Who's Your Daddy?

Baby Talk

Where Men Are Men

December 14, 2013

A recent report about testing done on newborns to determine the presence of rare genetic metabolic disorders, which if caught early and treated will usually save the child’s life, discussed the importance of timely test results. Delaying just a few days, and in some cases even a few hours, can make all the difference. It turns out that the test results are routinely delayed, putting millions of newborns at great risk. This is probably something you never heard about though you would think those who treasure every birth would be all over this issue. These Fetus Fighters who are just short of demanding the right to vote for embryos have for some reason not taken up this cause. Obviously this issue is less important to them than passing measures to keep women from using their private insurance to cover abortions, which has happened in 24 states so far. Apparently the funds are needed to cover penis-enlargement procedures.

 

Relentless sperm launch assault on unsuspecting ovum

So what is the next step for the anti-choice maroons minions? A growing number of states have passed laws that require doctors to ignore their own medical ethics by forcing pregnant women seeking abortions to have medically unnecessary, unconstitutional, involuntary and highly invasive ultrasound procedures and then urging them to look at the images. The "thinking" is that this will dissuade these Very Innocent Choice Taking Immature Moms from going through with abortions. The fetus-worshiping crowd even wants contraception to be outlawed, favoring the ever-failing practice of abstinence über alles. Just ask Sarah Palin and her daughter.

Video: EverySpermIsSacred

There’s only one thing left for the anti-choice crowd to do. Next they will be knocking on doors and forcing women to have unprotected sex with Paternalistic Recently Institutionalized Choice Killing Sperm-carriers. After the Religiously Assured Procreation Enforcement squad has watched you consummate their act, you will be assigned a Womb Watcher. This loving, medieval and clinically insane overseer (think Michelle Bachman) will be with you 24/7 to make sure you do not go astray in your compulsory duties. These pre-natal nannies will be there just in case you get the urge to sneak off to a state where federal law remains intact, a state that does not feel the need to invade your body with a metal probe, where women still have the right to decide what to do with their own bodies.

Welcome To Your Nightmare

Of course, once you are actually born these life lovers will make it their business to see to it that you don’t get a living wage for your work, that you will pay a large portion of whatever you do manage to eke out for crappy medical insurance, and that you can only love someone deemed gender-appropriate by people who want Big Government to stay out of your life. But at least you'll be able carry a gun when you’re out getting drunk at the local watering hole. And everyone knows that being forced to be born is the fast-track to mental stability.

And then, near the end, when there is little left of your health or life, these Caring Religious Extraneous Existence Pushers will magically reappear to insist that you do not have the right to die when and how you choose, that you be kept alive against your will, just as they insisted that you be brought into this world against the will of she-who-would-rather-not-have-borne-you. The only thing to do is for women to arm themselves and start a Stand Your Womb movement.

And They Better Hurry

On Thursday a 22-year-old South Dakota woman noticed her 23-month-old son playing with a loaded revolver and for some reason decided it was a bad idea. While attempting to take the weapon away from the little tyke she was shot. Fortunately the boy is white so no charges will be filed. The NRA insists the young lad was in the process of forming a well regulated militia…not that they really care. Reports that the child was texting George Zimmerman remain unsubstantiated.

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Responsible shooting invited.