Here, there and everywhere, USA
April 13,
2013
What Type
Of Assault Weapon Would Jesus Use?
One good
thing about the current debate on gun regulation, it’s nice to see all the crazed
Second fund-Amendment-alists frantically scurrying around in a desperate
attempt to protect their precious, fabled gun rights. They just can’t let go of
their insane fetish with and interpretation of the second half of the Second
Amendment, above which, for them there is no other. Let ‘em eat lead I say. It's
interesting because my interpretation of the "right of the people to keep
and bear arms" simply means that the government shall not, without proper
cause, remove the upper limbs of its people. As you can see, I too can happily ignore
all that militia nonsense that starts off the Second Amendment. And I assure
you I know exactly what was in the minds of our Founding Fathers…even if they
didn't.
The problem
is the Second fund-Amendment-alists are a very dangerous bunch to go up against
because so many of them are unhinged and all of them are armed, many of them –
to the teeth. And behind those teeth are some very unstable reptilian brains.
The Second fund-Amendment-alists are just beside themselves with angst over
imminent changes to some gun laws. These self-imagined uber-patriots are a lot
less likely to exercise their Second Amendment rights to protect the First
Amendment than they are to suppress those who use the First Amendment to
disagree with them. Take heart though, before long these knuckle-draggers will
be stocking up on the drones Obama is helping to proliferate here and abroad.
You're worried about North Korea taking out a major U.S. city? Maybe you should
focus on South Carolina.
Meanwhile
Congress is bending over barely to determine just exactly what is the least
they can do to decrease the number of gun massacres in America. We're supposed
to be very excited over the Grand Background Check Bargain they're using to
misdirect our attention away from the fact that they won't even talk about
banning assault weapons or military-sized magazines. Remember, the Congress is essentially
a Halfway House of Representatives for ex-lobyists or soon-to-be lobbyists, so
they must be very wary not to antagonize their previous employers, whom they
are in Congress to service, or their near-future employers for whom they are
finding ways to be of value when they leave "public service" for
loftier paychecks.
Stupid Is As Stupid Does
While we're
on the subject, the man whose face is in the dictionary next to the
word stupid – George W. Bush – is
having his “presidential” "library" open its doors to the public on
the ten-year anniversary of Bush’s MORON MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
declaration – approximately ten years before his illegal, miserably wrong, staggeringly
failed, stupid war in Iraq finally ground to its excruciating halt. I'm sure
each and every annual visitor to this "lie-brary" will be simply
enthralled by the collection of coloring books, The Very Hungry Caterpillar and
reams of massively redacted official documents filling the House That Bush
Built. And of course you will be able to see every copy ever printed of his recent
autobiography, "Delusion Decision Points."
George W. Bush greeting a roomful of blind well-wishers
Exxon Is As Exxon Does; There's No "U"
In Exxon
Finally, the
stupidest of all...the Fourth (and most powerful) Branch of Government, The Oil
Industry. There were 364 oil pipeline spills in 2012. Exxon, the perpetrator of
the latest oil debacle in Mayflower, Arkansas, was seen (despite their best
efforts to keep the public from knowing by banning the reporters, photographers
and curious citizens and acquiring a no-fly zone over the disaster area
courtesy of their Halfway House of Representatives) sopping up the toxic sludge
with paper towels. Paper towels. Because the most profitable company on the
face of the Earth can easily afford to take all necessary precautions and be
ready to respond to any problem at a moment’s notice. After all it’s just
common courtesy. Did I mention that in 2013, with a horrendous track record of discharging
gobs of oil all over the planet for decades, Exxon is using paper towels to sop
up the most toxic, dangerous form of petroleum we have ever seen? Paper towels.
Actual photo of Exxon's super high-tech clean-up in
Arkansas
In fact, Exxon, which pays almost
zero taxes while getting over ten billion dollars in tax subsidies and pulling
in record profits, is claiming that this isn't an oil spill. Thanks to the
Halfway House of Representatives they can call it a Bitumen event since tar
sands oil is so different from all the other kinds of petroleum substances. Tar
sands oil is so cool because unlike other petroleum substances it doesn't float
on water…it sinks. Isn't that special. Coming soon to a neighborhood near you,
since the rotting, ancient pipelines that carry this crap are just about everywhere. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FkoIS41v30
I. Mangrey reporting.
Thanks for listening. Responsible tax
subsidies (for me) invited.
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