Is That A Wad Of Cash In Your Pocket, Or Are You Just Glad I'm Running For Office?

Citizens (United) Gone Wild

Wa$$hington, DC

April 4, 2014

What a surprise. Five wealthy white men (yes I'm including Uncle Thomas) once again decided to call money "free speech." Chief Justice Roberts, author of the decision said, "Spending large sums of money in connection with elections does not give rise to quid pro quo corruption, nor does the possibility that an individual who spends large sums may garner influence over elected officials." Because that just never happens, except for almost always. This would all be so much easier to talk about with a profanity-laden screed, but I'll try to keep it clean. No promises though. 

Citizens United just wasn't enough. Who needs spending limits on electioneering? If you don't have enough money to fund and influence politicians, then stop being so poor. It's really just that simple. Now with the latest ruling in McCutcheon v. FEC, the $upreme Court has heroically protected the free speech of the less than 600 individuals who gave the maximum allowable amount in 2012, but want to give more. Why do they want to give more money to elect certain politicians? For democracy! Certainly not to put people who will do their bidding. Perish the thought. Thomas Paine can finally rest in peace. 

Uncle Thomas, the Harpo Marx of the Court, just couldn't hold back this time. He didn't think the decision went far enough. Old Clarence, usually as silent a deadly fart, let us know in no uncertain terms that he believes there should be no limits whatsoever on donations to politicians. He wants even more money buying of elections…you know, One Dollar, One Vote. America’s richest 1% controls 40% of the nation’s wealth; shouldn’t they logically control 40% of the nation’s political process? Or 90%? It's called logic people. It's all about free speech. Very expensive free speech. I'm sure you agree that $123,000 isn't enough for a civic-minded individual to inject into the political vein. And after all, freedom's just another word for nothing left to buy.

The so-called liberals on the court, three of whom (Ginsburg, Breyer and Sotomayor) happen to be the wealthiest members of this most elite of clubs, railed against the latest attempt to stamp out democracy once and for all. They foolishly based their dissenting opinion on something they call The Constitution. Nobody believes that thing anymore, hell, it was printed on hemp.

Apparently justice is not just blind; it’s also morally bankrupt and fatally ignorant. The First Amendment was not meant to be something you buy by the pound…or the dollar.

TO BE CONTINUED…

I. Mangrey reporting.

Thanks for listening. Shamefully huge contributions invited.