More Postum

November 7, 2012

From the editor:

Maybe Things Don't Go Better With Koch

Good morning campers.  This is your host Ed Venture.  I. Mangrey is taking a well-deserved and desperately needed (my words, not his) day off but he does have some breaking news, which I will get to shortly.

 



For my part, it’s simply shocking how wrong all the polls were.  The Republican’ts kept screaming that all the polls were skewed and not showing the true nature of the electorate.  They were apparently right.  They grossly overestimated W. Mitt’s numbers in almost every battleground state.  I guess those lazy, good-for-nothing 47%ers must have some friends in higher places.  In any event, by all counts Barack Obama will have another four years to attempt to work with a hateful and spiteful Congress, who have shown nothing but contempt for democracy and compromise.  I wish us all the best of luck.  But wait, there's more...

Let me now share this breaking piece filed early this morning by I. Mangrey, now recuperating in a quiet room somewhere, but insisting this be heard: I know most of you are relieved and comforted today.  Romney conceded  in honorable fashion early this morning.  He may yet have the last laugh though.  My sources inform me that W. Mitt Romney is planning to reverse course and claim victory some time later today.  "Conceding is just something you do on election night.  Today is a new day and Governor Romney has had time to sleep on his earlier position and get into some fresh underwear," said my source close to the Romney campaign, "The governor phoned a small group of us upon awaking and has called us together for a strategy session.  I think you can expect Mr. Romney to pull out the old Etch-a-Sketch and claim victory sometime around noon, Eastern Time today.  He is convinced that his ability to change position on any issue at any time is still a powerful political tool, as is the governor himself, and he intends to make the most of it.  I suppose we'll still have to wait and see just how many Americans will be willing to take this walk with us after the apparent defeat we suffered in the actual election yesterday.  But hey, we still have a ton of money to throw around so what could it hurt.  We fully expect the governor to take this bold and original step, after all his is a devout Mor(m)on and someone who means what he says...sometimes for the better part of an hour."  The source continued, "We are not going to allow the election results to be dictated by a bunch of fact checkers.  We are in this thing for the long-haul."

Although my colleague Mr. Mangrey seemed mildly incoherent as he shared this story with me, I cannot take this lightly, coming as it does from such a reliable reporter.  We'll just have to wait and see if this story actually does pan out, or if Romney is just talking more of the shit that was his entire campaign from its inception after all.

Ed Venture, editor Paying Attention