Republican'ts: Equal Opportunity Insulters

Is That A Dark Horse 2016 Republican't Presidential Ticket I Smell?

The Land Previously Occupied By Absolutely No White People

April 21, 2013

Not that it's anything new, unless you're Rand Paul, who recently made a splash trying to educate a room full of black college students about the history of black people in America, but Republican'ts just can't seem to hide their true nature when their mouths are open. For his part, Paul tried to ignore Republican'ts' rich history of racial prejudice towards blacks by insisting that the Republican'ts were still the party of Lincoln and emancipation, and always have been. Paul apparently missed several decades that began with the Sixties and blamed the Democrats for all the racial problems this country has had, though his audience seemed less than impressed with Paul's, shall we say, creative rendition of American history. To be fair, Rand Paul probably doesn't believe that Native Americans or dinosaurs ever existed, and probably thinks the Second Amendment protects guns from people.

What Would You Expect From The Party That Hates The Earth

The Republican'ts are desperately trying to run from their anti-minority position, which with any luck, will relegate them to perpetual also-rans as America becomes less white and less intolerant. It's not that they realize they have to like or even accept non-white Americans, it's that they recognize they only need to con just a small percentage of them into voting Republican't in order to stand a chance of ever getting back into the White House. Let's see how that's going so far.

Rand Paul's pathetic attempt to con his black audience into going Republican't came little over a week after Rep. Don Young (R-AR) said, “My father had a ranch; we used to hire fifty to sixty wetbacks to pick tomatoes.” That apparently was the just the opening salvo in what is likely to be a donnybrook of the latest chapter of Stupid Things White Republican'ts Say.

This Just In From Klansas

Recently, Saline County, Kansas county commissioner, Jim Gile argued that his county should hire an architect to design repairs to local bridges instead of "nigger-rigging it." His first attempt to repair his own infrastructure was to change the offending phrase to "Afro-Americanized." Another white colleague of Gile's insisted "there is not a racist bone in his body." The tongue of course is not a bone. Gile said, "I had it (jury-rigged) on my brain and this came out. It was a bad choice of words. I'm sorry." Gile later added, "I am not a prejudiced person. I have built Habitat homes for colored people." Apparently Gile, who will likely get a slot at the 2016 Republican national convention, is indeed a good person, so we'll have to cut him some black slack.

At Least He Didn't Mention The Horns

Oklahoma State Rep. Dennis Johnson (R), co-majority leader of the state House of Representatives and a small business owner, was arguing in favor of legislation to repeal Oklahoma's 70-year-old law prohibiting retailers from selling goods for less than 6 percent above cost. Johnson favored the repeal because some customers "might try to Jew me down on a price." Johnson quickly realized his mistake once he was signaled by someone off camera that what he said was offensive. He recovered with great speed and aplomb saying, "I apologize to the Jews. They're good small businessmen as well." There are no Jewish members of the Oklahoma legislature…what a surprise.

I'm sure things will even out now that Republican'ts can go back to slamming Mormons again.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible epithets invited.