A Boy and His Dick

The Chrump Stomps Here

UPDATED

Lost In The Ozone
March 10, 2016

Only once in a generation (Please!?!) does a presidential candidate come along with the rare combination of arrogance, ignorance, fear and hate mongering and a sociopathic contempt for the truth. And that man is Donald J. Chrump. No one alive on that day in March of 2016 will ever forget where they were or what they were wearing when they heard his inspirational I Have A Dick speech: "I guarantee you there's no problem. I guarantee it." Foreskin and seven millimeters ago. I am telling you it is yuuuuuuge. Believe me. Believe me. I get women to pay for it. I really do. It's true. And it will keep the Mexicans out of our country. How many men would dare make such a moving call to short arms during a presidential debate? I’ll tell you how many – just one. Sure there are other men out there who also have dicks, not Ted Cruz, or J.E.B. or Ben Carson, but there are others. Only one has the zircon encrusted 9K gold-plated balls to bring it up during a presidential debate. At least we can hope so.

As Harry Shearer so astutely noted many years ago regarding the American political landscape, “It’s the stupidity stupid.” A group of golfing white males was recently asked who they liked in the presidential race. All of them favored Republican’ts. One after another each of them said something to the effect of, “Anyone but Hillary.” After all of his buddies said their piece the last one answered with one word – “Trump.” The interviewer then asked why; “He’s got enough money that he can be honest,” the pink polo-shirted man replied. The next question should have been, “Why then do you think it is that every single word out of his mouth is a lie?”

More Winning, and Yes I Am Already Tired Of It

Chrump had another good night on Not-Quite-So-Super Tuesday, March 8^th. At evening’s end he emerged from his tanning/spraying/primping suite to rub our noses in his latest triumph. Most serious candidates taking the stage to revel in a primary victory talk about their vision for the country they hope to lead. Not Donald Chrump. All he does is talk about himself and just how great he really is. And just how mistreated he is by his opponents. And what losers they are. And occasionally how big his dick is. What a pro.

 

If You Downed A Shot Every Time He Mentioned His Own Name You Would Be Dead By Now

Chrump is too busy repeating his own name, showing off the few remaining Chrump Brand products (which are either not owned by him or don’t exist anymore) and purging his rallies of anyone who might possibly disagree with him or look like they might tend to disagree with him…you know people of color. Or members of the media of any color. The Insult Candidate Dog offered to pay the legal fees of anyone assaulting any malcontents daring to attend one of his public events (which he did not in fact do, choosing instead to disavow any connection or responsibility), while egging them on to further violence. Whatever you do, don’t show him a copy of the First Amendment – he might melt. We know he will meltdown. Unsurprisingly Mr. Chrump is hoping you will vote for him so he can be president. But he does not want to be president of all Americans, just one single American – him. Because nothing else really matters. And clearly people are lining up to do just that.

We are in serious trouble folks.

Chrump long ago – in an arena to which he is much better suited
– demonstrated how he would deal with Putin.

It Ain’t Over Until…Well, Any Minute Now

Meanwhile, Republican’t establishment darling Marco Rubio is swirling down the toilet and calling it a relaxing evening in the hot tub. He barely beat out Ben Carson in Mississippi and even Ben Carson knows that he is out of the race. There is no glory in being more clueless than Ben Carson. Chrump, talking about Rubio’s recent slew of attacks on the Donald having no effect said, “Hostility works for some people; it doesn’t work for everybody.” Nothing seems to work for Rubio. Perhaps this is why he “chose” not to run for a second term as senator.

Don’t cry Marco I hear Sarah Palin needs a sidekick.

For The Rest of Us

There is only one way to plan our way forward:

Consult the Magic 8 Ball

I. Mangrey reporting. We live in Strangelove times.
                                                                                                    Mad in USA
UPDATE March 13, 10:53am

Apparently Mr. Chrump is looking into paying the legal fees of a man who sucker punched a black protestor at one of his rallies. Not sure which is worse, lying about covering an assailant’s legal fees or actually doing so. In any event, chances are very good that he is lying about looking into it.