Fifth Dead In Ohio Anyone?

Take Him To The River, Drop Him In The Water

April 4, 2024

Pathetic loser and murderous asshole Kyle Rittenhouse is on a speaking tour of college campuses under the auspices of the racist organization Turning Point USA. The reason eludes this reporter and there is no interest in finding out what it might be. Instead, I prefer to learn second-hand how it’s going, and it’s going as well as could be hoped. 

Thus far, the little shit has been challenged with questions from anti-racists and hustled off the stage in Tennessee at the University of Memphis. At his next stop, Rittenhouse again had to cut short his screed at Western Kentucky University. Some might consider this an example of the definition of insanity – doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I prefer to think of it as an example of unparallelled douchebaggery.

Rittenhouse is scheduled to shoot off his mouth at Kent State University in Ohio shortly before the anniversary of the National Guard gunning down four Kent State student protesters on May 4, 1970. The Kent State Massacre took the lives of Allison Krause, 19, Jeffrey Glenn Miller, 20, Sandra Lee Scheuer, 20, and William Knox Schroeder, 19.

Kent State Massacre, May 4, 1970

On August 25, 2020, when he was 17, Rittenhouse shot three men, killing two of them, during the civil unrest in Kenosha, Wisconsin that followed the shooting of Jacob Blake by a police officer. Rittenhouse, having made his way from Illinois to Wisconsin, presumably to hunt black protesters, was armed with an AR-15 style rifle and had joined a group of armed citizens (i.e., criminal shitheads) in Kenosha who had said they were there to protect local businesses. And who asked them to do that, you ask? Don’t ask.

Most recent photo of Rittenhouse

A jury weighed two counts of homicide, one count of attempted homicide, and two counts of reckless endangerment, and found Rittenhouse not guilty on all charges. It’s good to be armed and white in America.

Rittenhouse feigned remorse as he wept in hopes of drowning the jury and keeping his sorry ass out of prison. Killer Kyle’s fake tears at his hearing are the stuff of legend. Kyle’s croc-o-shit tears would have made Niobe laugh hysterically.

Despite my efforts to guide him toward a better path in life, the allure of notoriety triumphed over the prospect of putting in the hard work of pursuing an education. Kyle is ill-equipped to offer advice to young people. I regret my role in shaping him into whatever he has become. If I had known what I know now about Kyle’s history, I wouldn’t have been involved.
                David Hancock, former spokesman for Kyle  Rittenhouse

Krocodile-Kryin’ Killer Kyle in happier times

When Crocodile-tear Kyle shows up at Kent State (if he is dumb enough to do so) and begins yapping about whatever the fuck he’s planning to whine about, someone should call in the National Guard.

 
Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young – Ohio

I. Mangrey reporting. How can I run when I know?