Carry Nation

To The Teeth

Cleveland, Ohio
March 8, 2016

I know we have often been rough on the Republican’ts here at Paying Attention. The only reason is that they deserve it most of the time. For both of those times when they did not actually deserve such merciless treatment I would like to do something nice for them. Sometimes I worry about them. After all we are all Americans.

It surprises me that I am the one who had to come up with this idea. Full disclosure, it was actually a tip from one of our most loyal readers – a dear old friend. Because of our yuuuuuge readership – numbering in the dozens – he requested that we share this idea in the hopes of having it go viral, or perhaps just bacterial. Whatever.

Herr Chrump, saluting his mob for roughing up black folks, later asking
his minions to make the same gesture while pledging their loyalty. Nice.

As my good friend Mr. B reminded me there’s a saying in Pennsylvania…I know it’s in Texas, I think it’s in Pennsylvania. Fool me once shame on me…I mean, “An armed society is a polite society.” (Though the way Chrump crowds are behaving these days, being black is already considered very impolite.) You have probably heard the quote at some point. It is a staple of the Second Amendment fetishists. I imagine few of them know that this quote comes from Robert A. Heinlein – a science fiction writer. I doubt that would matter to these folks since for them fact and fiction are synonymous. The thinking one assumes, is that if everyone is packing heat everyone is less likely to say or do impolite things for fear of getting shot. Surely it’s all in good fun. I believe this is known as friendly fire. I imagine that the way so many of our ammo-sexuals – as Bill Maher calls them – behave, it would quickly make the Wild West seem like Woodstock – the original Woodstock, not any of those Woodstock-come-latelys. But what do I know, I don’t even own a gun.

Woodstock – 3 days of Peace, Music and
touch that brown acid and I’ll pop a cap in your ass

Here is the great idea we want to share with our Republican’t friends:

It’s Do And/Or Die Time For the RNC

The logical thing is for you to make the 2016 RNC not just an open-carry, but a must-carry event. After all, the primaries have been anything but polite. Not only will all these guns make for a much more polite convention, but with all the conflict over who the nominee should be, what could be better than a fully armed and loaded nominating convention. Most of you are looking for a way, any way, to stop Chrump from running away with the nomination. What better way to choose your standard bearer than a good old fashioned shoot-out in Cleveland? Screw voting. What the hell did voting ever solve? There is no doubt that Chrump and Cruz would gladly agree to this they love the Second Amendment. Chrump surely loves it the best of anyone. The best, I’m telling you. Nobody loves the Second better than Chrump. Nobody. This would hopefully be a last resort. We hope it would never come to this. But it pays to be prepared.

We want to help you become RepubliCANS instead of Republcan’ts. Don’t be shy my friends. Do not presume this is something you cannot do – YES YOU CAN. If Bernie Sanders can give Hillary Clinton, who has been running for president since 1997, a run for her money then anything is possible. Ohio is an open carry state so you’re already half way there. This should be a piece of cake. All you have to do is put your muzzle where your mouth is. Not literally mind you; that could be dangerous, but I’m sure you know what you’re doing. You have made it abundantly clear that the Second Amendment is more important than the First. Your presumptive nominee Mr. Chrump has sworn to uphold the Second Amendment, but is poised to water down the First Amendment to go after those who would besmirch his good name - Drumpf. As the Beach Boys said many years ago, “The pen is mightier than the sword, but no match for a bullet.” This was of course tongue-in-cheek, but nobody subverts a message as well as you guys. Do the right thing and set an example for all Americans. Stand your ground. You know you want to. Don’t conceal your weapons feelings.

Must-Carry  July 18–21, 2016

The time is coming. You have to choose your guy…

The Three Screwges: Marco, Squirrely & Hairy

Help make the 2016 convention the first Must-Carry presidential convention. Tell a Republican’t friend. Write your congressman. Buy a billboard on the highway. Graffiti your neighborhood. Take hostages. By any means necessary. After all as far as the Republcant's are concerned No Lives Matter.

So I ask you, Rubio’s cute, but can he shoot?

I. Mangrey reporting. Happy Bostwick Mr. Birthday!

Election Flashback: Remember in 2000 when Al Gore got excoriated for sighing at George W. Bush? Guess he should have told him to go f*#k himself. He might have won the election…oh wait, he did.