No idea where I am at this point
May 3, 2016
May 3, 2016
Donald Chrump is making the pivot from pathetic punchline to
presumptive candidate punchline by acting “so presidential”. As he told the
very serious Sean Hannity two months ago, “At the right
time, I will be so presidential that you’ll call me and you’ll say, ‘Donald,
you have to stop that.’” I had hoped to get off this topic by
now. Evidently it is not yet possible. Bullets can’t stop it, rockets can’t
stop it…we may have to use nuclear force. He has made it insanely clear that he would. Chrump seems blissfully
unaware of the qualitative difference between nukes and conventional weapons
and is more than ready to use all of them should the wind dare to muss up the
crazy-glued mass atop his head. He also thinks black lives couldn’t matter
less, immigrants are nothing but numbers on a spread sheet and women are losers.
The Donald has insulted every single group with the
exception of the KKK and other white supremacists. He re-tweets their trash. They
fund and make robo-calls for his campaign. They endorse him time and again. The
most recent endorsement comes from Virginia’s Imperial Wizard of the Rebel
Brigade Knights of the Ku Klux Klan who for some reason prefers not to share
his Christian name preferring the simple appellation Grand Wizard. After
telling his black interviewer that the Klan does not hate anyone the Grand Wiz added,
"The reason a lot of Klan members like Donald Trump is because a lot of
what he believes in, we believe in. We want our country to be safe.” And white.
These Are The
Champions My Friend
In fairness, not all of Chrump’s supporters are racists. He
is fond of winners and tough guys. For example he has the endorsement of
college basketball legend and renowned hothead Bobby Knight who in 1988 described
the stress of his (ridiculously high-paying) coaching job thusly, “I think that
if rape is inevitable, just relax and enjoy it. I mean that’s just an old term
that you’re gonna use…I’m not talking about the act of rape, don’t misinterpret
me there.” Maybe it would be harder to misinterpret if you didn’t use the word rape.
Chrump was also endorsed by tough guy, champion and serial
rapist Mike Tyson. Chrump defended Tyson during the 1992 trial, insisting Mike
was innocent. Chrump said the woman in question hadn’t been raped because
nobody respects women more than Chrump. Two pigs in a pod. Confronted with this
less-than-stellar endorsement Chrump admitted that Tyson may have made some
mistakes, but responded to criticism of the endorsement leveled by Cruz’s new
imaginary running mate Carly Fiorina with, “What does she want me to do, tell
him I don’t want his endorsement? Should I do that? You think I should do that?
I don’t think so.” Racist, rapist, who cares. Asked and answered. At least he
consulted himself first.
The Punishment Brothers:
Cruel & Unusual
So Presidential It
Hurts
The almost-completely-worthless mass media wet their
collective pants because Chrump called the man he has dubbed “Lyin’ Ted Cruz” Senator Cruz one time. Oh my, they cooed,
see how presidential he is now becoming. He told us he could do it and by gum
he really can. That fleeting non-classless moment was just that - a moment. He
cannot fake civility for very long. Chrump thinks being presidential is nothing
more than speaking in hushed, boring tones and looking solemn. George W. Bush
meets Sarah Palin meets cream sickle with “hair”.
Chrump’s latest display of just how qualified he is to be a
reality show celebrity and most-definitely-not-president came the other night
as a guest fair and balanced Bill O’Reilly’s. Bill-O asked the presumptive
Republican’t nominee what his plan for Afghanistan would be. Chrump, who had
just one day earlier given what he peddled as the best foreign policy speech
ever, spewed his usual bunch of drivel, sprinkled with repeated empty phrases. The
most revealing moment had His Royal Jackass saying of Afghanistan, “That’s one place, frankly, instead of going
to Iraq, we should have probably gone there first.” Did he forget about 7/11…I
mean 9/11 already? Was he so busy watching thousands of mythical Muslims
dancing in the American streets that he missed Bush’s first response? He must
have been too busy to notice since he told us he has “the best memory”. Add
this to his love of torture and his yammering on about how Japan, South Korea
and Saudi Arabia should all have nuclear weapons. He’s like the Oprah of
destruction. You get some nukes, and you get some nukes…everybody gets some
nukes once I am in charge. But don’t worry, "Right now, we have hundreds of deals being negotiated all over the
world by my company, and I deal with presidents, and I deal with prime
ministers. I deal with everybody. I probably have more experience than
virtually anybody looking at this office. And I make money. I've made a lot of
money doing it." You know
what they say, tiny hands, tiny…brain.
Presidential Oratory
Tune in next time
when Chrump whines, “I wish I could have
Sarah Palin as my running mate. She’s got a great body for a vice president.
The best. If I wasn’t married and didn’t have such a hard-on for my daughter –
not an actual one…well maybe – I’d probably be dating her. Problem is she’s a
loser, she lost running with loser John McCain. A guy who first gets captured by
the losers in North Vietnam and then he loses to Barack Hussein Obama. A
yuuuuuge bunch of losers. You don’t see me losing. I’m a winner. A winner.
Believe me. All I do is win, win, win. Once I am president I will win so much
you will hate my guts for winning so much instead of hating my guts for being
such an asshole.”
I. Mangrey
reporting. Get him the hell out of here.
Mad in USA
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