You Can't Fool Me, There Is No Sanity
Clause
Oh Little Town of Beelzebub
December 7, 2013
The second
longest war in American history, outpaced only slightly by the war in
Afghanistan, is the hallucinatory War on Christmas. Though the War on Christmas
is completely non-existent, the War on the imaginary War On Christmas is all
too real. The War on the War On Christmas is being fought for the hearts and
minds of sociopaths who insist that everyone must agree with them or else,
people who are absolutely apoplectic about the persecuted Christians whose very
existence is threatened by secularism, gays and people saying Happy Holidays.
Not to mention the renegade Pope.
Anti Christ Warriors For Christmas
Bill O’Reilly
breathes fire every Christmas in his attempts to bully everyone into joining
his imaginary confrontation. Rick “Please Don’t Google Me” Santorum resurfaced
after his humiliating defeat at the hands of Mitt “47%” Romney who was in turn
crushed by Barack Obama, with a movie whose protagonist is a candle. Santorum
Claus must think he's on a roll, so what does he do? He denigrates the memory
of the great Nelson Mandela before his body is even cold by comparing Mandela's
struggle against Apartheid with the misogynist Republican't fight against
affordable healthcare for all Americans. If you don't see the connection you
can breathe a sigh of relief.
Sarah Palin
is exuding stupid from every pore, especially the large one beneath her nose. When
asked if she could understand a non-Christian (like, I don't know Thomas
Jefferson or someone like that) being uncomfortable with government-sponsored
displays of a Christian nature, Sarah Claus replied "There are things that
we can do about that to I guess lessen that offense in our personal
lives." And what do the Palins do? They have a menorah sitting on their
kitchen table throughout the month of December. Huh? Proving that even while
acting well-intentioned – which I’m not necessarily buying – Sarah Palin is an
idiot. Now Jews everywhere are sterilizing their menorahs and trying to
exorcise images of the Palin family dancing around their menorah for a month.
Wisconsin
governor and Koch Brothers' lap dog, Scott “War On Citizens of Wisconsin”
Walker suggested that instead of buying enjoyable presents parents should
consider buying their children “a gift that will keep on giving. This year, we
are celebrating the Holiday Season with a Black Friday special that is better
than any deal found in stores. Donate $5, $10 or $25 to help Governor Walker
get reelected and save your children from a future of double-digit tax
increases and billion dollar budget deficits.” The sonofabitch didn’t even have
the common decency to call it the Christmas Season. Why does Scott Walker hate
all Christians? Walker failed to mention that these “holiday” donations would
also save children from a future of fair working conditions, a living wage, healthcare or
health, fair elections, avoiding state-sponsored sexual abuse of pregnant women, a viable planet
and other crappy stuff like that.
"You
cannot serve both God and money." Matthew 6:24
"You cannot serve both Rush and
Jesus." Mangrey 1:01
Meanwhile,
radio whore host and Oxycontin and Viagra aficionado Rash Lummox (nobody
carrying so much within his belt and so little within his skull can be called
Rush) called Pope Francis a Marxist for speaking out for the poor and
questioning the morality of capitalism. The Pope denounced trickle-down
economics as unfair to the poor and called unfettered capitalism a new tyranny.
He spoke out about the idolatry of money, extreme materialism and urged world
leaders to fight poverty and inequality.
You know who else railed against income
inequality and stood up for the least among us? That's right, Hitler…I mean
Jesus.
I. Mangrey reporting.
Thanks for christening. Happy Holidays invited.
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