Saturday, April 13, 2013

So Much Stupid, So Little Time

A Stupid Trifecta

Here, there and everywhere, USA
April 13, 2013 

What Type Of Assault Weapon Would Jesus Use?
One good thing about the current debate on gun regulation, it’s nice to see all the crazed Second fund-Amendment-alists frantically scurrying around in a desperate attempt to protect their precious, fabled gun rights. They just can’t let go of their insane fetish with and interpretation of the second half of the Second Amendment, above which, for them there is no other. Let ‘em eat lead I say. It's interesting because my interpretation of the "right of the people to keep and bear arms" simply means that the government shall not, without proper cause, remove the upper limbs of its people. As you can see, I too can happily ignore all that militia nonsense that starts off the Second Amendment. And I assure you I know exactly what was in the minds of our Founding Fathers…even if they didn't.
The problem is the Second fund-Amendment-alists are a very dangerous bunch to go up against because so many of them are unhinged and all of them are armed, many of them – to the teeth. And behind those teeth are some very unstable reptilian brains. The Second fund-Amendment-alists are just beside themselves with angst over imminent changes to some gun laws. These self-imagined uber-patriots are a lot less likely to exercise their Second Amendment rights to protect the First Amendment than they are to suppress those who use the First Amendment to disagree with them. Take heart though, before long these knuckle-draggers will be stocking up on the drones Obama is helping to proliferate here and abroad. You're worried about North Korea taking out a major U.S. city? Maybe you should focus on South Carolina.

Meanwhile Congress is bending over barely to determine just exactly what is the least they can do to decrease the number of gun massacres in America. We're supposed to be very excited over the Grand Background Check Bargain they're using to misdirect our attention away from the fact that they won't even talk about banning assault weapons or military-sized magazines. Remember, the Congress is essentially a Halfway House of Representatives for ex-lobyists or soon-to-be lobbyists, so they must be very wary not to antagonize their previous employers, whom they are in Congress to service, or their near-future employers for whom they are finding ways to be of value when they leave "public service" for loftier paychecks.
Stupid Is As Stupid Does 
While we're on the subject, the man whose face is in the dictionary next to the word stupid – George W. Bush – is having his “presidential” "library" open its doors to the public on the ten-year anniversary of Bush’s MORON MISSION ACCOMPLISHED declaration – approximately ten years before his illegal, miserably wrong, staggeringly failed, stupid war in Iraq finally ground to its excruciating halt. I'm sure each and every annual visitor to this "lie-brary" will be simply enthralled by the collection of coloring books, The Very Hungry Caterpillar and reams of massively redacted official documents filling the House That Bush Built. And of course you will be able to see every copy ever printed of his recent autobiography, "Delusion Decision Points."
George W. Bush greeting a roomful of blind well-wishers 

Exxon Is As Exxon Does; There's No "U" In Exxon
Finally, the stupidest of all...the Fourth (and most powerful) Branch of Government, The Oil Industry. There were 364 oil pipeline spills in 2012. Exxon, the perpetrator of the latest oil debacle in Mayflower, Arkansas, was seen (despite their best efforts to keep the public from knowing by banning the reporters, photographers and curious citizens and acquiring a no-fly zone over the disaster area courtesy of their Halfway House of Representatives) sopping up the toxic sludge with paper towels. Paper towels. Because the most profitable company on the face of the Earth can easily afford to take all necessary precautions and be ready to respond to any problem at a moment’s notice. After all it’s just common courtesy. Did I mention that in 2013, with a horrendous track record of discharging gobs of oil all over the planet for decades, Exxon is using paper towels to sop up the most toxic, dangerous form of petroleum we have ever seen? Paper towels.
Actual photo of Exxon's super high-tech clean-up in Arkansas 

In fact, Exxon, which pays almost zero taxes while getting over ten billion dollars in tax subsidies and pulling in record profits, is claiming that this isn't an oil spill. Thanks to the Halfway House of Representatives they can call it a Bitumen event since tar sands oil is so different from all the other kinds of petroleum substances. Tar sands oil is so cool because unlike other petroleum substances it doesn't float on water…it sinks. Isn't that special. Coming soon to a neighborhood near you, since the rotting, ancient pipelines that carry this crap are just about everywhere. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_FkoIS41v30

I. Mangrey reporting.
Thanks for listening. Responsible tax subsidies (for me) invited.

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