Bush Craters, Ben Dozes, Bill Kills

A Case of Cheap Campaign

Everywhere and Nowhere
October 3, 2015

Bush Happens: Don’t Forget To Wipe Your Feet

A mass shooting is defined as an incident involving the killing and/or wounding of four or more people. Over the first 274 days of 2015 there were 294 mass shootings in America. This is almost certainly a consequence of the obvious backwards evolution of the human species known as Global Harming or Global Primate Change.

I have hate to keep bringing this up, but J.E.B. The Smart Bush seems bound and determined to eclipse his big brother’s catastrophic battle with words. In response to the daily mass shooting, this time in Oregon, J.E.B. made the mistake of opening his talking hole after Obama reminded everyone that mass shootings were a bad thing and maybe we should do something about it. J.E.B.’s response? “Look, stuff happens. There’s always a crisis. And the impulse is always to do something and it’s not always the right thing to do.” Yeah like opening your mouth. It must be difficult to speak with all those feet in there.

Did I just hear almost everyone say, “9/11 anyone?” J.E.B., I bet that if some of that stuff happened to just one member of your family, you would turn right around and invade (insert name of random country here). And then just to be on the safe side you would cut taxes on the wealthiest Americans. Stuff happens? That’s exactly what then-Secretary of Death and Destruction Donald Rumsfeld said about the chaotic immediate aftermath of his dream-come-true “liberation of Baghdad” in response to stuff happening here on 9/11.

Now I get why you don’t go for all that Black Lives Matter nonsense J.E.B.; not even white lives matter to you. Clearly the only things you value are the last little bit of the Second Amendment and tax cuts for the rich. GFY! To be fair, after this latest mass murder, every single one of your fellow Republican’t candy-dolts came out clearly in favor of more guns. Imagine if after 9/11, the United States went and destabilized the entire region whence the attackers came while simultaneously arming our enemies. Oh wait, that’s exactly what we did thanks to your big brother and Cheney. Never mind.

Bed Carson

Have you ever tried to watch Ben Carson speak? Does he make you sleepy? He can’t even keep his own eyes open when he’s talking. Of course, if you were saying the things he says, I guess your best bet would be to make people think you were talking in your sleep.

 

Only one of these things is not like all the others

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Don’t forget to miss out on the latest in Bill O’Reilly’s inspiring and uplifting “Killing” series – Killing Reagan. This promises to be as enjoyable and worthwhile as having a wart installed.

I. Mangrey reporting. I know not what course others may take; but as for me, give me Bernie or give me death!