I Was Right All Along, Though I Was Totally Wrong. Who Am I?

Shoot In The Face First, Don’t Ask Questions Later

A not-secret-or-undisclosed-enough location
September 7, 2015

Unrepentant hostile psychopath Dick Cheney and his equally belligerent daughter Liz appeared on Fux News Sunday with Chris Wallace. Cheney was unsurprisingly trashing Barack Obama, this time over the deal with Iran. I could accept Cheney staying out of prison for war crimes if only he would just put a stop to his word crimes. The Charles Manson of modern day politics continues verbally assaulting us on political issues as he desperately tries to put the lipstick of history on the pig that is his legacy. Shouldn’t he be spending more time with his family by now? I mean in private, not carting his daughter around to talk shows. Shouldn’t he be called out as a liar, a failure, a ghoul?

Cheney, caught on camera just after learning of 9/11 attacks.

A guffaw or a yawn, you decide.

Wallace asked if Cheney was being fair comparing Obama’s deal with Iran to Neville Chamberlain’s appeasement of Hitler. Cheney’s answer? "Yes. If you look at what happened with respect to [Obama's] Iranian deal, the only winners are Iranians. The losers are the United States, are the friends and allies of the United States in the region, the Israelis the Saudis and others…I think it's a big deal, a major, major defeat -- in my mind -- in terms of our position in the region."

I had to punch myself - pinching just wasn’t enough, and I was secretly hoping it might cause amnesia - to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating. Simply replace ‘[Obama’s] Iranian deal’ with “the illegal war based on lies into which I led this country to pad my Halliburton profits,” and Cheney’s statement makes perfect sense. And why does Dick have to bring his little parrot girl with him everywhere he goes now? Is Liz the only thing standing between Cheney and someone else getting shot it the face? Does that make you feel safer?

Wallace pressed on, one assumes feeling safe in the knowledge that he was on live TV, "You and President Bush, the Bush-Cheney administration, dealt with Iran for eight years, and I think it was fair to say that there was never any real, serious military threat," Wallace noted. "Iran went from zero known centrifuges in operation to more than 5,000. So in fairness, didn't you leave -- the Bush-Cheney administration -- leave President Obama with a mess?" the Fox News host asked.

"I don't think of it that way," Cheney replied.

"But the centrifuges went from zero to 5,000," Wallace pressed.

"Well, they may have well have gone but that happened on Obama's watch, not on our watch," Cheney insisted, unfazed by the facts as always.

"No, no, no," Wallace fired back. "By 2009, they were at 5,000."

Cheney countered, “Well, I don’t know who was in office at that time, I’ll let history decide that, but regardless, this is all Obama’s fault. It couldn’t have been me; I was in a wheel chair at the time of his inauguration. Do you think I did that just for spite? Just because he’s was a ni…new kid on the black…I mean block? Have you ever seen me in a wheel chair before or since that day?”

Wallace, stunned, responded, “What does that have to do with the matter at hand sir?” This was followed by Cheney clearly reaching for something in his trousers, halted only by a stern look and what appeared to be a small electrical jolt, both delivered by his daughter. Cheney just “smiled” and withdrew his hand which reappeared palm up on the desk, as if to show it was empty.

Speaking of empty, Here's a little something from Barack Obama's home page over at whitehouse.gov:

 

Not wanting to interrupt Cheney’s reverie of nooclear combat toe-to-toe with the Ayatollahs, I hesitate to interject Cheney’s old Secretary of State, Colin Powell’s take on the Iran deal. I hesitate, but I do not stop. I do it anyway. Powell told MSNBC’s Chuck Todd, "I think it is a good deal. I studied very carefully the outline of the deal and what's in that deal. And I've also carefully looked at the opposition to the deal. And my judgment after balancing those two sets of information is that it's a pretty good deal…If they don't implement it, bail out. None of our options are gone." Cheney insists our only option is to get stinking drunk and shoot Iran in the face, claiming we mistook them for a crippled quail.

I. Mangrey reporting. Don't be a Cheney.