Almost in the fetal position
September 17, 2015
I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed the second Republican’t
debate because I know of no word or words to express an amount so staggeringly
insignificant. These poor little children can’t do anything without being in
the shadow of Ronnie Reagan’s mythical bosom, standing right in front of Reagan’s
Air Force One at the Reagan Library. Forget the fact that none of the
modern-day Republican’ts would give the actual Reagan the time of day because
by their standards, St. Ronnie would be nowhere near enough to the right of
Bernie Sanders. They would pound the real Reagan mercilessly for repeatedly
raising taxes, bloating the federal government, cuddling up to Iran, running
scared out of Lebanon and let’s not forget his heretical attack on Second
Amendment rights as governor of California. Though, to be fair, this was in
response to black men exercising those oh-so-special rights, and nobody knows
that better than today’s Republican’ts.September 17, 2015
Mike Huckabee, who continues to talk like a late-stage syphilitic,
reminded us that none of the racist-homophobes-who-despise-poor-people-and-social-programs
on the Reagan Library stage were socialists. Like you-know-who. As you know, a
socialist is someone who believes the nation’s wealth should be used to assure
life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all Americans, while Huckabee
believes the nation’s wealth should be used strictly to enrich the wealthiest
Americans while average citizens should be able to use their own bootstraps to
stay afloat. Socialists believe that people should all have equal rights with
no interference from any particular special interest group or religion while
Huckabee believes his religion trumps any law Reverend Mike doesn’t like.
Clearly he’s not a socialist…or an American.
These folks keep muttering about finding America again or
getting their country back. Where the hell do they think they’re living?
Latvia? Human Ambien prescription, Ben Carson thinks Obamacare is worse than
slavery. The Chrump says America sucks and he will make it great again by doing
great stuff. Ted Cruz wishes he was back in Cubanada or something. Carly
Fiorina thinks Planned Parenthood is Jeffrey Dahmer or Adolf Hitler or Hannibal
Lecter.
J.E.B. moaned that, “The next president of the United States
is gonna have to fix an extraordinarily difficult situation.” Does this guy
have the memory of a guppy? Has he ever met his older brother? Was he anywhere
near America in 2008 when Obama took office? Was J.E.B. in fact born yesterday?
The smart Bush added, “As it relates to my brother, there’s one thing I know
for sure – he kept us safe. I don't know if you remember (delusional applause), do you remember the rubble?” Yes, about that rubble. I don't suppose you recall how that rubble came to be in that particular place, and under your brother's feet at the moment you so selfishly invoke? Heckuva job Bushie. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The Chrump went after little Rand Paul before even taking a
breath. At one point The Classless One grumped, “I never attacked him or his
looks, and believe me, there’s plenty of subject matter right there.” Well, if
he hadn’t attacked Paul’s looks before (he did), he managed to do so while
bragging (lying) that he hadn’t. Chrump has the same relationship with the
truth as Dick Cheney. 
Proto/Future Trump?
It’s entirely possible that Chrump’s head originally escaped from the Star Trek set and the Trebbles are the science fiction version of a planet inhabited by the progeny of whatever is living on Chrump’s head. This is what a post-Chrump world will look like.
Tribbles are MUCH nicer than T-rump. And better, and smarter and more successful.
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