thousand shits

I haven’t felt like this since Al Franken left Air America radio. At least Al became a senator. Now, just like so many you have ridiculed all these years, you would have me believe that you want to spend more time with your family? Do they even know about this? Is this really in their best interest? It seems very selfish of you to care for yourself when so many have come to depend on you for so much for so long. Where the hell am I supposed to get my newsmusement from now? Fux News? Trevor Noah? I’m keeping my fingers crossed on that one. I am on the rebound after all. But as Rick Perry told us during his 2016 presidential run announcement, “There is nothing wrong in America today that a change in leadership can’t make happen.” So I do have some hope.

I understand we all must learn to deal with loss in our own way. Right now I am very close to emerging from the fetal position. Of course now that you will no longer be bringing me all the news that gives me fits, my life could take a serious (okay, not likely serious, but unpredictable) turn. Anything could happen. I might just begin stalking you. What else is left for me at this point? Lucky for you I’m very lazy and don’t like to leave my house. I will say that you have been one of our great inspirations here at Paying Attention. Maybe that will buy you some time and sympathy.

Jon and The Fetid Bush

I will try not to un-love you for leaving us alone with The Chrump. At least you saw me through all the fetid Bush years, and that was no easy task. And you did it beautifully. Zie Gezunt.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Now here it is, your moment of Zen…

 

And now for something completely different...

 

Holiday Greetings From Everyone at Paying Attention

One Less Dick Never Hurt Anyone 

O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
August 7, 2015

Hello loyal readers, I. Mangrey doesn't work on weekdays so once again it's up to me, the managing editor here at Paying Attention, to keep the Resignation Day(s) tradition alive this year. As most of you are probably unaware, today is Erev Resignation Day(s) (or Resignation Day(s) Eve, depending on how you roll). On the evening of August 8, 1974, crook, felon, anti-Semite, Liberal-hating, secret-bomber, paranoiac, all-around uncommitted mental patient and then-president Richard M. Nixon, resigned after serving half of his second term in the People's House in order to avoid a term in the Big House. If this was Sarah Palin’s inspiration for serving only one half of one term as governor of Alaska, then we at least owe him for that…or at least Alaska does. Today Nixon the Liberal-hater would be seen as much too liberal for today's Tea-stained Republican't freak show. The more things change, the more they stay the strange. Anyway, Resignation Day is one of my favorite American holidays. A great day for democracy and as close as we get to a great day for justice in this country. I snagged a photo of I. Mangrey sporting one of his prized t-shirts to commemorate this festive time of year. He and it are a bit wrinkled, but I think you'll get the message.

I. Mangrey in his Resignation Day(s) finery

"I have never been a quitter," began Nixon during prime time on August 8, 1974, "To leave office before my term is completed is opposed to every instinct in my body…Therefore, I shall resign the Presidency effective at noon tomorrow. Vice President Ford will be sworn in as President at that hour in this office." Gerald Ford, Nixon’s hand-picked pardoner/successor took the oaf of office on August 9, 1974 capping off America’s only two-day national holiday. I still remember it well, to the best of my recollection.

And so I offer you this special phrase, to kids from one to ninety-two; and though it's been said, many times, many ways - Happy Resignation Day, Happy Resignation Day, Happy Resignation Dayyyy to you.

Wishing you and yours all the best during this brief, fun-filled yet trenchant 41th anniversary of finally-not-having-Dick-Nixon-to-kick-around-anymore holiday season,

Ed Venture

In 2006 I stumbled across a bit of this very old, well-know verse that I thought would be fun to share with everyone at this special time of year.  It’s an age-old seasonal ditty and this being the eve of my favorite American holiday and all.  I’m not sure I remembered all of the words correctly but I’ve rendered them to the best of my recollection, and I may have been overzealous and inadvertently added a few verses that didn’t exist at all.  But, it’s full of holiday magic and joy – a favorite of children and adults throughout the ages so read it to your children and grandchildren to keep the tradition alive.  Now without further ado, in honor of August 8-9, 1974, a moment in history, which our Founders would surely have savoured, I bring you…

Twas the night before Resignation

Twas the night before Resignation, when all through the house
Richard Nixon was cornered, like a trapped diseased mouse.
His burglars had screwed it tho they burgled with care,
His cover-up in ruins, soon the end would be there.

The Congress were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of impeachment danced in their heads.
Sam Irvin with his gavel, exposed all the crap,
And roused our democracy from a long winter’s nap.

So all o’er the land there arose such a clatter,
Even the public could see what was the matter.
And there it was every day on TV like a flash,
Then everyone knew the president was trash.

It was hard to imagine this crook being regal
Tho he said, “If the president does it then it is not illegal.”
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But his lies all exposed and the end of his career.

A great day for democracy, it happened so quick,
What could be worse than that horrid old Dick.
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And all those were sentenced and each one by name!

"Now Haldeman! now, Erlichman! now, Mitchell and Dean!
On, Colson! On, Liddy!, oh my what a scene!
They all came a tumbling from the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!"

‘Tis the eve of impeachment –Oh please just once more
So much fun to be had, who knows what’s in store,
This appointed dry-drunk liar with his head up his butt.
Must be ripped from the Peoples’ House and his prison door shut.

Yes we did it one time not so long ago
Said it couldn’t be done, well how could we know.
Who knows what can happen when clear thinking rules,
Maybe we can get rid of this new batch of fools.

A long train of abuses and usurpations once again stains us all,
By Constitution, our right and our duty - this Despot must fall.
Again let’s take back our nation from thieves,
Then lock them away and dispose of the keys.

It’s that time of the season, to excise George the king,
The land of the free and that sort of thing.
And I say to you all, Power To The People, Out Of Sight,
More Impeachment to all, and to all a good-night!

Thanks Ed. That was a treat as always. I hope you don’t mind if I add a verse or two for this year’s holiday season…

Once more it’s that season, and Obama’s still here
Watching those who’d replace him lurch into gear.
They’re angry and senseless, they screech and they bite

No need for good reason, they just like to fight.

Now Christie! Cruz, Kasich! Paul, Bush, Carson, Trump!
On, Rubio! On Walker! On, Huckabee! A great bunch of chumps!
They all come a tumbling from the zany clown car!
Now dash away! Dash away! Please dash away far!

So let’s watch in amusement, as they trip o’er their tongues

As they sputter and spew and expel from their lungs,

All the hot air and spittle, all the BS and blight,
For the chance to meet Clinton or Sanders for the big fight!

 

“The Dick is out but we’re still getting f*&%$d”  sg, August 9, 1974