Third Stone From The Sun
July 31, 2013
Just in case
you haven't noticed, the planet is slowly drowning in tar sands leaking from
the Canadian wilds. That is, when it's not flowing through Arkansas neighborhoods.
Right now there’s an out-of-control tar sands “well” - or whatever the hell
they call those things - that's been oozing filth for over two months, and
there's at least one other leak whose cause remains unknown as does a plan to
make it stop, all of which the Canadian government has kept hidden as well as
any government hides its Earth-killing schemes. Oh, Canada. Please let us share
in the enjoyment of all this natural beauty with the Keystone XL poopline.
Sure it looks like oil, but don't worry it's not…it's
much worse
To
absolutely no one's surprise another oil well is eviscerating itself in the
Gulf of Mexico. This one's owner, Walter Oil & Gas Corp., says it is still
investigating the incident and won't know the cause of the blowout, or why the
well continues gushing oil into the Gulf, for quite a while. Take your time
boys, there's no real hurry. Good excuses and cover-ups don't grow on trees you
know.
In other
news of wanton Earth-wreckers and all-around scumbags, Halliburton - Dick
Cheney's alma mater - is pleading guilty to destroying evidence in
The-Worst-Environmental-Disaster-In-The-History-Of-The-World. Halliburton was
BP’s cement contractor on the drilling rig that exploded in the Gulf of Mexico
in 2010. The blowout triggered an explosion that killed 11 workers and spilled
millions of gallons of oil into the Gulf. But Halliburton is no stranger to
destroying things and killing Americans.
Halliburton: Destroying Your Planet Since
1919
Don't
forget, Halliburton also ripped us all off for hundreds of millions of dollars
during Cheney's war-to-enrich-Halliburton in Iraq, and killed a number of
American troops with the shoddy contracting work that is clearly the hallmark
of their existence. They are very
profitable though - to the tune of $39.5 billion just from the war Cheney gave
them. You may recall that between his stint as Secretary of Defense under
President George Bush I and his self-promotion to Vice President under George
II, Dick Cheney was CEO of Halliburton. Oh yeah, and Halliburton refused to
turn over records to the government pertaining to its (giving-us-the) business
in Iraq as well.
Is Our Representatives Learning?
Meanwhile, Congress
has taken time out of its busy schedule. Busy that is, voting for the 40th time to kill Obamacare, fending off any sort
of commonsense gun legislation and fighting against the evil minimum wage. America's
genius Republican’ts are proposing to go Cheney on the environment, shooting it
in the face by slashing the Environmental Protection Agency’s budget by 34% and
cutting funding for renewable energy by 72%. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I. Mangrey reporting.
Thanks for
listening. Responsible cosmos invited.
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