Broken News

Brains Die In Darkness

September 17, 2021

As if the party of Turmp needed to bolster their psychotic pshithead bona fides, a recent poll found that 78% (it was “only” 70% in April) of the Ratpublican electorate do not believe that Joe Biden won the 2020 presidential election. Seventy-eight percent. Almost eight-out-of-ten self-proclaimed patriots. At least I assume the question was about the 2020 presidential election. On Earth. It is entirely possible that these knuckle-dragging nimrods were thinking about an election on a planet in the vicinity of Betelgeuse. Perhaps they were agitated about an election stolen from Zaphod Beeblebrox, or Jabba the Hutt, or Q (the real Q) in his effort to become Galactic Overlord.

Q: “Frankly, we did win this election.”

Polling also shows that 54 percent of these maniacal misfits continue to believe that there is “solid evidence” that Biden did not win, despite never having seen or heard one single shred of solid evidence, liquid evidence or even aerosolized evidence. In fact, more than 60 court cases concluded that there was no such evidence. This includes Pillow Man’s marathon cyber event purported to finally make public the reams of hard evidence proving Turmp won in 2020. The event landed with a dull thud, with a claim of not being able to actually show the evidence for fear of it being “hacked.”

And these are the people vociferously accusing Joe Biden of being mentally unfit.

There's a word for all of this...SAD!

In Other Un-American News…

Jair Bolsonaro, Brazil's more normally colored, though no less insane, authoritarian and narcissistic (though possibly even more psychotic) version of Turmp, told supporters at a rally that “only God will oust me” and that Brazil’s electronic voting system is “a farce." Sound, nauseatingly familiar?

This has been a Paying Attention Special Broken News report.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled exasperation.